Originally posted by payalibm
Originally posted by crazy4KASH_AR
<font size="4">I thought of making this thread the moment I saw Asad and Najma's breakfast scene on November 2,2012.</font>
<font size="4">Asad's speech to Najma about not wearing jeans and going to lounge is bound to form different opinions in our minds about Asad's personlity.I'm here to share my views regarding Asad's thinking related to his culture and the possible reasons behind it.</font>
Disclaimer: I don't intend to hurt the sentiments of anyone.The post is quite long and something serious ,so please try to read it with a broader perspective.No offense to any lifestyle,country or religion intended.
<font size="4">Before delving into the details of Asad and Najma's scene, first let me highlight a few significant points about Islam and Asad's character.</font>
Now, I'm first highlighting some important aspects of Islam to clear certain points about the Muslim culture.
<font size="4">In Islam, guidance has been given to females that a girl should try not to wear a cloth which symbolizes a man's apparel. But at the same time it's just a guideline, at the end of the day Allah has left everything on the followers. They may follow things they wish for and not follow that they don't. Islam says that it can just advise to follow the right path and never force anyone to do something against his or her wish.</font>
<font size="4">Many Muslim girls wear jeans and personally I don't find anything wrong about it if it is carried out in an elegant manner. However, if one goes by the religious aspect girls are advised to wear clothes in which their body is less/least revealed[Pardah is used because of the same reason because women are believed to be jewels which should be hidden and not put for display. It is said that the more a woman covers herself outside her home, Allah's noor makes her look even more pretty. Pardah gives many people [both Muslim men & women] a protective feeling. However, pardah is also not a compulsion in Islam. Again it is a way of living that is guided to females].</font>
<font size="4">Coming to men, men are also advised to avoid dresses that give a female appearance.</font>
<font size="4">Advising women not to wear men's clothes does not make Islam conservative. It is just an advice given to the females. It does not mean that those Muslim girls who wear Jeans are modern and those who don't are orthodox. Neither it means that those men who believe that girls should not wear modern clothes are conformists and nor does it signify that wearing jeans is wrong.</font>
<font size="4">Different people have different values and different religions have different ideologies. If a thing is advised in a culture, it is obviously for a reason. Sometimes we are able to understand the logic and sometimes we can't. So we should try to look at things with a broader perspective.</font>
<font size="4">Islam has laid great emphasis on protecting women and giving them the rights they deserve. That is why men are given the right to 4 marriages. Islam does not allow a man to have a second wife for fun and money. There are strict rules to be followed for the second marriage which is done under hard circumstances for a man or a woman. A man needs to first seek permission from his first wife to marry the second one first of all. There are many rules and I'm not going into the details of it. I just wanted to point out one of the women's rights in Islam which is quite significant for the show.</font>
<font size="4">As Asad said: 'numaish paschim ki ada hai aur sharm purab ka gehna'.</font>
<font size="4">This is what Islam says. It hardly imposes anything.</font>
<font size="4">There was a time in India when women didn't wear western clothes and disapproved it. With passing time, the living style of people changed. So, definitely at some point of time all Indians thought that women should be protected and not wear revealing dresses. But today the thinking has changed. It hardly means that everyone should think like the present times. There can be many people in the young generation too who can have old beliefs in different matters which includes matters other than the attire of women.</font>
<font size="4">Well this was all about Islam and its ideologies according to my point of view. [No intention of offending any religion, custom, tradition or lifestyle is meant].</font>
<font size="4">Tahzeeb is an important word in the lives of all of us.</font>
<font size="4">It is said that to go to heaven you need to behave respectfully with your parents. That is the first thing a child is taught when he starts growing which is to respect everyone around him.</font>
Now coming to Asad and his 'tahzeeb'.
