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Why do men think about SEX all the time? (Page 4)

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The_Other_Woman

IF-Sizzlerz

The_Other_Woman

Joined: 15 January 2008

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Posted: 04 November 2012 at 6:23pm | IP Logged
Now it is so scary.
Does that mean when I am talking to man say my classmate or colleague he is mentally stripping me?
When making love do the husband even care about the wife's emotion or just concentrate on her body?
The sexual relationship thing is indeed hell scary for women.


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joie de vivre

Goldie

joie de vivre

Joined: 18 January 2007

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Posted: 04 November 2012 at 7:39pm | IP Logged
^I know right. Especially if one has never quite been sexually adventurous before - such as myself - the very prospect of manoeuvring through relationships seems bloody scary as hell. How on earth does one build trust etc with a man if you think he's primarily into you for the sex? It's especially harder to wrap your mind round these mores when one comes from a conservative background where sex is something people have after getting married. Sometimes, makes me glad I'm single, and even more determined to remain so for however long I possibly can (which can be forever, if I so wish). 

Then again, like female sexuality, male sexuality is something which is often discussed by bruiting about stereotypes. Women DO think about sex, some women probably think about sex with every fit male they clap their eyes on, some fantasise about sex with acquaintances or friends or potential boyfriends, some only think about having sex in committed relationships and some after marriage. There's no one pigeonhole into which billions of people can be shoved into simply owing to their gender.  If anything, such stereotypes make it harder for those who don't fit the description to navigate through the minefield of relationships. 

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MisheThe_Other_Woman

Freethinker112

IF-Sizzlerz

Freethinker112

Joined: 16 May 2012

Posts: 13810

Posted: 04 November 2012 at 10:09pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by *Woh Ajnabee*


At least you're honest. LOL I like this post.

What about a guy who's in a committed relationship though? Is it also natural that he cannot "help" the fact that he's checking out other girls, imagining them naked, etc.? Should that be considered evolution or lack of commitment? Of course I'm not saying girls in committed relationships don't look at other guys, but to the point that you start fantasizing about someone other than your partner, isn't that crossing the line somewhere?

Thanks! LOL

I have never been in a relationship, so I cannot say for a fact. But I would answer them as to what i think it might be. Yes, he would want or have desire to fantasize. I have never been in love so I can't say whether it can override the desire, but I doubt it because as I said before, desires can sometimes be separate from emotions. So, he will have the desire to do so, and yeah that is evolution. Now, many would not fantasize, they would try to get over the desire. But many can fail. And ye,s it can cause some great guilt. There have been many times when I have thought about girls "that way" that I did not want too and it made me feel bad as if I am an animal. So, I could stop myself from fantasizing later, but sometimes when they are in front of you, your mind can wander.

About the morality, I would let you or others decide what they are okay with themselves. I would just say that desire will still be there. Some can override, some will give in. But my personal take is that please don't punish for thoughts, because I understand how they can dominate you. If the person controls himself and does not acts on those thoughts, I think he should be forgiven. It is not easy for him too. Smile

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SmritiKathaSamraat_92

peridot.

Senior Member

peridot.

Joined: 28 February 2009

Posts: 659

Posted: 04 November 2012 at 10:23pm | IP Logged

Do the females fantasising get fogiven or are only males allowed to indulge and later forgiven for such involuntary thoughts

Freethinker112

IF-Sizzlerz

Freethinker112

Joined: 16 May 2012

Posts: 13810

Posted: 04 November 2012 at 10:33pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by *Woh Ajnabee*


I think attraction is involuntary. How can fantasizing be involuntary? Okay, fine, say it's involuntary the first time, what about the second time? If he thinks about a woman he saw a few days ago? Does that then cross over the boundaries of involuntary thoughts?

I agree that trust and respect are significant in any relationship, but I am just curious what the guys here think. Most guys probably don't consider fantasizing as anything out of the ordinary. But how would they feel if their girlfriends/wives were fantasizing about other men? Is that acceptable because that could also be involuntary?

