Dreams and Beyond...

In bright yellow and burning red, sun melted into deep blues... As the last rays faded, the moonlit sky has been adorned with myriads of stars. Why do they awake all night? Do they also dream? I don't know... Some reasons are not known, some are not to be known... A reason, that can't be told, only be felt like a breeze. Are there any such reasons or am I trying to find the same one in everything? I feel being blessed by every emotion of nature that I'm the most lucky girl on earth for being loved by my Sooraj ji...

my beloved,

having thought I will never raise again, I had bowed before you. Thereafter, I never had to bow anywhere... Once, flowers of life had fallen decayed in my orchard, haunted by broken dreams and painful memories. At the crack of a pristine dawn, you came, leafing new hopes. You flowered another spring all around. Beneath your shade, my life sprouted again. It was a new beginning. And you carried me in your arms, close to your heart, stepping over burning coals.

For me, once your arms were only prison bars that could keep me locked up forever. Now I realise, they have embraced of to the safest place forever. Beyond my husband, you're my true friend, my unbroken trust... With you around, colours seen more brighter and the world look more beautiful...and every little moment has a lot more to share...

Beyond all little imperfections, you're the man I truly love... Oh! My dear Sooraj ji, I've never been this deep in your love…. I love you…. I belong to you….. I selflessly love you with everything I have….. In the joy of being together, I wish, every day I wake up into you and sleep back in you…..

Many dawns were born, many nights are gone. Time has sifted out many seasons. Many tempests blew hard. Many rains and springs are also gone. Still in the back-yards of my heart, I felt silent flutters of my dream. It was alive, shining more brighter than ever. Every time it tried to fly towards a new horizon, my soul has been stirred in a stinging agony.

Sooraj ji, was I failing to understand you? Or didn't I trust you as much as you trusted me? I don't know. I wanted you to know my dreams before the darkness could fell. Drinking fire, I sung. But why my voice was too loud to be heard... Many times, an unknown fear has stopped of from letting my heart speak, letting you know my aspirations. When my dream has found its way, why couldn't I begin to move? Why my soul has been chained?

Slowly I stepped out of my own world of comforts, to a new world of duties and responsibilities. Every morning, I was being awaken, torn by an impossible dream and real responsibilities. I felt my soul being crushed under weights of many lives which were not mine. Slowly I learnt life is not all about living for myself alone, sometimes I need to live for others too. I loved this ambiguity.

Life always has it's cruel humor, serving the food once hunger gets diminished. I should not run away from my responsibilities only for my dream.  I know I'm not there where I wished to be. But I'm there where I needed to be. I did not wish to have anything, forgetting others around me. Life is like walking on a rope. To keep balance, one always has to move. And I lived million deaths with my dream buried deep inside, even before it could leaf into a new sprout.

 But, you knew my world and understood it...with you by my side, my no dreams were far away...somewhere down in my dark depths, like the seed of a lotus sleeping for ages, my dreams has been waiting for your warm embrace to wake up into a new dawn. In a heart beat, in a throbbing moment, you woke a flame from the ashes and whispered in my ears that I have a spring within my cold winters.

                           My sole raison detre, I don't know how could I live without you. I don't know how to thank you. All that I know is I love you…….I selflessly surrender myself in your incessant love….. My sunshine, you're the answer to every prayer I offered, every wish I made, every dream I saw….. Like waves and sea shore, we are together, so close to each other, just only a breath away…... We fill and complete each other in a way nothing else could do….and what else do I need when I have your shoulders to cry and laugh?

                            yours and yours only,

                                                 Rose.