Posted: 03 November 2012 at 7:12pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Shinya
Originally posted by mocking_bird
There is a resentment among some friends that Shiv did not take Anandi into confidence before calling it off. In a sense ,it is true. More so, because he had given her a word that he will stand by her.
But,somehow, I do not find anything to point a finger at Shiv.
Frankly, Shiv was never confident of Anandi's feelings towards him. In any relationship, it takes both the partners to be involved and give their best. From Anandi's side,this effort was lacking and it was very obvious. I remember a scene,most probably after the engagement, where in Shiv says,"Appka jivan nehi uska ek hissa to ban paunga".he was always hesitant to express his feelings towards her,not that he was afraid of the reaction,but,he was more worried about the non-reaction. In the payal scene it was quite obvious that he was expecting her to say something to him after his declaration of love and it did not come except a dry statement"payal bahat sunder hai". Payal was a pretext,it was not and should not have been the focal point. The focal point was something else. Anandi is intelligent enough to understand that but,she chose to ignore it.
The man can go this further and when he heard jagya out with his immense patience, it was a natural conclusion that Anandi is better off without me and she need not carry this burden of keeping promise given to people who are no longer there.
Anandi never really progressed beyond her stated stand of honouring her promise given to her mother. She could have said to him,while keeping the promise intact, she has found out that he was the man with whom she would like to spend her life. That for her now shiv comes first,next is the promise and not the other way round.
Since that acceptance never came,it was only natural for Shiv to conclude the way he did.
In every relationship,a sense of security and desire to be together need be there and this has to be reinforced time and again.
From Anandi's side this was seriously lacking and therefore I wont find fault with shiv's stand. I will stand by him because he hid the real reason to save the nautanki family from further embarrassment(wonder if at all they are embarrassed).
I agree with you that shiv was never confident about her love. When jagya said to him that she only respects you but loves me, he quite reasonably believed it. It also hurt him that dadisa whom he held in high respect and whom he trusted was the one who actually betrayed him. He took out that shawl gifted by her and looked at it in despair... wondering is it the same dadisa?
He also remembered the few good moments spent with anandi... and finally he decided to call it quits. I dont blame him at all.
But do you think he was really serious about calling off the marriage? If he was, wouldn't a mature man like him do it in a neat and polite manner? Why would he behave like an indecisive child? And then as the news is going around, why would he accept dadisa's apology?
He was apparently upset about the 'jagya drama'. Taking such a big decision, without even consulting any family member, when one is upset is totally immature and childish. He just needs a little bit of reassurance from Singhs which he is going to get next week with dadisa apologising and anandi giving long bhashan probably..
But I do feel that his character too is made to look stupid.
When CVs introduced him, he was a strict disciplinarian, kind of khadoos. Then they made him act like a teenager shy and blushing. And now childish acting at the spur of a moment?
What you say is true to a large extent. What he should have done and did not do,are things we need to look into. Remember,when he decided to marry Anandi ,he had not consulted his family. That was an equally serious decision.
Yet,that had a ring of truth. Here he was obviously telling lie to save people,especially the Singhs from embarrassment. He knows spilling the real reason will spoil the situation further.Since he is not a good liar,he wants to get over with it as quickly as possible and not prolong the drama.
Consulting family would not have helped him,as they hardly know Jagya and Anandi's relationship. But,the family knows that the son is back and staying in the same family where Anandi is also there. So what will the Shekhars conclude? Do not you think the reasons are obvious,who wants whom with whom?
I blame Anandi for all these,because,if she would have shared the reasons leading to the separation,her experience with Jagya when she went to Mumbai and how he changed,his marriage with Gauri and their stay at haveli,everything that ultimately led to the divorce,then Shiv would have stopped and pondered over Jagya's claim that they are still in love.
If she would have made him feel that Shiv counts to her as much as she counts to him,things would not have come to such a pass'e. If not the family,I think,Shiv would have at least told her that Jagya has said all these to him if she would have given an inkling of an idea that Shiv means a lot to her now.
She never did that.
I will tell you one thing, I always felt that Anandi loved the way Shiv showered love on her. She felt as if it is her right to be loved like that and her right to treat Shiv the way she did. I may sound harsh,but,that is the way it came across to me. More than Shiv,it was Anandi who looks childish to me today.