FF-Hail Storm in Thendral! (Page 9)

MindFreezer Goldie

Joined: 21 April 2012
Posts: 1678

Posted: 24 October 2012 at 1:44am | IP Logged
Super Gisellu, great jobClap Tamil enge ponalum romance mood thaanLOL...but not in the serial.
Enne nadekepogutho...

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Gisel Goldie

Joined: 01 December 2011
Posts: 2352

Posted: 24 October 2012 at 3:19am | IP Logged
In serial, Tamil eppovumai romance mood thanTongue
Thulasi than...grr..Angry!

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Gisel Goldie

Joined: 01 December 2011
Posts: 2352

Posted: 24 October 2012 at 5:07am | IP Logged
Highway between Chennai and Bangalore

"Sollamallai yaar parthathu. Neenjodu than poo puthathu. Mallai sudigintrathai adi athu kathala. Thee culirkindathei adi ithu kathala. Intha matrangal unalai uruvanatha" 
Praba lowers the volume of the car's stereo system and wipes the windscreen with a tissue because of the mist outside and AC inside the car. 
Deepa is looking outside through the window.
Praba, "Deepa! College mudinji ja apporam ena panna pora?raised eyebrows Placements ethavuthu varutha college la?"
Deepa turns to look at him, "Ama, adutha masam 2 companies la irunthu varanga placements ku."
Praba, "Oh! Good! Appo interview ku ellam prepare panniruya?
Just then a truck over takes their car. 
Deepa, "Illa. Nan placements ku ukara illa.Shocked"
Praba siping his coke, "En?" The truck moves slowly making it difficult for Praba to overtake it or even move at a normal speedConfused
Praba puts his coke on the coke holder and honks at the truck.
Deepa, "MBA padikilanu asa padureinClap." slowly and carefully. 
Praba, "Ada. Super idea! Entrance ku padi." Deepa chokes. 
Praba offers her the coke. Deepa takes itWink. "Super college la admission vangiralam. Australia la poi padikiriya? Nan padicha college."
(Eschusme Suchi also studied there and left you, right?thinking)
Deepa, "Australia va? Nenga lum varuveingala?"
Deepa puts the coke in the cokeholder, just as Praba changes the gear causing friction between their handslove struck. 
For a moment there is sheer silenceEmbarrassed.
Then, Praba nods no, "Inga business a pathuka vendama? Rendu varsham anga hostel la irunthu padichitu va. Nala exposure kadaikum."
Deepa, "Nenga varalana vendam."
Praba, "Ada. Admission time varuvein. Holidays ku nee India ku va."
Deepa, "Sorry ga. Neenga illatha edathila nan iruka matein.
Praba turns to look at her. Both of the look at eachother's eyes. (Road a pathu ottu!D'oh)
Deepa, "ENA GA!Shocked", Praba turns to see a car left in the middle of the roadAngry and he is just inches away from itShocked
He swirls the car to the left. The car heads over a sloppy bumbOuch
He tries to handle the steering and in a haste presses the accelerator instead of the breakShocked. Deepa holds on to the side of the car with one hand and the other on Praba's seat, not making a soundOuch. The car heads to a river. Both of them look at each other with terrorShocked 
(Ippovum a? Road please!, look wherever you are goingAngry). Putting all his might Praba stamps on the breakOuch. The car halts. Both of them breathe out a sign of reliefSmile
Praba, "Are you ok?" Deepa nods yesEmbarrassed
The car starts moving alarming themShocked. Praba quickly puts the hand brake. 
(I think that's the first thing you should have done!Angry)  
Praba, "Ippo entha perchanaiyum illa.
Both of them look out. In front of them is a river flowing rapidly with the moon bathing on it. Around them no lights, but pitch darkness.
I don't want to see
Worst of all there is hailstorm.


