Should pasts be shared between couples (Page 3)

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Freethinker112

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Posted: 01 November 2012 at 10:35pm | IP Logged

I believe in honesty between couples. Actually, this is a thing that every couple needs to decide for themselves, exactly how much would they like to divulge. I support openness. My past is a part of me, what I am today has been shaped from my past. It's a great part of my identity. So, I would not like to hide it. Things may come to light one day, and the mental anxiety of truth coming out is not worth it. I am what I am, and if the other person can't accept me for that, we are bound to have problems later on. So, it's better to start with everything in the light, so there is no chance of things coming out later and creating problems. I would like that the other person not hide anything, and I would like to give the same intellectual regard to her too.

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epiphany.

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Posted: 02 November 2012 at 8:50am | IP Logged

Some people dun hold with sharing. They prefer establishing a silent treaty with you, wherein you discuss heart-to-heart as less as possible. That's one reason why somebody's significant other is reluctant to give or take anything about each other's pasts. And they could be like this for a variety of reasons.

BirdieNumNum

Senior Member

Joined: 07 October 2012

Posts: 542

Posted: 06 November 2012 at 11:28am | IP Logged

if you want to end up as the past, then sure. Share your past. LOL

ok, here's another-

be the past that you want to share. LOL

tulipbaby53

IF-Stunnerz

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Posted: 07 November 2012 at 3:22pm | IP Logged

I believe in openness and honesty between couples. If I cannot be honest with him, then I should not be with him. The same goes for the reverse. If there is something you are hiding because you are afraid it will cause the other person to break up with you, think about if the other person found out from someone other than you what would happen.

Let's say the guy I'm engaged to got extremely drunk and woke up the next day next to another woman. He hides it from me because he thinks I will call off the engagement. I find out from one of his friends. I would me more angry and devastated that he didn't tell me himself rather than him sleeping with someone else. If he had told me he had gotten drunk and woke up next to someone else, I would be upset, but I would have forgiven him. It's hard to be honest about something like that, but it would show to me that he values us and my trust.

If you truly love and value someone, you will tell them the truth because no matter how painful the truth is, a lie from someone you love so much hurts the most. Even hiding the truth is lying, and it shows you do not trust that person completely.

-Aarya-

Goldie

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Posted: 07 November 2012 at 6:06pm | IP Logged

Majority of the comments in this thread starts with "I believe..." and now I wonder if everyone's beliefs are ideal or they are really telling the reality of their relationship with their partner...

How many people here have really shared their "bad" past with their partner?
It is said that the truth shall set you free...

Edited by -Aarya- - 07 November 2012 at 6:06pm

Freethinker112

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Joined: 16 May 2012

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Posted: 07 November 2012 at 7:09pm | IP Logged

Originally posted by -Aarya-

Majority of the comments in this thread starts with "I believe..." and now I wonder if everyone's beliefs are ideal or they are really telling the reality of their relationship with their partner...

How many people here have really shared their "bad" past with their partner?
It is said that the truth shall set you free...

I have never been in a relationship, so yeah I can't say for sure now. But I am positive that I will follow what I think to be right.

Edited by Freethinker112 - 07 November 2012 at 7:08pm

return_to_hades

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Posted: 07 November 2012 at 9:15pm | IP Logged

Because this is a subjective topic. There cannot be "I know" or "People believe" in such topics.

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Dostum

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Posted: 07 November 2012 at 9:29pm | IP Logged

Not many people can handle a past which is really really destructive when it comes to certain consequences of a partners sexuality. Sometimes even if they are quite liberal in the world outside, inside they would want to preserve a little conservative tree in them.

Its not bad, but how do you know the man or woman saying "I ma not interested in your past" is not actually trying to avoid it or hide away from it, fearing that it might eventually deny them of having a lovely relationship - because they know they would not be able to handle.

However, a relationship, e.g. marriage, is a highly sensitive matter. Things do come up now and then ... how will the guy or gal who once wanted to erase any prospect of the past will come to face it if they have to sometime in the future.

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Should pasts be shared between couples (Page 3)

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Posted: 01 November 2012 at 10:35pm | IP Logged

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