<font size="4">It would not be wrong to say that Asad and tahzeeb(manners/culture) walk hand in hand.</font>
<font size="4">Tahzeeb of Asad Ahmed Khan is something that we all are adoring a lot.His attitude is so decent that many of us have fell in love with Asad.</font>
<font size="4">I would like to make few points in relation to this statement from the very first episode.</font>
<font size="4">Asad was introduced in a 'kurta' in the entry scene and was shown helping and caring for blind people. At the same time he had a guitar in hand and sang a song.</font>
<font size="4">It does not mean that all Muslim boys are asked to wear kurta 24*7.There is no such preaching.He is shown in a kurta because Kurta is related to Muslim outfits and a man in kurta is first considered to be a Muslim only.None of us can deny that Kurta and Guitar Gul used 2 things and related it to Asad's traditional values with modern thinking exceptionally well.</font>
<font size="4"> (For offering namaz it is advised that one should wear trousers/pyjamas/jeans/whatever such that the knees are covered and ankles are exposed. Men and women both can wear western outfits but the outfits need to fall under the defined norms of Islam.Regarding women there is a certain partition that is to be present between the 2 legs of a cloth and the apparels which don't have them are eventually advised not to put on. I can't elaborate further this point in public.In Saudi Arabia during women gatherings,girls wear skirts,jeans and party freely.This clearly states that women are free to wear anything in Islam provided a male above 5 years is not present in that gathering where western clothes are worn by females.Evil eyes can always be a danger for a girl and Islam is quite particular about this thing).</font>
<font size="4">Asad helped the blind child by leading his hand towards the coin and not picking it up and putting in the box. This shows that he thinks everyone is capable enough to handle himself no matter what the circumstances are. It clearly indicated that he is a man of simple living and high thinking.</font>
<font size="4">Then we see Ayaan and Asad together. While on the one hand, Ayaan is a big flirt on the other hand Asad is quite serious in life. It was quite amazing to see Asad looking down all the time when Ayaan enjoyed looking at the passing beauties. And then came the lovely dialogue:-"Ayaan kya badtameezi hai". It showed how much he disliked all the flirtatious comments of Ayaan. He frowned and caressed his forehead which showed his embarrassment at Ayaan's open comments to the passing women.</font>
<font size="4">In Islam, it advised for both men and women that if a stranger guy or girl is passing one should look down and not gawk shamelessly at the opposite sex. Unless necessary, one should avoid gazing at the opposite sex just for fun. [This is called 'Nazar ka pardah']Asad was following this all the time he spend with his brother. This shows how deeply he follows this saying of his religion.</font>
<font size="4">Next we see Asad going to a mazaar in the attire that was most suitable for the place. And though, Asad wished not to stare at Zoya, his eyes remained glued at her. It might be possible that he felt bad for her watching her in tears. Well, something divine happened at that time that made Asad forget everything for a while and look aimlessly at Zoya. But we saw him soon composing himself.</font>
<font size="4">Thereafter comes the first meeting of Asad and Zoya.</font>
<font size="4">He asked Zoya if she was fine. Zoya in return cursed him without thinking even once. He was standing in a Stand at ease position (gosh I loved his posture soo much) and trying to listen to her patiently. Finally a heated argument happened and when Zoya praised New York, he could help but defend his beloved country.</font>
<font size="4">The moment Zoya cursed men for gawking at women, he could not help but point it out that "Agar ladkiyan apni nazrein neechi rakhke chalein toh unhe aur kisi ki hifazat ki zaroorat nahin padegi".</font>
<font size="4">Well at this point he simply tried to point what he himself does when women walk around him. For Muslims this is the expected behavior for all boys and girls.</font>
<font size="4">This scene was followed by another fight where Zoya cursed Asad and men like him who thought that women are at fault all the time and cursed India and its impositions on women.</font>
<font size="4">I'm sure many of you must have loved the beautiful dialogue of Asad: </font>
