Tahzeeb of Asad Ahmed Khan,Thank You note-11 - Page 2

Originally posted by: fly_chick

I agree with each and every word of yours and love the post. I myself have an older brother who despite being 18 months older is over protective of me...He's always saying don't do this or that and to an extent I agree with his views. It's the same for Asad.

Asad has too wear a suit as it's an office... you'd have no choice and I don't think he has much of a problem with Najma wearing jeans- he said that if you have to change yourself to please others then there's no point..as with Najma-she wants to wear jeans because others are wearing them not because she herself wants too...Islam says to dress appropritely and in a way which doesn't attract others attention. In India/Pakistan, I'm sure wearing jeans would attract attention of males, I mean I live in the UK and am studying at university.. I wears jeans to university. I'd probably get more attention for wearing Shalwar Kameez to uni that jeans as I'd stand out more and look different. Asad was fine with Najma going there but doesn't want her to change herself for others and rightfully so...the fact that she didn't argue shows she respects her brother and knows he'll do whats best for her. Asad is deeply rooted into his culture aswell as religion. I mean anyone- whether muslim or HIndu wouldn't want their sisters out late..like he said he'll pick her up and drop her. My brother says the same thing...It's a brothers nature to be overly protective and Asad is a father to Najma aswell as a brother so he isn't wrong in that sense..

I

Originally posted by: payalibm

<font color="#0033ff" face="Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="2">i read your post...and it really gave me very deep insight about the culture and tradition...and i am very much thankfull to you heartlyyy...</font>

<font face="Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="2"><font color="#ff0000">bold@red ... </font><font color="#cc00cc">i wil disagree with you in this part... like asad said about the dress and place and not going to the place if it stops you from having one tahezeb and all...so how come he converted into suit and 3 piece...if i am nto wrong this lecture for tradition and all is simply not only for woman but for men too... he can change his attire and be modern and wear suits acording to hsi need and taste and what suits the enviornment..like in businesss and all..so why this restriction on his sister...is there some kind of say in islam men can change there attire to western and woman cant... if thats the case then hwo come zoya sis and juju dissobeyd islam..i dont think even while leaving in UK..they both have chnged and dosent follow islam rules and traditions...</font></font>

<font face="Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="2"><font color="#cc00cc">i was dissapointed at his words..to say the truth and openion...i was actually shoked...coz what he is teaching he himself is not preching it...if he has been in tradition attire and moves in circle wearing it and not changing himlself and then he gave those words to hsi sister then i would have apploude for him...but i was highly dissapointed and sad at hsi thoughts and openion...
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I completely understand your point of view and concern. I've made this thread for this very reason only.
I pointed out before about women in Saudi Arabia that they wear even extremely short clothes during women gatherings.
There is no compulsion in Islam for men to wear kurta 24*7 or for women to wear suits 24*7.Western dress are allowed in Islam
Asad is not preaching Najma something which he does not feels for himself.
Islam is not against modernization but at the same time women and men are provided certain code of conduct called Tahzeeb which they are advised to follow.
If Islam didn't allow western clothes, no Muslim girl must have wore modern clothes and roam around.
It is just advised not to wear clothes that give you the look of a male. Please make a note, it's an advice.
At the end of the day it depends on a person to follow certain beliefs of a religion and remain knowingly ignorant to a few of them.
Today Muslims girls are carrying on jeans quite gracefully just like other girls.
What Asad and I agree upon is that if one needs to leave his values behind and do something, then it is better not to do that.
In a social gathering if you put on a cloth just because others will make fun of you if you don't wear it then according me it would be the lamest thing to do. Everyone has got a personality and certain beliefs and values. One should try to adapt to changes but not redefine his personality only to please others. Najma was trying to do something that she has never done before. Asad was ready to drop her at the lounge but the moment he heard her wish of jeans he became quite strict. Had Najma thought of wearing the jeans for herself, Asad might have tried to give a thought about it I think but she wanted to go for a modern outfit just to enter a silly place and please her friends. Suits are formals and if one stops you from entering a place wearing it, you can sue him in court for sure.😆
Asad is the elder one and Najma didn't wish to do a thing that would displease her brother that is why she remained quite when her bhaijaan told her not to go to lounge in jeans. She has full faith in her brother and knows that whatever he decides would be good for her. Najma is not a completely independent girl. Unlike Asad, she had an elder one to look after and protect her always.So at the end of the day she decided to go silent with her bhaijaan's statement.
It hardly means that Asad was trying to impose his rules on Najma,he mentioned the reason behind his denial quite amazingly.
Personally I'm not against any single western outfit. We girls look lovely in them..
In Islam , there is a clause about women's apparals which needs to be present if a girl follows Islam strictly.
Islam is a very flexible religion.It seems to appear rigid but it is not.
One can't offer namaz in jeans-so you can understand a bit why Asad can't give permission to Najma to wear jeans. Asad would definitely want Najma to walk on the footsteps of his mom. It is quite natural.Her mom must have wore suits always and that is why he must have become quite used to see the ladies of his house in suits.All of a sudden giving permission for a jeans is next to impossible.
Had Najma been a little wise, she could have tried to make her bhaijaan understand her point of view and tell him how badly she wishes to wear jeans for herself and not for others. I'm sure Asad could not have denied his baby sister on too much persistence.
At the end of a day Asad is a protective brother. A sister really can get irritated because of certain strictness being laid upon her by her brother when it comes to going out late night. Moreover,Bhopal is not such a safe place.So Asad is quite expected to deny for jeans in the first request by Najma.

