Originally posted by: Nishi.Singh
RK ke Killer Dialogs Collection
"Biwi ab tum apna patni dharam bhi bhool gayi ho?...tumhi ne aadat bigadi hai, apne haatho se khilane ki...ab bhugto"
"Ye Bhatia Group of Badmash Company keechad hi aisa hai..Thodi der iske aas paas reh lo to apne kapde bhi maile lag jaane lagte hai"
"Bittu G agar wo mujhe maarna bhi chahegi to itna ghuma phira ke nahi...samne ayegi, mere aankhon ke samne gun load karegi...meri aankhon mein aakhein daal kar gun uthayegi, fire karegi...Haan wo baat alag hai ki uska nishana kaisa hoga...Nishana maathe par hoga par ched kaan mein hogi"
"Aapse kisne kaha...kisne kaha aapse Bittu G ki aapka muh chota hai..Aapka muh to bahut bada hai...jisse aap Madhu ke baare mein koi badi si baat kehne ke liye utawale ho rahe hai"
"Bittu G main koi khoobsurat painting to hu nahi jo aap mujhe aise ghoore ja rahe hai"
"Tum dawai ka peecha nahi chodogi, hai na?...Kya naam du main tumhe? Meri Chemical Wife"
"Tum ja sakti ho...Thank you...Get lost"
"Aasmaan neela kyon hai? Gulaab mein khushboo kyon hai? Aur tumhari in aankhon mein gandi si ghinauni si chamak kyon hai? Hai koi jawaab? Nahi...Tumhe tumhare sawaal ka jawaab mil chuka hai ki kuch sawaalon ke jawaab nahi hote"
"Haan agar meri shirt ke liye keh rahi ho toh...isay bechne wale ne kaha tha isay hafte mein ek baar aansuon se dhona...iski shine iski chamak bahi rahegi...so Thankyou"
"Is that clear...Junior Bhatia, Mrs. Junior Bhatia, Mr Senior Bhatia...Good!...Mrs Junior Hhatia! Bag! Fast"
"Galat dialog, laash bag utha hi nahi sakti...Tumhe khud zinda rehte huye is bag ko mere kamre mein rakh kar aana hoga...Aur khabardaar jo kisi naukar se kaha, Zinda hi is ghar se bahar phek di jaogi"
"Do baatein kehni thi...Pehli - main abhi poori tarah se theek nahi hua hu, mujhe rest ki aur zarurat hai...Isliye kripya karke bakwaas band kar di jaaye...Dusri baat - Dipali ye bag uthao aur poore National Honour ke saath mere kamre mein rakh kar aao"
"Biwi mere kamre mein jao...BIWI...Sidiyon se chadhkar upar right mein kamra pehla mera hai...Knock karne ki zarurat nahi hai kyonki main yaha hu...Biwi tumhe kamre mein jaana hoga kyonki kamra neeche chal kar nahi ayega...Maine kaha JAO!'
"Shamsher Malik urf Sasur ji...main jaanta hu aap mujhe pasand nahi karte...waise aapko dekh kar mera dil ki koi bhari nahi ho padta hai...to phir ye maafi ehsaan jaise dialogs mat boliye...character ko suit nahi karta"
"Great! bahut achi investigation ki hai aapne...kya naam hai aapka? N.K. Pandit...RK apni agli film mein apna naam yehi rakhega...ye inaam kaafi hoga aapke liye?...ab finally is case ko band kar diya jaaye"
"Biwi agar tumhe mailka ki hawa lagne se ye mood kharab hone wala jukaam ho jaata hai to aaj ke baad tum kabhi bhi maike nahi jaogi...mujhe wo ladako ziddi jungli billi wali biwi pasand hai, dari sehmi si gilheri nahi"
"Bittu G kisi kaam se mujhe yaad kar rahe the ya bahot zor se meri yaad aayi?"
