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Why do men think about SEX all the time? (Page 14)

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Freethinker112

IF-Sizzlerz

Freethinker112

Joined: 16 May 2012

Posts: 13810

Posted: 25 February 2013 at 12:53pm | IP Logged
^What myth are you talking about?

Where do you get the gloating feeling from? We desire women, but since women are not a thing that you can own, we respect their wishes too. We move on. Nobody is asking for praises.

Are women replacement for blow up dolls? No. Nobody is talking about that. We think, imagine, do work, feel, rationalize, etc. Sex is a part of life. It's more like a white noise, if you will.




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-Purva-

IF-Dazzler

-Purva-

Joined: 16 December 2010

Posts: 4573

Posted: 25 February 2013 at 1:19pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Freethinker112

^What myth are you talking about?

Where do you get the gloating feeling from? Nobody is asking for praises.



Your words not mine :)

Originally posted by Freethinker112

Controlling the desires and behaving in rational way is a thing that deserves respect.


All I'm saying is that controlling a sexual urge is no more praiseworthy than controlling the urge to wet your pants. No really, it is not.

Originally posted by Freethinker112

We desire women, but since women are not a thing that you can own, we respect their wishes too.We move on.


Do you want to rephrase that? You mean to say that if you could own women - like men in Middle-East or from one of the KHAP Panchayats - you would not respect them? But wait a minute that's exactly how they behave. In effect are you really saying that you respect women not because they deserve to be respected but because your social situation stops you from treating them as possessions and chattels. Rethink your position.

Originally posted by Freethinker112

Are women replacement for blow up dolls? No. Nobody is talking about that. We think, imagine, do work, feel, rationalize, etc. Sex is a part of life. It's more like a white noise, if you will.


Nope women are not replacements for blow-up dolls, because women are not hiding behind stuff like "we can't help but think of sex". Women are asserting themselves as rational, emotionally-stable, physically, mentally, psychologically strong gender.

In the meantime men are hiding behind "we can't help but think of sex", "if a girl is good-looking every male she knows would have imagined her naked" (again your words in an earlier post in this very thread). Seriously it is men who are behind the myths that men are slightly better than animals or that the only thing they can be good at is a bedroom performance - because that is what they claim they are thinking of most of the time, or rather every time a girl walks by.


And frankly I don't get the gloating feeling when I see how most men would really put themselves down so blithely and feel good about it. There are some excellent men I know - including my father, my uncles, my profs and quite a few friends and colleagues. Uniformly all of them would feel offended by the statement "men can't help but think of sex" - they would find it downright insulting to themselves; and so do I on their behalf.

Please stop defending a false statement and stop using platitudes to justify animalistic behavior - it doesn't go down well, not with your record on IF.

reeha...k

IF-Rockerz

reeha...k

Joined: 05 September 2006

Posts: 7569

Posted: 25 February 2013 at 1:24pm | IP Logged
It's not just men. People in general THINK about sex all the time; It's dependent on the individual on how vocal they are about it. Perhaps females are less vocal?

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

kavyasam

-Purva-

IF-Dazzler

-Purva-

Joined: 16 December 2010

Posts: 4573

Posted: 25 February 2013 at 1:37pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by reeha...k

It's not just men. People in general THINK about sex all the time; It's dependent on the individual on how vocal they are about it. Perhaps females are less vocal?


Are you freaking kidding me - about females being less vocal - and you on IF since when? What is all the mania about - Sobti/Rajputs/Rahejas/D'Sena/GCs and what not all about except that numerous girls/women see a reflection of ideal mate in these toyboys? For that matter why is Ashish Kapor in your DP if you are not besotted with the guy?


Yes members of both genders think about sex - in as much as both feel equally hungry/thirsty/tired/sleepy - it is a normal part of the day and biological cycle. Thinking about sex is really not the problem. My issue is that one gender uses idea to explain away every failing and simple bad upbringing.

Yep - if nobody taught a child to wash the hands after wiping the ass - it reflects bad upbringing, so does the behavior around opposite gender. Inability to control it is a reflection that no one taught the person how to conduct himself in society.

Freethinker112

IF-Sizzlerz

Freethinker112

Joined: 16 May 2012

Posts: 13810

Posted: 25 February 2013 at 1:43pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by -Purva-

All I'm saying is that controlling a sexual urge is no more praiseworthy than controlling the urge to wet your pants. No really, it is not.

I didn't mean respect as in you gotta praise them daily. It just meant basic human regard, that separates us from the animals that we don't always act on our instincts.

Originally posted by -Purva-

Do you want to rephrase that? You mean to say that if you could own women - like men in Middle-East or from one of the KHAP Panchayats - you would not respect them? But wait a minute that's exactly how they behave. In effect are you really saying that you respect women not because they deserve to be respected but because your social situation stops you from treating them as possessions and chattels. Rethink your position.

No, no, no, definitely not. Shocked I might have worded that poorly. What I meant was that people cannot, should not be owned. They are not things. They are independent beings. So, you cannot just desire them and get them. I hope I was clear this time.


Originally posted by -Purva-

Nope women are not replacements for blow-up dolls, because women are not hiding behind stuff like "we can't help but think of sex". Women are asserting themselves as rational, emotionally-stable, physically, mentally, psychologically strong gender. 

Nobody is hiding behind anything. Men are rational, emotionally-stable, physically, mentally strong. Actually that depends on individual, we shouldn't generalize for a whole sex. Individual of both sexes may or may not be above things.

Originally posted by -Purva-

In the meantime men are hiding behind "we can't help but think of sex", "if a girl is good-looking every male she knows would have imagined her naked" (again your words in an earlier post in this very thread). Seriously it is men who are behind the myths that men are slightly better than animals or that the only thing they can be good at is a bedroom performance - because that is what they claim they are thinking of most of the time, or rather every time a girl walks by.