Well this is my point of you and you can still have different views about Asad..
But anyways I'm glad that you could gain some more insights about Islam.
I hope I could answer a little bit of your query.

Originally posted by: payalibm

hey!its a humble request...can you please take out hindu and muslim word out from your post and insted there are other words like cast and all you can put...already enough going in world regrding this 2 cast people...plzz dont give evena remote chance to any oen to create war betwen hindu and muslim...and here no one has said anythign agaist his taking care of his sister..this is not only ofr hindu or muslim but for evry single brother and sister normal aspect..be in east west north south...evry bro cares for sis...even younger bro who ahs grown up also takes care of elder sis...so huble request..plz take out the word hindu and muslim from your post

regards

payal

Originally posted by: fly_chick

<font face="Georgia">I agree with each and every word of yours and love the post. I myself have an older brother who despite being 18 months older is over protective of me...He's always saying don't do this or that and to an extent I agree with his views. It's the same for Asad.

Asad has too wear a suit as it's an office... you'd have no choice and I don't think he has much of a problem with Najma wearing jeans- he said that if you have to change yourself to please others then there's no point..as with Najma-she wants to wear jeans because others are wearing them not because she herself wants too...Islam says to dress appropritely and in a way which doesn't attract others attention. In India/Pakistan, I'm sure wearing jeans would attract attention of males, I mean I live in the UK and am studying at university.. I wears jeans to university. I'd probably get more attention for wearing Shalwar Kameez to uni that jeans as I'd stand out more and look different. Asad was fine with Najma going there but doesn't want her to change herself for others and rightfully so...the fact that she didn't argue shows she respects her brother and knows he'll do whats best for her. Asad is deeply rooted into his culture aswell as religion. I mean anyone-no matter what culture they're fromwouldn't want their sisters out late..like he said he'll pick her up and drop her. My brother says the same thing...It's a brothers nature to be overly protective and Asad is a father to Najma aswell as a brother so he isn't wrong in that sense..