"Kis cheez mein aagay ho? besharmi mein?...na tum mere liye ho aur na main tumhare liye...haan wo darwaza zarur hum dono ke liye hai jisse tum bahar jaogi aur tumhre jaane ke baad main band karunga"
"Biwi main tumhe bahut miss kar raha hu...Agar aisa tumhe lagta hai to tum galat ho...Koi tumhe miss nahi kar raha"
"Biwi Saasu maa ko phone do taaki main unhe ye keh du ki wo tumhe loori suna kar sula de...aur tum mera peechha chhodo"
"Biwi kitni Talented ho tum...itni dur baith kar bhi mujhe irritate kar rahi ho"
"Biwi main kisi jungle mein kisi gufa ke andar nahi rehta...jo mera dhyaan rakhne ke liye koi na ho...tumhe do din ki chhuti mili hai tum apni chhutiyan enjoy karo...aur mujhe miss karna band karo"
"Tum pichle janam mein chemist thi kya jo hamesha dawaiyon ke peeche padi rehti ho"
"Arey kya hua biwi, tum chup kyon ho?...biwi itna chup to tum apni neend mein bhi nahi rehti"
"Biwi...biwi mujhe subah se bahut hichkiya aa rahi hai...Bittu G ne mujhse kaha mujhe koi bahut buri tarah se yaad kar raha hai...main ye kehne ke liye phone karne hi wala tha tumhe ki mujhe yaad karna band kar do...kyonki mera aur hichkiya lene ka bilkul mood nahi hai"
"Jaanti ho mujhe aakhiri baar sshhh kab kiya gaya tha?...jab main senior KG mein tha"
"Good Morning RK...bewakuf banna band karo...wo yaha nahi hai"
"Ruko...Bhabhi ji ko bhi saath le kar jao neeche...inse sukh-dukh ki baatein karo, tv dikhao inhe...kyonki is ghar mein inka time paas nahi ho raha hai"
"Biwi jao...2 din apne maike mein aish karo"
"Ek beti ko kitchen mein chaku se tamatar kaat ta hua baap achha lag sakta hai par kisi ka gala kaat ta hua nahi"
"Kaisa lagega Sasurji jab log apki beti se "Papa kaise hai?" iske badle ye puchenge, "Papa pakde gaye?"
"Haan kuch baat hai, nahi toh hum dono chamkadar toh hai nahi ki raat ko bhatkenge"
"Om Shanti Om...Shanti Shanti Om...Om...Shanti Om...Shanti Shanti Om.."
"Parde par bhi main, Parde ke bahar bhi main...Deewana kar dene ki hadd honi chahiye...hai na?"
"Mera dialogue abhi pura nahi hua hai biwi...aur mujhe pasand nahi ki koi mera dialog beech mein kaate"
"Suraj se pucho usmein aag kyun hain, sangeet se pucho usmein Raag kyun hain aur Chand se pucho usmein daag kyun hain...main uss mitti ka bana hoon jo ek taraf sukhi hai and dusri taraf geeli"
"Main apne sawalon ke jawab ke liye saari zindagi intezaar kar sakta hu...mazaak kar raha tha...RK intezaar karta nahi, Karata hai"
"Biwi, agar tumhe shant murti bankar rehna hai toh mujhe bata do, hall me jo bhi kona tumhara fav hoga, wahan table lagwa dunga, khadi ho jana wahan boot bankar"
"I love u mere katil papa"
"Smart Boy...oops sorry...smart Sasurji"
"Yadi ek awaaz aur aap jail ki salakhon ke peeche honge kurta aur aadhi nikkar pehene chakki peesing and peesing and peesing"
"Bad luck sasurji...aapko 3 mauke mile fir bhi aap mera kuch nahi bigaad paaye...achha khasa khada hu aapke saamne...aur maine ek hi baar mein apki kya halat kar di thi *tch tch tch*"
"Aap lambi aur ghehri saas le...aur kripya mujhe bataye ki kyo aapne apne damaad...sorry correction...Apne beti ke suhaag ko ujadna chaha?"
"Muddai Laakh Bura Chahe To Kya Hota Hai?...Wahi Hota Hai Jo Manzoore RK Hota Hai"
"Naah...tum ye kabhi nahi karogi biwi...balki tumhara bas chale to tum hafte mein teen din mere liye vrat rakho...meri lambi umar ke liye"
"Mere liye itni bhakti kaafi hai...agar isse zyada bhakti ki to bhagwaan bhi confuse ho jayenge ki ye RK hi hai ya koi aur...mere liye packup"
"Sassurji apne damad ko ashirwaad dijiye na lambi umar ka...ya apni beti ko de dijiye sada saubhagyawati rehne ka"
"Bittuji advance mein Happy Diwali...apna khayal rakhiyega byee"
"Tumhari saari ne mujhe pagal bana diya hai...warna insaan hum bhi kaam ke the"
"Maanna padega...dushmani ki to takkar ki...aur jab maine saza maangi to RK ke standard ki saza di...agar goli haath mein lag jaati ya khandho se lag kar nikal jaati to ek baar phir main aapse naraaz ho jaata...RK ki izzat rakh li aapne"
"Biwi agar tum RK ke dialogues chura ke bol rahi ho to theek se bolo... Respect do dialogs ko"
"Meri naa ka matlab aaj bhi naa hota hai"
"OUT! OUT!"
"Ishq Ka Imtihaan Hai.. Hosh Mai Kaise Le Sakta Hun?"