Again, who is hiding behind what? Yes, those are my words and I stand by them. Humans are better than animals in most things. I never said they can be only good at bedroom performance. Not about every girl, and it depends on what you are doing. Sometimes you are too focused to notice anything.

Originally posted by -Purva-

And frankly I don't get the gloating feeling when I see how most men would really put themselves down so blithely and feel good about it. There are some excellent men I know - including my father, my uncles, my profs and quite a few friends and colleagues. Uniformly all of them would feel offended by the statement "men can't help but think of sex" - they would find it downright insulting to themselves; and so do I on their behalf. 

Please stop defending a false statement and stop using platitudes to justify animalistic behavior - it doesn't go down well, not with your record on IF.

Nobody is gloating about anything. This isn't putting men down, it is a natural instinct.

You think I didn't know how controversial my reply can get? But I think enough is enough. Denial and repression may seem to make us feel more "civilized" in the short term but actually attains nothing. It's a natural feeling, I am not ashamed of it. This very awkwardness is why most of the men won't talk this thing with women. I doubt any man would say this face to face to some female. But that's how we are and we know it. But we know we are better than animals, so we just go on in our life behaving as humans.

You think fantasizing about someone is animalistic?

-Purva-

IF-Dazzler

-Purva-

Joined: 16 December 2010

Posts: 4573

Posted: 25 February 2013 at 1:45pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by TheTruth

I believe we are wired that way, naturally.  "Always" is a hyperbole, though.
Nothing wrong at all. Now, if a man is thinking about having sex with a man, I would run from that man... just saying.


That is the same thought process operating with women when they come across men "who are wired that way" - like you would run away from a man who is thinking of sex with a man, women would run away from men who are thinking of sex most of the time "not Always".

It really is a self-defeating process - the more you think about it, the more bad vibes you give. The more bad vibes you give, fewer the number of women who interact with you. Fewer the women around you, the more desperate you are. The more desperate you are the more you think about it.

Want to get out of that rut - stop thinking about it, give it no more thought than you would to what you would have for lunch.

Try and realize that "men are NOT wired that way". Men are really something more than just one organ. Give it no more thought than you would give to the last toenail on your left foot.

-Purva-

IF-Dazzler

-Purva-

Joined: 16 December 2010

Posts: 4573

Posted: 25 February 2013 at 2:11pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Freethinker112

Nobody is gloating about anything. This isn't putting men down, it is a natural instinct.

You think I didn't know how controversial my reply can get? But I think enough is enough. Denial and repression may seem to make us feel more "civilized" in the short term but actually attains nothing. It's a natural feeling, I am not ashamed of it. This very awkwardness is why most of the men won't talk this thing with women. I doubt any man would say this face to face to some female. But that's how we are and we know it. But we know we are better than animals, so we just go on in our life behaving as humans.

You think fantasizing about someone is animalistic?


Basically we both agree that homo sapiens as a species are slightly above other mammals and animals capable of thought - in that that homo sapiens can control their physical urges.

Civilization really is all about how well one controls physical urges and learns to co-exist. When we see a piece of bread - the urge might be snatch it up and gobble it down when one is feeling particularly hungry, but civilized behavior would be to share it with others who are equally hungry. Or my favorite example - the urge to go to the loo - civilized behavior dictates that one go to a restroom to relieve oneself instead of on the roads or in someone's living room -  irrespective of how strong the urge is.

Same goes for sexual feelings - if we are to be better than dogs we need to behave accordingly. Now why do I use the Dog analogy - I used to have a dog whom I used to walk every evening. On our way we had to cross the car-parking of the building. Now this fellow had the habit of marking every car it passed by peeing on at least one tyre. Irrespective of whether it needed to relieve itself or not, it would lift up a leg as soon as it approached the next car. Now every time someone says that "men can't help but think of sex every time a good looking girl passes by" I'm reminded of my dog. And I feel sorry that being a man would use that sentence.

Where feeling uncomfortable in discussing this issue with women is concerned - it really has nothing to do with "women won't understand" - it's got more to do with "men can't explain". Men have this tendency of turning everything they can't handle into a joke - which is why you have gay jokes, MIL jokes, women jokes, priest jokes, boss jokes et al. What cannot be handled is easier converted into an object of ridicule by being converted into a butt for joke.

Fact is men have had things easy for centuries and now when they are being questioned about age-old notions, they find it difficult to get down to brass tacks and have a rational explanation for something that has been socially drubbed into them. Capability to rationalize comes after a certain emotional and mental maturity is attained, social indoctrination begins at an early age.

There really is no such thing as men are like this or women are like that - it is only a question of accepting or questioning your social roles vis-a-vis what your rational mind tells your behavior ought to be.



-Purva-

IF-Dazzler

-Purva-

Joined: 16 December 2010

Posts: 4573

Posted: 25 February 2013 at 2:23pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by TheTruth

There is a perfect world and then there is a real world.

Different genders are wired differently. That's just the way it is. I can flip every point of yours and ask you a counter question. Example - Give sex no more thought than you would give to the last toenail on your left foot and just enjoy. Would you?


LOL how old are you 13 or is it 14? You haven't really understood what the discussion is all about and laudable though your attempt is to appear witty - you really are bearing out my argument that the male of the species is really not above the pet pooch.

I'm actually trying to argue for YOUR Gender that men are above animals and can have thoughts in their head other than sex - but you really do want to prove to the world that  all YOUR gender is capable of is limited to the bedroom.

Do NOT question me about what my bedroom expectations are, rather get out of there yourself and start using the head above the shoulders.
The reason it is placed above is that it was intended to be used first and foremost, not as a last resort.

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