Joined: 19 June 2012
The Boy Version :
Shit. Crap. Bullshit. More crap. I am a royally screwed jackass. Something is seriously wrong with me. I think there's a hole in my lungs. Or maybe somebody shot me. Oh yeah, I remember. My girlfriend just dumped me.
What went wrong? What did I do? Did I say something wrong? Wasn't I good enough for you? I am in love with you. I can't live without you. Why do you have to do this to me?
3 months ago, I was just this normal guy, with a normal life, who had a major crush on a really good friend. I pulled up my guts, went up to her and asked her out. She said yes. Thus began the most fabulous days of my life. Nothing ever went wrong. Everything was as smooth as it could be. I was a football team captain, I had great friends…and I had the world's most beautiful girl as my girlfriend. Being with her made me feel special. I was always so full of optimism whenever I was around her. She was like my lucky charm. She held the key that opened the lock of my heart. I was always joking and smiling all the time. I could act like a ten year old baboon if that was what it took to make her smile. All I ever wanted was there in my arms. I wanted nothing more. She was the first girl I ever kissed. She is the only girl who made my heart beat so loud that it was audible miles away. When she held my hand, my fingers fit into hers perfectly. When she looked at me like, I wanted time to stand still so that we could keep staring at each other like that forever. Every time she texted, my heart skipped a beat. Every time she took a longer time to reply, time walked slower than a turtle. When she called, I could talk to her for hours if it hadn't been for those damn mobile recharge cards that got over so damn quickly! Someone told me she wasn't right for me. I didn't care. My best friends told me she was a bitch in the making. I still didn't care. They told me she would dump me eventually. I thought they were joking. I never thought there would be a day when I would be without her. My day started with her, was filled with her and ended with her.
Slowly though, she started distancing herself from me. She didn't call that often. Every talk we had ended in an awkward way. There were obvious signs of a breakdown of our relationship. But I tried to convince myself that it would be alright. It was just another phase that would eventually work itself out. I hoped desperately for a miracle. A miracle seemed far away. A disaster was all that I got. A rude awakening to my wonderful dream. I was jolted awaked from the sweet slumber of love. I came crashing down to earth and the fall really hurt. So here I am, feeling like a complete loser, hating life for all that it is, ignoring my friends because somehow I feel that it's their goddamn fault. Waiting for a sun to shine and bring some miniscule hint of light into my wasted life. Was all of this my fault?
The GIRL version:
Um. Ok? Was that a dream? Or did I just wake up from one? He said he thought I was out-dated. That I was not girlfriend material. That he was too bored with me. He just kept the phone. Should I call him back? Why didn't I say anything? Am I paralyzed? I think my heart just stopped. Tears roll down and I suddenly lose track of time. Why is it so dark? Isn't it supposed to be afternoon? Where did all the light go? Bloody hell. I have just been dumped.
This summer, 4 months ago, I went home to my relatives. I lost my grandfather to cancer and also my heart to a boy that I know is a complete son-of-a-bitch. He was a cute friend who was really nice to me. It had been 3 years since I last saw him. When I looked up to see my old friend, all I say was this movie star who had to be mine. The prince charming I had been waiting for? Yes, that was him. he said he loved me. Those three magic words felt like a crown on my head and I felt like a princess. A really lucky princess. We talked secretly for hours at a stretch (phone rates in India are fantastic!!!). We sign-talked on the terrace at night. We held hands under the moon. We talked cheesy stuff. We went to movies together. He wiped ice-cream off my lips when I ate like an infant. I blushed every time he stared at me (which was very often). I blushed harder every time he said I looked beautiful. Did he love me because I was beautiful or was I beautiful because he loved me? My life was suddenly a movie, with the perfect songs and the perfect hero and the perfect romance. It simply couldn't get better. Even though we were in a long distance relationship, it didn't make a difference. We sat for hours on the net, chatting and messaging all the time. My heart ran faster every time I read and re-read his messages. I felt anxious whenever he delayed on replying. I dressed up a lot and spent hours looking at his photo because I thought that if I stared at his photo, he would feel my love for him. I developed this new liking for hindi romantic movies and I pictured us in every song, in every book couple possible.
For the past weeks, he ignored my messages, didn't come online that often, talked really less. I thought he was probably feeling low, maybe something in his school must be upsetting him. My best friend told she sensed a break up was coming. I told her to shut up and get lost because she had no idea about love and that he loved me too much to leave me. I prayed for him to be normal again. He did get normal. In a very different kind of way. The kind of normal that tore my life apart. In a couple of minutes, my world came shattering down. My heart felt broken, and it seemed impossible to stop the tears from rolling down. Was I not good enough????
There come times in our life when we are so proud of ourselves, so glad to be who we are simply because there is this one person who makes us feel like the luckiest person on this planet, who makes the sun shine so bright. And then, one fine day everything gets ripped apart. Just like that. Suddenly, we are holding nothing but emptiness in our heart. Nights seem longer and happiness seems to play hide and seek with us. We don't want to face the hard reality anymore. A fire rages inside us and we just can't stop it from burning. We keep blaming ourselves for whatever happened even when none of it is our fault. In our life, we're always going to get hurt, no matter how careful we are. We just have to decide who is worth that pain. Ask yourself: Was he/she worth the tears and the heartbreak?
If yes, then close that chapter and move on. The next chapter awaits.
If not, its time to get up on your feet, get back your pride and egoand give them a good kick on their ass and teach them that just because they're gone, it does not mean your life will be full of shit.
Joined: 06 August 2006
Joined: 19 June 2012
Joined: 06 August 2006
Joined: 15 September 2008
Joined: 19 June 2012