First of all, no matter how not-so-happy we all might be with Barun leaving the show, I'll always stalk him and haunt him and bla bla bla. But then I'll also always wish him the best in whatever he does and watch his movies a thousand times over. 😃 Go Barun!
Coming to the chapter... tadadadaaa... A little something something revealed.. 😉
Chapter 8
"Israr bhai, this gaajar ka halwa is to die for!" Khushi beamed in between stuffing her mouth with spoonfuls of the dark orange sweet.
"No no Khushiji! Please, don't you die for anything!" the halwai retorted, and then, leaning in close to her with comic secrecy, he loudly whispered, "you see Khushiji, we need you in this world. For your jalebi-making powers!"
Khushi cracked up. Of all the numerous halwais on this single street, she liked Israr bhai's the best. Ever since they'd moved here, she'd make it a point to visit him at least once a week to say hello and get a free tasting in return. He was one of the better people. He never went sniffing for money by scamming his customers to make a profit, he never let children leave his shop without a free sample of laddu or kaaju katri in their hands, he never fought with other shopkeepers for customers, but that, he never had to; people from all over Delhi were attracted to his shop for his good nature. Here, they got something more than just mouthwatering heaps of sweets, they got the halwai experience. The only other place Khushi felt this kind of homeliness was in her bauji's shop, the one 2 streets down from here, and the one they'd left behind in Lucknow.
"Israr bhai! Okay, now I have to get going. I was supposed to return home from the bazaar half an hour ago."
"First you have to promise me you'll show me how to make such heavenly jalebis."
"I promise. But mind you, they'll never be as good as mine; there's magic in my hands." Khushi joked, waving her fingers in front of her to put make her story more 'believable'.
"Can't argue with that fact, can I?"
"Never." She confirmed with a smile as she got off the slab, grabbed her purse, and the groceries, and continued her walk home.
~
In the midst of the sound of all her blood rushing through her ears, Payal fell into silence, as Arnav disclosed every truth he knew about Khushi. She tried to make some sense of the situation. She hoped he was only playing some unfunny, hateful prank on her little sister, or that maybe he was some deranged stalker who went after Khushi because she looked like some wife of his who might have passed away years ago. She thought of any and every over extravagant rationalization to reason why he would be telling her all this, apart from the one which made most sense, that he was saying the truth.
It was long after Arnav's confession now. She had taken him back in to the house and had him sit down. She had bid her mother and buaji adieu as they left for the temple and made her excuse for staying back with ASR since there was a little slip-up in one of Khushi's dresses. Bauji was at the shop, and wouldn't be back till evening. She took great care with a steely calm so not to cause a scene in front of the entire household and neighbors.
Finally, she took a seat across from Arnav, who was still staring into blank space, contemplatin. He'd disclosed to her all that he knew, including what he couldn't bring himself to say to Khushi that day in his office, probably because he wouldn't have been able to bear the pained expression on Khushi's face when she'd have found out about Sakshi. But he told Payal and she had taken it a lot better than anyone would've thought. When she sat down in front of him now, he admired how calm her approach to such an adverse situation was. He tried to think of what she must be thinking, what she would say, would she grant him permission to take her younger sister back to the darkest times of her life?.
And then she spoke, at last, "you know, when you see Khushi today, you'd never have guessed how broken she was when she'd come to live with us first. She constantly asked about Sakshi Bua. She lost her appetite, she fell sick, she was in such bad shape it scared us.
Then one day, she woke up before anyone else and made bauji breakfast before he left for work. She'd made the most unpleasant burnt jalebis for him, but he still ate them, simply because she had finally, finally smiled her beautiful smile after so many weeks of deadly, expressionless silence. After that morning, Khushi had completely transformed. None of us knew what had happened. Her questions stopped instantly. She ate with everyone else. She laughed with everyone else. She was better. We were all so relieved to see her happy again. She always spoke of things which made us smile, and she still does. She doesn't share her worries though, but eventually, she comes out of them on her own and once again, she's fine.
ASR--"
"Call me Arnav," he corrected.
"Arnavji, tell me. If I give you permission for this, do you think Khushi has the strength to come back to us again? Will she be able to find happiness once more like she did the last time? It was a real miracle then. We didn't know how it happened, but she'd learnt to swim in her tears. And if you take her back under the surface once again, will she be able to come back up in all spirit? What do you think Arnavji?"