<font size="4">"jise aap pabandi keh rahi hain usey hum tahzeeb kehte hain</font>
<font size="4">numaish pashchim ki ada hai , sharm purab ka gehna</font>
<font size="4">Is mulq mein aurtein isi gehne se sajti hain"</font>
<font size="4">This dialogue clearly shows that there is a marked difference between restriction and culture (tahzeeb). Restrictions confine you but culture preaches you.</font>
<font size="4">Asad's dialogue made Zoya speechless for a while who was unable to shut her mouth for even a minute. It showed that she had no comeback point for this statement.</font>
<font size="4">And then we see how nicely he tells Zoya that he does not want to argue with her on her wedding day. Again this shows how much he respects women and cares for everyone'</font>
<font size="4">Moving forward when he walked away from the hospital and his dad called him beta, even then he didn't talk rudely with him. His voice was painful and he called his father janaab instead of taking his name or using any other word. He definitely didn't wish to offend his father but hearing 'beta' after 17 years from his own selfish father made him utter a sentence that made speechless everyone at that point of time. This shows that he hates his father to the core but can never do something which his ammi has not taught him that is, disrespecting elders.</font>
<font size="4">Next we see Asad ignoring his mom's requests when they both arrived home and going to his room. And then again we see the obedient son apologizing for his behavior from his ammi. He even agrees for marriage to fulfill his mother's wishes just like a dutiful responsible son.</font>
Finally, I've reached the reason for making this thread<font size="4">. </font>
<font size="4">As many of you have pointed out, Asad is a conservative person. I also agree a bit to it. He a bit reserved kind of person as well. </font>
<font size="4">Asad is a person who was brought up by a single mother.17 years ago when he was abandoned by his father; Asad transformed into a man from a child.</font>
<font size="4">The moment Najma pointed out that "bhaijaan mujhe apne kandhon pe school chodne jaya arte they..." my heart cried out for her.</font>
<font size="4">Asad became a responsible son and a responsible elder brother at an age when he deserved to be carefree and enjoy his childhood.</font>
<font size="4">As it often said, what once learns in childhood from his mom seems to cast an important effect on the attitude of a person.</font>
<font size="4">Asad has seen his mom wearing suits always since childhood. His mom must have taught him all the details about Islam.</font>
<font size="4">The result we have is a very obedient son of Dilshad who respects his mom a lot and tries to follow whatever his mom had taught him.He even agreed to meet his father just for the sake of his mom as he has never disobeyed her.</font>
All the above scenes clearly show that there are different layers of Asad's character and it would take a lot of time unleash the different shades of Asad Ahmed Khan. Sometimes he is a caring brother who gets hurt for saving his STEP-BROTHER and sometimes he is a serious person arguing with a lady because she cursed the women related ideologies of his beloved country. At times, he is an angry son and at other times he is a sensible friend and son to his ammi who wishes to make his mother at ease after a major incident in their lives.
In all the above scenes, we got a clue about the different aspects of Asad's personality which clearly indicated that he is a man of values. Asad is a person who is proud of his culture and country and at the same time he is quite modern and broad-minded as well<font size="4">.</font>
<font size="4">Najma seems to respect her brother a lot and tries to seek permission from him in every matter of hers.</font>
<font size="4">When Najma asked permission from Asad for going out, he agreed at once like a cool brother. But the moment she told him about the timings, protective side of him emerged. He told her that he would pick her and drop as well. I'm sure he must be wishing to do that to check out himself if the place is god enough for his sister or not.</font>
<font size="4">Asad asked Najma not to wear jeans because he must have learned in his growing days that jeans are not an advisable dress for Muslim women.</font>
<font face="Comic Sans MS, Times, serif" size="4" color="#ff0000">However, the point which he put across to stop Najma from wearing jeans was simply outstanding. He told her that one becomes modern and old fashioned by mentality and not by attire.
