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Impressions and Feedbacks-BY a PROUD HCian <3

Ephemera IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 08 July 2012
Posts: 10916

Posted: 12 October 2012 at 5:59am | IP Logged
this thread is all about MY personal feedbacks and impressions about the  various FFs Poems VMs made by some GIFTED stunning peopleBig smile and also some of my shots at being creativeEmbarrassed


and his works!! Day Dreaming

hence i request HCians to participate and give there opinion on my POVs...i am open to all the possible angles to look at a work Smile in that way we can enjoy a creation in infinite number of waysBig smile

i apologize for the very very long posts ...Embarrassed
those who have difference of opinion ... i kindly request to stay away Smile

Achhi lage Dil ko mere Har teri baat re

{pics courtesy facebook and google ; lyrics:-sathiya from singham}

Edited by lakshmi_3004 - 14 October 2012 at 11:21pm

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Ephemera IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 08 July 2012
Posts: 10916

Posted: 12 October 2012 at 6:08am | IP Logged
My few lines on Harshad Chopra  for startersSmile :-

let my wishes shadow you everywhere,
let my soul shield you all around;
person like you is so rare,
an invaluable treasure to be found!!

smile of your's lit up countless lives,
honesty of your's to be proud of;
your humanity a beacon to many,
humility is an inspiration to many!!

may you get success at every step,
don't you dare any time give up;
you are a treat to watch,
man of your stature hard to match!!

may all your wishes come true ,
without  you, life has no hue;
even your silence speaks to us,
every act of yours leaving us breathless!!Day Dreaming

{pic courtesy facebook ...thanks megz for wonderful write up and the siggie maker
(am sorry am unaware) for the siggie}

Edited by lakshmi_3004 - 14 October 2012 at 11:26pm

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Ephemera IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 08 July 2012
Posts: 10916

Posted: 13 October 2012 at 2:06am | IP Logged
my first feedback in this thread...is for Sneha di's AMAZING FF "

*FF: The Seasons Of Life-

here goes my errr long feed back for 

Chapter  3 Part (a)