Arnav had nothing to say to Payal. She held an argument all too valid. He hadn't thought about the aftermath of everything. He only blindly made his decision to confront Khushi. But this was so unlike him. Every little action he did, choice he made, deal he fixed, was thought out carefully and strategically, from start to finish. There was no detail he left out, then how could he forget such a major point now?
After everything was disclosed, the curtains lifted, how would the single person in the audience take it? What effect would all this have on Khushi? Maybe he shouldn't go forward with any of this. Maybe she could just live her life in innocent ignorance and that would be the end of it.
Then his mind went to Sakshi. Was Khushi really his biggest concern? Was all this for him to decide? No. Arnav had no right to take Khushi's decision for her. Khushi would know, the bare minimum of information, but she would know. And whether she wanted to know further or not would be her choice to make. That way, he would stay true to the promise he had made Sakshi.
"Payal' I' I think it would be better for Khushi to decide for herself whether she wants to go back under the surface or not' she should get a chance to look closely at all her options and go with whatever she thinks is best for her."
Payal thought about this. He was right. No matter how much she wanted to keep Khushi safe, her little sister was old enough to make her own choices, especially when it came to such a crucial factor of her life.
"In that case, I'm sure Khushi will do what's right' whatever that is."
~
The front porch of the Gupta house was elevated 3 feet above the ground by 4 stairs; the construction of which was of western red cedar planks supported by more wooden pillars and plain air beneath it. The arrival of any visitor to the front door was announced by the low sound of footsteps on the hollow deck.
It was nearing 1:15 in the afternoon that this sound was once again heard as Khushi ascended the 4 stairs and approached the door. She knocked at the door quite ardently and called out questioning the reason as to why it was locked.
Arnav and Payal, who had been sitting silently for the past 10 minutes, each with their different thoughts about the same person, broke out of their spells. Payal looked in the direction of the door as her body mechanically lifted her up and took her towards it to let her sister in.
Arnav meanwhile mentally revised his small speech, straightened out his suit, and tried his best to gather his nerves before facing Khushi. He then heard her cheery voice and all his calm went out the same door she walked in through. He heard her going on about some carrots and garlic and how some Deepakji was trying to cheat her out of 2 chilies. And then she stopped short of saying something about some Israr bhai and he knew he'd been spotted. He closed his eyes and took one last deep breath before standing up to face her.
She looked as beautiful as ever; her wide doe-like kohl-filled eyes, her long dark brown hair now tied in a messy bun, her face tinted pink from the late October heat, and a few beads of sweat trickling down her cheek and neck. Even in the simple peach suit she was wearing, she looked like an angel.
Khushi looked on in shock. What was he doing here? Had he chased her all the way to her house now? Had he told Payal anything? He'd better not have. Khushi didn't want Payal to know about any of this. It wasn't like she didn't trust her jiji, no, she trusted her with her life, but she didn't want her to get caught in such a complicated net. It was Khushi's past and Khushi would deal with it herself, without involving or troubling anyone who didn't have to be made part of this.
"Jiji' what's going on? Why is HE here?" Khushi asked cautiously.
"Khushi, Arnavji has come to speak with you."
"Speak with me?" Khushi didn't understand. Just yesterday, he had told her out of his office for no apparent reason, so now why was he standing here? What was wrong with him? Couldn't he just say what he had to and finish it?
"What are you here for now?" she snapped at Arnav, her eyes reflecting the anger which had arisen in her remembering the previous day's incident.
Before Payal could correct her tone of speaking, Arnav answered her, "Khushi, please. I know you must hate me for putting you in such a situation and bringing everything from your past up but this is important."
Khushi's eyes immediately shot to her jiji, who stood there with a solemn look on her face. Payal understood what troubled Khushi. She didn't want Payal to get involved. She didn't want her to know about any of this because she didn't want to seem like a nuisance. Khushi was like that; always thinking her problems were insignificant and of no great concern, that she could handle them without having to "inconvenience" others. But this was nothing trifling. It wasn't just some argument with a vendor or some discord with a neighbor; it was about Khushi's past. It was everything about Khushi that had molded her into how, where, WHO she was. Of course her jiji had to be involved. In fact, the entire family had to be involved but Payal knew Khushi would hate her for it. So 'jiji' was as far as it would go.
