Originally posted by joie de vivre
^I know right. Especially if one has never quite been sexually adventurous before - such as myself - the very prospect of manoeuvring through relationships seems bloody scary as hell. How on earth does one build trust etc with a man if you think he's primarily into you for the sex? It's especially harder to wrap your mind round these mores when one comes from a conservative background where sex is something people have after getting married. Sometimes, makes me glad I'm single, and even more determined to remain so for however long I possibly can (which can be forever, if I so wish).
Then again, like female sexuality, male sexuality is something which is often discussed by bruiting about stereotypes. Women DO think about sex, some women probably think about sex with every fit male they clap their eyes on, some fantasise about sex with acquaintances or friends or potential boyfriends, some only think about having sex in committed relationships and some after marriage. There's no one pigeonhole into which billions of people can be shoved into simply owing to their gender. If anything, such stereotypes make it harder for those who don't fit the description to navigate through the minefield of relationships.
That's no exclusivity to men, building relationships or false premises that is. Women can develop relationship for money. Just like not all girls are money wh**es, not all boys are out there for sex. We are capable of love also, and any decent man will go into relationship for love not sex. But yeah, I won't act as if it is all good. There are many men out there who will act the way you would like to have sex. It's a bad world and there are bad people. I am telling you I would not do such thing, but a bad person would do the same and you can never be 100% sure. So, the only practical advice I can give you is this. If the man can't control his desires, he is not worth having. If you are not comfortable in sex before marriage, a decent partner will not force you. You need to get away if he forces. And the tricks of blackmailing, the talk about proving love by having sex is just bullshit. Please, never fall for that. If a guy loves you, he can prove that by respecting your judgement. At least, I can not do forcing. Unless she is ready, I can wait.