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Pearl. IF-Dazzler

Joined: 26 February 2010
Posts: 3219

Posted: 24 October 2012 at 6:34am | IP Logged
Gisel... so well written with full suspense...
Deepa/Prabha soup scene was good. TPS mom is always a Nandhi to disturb themLOL.
TA eppavum romantic thaanTongue...What I loved in your script is appadiyay you portray the real character daClap. That is why it is very intresting to read ur FF and felt like watching thendral onlyWink. So TA/T caught in the alangati Mazhai... wow.
Deepa and Prabha too caught in the rain... but atleast they are in the car..Wink.
Ippo who is going to come and save TA/TShocked?? Will P/D meet TA/T??
Waiting for the next one... nicely written with suspenseClap.

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vjayam Goldie

Joined: 15 October 2010
Posts: 1845

Posted: 25 October 2012 at 1:23am | IP Logged
Stargood one scene of prabha n deepa such a natural one...even their convo fit their resp characters...
great going...

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Gisel Goldie

Joined: 01 December 2011
Posts: 2352

Posted: 25 October 2012 at 3:34am | IP Logged

In the woods by the highway

Thulasi, "Kadippa intha valiya poganuma?"Confused
Tamil, "Vera valli illa. Antha veetula inaiku night thangitu nalaiki kallaila ethavuthu pannalam.Confused
He points to a lone house faraway. 
Both of them are walking close to eachother and slowly. 
Thulasi's shawl is over them shielding the hailEmbarrassed
They are walking through the woods
There is no lights, only the full moon guiding them. 
Trees whispering to each other, hustling and the wind is blowing really hard at them. An eerie silence occasionally interrupted by the owl hooting, dogs howling and a train on tracks very, very far awayI don't want to see.
Thulasi squeezes Tamil's hand, "Vendam ga. Therumbi poirallam."
Tamil pats her hand, "Kavala padathe. Nan iruken." (Athuthan engalukku bayam!LOL) They walk further.They reach the house. Tamil, "Mara veedu a?"
Thulasi, "Yaravuthu irukkirangala?"
Tamil, "Theriyala. Iru pakirein." goes up the porch and knocks at the door, "Hello?"
Only silenceConfused.
Thulasi waits in front of the house biting her nailsnail biting
Tamil knocks again and tries the handle. 
The door opens with a creaking noiceworried.
Tamil, "Veedu thoranthirukku ana yaarum illa!Confused"
Thulasi, "Vanga pogalam!"(Listen to her, Tamilnail biting)
Tamil motions her to follow her, "Vaa ulla poi irukalam. Kalailla kelambi iralam." Thulasi follows him unwillingly. 
They enter the house and look around. 
There is no light. Tamil moves his fingers over the wall to find a switch and puts on the light. 
There are no rooms just a bed and a TVShocked; it is just a cabin with a tubelight, which is still flickering.
Thulasi still not sure of the place around her, stays close to Tamil.
Tamil, "Enaku intha edum romba pidichirukkuwaiting"
Thulasi looks at him in disbelief and crosses her hands, "Ena ga achu? Azhangati maalai la thalai la ethavuthu adi patiducha?Tongue"
Just then there is lightening and thunders
Thulasi gets scared and hugs Tamil tightlyEmbarrassed
Tamil, "Sathiyama enaku intha edum romba...romba pidichirukku.LOL" hugging her back. Thulasi smiles. 
Tamil lifts her chin, looks into her eyes, "Sorry. Enalathena ivalo kashtamEmbarrassed."
The tubelight is still flickeringShocked
Thulasi smiles, "Cha. Cha. Unga kuda enga irunthal enku santhosham thanEmbarrassed. Naragathilla kudaConfused." and lies on his chest. 
There is another thunder and the light goes outShocked.

Edited by Gisel - 25 October 2012 at 3:33am

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vjayam Goldie

Joined: 15 October 2010
Posts: 1845

Posted: 25 October 2012 at 5:20am | IP Logged
Wow super part...just loved it...
great feel...(loved yr side comments...the spl touch with eschuseme ...)

Edited by vjayam - 25 October 2012 at 7:30am

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Shemmo IF-Rockerz

Joined: 18 June 2010
Posts: 6909

Posted: 25 October 2012 at 8:22am | IP Logged
Hahaha super Gisel Tongue T&T caught in rain and P&D too... Hope someone comes and saves them. Too good written, very excited to know whats gonna happen. Wink

Edited by Shamz. - 25 October 2012 at 8:22am

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