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Thanks a lot for such an amazing feedback.
I'm the eldest but my cousin brothers are like real brothers.They pamper me a lot and at the same time have hundreds of rules for me and my safety.
I liked your point about jeans and Arabic girls a lot..
I also pointed out this thing.
In my university I've also got friends from UAE and they carry on western clothes perfectly taking care about the revealation part.
I understand that if in UK you wear suits, you may stand out.
As I said before I'm not at all again western outfits at all.
I just wanted to defend Asad's character with my point of views.
I'm glad that you and may others have agreed with me.
Any brother might get concerned about his sister going out late night and that too wearing a jeans for the very first time.
A big no is quite expected...
Thanks again for such a wonderful review.
Take care!
Asma

exctlyyy...if he is not wearing 24\7 then why asking her to wear 24\7...and most of all his mom dint had issue with her daughter wearing jeans but she cudnt help it as she knew asad wont like it...so again its a typical indian male ego on work... (i am gladly and happily stating it now) all indian men will behave exctly like asad is behaving...but ...but...20 to 30 years before... now things have chnged...and welll..think he said about culture and tradition...lolzz people will make more fun of her if she goes in her tradition attire...evry place has its own codes...evry one in westerna dn she will be in tradition attire...so as one member stated leaving in UK and wearing jeans and no one bothers but if she goes in uni wearing slawar people will defo. stare so same here in club when no one would notice her if she mingles like others..but think club full of western wear and all and suddenly one comes in salwar suit...lolzz.what asad meyan wanted to protect much will be reveled extreme as then not people...lolzz.but even waiters and bar tenders and evry oen including females will also stare towards the dreesss and person...this is absurd..ridiculs...he cant wear kurta in office as out of place and not good and her sister should wear same even if its out of place and if feels so should stop going to that place and if go bear the shame...lolzzz...but same dosent apply on him...hehehhe..complite indian typical man orthodox thoughtsss... i am happyyy its nothing of any cast... but of male and its gypocracy and egoitsm...MCP...

Originally posted by: payalibm

<font color="#0000ff" face="Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif"><font size="3">exctlyyy...</font><font size="2">if he is not wearing 24\7 then why asking her to wear 24\7...and most of all his mom dint had issue with her daughter wearing jeans but she cudnt help it as she knew asad wont like it...so again its a typical indian male ego on work... (i am gladly and happily stating it now) all indian men will behave exctly like asad is behaving...but ...but...20 to 30 years before... now things have chnged...and welll..think he said about culture and tradition...lolzz people will make more fun of her if she goes in her tradition attire...evry place has its own codes...evry one in westerna dn she will be in tradition attire...so as one member stated leaving in UK and wearing jeans and no one bothers but if she goes in uni wearing slawar people will defo. stare so same here in club when no one would notice her if she mingles like others..but think club full of western wear and all and suddenly one comes in salwar suit...lolzz.what asad meyan wanted to protect much will be reveled extreme as then not people...lolzz.but even waiters and bar tenders and evry oen including females will also stare towards the dreesss and person...this is absurd..ridiculs...he cant wear kurta in office as out of place and not good and her sister should wear same even if its out of place and if feels so should stop going to that place and if go bear the shame...lolzzz...but same dosent apply on him...hehehhe..complite indian typical man orthodox thoughtsss... i am happyyy its nothing of any cast... but of male and its gypocracy and egoitsm...MCP...</font></font>

Payal Payal Payal
Darling plz cool down for a while and just imagine yourself in place of Asad and consider me Najma.
You know what Asad is by this time and I've come for the same permission.Plz answer me what would have been ur reply to my request as per ASAD on wearing jeans for the first time for the sake of my friends...

I'll reply to this post of yours after you answer my question..

Originally posted by: fly_chick

 

I agree with what you're saying. I've taken hindu/muslim out. I didn't mean to offend anyone, but I'm saying exactly what you're saying...Brothers always are protective of their sisters, it's in their nature...Sorry if you're offended...

 

Wow that one heck of an insightful post👏

Originally posted by: crazy4KASH_AR

Payal Payal Payal
Darling plz cool down for a while and just imagine yourself in place of Asad and consider me Najma.
You know what Asad is by this time and I've come for the same permission.Plz answer me what would have been ur reply to my request as per ASAD on wearing jeans for the first time for the sake of my friends...

I'll reply to this post of yours after you answer my question..

Great work Asma. I m sure many of them had doubt about it. You write very well and it was surely needed.👏