desi girls dating in high school

Ok here's the thing, i am in high school there are tons of desi girls there and um i know that none of their parents want them dating, or hanging out with boys. Most of them date, because they dont see anything wrong with it, and hide it from their parents. My question is that is it okay to date, even though ur parents dont want u to, because u think that they r being overly conservative and irrational. Most of them dont want their daughters to have friends who are guys, so is it okay to hide things from them such as dating or friends because u dont think u r wrong and they r.

To clarify My question is not that is dating right or wrong, i am not even talking about the double standard that exist, i understand its not fair. this is not about the fairness of it or about the rightness of it. i am talking about what is real and that is that most desi people dont want their daughters dating or having guy friend,so is it okay for these girls to lie to their parents for their friends or boyfriends when they know that their parents dont want them to do it.

Edited by mkzara - 17 years ago

Well it depends on the situation and it's important not just for indian girls but teenagers in general to have a steady good head on their shoulders.Life and the world is not all that good as it seems.

I am bit confused what #mkzara is really wants us to understand from her/ his post. The thing which is wrong is wrong girls is schools should not date. Thats why the consequenses of such dating can be disastrous! They sud rather concentrate on their studies.
3ArialBlue

Dating is OK as long as the parents approve of it. Sneaking out behind their backs and lying about it is not only wrong, but can prove dangerous.

Suppose A told her parents that she was going to study with her friend B. But, instead, she goes out with a guy named X.

She does not return home. Parents call B. B has no clue about where A is. It just causes unnecessary tension and fear for the parents and is just dangerous for the girl.

I don't disapprove of dating as long as parents know about it and do not have problems with it.

I don't disapprove of dating , but dating certianly has its risks when you are in school.It is much safer that your parents be aware of you dating. Not every girl in her teans is sensible with a strong head on her shoulder.

Let me tell you the dangers of dating at a young age. 13 years ago , my school mate and her gang of friends went out to a night club , and after a few drinks they were returning . The guy was too drunk to be able to drive carefully and he ran his car over a divider. My friend flew out of the windshield and died instantly. While the boy survived. My friends parents were not aware that their daughter was out so late and couldn't warn her about the dangers of drunken driving.

Ofcourse my story is a tragic extreme case. There is NOTHING wrong with dating. But only with parents permission, as they can try and keep you out of harms way.

Originally posted by: Aparna_BD

I don't disapprove of dating , but dating certianly has its risks when you are in school.It is much safer that your parents be aware of you dating. Not every girl in her teans is sensible with a strong head on her shoulder.

Let me tell you the dangers of dating at a young age. 13 years ago , my school mate and her gang of friends went out to a night club , and after a few drinks they were returning . The guy was too drunk to be able to drive carefully and he ran his car over a divider. My friend flew out of the windshield and died instantly. While the boy survived. My friends parents were not aware that their daughter was out so late and couldn't warn her about the dangers of drunken driving.

Ofcourse my story is a tragic extreme case. There is NOTHING wrong with dating. But only with parents permission, as they can try and keep you out of harms way.

True, Dating is fine when you are mature. Highschool is not the right time.

 

I dont have anything against dating. I am simply conflicted about hiding it from your parents and not telling them as a lot of girls do. It is hard being a desi kid abroad as a lot of people discussed in the "abroad children and their parents" debate. Most parents dont let their kids go to prom, have bfs or do anything most teenagers do here. And most of us dont like it or mostly dont agree with it cause we think they are wrong. So is it okay if we lie to them to do something we think is not wrong,like going to prom. We know they wont understand but we also know there is nothing wrong with going to the prom. I have the worst guilty conscience so i cant do anything 😆 but i always wanted to know how people felt about it, those that did it, those that didnt do it and those that wanted to do it.

am a little confused, but i dont think they should lie. its just not right yaar. they should respect their parents and just live with what they have. i mean theres no point in dating. what if u never marry that person? u just kiss or hug them without knowing if they'll be there. its just not right in high school. after tht u grow and understand things well. 😕 😊

Originally posted by: mkzara

I dont have anything against dating. I am simply conflicted about hiding it from your parents and not telling them as a lot of girls do. It is hard being a desi kid abroad as a lot of people discussed in the "abroad children and their parents" debate. Most parents dont let their kids go to prom, have bfs or do anything most teenagers do here. And most of us dont like it or mostly dont agree with it cause we think they are wrong. So is it okay if we lie to them to do something we think is not wrong,like going to prom. We know they wont understand but we also know there is nothing wrong with going to the prom. I have the worst guilty conscience so i cant do anything 😆 but i always wanted to know how people felt about it, those that did it, those that didnt do it and those that wanted to do it.

Nothing wrong in sharing your feeling kiddo. Yes kids do hide things from their parent. my daughter in 3rd grade told me that a boy from her grade has a crush and also that she also likes a boy from smae grade..different one.😆 You should have seen the face of my hubby dear.😛

but yes i let her say everything and later at night I talked her about it nicely. So far she still shares everthing with me..i try not to get mad but reason it out . Let us see how long it works

I agree with aparna and swar_raj. Also, as aparna said, things could really go out of hand if your parents are not informed about your whereabouts. I have seen lots of girls during my college days who could fall in wrong hands and ifyou inform your parents and do when they allow you to do things its better..specially something like dating or night party and having a prom date. If you parents don't allow it's not end of the world afterall..you cry for that day and then life goes on... 😊 but sometimes small things could really be harmful. So dating without parent's knowledge is not that encouraged in high school..!!!

However, it is teenage nature to revolt, rebell and sometime break rules. I was not allowed to wear jeans in my college by my dad so instead i used to wear salwar take jeans in bagpack and change at my friends house 😉 and my mommy knew all about it 😛😳 but small things are ok but dating a guy, late nights and sneaking out of house, driving without license are really dangerous. one should better make sure they stick to parent's rule and don't break them. And high school is still and young and naive age.Edited by sowmyaa - 17 years ago