The first bud of Spring

1]change is a inevitable in life di...and the first sentence gave a crisp and straight-to-the-business tone to the story!!!Thumbs Up
2]loved the details you included.Hug.like tea-breaks..fresh flowers..and raghav's work..not only it gave a sense of passage of time (intended) it also helps in maintaining the consistency... i loved subtle continuityClap...makes the read much more enjoyable Big smile
3]i am not able to connect Confused...at this point of time to the fact that Sia is acting as if the-normal-soap heroine-having infinite-patience-never opening her mouth-at the face of injustice...attitude.Angry..i mean this FF is far far far more better the everyday crap they dish out as soaps in TVAngry..and if we get to see the same pattern here too...its...irritatingConfused?? (for lack of correct word)...Embarrassed
4]i agree completely here with you diSmile.. although consistency is important in stories...in reality there is hardly anything which is consistent ever in lifeOuchLOL..and hence change is the norm of lifeSmile...this last sentence was a gem and also acts like a peg which is holding this piece of imaginative writing down to the base of reality...a gentle reminder of sorts that "hey!! these things do happen in real life too...Star
again excellent job in maintaining an air of reality instead of flowing away in imagination..you..know..no fantasy...ClapThumbs Up
5] "It had been an exhausting day in every sense of the word for Raghav. Some issue had cropped up in the firm in the morning that had made him leave home on an empty stomach. Half of his working time had been accommodated with solving the issue but the situation still looked grave as they were not able to reach at consensus. His important client meeting scheduled for that day had been called off which left him in a sour mood"
this piece of work struck me for some unknown reasonSmile...may be the day to day office scenario was so akin to real lifeSmile..or i could just imagine raghav or rather HCBlushing in an office setting...or may be we as workers do face it on a common basis.LOL.,,or may be i could relate very well to the off- mood of R due to cancelled appointmentsLOL..dunno..Confused
krish's school event??Confused the tone says it was a known fact.Confused..what am i missing di? how can i oversee this? Shocked
i can see a storm comingLOL...lol i can imagine Hc's face Day Dreamingwith lot of internal thinking..and restlessness 
6]i liked the greased-hand starting to smile  and sighing and rolling eyes sia...these small small details has huge contribution to the overall believeablity(there i go inventing a word LOLall cos of uAngry) of FF...Smile
this is also shows your caliber as an observer dear..ClapClapClap
i mean until and unless conciously or subconciously you concentrate on the  actions reaction in environment you can't add it in the FF kno...
7]"Raghav had just slumped on to his couch and was having hard time thinking about talking to Krish. His nephew of late had come to say that Raghav had no time for him. His heart ached thinking about it and moreover knowing that perhaps it was true. Yes he had drowned himself in work so as to run away from the memories. He had come to find out that he did not know any other way to cope. But then this had lead to him spending less time with Krish. He would leave early in the morning for the firm and come late at night only to see Krish tucked away and fast asleep. But everyday Kaka would mention about Krish asking for his Chachu. All he would do was curl up beside the little ones form and hold him for a while, as if this small gesture would fill him with life again, with hope again, with peace again. But today he felt way too low. Was he being selfish here? Was he in the name of running away from the pain, neglecting Krish? How could he forget the event at school? Krish had been so looking forward to it. He decided he would go to Krish and try and pacify him in any which way possible. With all these thoughts raking his mind he had messed up his hair, by running his hand through them umpteen number of times."
one word-STUPENDOUS...i dunno y but i LOVE IT!!...the subtle nuances..the questions raised..the-running away-from memories-by immersing oneself into work is so so raghav/HC!! and the way i like...internal turmoil of raghav is always so interesting...and you bottled it perfectly!! awesomeHugClapStar
i really can understand the trouble you had to undergo NOT to slip into lalalala land when you were writing about raghav's hair!Blushing! awwwieee his hairDay Dreaming...and that tooo messed upBlushing!! killer di..LOLBlushing
8]grrr raghav is way tooo acidic in his behaviour towards a ladyAngryAngry...no amount of reasoning can be taken as excuse to his stupid behaviourAngry..my hand was so itching to give a tight slap to him for his pricking words!Angry! what he things himself?Angry lord governor?Dead does he control sia's breath too grrr.Angry..pathetic behaviourD'oh...i hate raghav for this at present.Angry..ok fine he lost his family..so?? so what? its not end of the world..nor world's biggest trajedy..and neither a loss nobody has ever gone through grrrAngryAngry ..there are many who have gone through much more terrible things boss!! Angry(i think sia is one suchWink)..can't he cut some slack for sia?Angry grrr
9]what a karara phatka sia gave in her reply to R's rant.Clap..in her irritatinglyAngry "calm-understanding -reassuring-as well as slightly disconnected "way...R sooo needs that kinda reality check.Clap...am so so happy!!Big smile yippeeeDancing
10]i liked the detailing..u know..sia talking with her back towards R...R staring at nothing!! i can imagine the intense eye to eye contact...oi maaa Day Dreamingif i was in sia's place i would melt.Blushing..hai neeeBlushing
and what sia said was true..one need to talk things out so that it wouldnt drown them in...self pity and self blaming is worst right?Embarrassed then again these qualities making R's charecter much more humane and convincing!!ClapThumbs Up awesome confrontationClap...although frankly i felt at start that sia was putting her hand staight inside  lion's mouth he he he ROFL
11]"She looked right back into his eyes while saying "well if takes all the yelling out on me to make you feel lighter...go on... be my guest." This disarmed him...she had thrown a curve ball his way and he didn't know what to do except for being rooted to his place"
hilarious and solemn at the same time!!..i LOLed when she said "be my guest"LOL...i know the way R would have got the jhatka.LOL..lol first of all sia was brave to talk in an eye contactClap...dint quail under his death stareClap...on top of that completely unexpected dealing she did...very very very funny and sad too...sad cos R was so hurt he NEEDs some one to talk and trust..again..Ouch.
12] "lost look" "i am scared" drew a lone tear out of my eyesCry
13]i really really was saddened and cried along with raghav..all his IFs was paining me too along with sia..felt..as if saying " shhh shhh dont break into pecies..."wiping his tears away..felt ...felt to give him a warm reassuring hug!! he in so need of it OuchCry
14]"Siya in the most consoling voice reached out to him "Hey!!! It's ok ...It's ok to be scared..." He looked up at her, into her eyes, and found that those words that she said were genuine as it reflected in her eyes. She gave a nod as if trying to affirm her words. "Its all scattered right now... but believe me...it will be fine in the coming days as you cope...it will". at this he said "I don't think so. Bhai n Bhabhi have left such a void within me that I..." and he could not continue.  "I do understand what it is to lose your dear ones... It's like a part of you that was a part of them too is snatched away...leaving you changed to a certain extent... Yes it hurts and hurts like hell... But then when try to look a bit beyond our pains we are able to see what we can do about it... You have Krish to cling on to... your driving force... As for work at the firm...a few days down the lane and you will be able to deal with it just like you brother did... And as far as Krish is concerned...Anyone who says that kid resents you has button for eyes... That kid out there is as much your world as your are his... nothing can shake that... not even missing out on the meets... Yes the recent happenings have made it difficult for you to spend time with him, sometimes done purposely to drown yourself in work whereas sometimes the reasons being genuine... But then nothing in this world right now can give Krish more happiness than your presence and vice versa... Stop this running away from memories... they will stop chasing you... eventually."
    He asked again, "does this ever stop? The memories lashing out at you?" To this she said... "No it doesn't... though they become less frequent... Initially they tend get on to you and you constantly feel the loss... but eventually they take a back seat... coming back at few odd times... but by then you are able to take them, shed a few tears and then gather yourself up all by yourself."
     "I don't think I could ever forget them..." he said voicing his doubts and as if in sync she continued "...and you don't have to... Just keep them safe in that corner of your heart which is still warm...where there is summertime all year through... now you may not find it...let a few days pass by and you'll know the place""...
two words come up ...and apt too...: BEAUTIFUL...heart touching.....Big smileClap
15]as to your question at the end??
 in a way its a small start...but for me..as  a reader...its a talk with huge consequence Smile...it might change the whole way of looking at things for raghavStern Smile..bring about charecter fortification.Smile...its very very significant talk!! and as it matters heartsEmbarrassed...i am very sure Raghav has slipped for sia( a wishfull fangirl dream Day DreamingLOL)..even though he is not in what you might say "right frame of mind"..Ouch..
thanks di for including me (make a point and comment brigand lol) in your thank you notes ..am honored...Hug
as for my reaction?? "curl up beside you..only that am the little one " ROFL