"Chalo na dipz, aaj hum apne pyaar ko amar karde...Mughl-e-azam types!"
"Kya hua biwi? koi Darawana sapna dekha kya?...sapne mein main aaya tha kya?"
"ye bed dekha hai kitna bada hai...is bed par itni jagah hai ki hum dono ke beech ek choti car park ho jaaye, agar tum phail kar na so toh"
"Mere muskurane ki do wajah hai...wajah nmbr 1 - main muskurata hua bahut aacha dikhta hun...aur wajah nmbr 2 - ab tumse koi bhi baat manwana kitna aasaan ho gaya hai...warna wo pehle wali Madhubala ufff...uski to baat hi kuch aur thi"
"Maine kabhi sapne mein bhi nahi socha tha ki koi ladki mujhse yeh kahegi"
"Abhi Naa Jaaoo Chod Kar, Ki Dil Abhi Bhara Nahin"
"Maana ki RK ki zindagi thodi filmy hai...lekin uski har baat dialog nahi hota"
"Yeh sharab jise tum mera ghamand samajhti ho mere liye ek raat se dusre din tak jaane ka jaariya hain"
"ahh!...jubaan kat gayi...Baddua di ya kaala jaadu janti ho?"
"Mujhe patti karne do BIWI..,agar infection ho gaya to mujhe apne favourite khilone ka per kaatna padega"
"Mazaak ka toh nahin pata par Maza bohat aata hai"
"Rk free mein acting nahi karta"
"Khilona ho tum mera...aur main apne khilone ko tut te hue kaise dhekh sakta hoon Biwi?"
"Ab humein Superwomen Madhubala bachayegi...Biwi mujh par ek ehsaan karo, aur hume yaha se bahar nikalwa do...mujhe bacha lo"
"Haan to barish mein pighal nahi jaoge tum"
"Shaadi se pehle kyun nahin bataya ki aadhi raat ko tumhein Pagalpan ke daure padte hai"
"Tum apne kapde khud badlogi ya main badlu?"
"Biwi tumare paas 2 options hai...option 1. chup chap dawai le lo...option 2. chup chap dawai le lo"
"TICK TOCK, TICK TOCK"
"Bittuji aapki bohot yaad aayegi"
"Kyonki us aadmi ko ye nahi pata tha ki ye samaan chor baat-bete ke kabadi ki dukaan supply karti hai"
"Kyunki picture abhi baaki hai mere dushman..."
"Lady Bheem"
"Kabhi khushi, Kabhi gham"
"RK mansion koi refugee camp nahi ki koi bhi muh utha ke chala aaye"
"Na kisi ki dua hume kabool na kisi ki baddua manzoor. Hum apni marzi se jeete hai aur apni ada se marenge"
"Sher aur sherni ki ladayi mein kutte refree nahi hote"
"Jis ladki ki kamar par RK ka haath hota hai uske chehre par noor aur hoto par muskurahat apne aap aa jaati hai...smile karo na Biwi"
"Hamare desh ka kanoon mujhe ye haq deta hai ki agar meri biwi kapde change nahi kar pa rahi hai toh main uski help karun"
"Pack Up!"
"Kuch zakhm wo hote hai jo duniya deti hai aur kuch wo jinhe tum apna bhagwan kehti ho"
"Magar kuch zakhm aise hote hai jisse dil ke kareeb rakho toh woh nasoor ban jaate hai aisa hi ek zakham mere dil ke kareeb hai"
"Sasuma...maine toh aapko Nirupa Roy samjha par aap toh Lalita Pawar nikli"
"RK kabhi kisi k peechhe nahi chalta.."
"Suhaag Raat ka GIFT To Banta Hai.. Kissi Ne badi Mohabbat Se Ye Tohfa Bheja Tha, Aur Maine Badi Shiddat se Inhe Sanjog Kar Rakha...Aur Aaj Mai Ye Tumhe Sop Raha Hun"
"Geele Hont Tere... lo Biwi.. Tum bi apne hoth geele kar lo.. Bure ki aadat daal lo...Sher ke saath agar rahogi toh peene ko dudh aur khane ko ghaas thodi milega.."
"Bittu G Shaadi Sampann...Vidaai Sampann...What NEXT?.. ab grehpravesh.. banta hai CORRECT...sahi kaha na Bittu G Ne...BIWI..RK - The Superstar ke ghar mein Greh Pravesh,
EXCITED??"
"Ye Nafrat nahi aasaan...Ek Aag ka dariya hai...Aur doob ke jaaana hai"
"Jitna bhi mila, kaafi mila...Par neeyat nahi bhari, Ab bhi use aur tabaah karne ki Khwaaish Dil me liye hoon"
"Chalka Chalka Re...Kalas Ka Paani..."
