Joined: 31 August 2011
"Don't touch me! Don't touch me!"
Her voice kept on ringing in his ears long after she had gone away. She's going to hate me forever, he thought.
Which isn't what you always wanted, of course, said another voice in his head, sarcastically. He wasn't sure what he felt. He felt angry, guilty, frustrated and betrayed. You don't even know what you want, said the snide voice in his voice again. Abhay punched the desk in front of him ; a hole immediately formed in it. The sound brought him back to his own room.
She's not going to leave, he thought grimly as he jammed the accelerator, watching the speedometer rise to ninety as he shot through the hill roads. If only he could meet Pia one more time, he thought desperately,only if he could explain-
Her terrified face swam in front of his eyes again. No, he thought. She would probably run in the opposite direction. How stupid, how incredibly nave he'd been to think that she would come back to him. But he had to see her, before she went. Just one last time
She was leaving. She really was leaving. He saw her turn in his direction as he got out of his car. She didn't run, but she didn't speak either. Her eyes locked with his own, and for the thousandth time, he longed to tear them away from hers. She looked confused, bewildered. No, he thought. Let her go- you don't deserve her anyway.Don't go analyzing her for clues that she might come back. She's not standing near the bus with her suitcase to admire the view.
He moved towards her, not breaking his gaze. Then he hoisted her suitcase onto the rack in a careless display of superhuman strength.She seemed slightly taken aback. A bit flustered, even. He didn't want to care.
He got into his car and drove off, not caring where. All he could think of was her.The images hurtled past, each racing the other. She's a human, he reminded himself harshly.You are not made for each other. Give her up!
Easier said than done. She'd embedded herself within him; it felt like a part of him was being ripped off. Dad was right, he thought. All humans were hypocrites, every last one of them. How typical it was of them to make promises of love and then bolt away at the first hurdle. Piya was such a coward. Why, why hadn't she listened to him when he'd tried every possible means to keep her away?
It wasn't really her fault though, was it? It was his own, entirely his won, for allowing himself to be affected by her. For not being able to stay away from her, despite telling her to. If he hadn't cared for her, maybe she wouldn't have fallen in love with him. And she wouldn't have gone poking around in his life . His cellphone beeped. For a wild moment, he thought it was Pia- then realized it was Mom. "Yes, Mom," he said wearily. "Where are you?" she said, sounding anxious. "I'll be home by night," he snapped, cutting the call. Now he came to think of it, he was almost certain that his so-called parents had kept the boulder in front of the door, so Pia could not escape. No, scrath that- he was certain. It was their fault, all their fault. If only they hadn't blocked the entrance, he wouldn't have had to show himself. He shook his head. No , it was all his own fault- if he'd been more alert, he would've stopped Pia from going into that .place.
A wry smile touched his lips. Pia always ended up getting what she wanted, didn't she? For as long as he'd known her, either fate favoured her, or she was just good at finding out things- each one of her quests were somehow or the other fulfilled. Be it finding about Danish, of Maithali, of him, she'd always succeded, hadn't she? Somehow, she'd made him fall for her as well- somehow, she stood on an almost equal status as Maithali, as far as he was concerned. As if you didn't get what you wanted, the nasty voice in his head chided. You wanted her away from you, didn't you? She's far away from you now. Go party!
Maybe he'd never really wanted her to go. Maybe he'd just wanted her so close to him that he didn't know how to deal with it. Hell, as if he cared. He didn't feel he cared for much now.
The cellphone beeped again; he cut the call without looking. Mom probably wanted him back- darkness was falling . He turned the car in the direction of the city : he'd left it a long time ago. And then , as he passed Pia's hostel, he stopped, his eyes flying upwards automatically.All the lights were off, except one. He closed his eyes, trying to stem the bizarre rush of disappointment that coursed through him. Why couldn't he just accept it? She wasn't coming back! He turned away, trying to find the strength to be able to drive away from there, hating himself for being so weak. He saw Misha come out of the hostel and go up to her bike. For a few seconds, he completely understood her : no doubt, she , like him, had been hoping against hope that she'd come back.
"Hey, Pia! You're coming tomorrow, right?" Abhay's head jerked up as though he'd received an electric shock : his eyes flashed to the lit room. Then he saw her open the window. He saw her smile, wave, and shut the window again. He didn't notice Misha glance at him as she rode past.
She's come back, he thought, feeling as though electricity was coursing through him. She'd come back- she still loved him. He felt his lips stretch in a smile, almost on their own, as he continued to stare upwards.
It would only be a few seconds before he desperately fought with himself again. Desperately try to convince himself that staying away from Pia was best for both of them. But would he ever be able to convince her?
^I thought of writing a small OS on the scene where Abhay sees Pia through the window after she comes back.. I loved his smile then Happy Anniversary PKYEK
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