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Ephemera IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 08 July 2012
Posts: 10916

Posted: 14 October 2012 at 4:52am | IP Logged
feed back for @sneha di's 

Chapter  3 Part (b)

The first bud of Spring

1]awww i loved the description of raghav's voice..BlushingHug
and the antics of krish is so endearingLOL...not only it adds some light moments but also shows the day-to-day happenings of a normal household.Smile...what struck me was the motherly behaviour sia displayedShocked... is there any significant pointer thrown in thereQuestion is her past includes any kidQuestion the more the FF progress the more the mystery around sia deepensLOL ..hmpf.AngryDisapprove...am impatient AngryLOL
2]aww raghav.Day Dreaming...in white kurthaHeart *heart beat stopped*...oh so handsomeBlushing!! awieeeDay Dreaming *hyperventilating* LOLthank you for showing HC///,,i mean raghav in white kurta di..BlushingHug.
3]y is there a feeling of forced cordial behavior from raghav?ConfusedAngrygrr 
even after the support sia gave to himAngry..the heart to heart talk Day Dreaming(much neededOuch)...can't he be grateful? Angryy he has to be rude all time?Angry would his bhabi maa approve of his actionsAngry?
4]i can't understand the thinking of raghav hereConfused..i mean moments before he rained fire on sia.Angry.and here he is sweetly apologizing to his nephewBig smile...is it cos of the loss Confusedor is it because of the confused state he is in  nowConfused?
5]aww KriGhav scenes are always so tender and heart touching diApprove..thanks for including itHug..as its almost scanty in actual showAngryLOL
6]there is also some underlying significance in sia's refusal of the idea of raghav dropping  her to ashram.Stern Smile..as if sia deliberately avoided himConfused..as if there was something she was hiding Question
7]loved the karele ki sabsi nautanki of raghav ROFL..cho chweetBig smile...you are too good in capturing raghav's exact reactions Thumbs Up
8]chalo raghav at least realized that sia "eased" his paining heartApprove...as much as i want this to be the first love symbol.Day Dreaming..i am looking forward to much more friendlier relations between raghav and sia for startersSmile
9]oi Mr Raghav D'ohshe not only deserved an apology ..she also deserves a lot of respectStern Smile...
10]" But the 'hows', 'whens' and 'wheres' of the 'sorry' bothered him. "...although it may look like his ego is not letting him to say sorryDisapprove...its actually the teachings of his bhabhi...making him repent for his obvious irrational behaviorApprove..more importantly feeling of shame flooding himOuch...(although its not shown here as suchEmbarrassed)
11]"that 'Sorry' is what he would say to her...and that too as soon as possible."
is it just me or ACTUALLY the last part of sentence sounding OminousShocked? like Raghav's "as soon as possible" is not gonna come so soonOuch..and that some or other kind of distraction may occurAngry? probably souring the relation much moreAngry? i hope it isn't like thatOuch...
and really hope that the ray of hope for a positive relation holds on.Smile..