"Iss baar thank you badi mushkil se nikla par aanewale dinno mein, i bet aasaani se nikhlega"
"Aap andhere mai thi.. Hum gujar rahe thay... Socha aapki zindagi mai thodi roshni daal de.."
"Har ande ki kismat mein murgi banna nahi hota..Kuch omlette bhi bante hai"
"Iss naacheez ko Rishabh Kundra kehte hai"
"To aao Bhagwan-Bhagwan khele"
"Jab Zindagi Mein Mohabbat Ya Nafrat Saare Intehaan Paar Kar De Toh Pagalpan Ban Jaati Hai.. Mohabbat Toh Tumse Kabhi Ki Nahi.. Par Toot Ke Nafrat Karne Par Tumne Majboor Kar diya."
"Prayschit?? Wat shit? I like it, Infact ,I like her, Madhubala Ahaan?!"
"Chaar din, RK ko RK se chin ne k liye..char din, Rk ko bebas karne k liye...inn char dino ki keemat tum apne zindagi k agle chalis saalon tak chukaogi.. aur ye kimat tumhe bohot mehangi padegi..MA DHU- BALA.. .ANHAN!!"
"Kisine itni shiddat aur mohabbat se hume yahan bheja hai... Ab toh iss saja mein bhi maja hai...Madhu-ba-la.."
"Heroine banna hai??..main banata hun tujhe heroine.."
"Khoon ke do ghut jo humne aaj piye hai, wahi hamara lunch aur dinner hain"
"Sher Kabhi Sher ka Shikaar Nahi Karta...Basharte Apne Aap ko Sher Kehne waala ..Waakai mein Sher Ho"
"Hume jeene ka aur koi tareeka nai aata. Jokhim nahi uthaya toh kya khaak jeeye"
"Itne Fans hai yaha fir bhi garmi hai. Yeh mausam ki garmi nahi...wardi ki garmi hai. Good...I like it."
"Tum Filmo mein try kyun nehi karti?... Mere saath mere opposite...THE Rishabh Kundra ke opposite...aur Film ka naam hoga Ek Gunehgaar Ek Gawah"
"Humne aapke dil mein rehne se inkaar kya kar diya, aapne humein jail mein band karwa diya...Aapse na sahi, par hume aapki iss mohabbat se mohabbat hai..mohabbat hai"
"Ek din inhi haathon se us madhubala ko yeh chudiyan pehnayenge"
"Yeh documentary channel band karo aur news channel shuru karo"
"Main insaan ka auda nahi, Aukat dekh kar baat karta hun."
"Dekhna Bittu G, apni tooti huye taango ke saath wo langrata hua ayega aur bolega itne paiso mein to aap meri dono taange todd dijiye"
"Sweetheart agar RK se pyaar karna hai to tumhe Galib ko follow karna hoga... Aag ka dariyaa hai, doob ke jaana hai. Aur us kinaare main tumhaara intezaar kar raha hoon"
"Kaal kare so aaj kar, Aaj kare so ab...Duriyaan mit jayegi pal mein, koshish karega jab"
"Ye chillar baazi Bittu G ke saath karna...RK to aaj kal mein Chand ki boli lagane wala hai"
"Ek ladki?...ladkiya tumhaari baat kyun sunegi pradhan? dekho apne aap ko..*patting pradhaan's belly*..thol nikalta hai...ek imaandar police officer ka kabhi itna bada pet nahi hota. Woh fit hote hai. Lagta hai aajkal tum bhookh se jyada kha rahe ho"
"Bittu ji, bujho toh jaane. Aisi kaunsi cheez hai jo RK nahi khareed sakta? (Bittuji - "Sir, aisi koi cheez hai hi nahi.")...Wrong Bittuji. Khud RK."
"Industry mein barbaad karne ke liye bohot log hain...RK ke kutte ke saath bhi kaam karoge toh aabaad ho jaoge"
"Shooting ka pani thanda kyu tha? Room temp ki baarish karao...agla shot tabhi hoga."
"Chaar din? Itna sabra Dilawar mein kaha Jailor sahab. Woh toh bas apko yaha aadaab kehne aaya tha...aur bas."
"Jailor tum pinjare mein band parinde ko udne ki chunauti de rahe ho...Pinjare mein band sher ko toh chuha bhi angootha dikha deta hai. Pinjra kholo, fir aanka jaaye ki tumhare daawe mein kitna dum hai aur hamari jurrat mein kitna zor."
"Tuhi mera Ishq ho, Tumhi mera Junoon...Cut cut cut!!!"
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