Like Asad, I also feel that if to enter the place one needs to leave back his culture, and then it's better not to go to such a place.</font>
<font size="4">Personally I can't leave my own values and do a thing against my principles just for the sake that others are doing it. So I didn't find anything wrong in Asad denying Najma the permission to wear jeans.</font>
<font color="#0033ff" face="Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="2">i read your post...and it really gave me very deep insight about the culture and tradition...and i am very much thankfull to you heartlyyy...</font>
<font face="Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="2"><font color="#ff0000">bold@red ... </font><font color="#cc00cc">i wil disagree with you in this part... like asad said about the dress and place and not going to the place if it stops you from having one tahezeb and all...so how come he converted into suit and 3 piece...if i am nto wrong this lecture for tradition and all is simply not only for woman but for men too... he can change his attire and be modern and wear suits acording to hsi need and taste and what suits the enviornment..like in businesss and all..so why this restriction on his sister...is there some kind of say in islam men can change there attire to western and woman cant... if thats the case then hwo come zoya sis and juju dissobeyd islam..i dont think even while leaving in UK..they both have chnged and dosent follow islam rules and traditions...</font></font>
<font face="Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="2"><font color="#cc00cc">i was dissapointed at his words..to say the truth and openion...i was actually shoked...coz what he is teaching he himself is not preching it...if he has been in tradition attire and moves in circle wearing it and not changing himlself and then he gave those words to hsi sister then i would have apploude for him...but i was highly dissapointed and sad at hsi thoughts and openion...
I completely understand your point of view and concern. I've made this thread for this very reason only.
I pointed out before about women in Saudi Arabia that they wear even extremely short clothes during women gatherings.
There is no compulsion in Islam for men to wear kurta 24*7 or for women to wear suits 24*7.Western dress are allowed in Islam
Asad is not preaching Najma something which he does not feels for himself.
Islam is not against modernization but at the same time women and men are provided certain code of conduct called Tahzeeb which they are advised to follow.
If Islam didn't allow western clothes, no Muslim girl must have wore modern clothes and roam around.
It is just advised not to wear clothes that give you the look of a male. Please make a note, it's an advice.
At the end of the day it depends on a person to follow certain beliefs of a religion and remain knowingly ignorant to a few of them.
Today Muslims girls are carrying on jeans quite gracefully just like other girls.
What Asad and I agree upon is that if one needs to leave his values behind and do something, then it is better not to do that.
In a social gathering if you put on a cloth just because others will make fun of you if you don't wear it then according me it would be the lamest thing to do. Everyone has got a personality and certain beliefs and values. One should try to adapt to changes but not redefine his personality only to please others. Najma was trying to do something that she has never done before. Asad was ready to drop her at the lounge but the moment he heard her wish of jeans he became quite strict. Had Najma thought of wearing the jeans for herself, Asad might have tried to give a thought about it I think but she wanted to go for a modern outfit just to enter a silly place and please her friends. Suits are formals and if one stops you from entering a place wearing it, you can sue him in court for sure.
Asad is the elder one and Najma didn't wish to do a thing that would displease her brother that is why she remained quite when her bhaijaan told her not to go to lounge in jeans. She has full faith in her brother and knows that whatever he decides would be good for her. Najma is not a completely independent girl. Unlike Asad, she had an elder one to look after and protect her always.So at the end of the day she decided to go silent with her bhaijaan's statement.
It hardly means that Asad was trying to impose his rules on Najma,he mentioned the reason behind his denial quite amazingly.
Personally I'm not against any single western outfit. We girls look lovely in them..
In Islam , there is a clause about women's apparals which needs to be present if a girl follows Islam strictly.
Islam is a very flexible religion.It seems to appear rigid but it is not.
One can't offer namaz in jeans-so you can understand a bit why Asad can't give permission to Najma to wear jeans. Asad would definitely want Najma to walk on the footsteps of his mom. It is quite natural.Her mom must have wore suits always and that is why he must have become quite used to see the ladies of his house in suits.All of a sudden giving permission for a jeans is next to impossible.
Had Najma been a little wise, she could have tried to make her bhaijaan understand her point of view and tell him how badly she wishes to wear jeans for herself and not for others. I'm sure Asad could not have denied his baby sister on too much persistence.
At the end of a day Asad is a protective brother. A sister really can get irritated because of certain strictness being laid upon her by her brother when it comes to going out late night. Moreover,Bhopal is not such a safe place.So Asad is quite expected to deny for jeans in the first request by Najma.
Well this is my point of you and you can still have different views about Asad..
But anyways I'm glad that you could gain some more insights about Islam.
I hope I could answer a little bit of your query.