See, as I said in my previous post, I don't know what the situation in love would be. I would be okay with fantasizing, as long as she doesn't indulge in it, unless it involves me. Evil Smile

I have seen this comparison many times and I think this is the one that is the closest description. You can see many variety of food but can only eat one thing for your whole life.  It is not meant to demean women. I just say that just so you can understand the basic feeling behind it. Now when you can't eat, can you remember what it tasted like or is that wrong? Men will want to have sex with many women if possible. For example, if suddenly everyone was okay with multiple sexual partners, men would do it. But we can control the desire if the person we care about doesn't like it. But thoughts come some times. i personally think, I will avoid fantasizing when in a relationship as I will personally feel it is wrong and I am disrespecting her but I can't say that for sure unless I have been in a relationship.

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ANNMT.Samraat_92

Freethinker112

IF-Sizzlerz

Freethinker112

Joined: 16 May 2012

Posts: 13810

Posted: 04 November 2012 at 10:39pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by ItIsMyLife

Now it is so scary.
Does that mean when I am talking to man say my classmate or colleague he is mentally stripping me?
When making love do the husband even care about the wife's emotion or just concentrate on her body?
The sexual relationship thing is indeed hell scary for women.


So, you are saying you are beautiful? Wink LOL

I used that term because attraction is a personal taste, and everybody likes different things. But if you are very pretty, i.e. if everyone considers you attractive, yes nearly every man that you met would have thought of having sex with you. It does not have to be so scary, as it can be separate from emotions, you see. I mean he can sometimes fantasize about you but that does not mean he is always thinking about it when he is with you. It's like it is a different part separate from emotions. Arrgh, it is difficult to explain. But yeah, no need to be scared so much. 

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Samraat_92

Freethinker112

IF-Sizzlerz

Freethinker112

Joined: 16 May 2012

Posts: 13810

Posted: 04 November 2012 at 10:40pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by _twilight_

Do the females fantasising get fogiven or are only males allowed to indulge and later forgiven for such involuntary thoughts


I have no problems with fantasies. But you should not indulge them if the other party is not willing, as it is illegal. And if you are voluntarily in a committed relationship, you should not act on it even if the person in your fantasies is willing.

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Samraat_92

Freethinker112

IF-Sizzlerz

Freethinker112

Joined: 16 May 2012

Posts: 13810

Posted: 04 November 2012 at 10:46pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by joie de vivre

^I know right. Especially if one has never quite been sexually adventurous before - such as myself - the very prospect of manoeuvring through relationships seems bloody scary as hell. How on earth does one build trust etc with a man if you think he's primarily into you for the sex? It's especially harder to wrap your mind round these mores when one comes from a conservative background where sex is something people have after getting married. Sometimes, makes me glad I'm single, and even more determined to remain so for however long I possibly can (which can be forever, if I so wish). 

Then again, like female sexuality, male sexuality is something which is often discussed by bruiting about stereotypes. Women DO think about sex, some women probably think about sex with every fit male they clap their eyes on, some fantasise about sex with acquaintances or friends or potential boyfriends, some only think about having sex in committed relationships and some after marriage. There's no one pigeonhole into which billions of people can be shoved into simply owing to their gender.  If anything, such stereotypes make it harder for those who don't fit the description to navigate through the minefield of relationships. 

That's no exclusivity to men, building relationships or false premises that is. Women can develop relationship for money. Just like not all girls are money wh**es, not all boys are out there for sex. We are capable of love also, and any decent man will go into relationship for love not sex. But yeah, I won't act as if it is all good. There are many men out there who will act the way you would like to have sex. It's a bad world and there are bad people. I am telling you I would not do such thing, but a bad person would do the same and you can never be 100% sure. So, the only practical advice I can give you is this. If the man can't control his desires, he is not worth having. If you are not comfortable in sex before marriage, a decent partner will not force you. You need to get away if he forces. And the tricks of blackmailing, the talk about proving love by having sex is just bullshit. Please, never fall for that. If a guy loves you, he can prove that by respecting your judgement. At least, I can not do forcing. Unless she is ready, I can wait.

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ANNMT.Samraat_92

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