well everytime after a serious scene...a lighter scene ..in this case familial moment in your wordsSmile...balances the story as well as nudges it in right direction and leaves the reader relaxed,expectant (as many leads can open upWink) and forges a strong "connect" between the reader and the story told di so yeah LOVED itClapHug

as for my reaction? a good tight KriGhav hug Hug your way diBig smile

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Ephemera IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 08 July 2012
Posts: 10916

Posted: 14 October 2012 at 5:45am | IP Logged
feedback for @vandy di's 

DiHug...finally am starting on your VmsLOL..so sorry for extreme delayEmbarrassed

1] perfect song for the occasion diThumbs Up...was missing HC so much before he joined SBCry...he usually is silent Angry...as in no news  of him when he is not doing any show.Unhappy.and getting any news of him was like a celebrationLOL...as it was once in a blue moonAngry
2]awesome VID and LYRICS sync di...ClapStar
3] parts which i liked a lot areEmbarrassed :-
a) 0.01-0.03 the lyrics was APTStar ...and my heart skipped a beat Blushing
b)0.12 aww his killer smileDay Dreaming!! HC smile is the best smile in entire telly world!!Blushing
c)0.19-0.24 as the lyrics goes...jaane kitne dino baad..i felt  really after a long time we got to  lay our eyes on himWinkBlushing...in fact the shot of him from down {0.21-0.24} was..."maardaalaBlushing" and kaathilaanaDay Dreaming...
d)0.29 awieee his angelic smileDay Dreaming
e)0.35-0.40 i dunno y but the lyrics and the lifting of head by HC struck a chord in meBig smile...i was all blushingBlushing
f)0.41-0.53 really jaane kitno dino baad we got to see HC's dil kholke hasnaDay Dreaming hai mein marjawaanBlushingHeart
g)0.55 look at his fingerBlushing...i mean HC looks like an innocent child whenever he scratches his head like that while concentrating on something LOLBig smile
h)0.55-0.58 the street bulb or set bulb was symbolic when the lyric went "gali mein chand nikla" as HC was standing on a roadShocked ...awesome sync diClapClap
i)1.05-end...loved his zulfein Day Dreamingand his finger combing itBlushing!!! i can imagine how you would be lost in dream seeing that ...LOL

the VM was short and sweet loved it to the coreThumbs UpHugClap..(partly cos i got see HC from head to toeBlushing in different different anglesLOL) and perfect song for the occasion Thumbs UpStar

as for my reaction after watching this VM?...pause at 0.49...[ although there is no comparison whatsoever between mine and HC'sShockedEmbarrassed..and i can't even imagine comparing itShocked]

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HaRul-lover IF-Rockerz

Joined: 26 October 2011
Posts: 7018

Posted: 14 October 2012 at 10:10am | IP Logged
I ahve some harshad vms
but they r with differents actresses not with Sriti and it's been a long time since i made a vm on him lol
i dnt think it's a good idea to post them on the forum but if u want to have a look pm me :)
Ephemera IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 08 July 2012
Posts: 10916

Posted: 14 October 2012 at 11:09am | IP Logged
@SiRul sure dear my pleasure ..as long as its HC Embarrassed.
..but right now i am really back at writing feed backs once i catch up with that i will definitely look in to your creations dear..thanks for the offer will surely do it ..Smile would love to know your opinion on my POV Embarrassed

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