"I know." Payal cleared. This clichd proclamation had Khushi eying Arnav furiously.
"How DARE he drag jiji into this?!" she thought.
Arnav would have toppled over at her glare. It was almost as incredible to look at as her smile. Her eyes burned a light hazel and her lips sealed tight into almost nothing.
"Khushi'" he began, trying to waste no more time.
"Jiji. I don't know what this man has said to you. But I have no interest in wasting my time talking to him." She didn't really mean it, but it just came out like that.
Arnav now held onto one last thread of sanity. He was trying his complete best to keep his calm and nothing was working. This girl just refused to listen to him.
"Khushi. It's for your own good. He has something important to say to you. About Sakshi bua. It would be better for you to just listen to him."
"Listen to him? I've given this man enough chances to speak but all he can do is leave me even more confused than before. So why should I have to listen to him? Tell me jiji, what GOOD comes out of listening to him?"
That was it. He'd stayed calm for much too long. He'd tried to keep his anger at bay and it might have even worked, but this girl had pushed him a little too far. Arnav snapped.
"Khushi! YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT GOOD COMES OUT OF LISTENING TO ME? SAKSHI! SAKSHI HAS THE ANSWERS TO ALL YOUR QUESTIONS! SAKSHI KNOWS EVERYTHING, AS DO I! BUT IT ISNT MY JOB TO TELL YOU, IT'S HERS! SO IF YOU COULD DO THE SLIGHTEST COURTESY AS TO LISTEN TO ME, I COULD TELL YOU I KNOW WHERE SHE IS AND THAT I CAN TAKE YOU TO HER! THAT'S WHAT GOOD COMES OUT OF LISTENING TO ME!"
The three people stood dumbfounded.
Payal knew everything even before Arnav's sudden outburst in front of Khushi. But' but' the outburst. She had least expected to lay this on Khushi like THIS. The sheer power with which Arnav had spoken shook her to the bone. An unknown fear filled her, keeping her from speaking up to avoid messing with what seemed like a man sent down by the god of war himself. This wasn't Arnav, of course. It was ASR.
Arnav no longer stood in the hall. He couldn't do a thing right. Naturally, ASR had to step in and take over. Now, ASR remained in his place, thinking, going through everything he had missed out on, and concocting a plan for damage control, a way to move forward from here. He deliberated over what needed to be done to make up for Arnav's foolish actions, strategizing his next steps.
Khushi stood silent. Not a single thought went to her mind. Arnav's words replayed in her mind over millions of times. Again and again and again and' Had he really said that? No. Of course not. There was no way he knew where Sakshi bua was. There was no way to find her, to meet her after 10 years of complete silence from both sides. She was hearing things. She was seeing things. She had gone into a state of hysteria for sure. Neither Arnav Singh Raizada nor jiji were standing there in front of her, waiting for her to respond. Buaji and amma were somewhere in the house, calling her. There was just so much work to do for the wedding. There were some guests coming over tomorrow. She had to help out. What would jiji think if she found her little sister just standing around with a clueless expression on her face weeks before the wedding?
She turned around absently, and started walking towards her room to start tidying up.
"Kh' Khushi?" jiji's hesitant voice came from the hall, but she kept walking.
"Don't listen Khushi. They aren't real. Don't listen." She murmured to herself aloud.
Arnav almost laughed hearing this. Yeah. Sure. Not real. He very well bloody wished none of this were real.
"Khushi, we are very much real. You haven't gone insane. But that's not important. What's important is that you need to think about what you're going to do now. Are you ready to let me take you to Sakshi? Are you even ready to see her? Are you ready to face her? Khushi. Khushi, I need you to answer me." Arnav had by now walked over to Khushi's side, trying to snap her out of her daze.
"Huh?" she looked at him with lost eyes, trying with great difficulty to find meaning in what he was saying.
He took her by her shoulders and shook her a bit to get her back to her senses, "Khushi!"
She blinked once. Twice. The third time, she closed her eyes to think where she had left off. This time when she opened her eyes, they didn't have the stumped look they did a few seconds ago. Rather, they shone of determination, willpower to face anything that was thrown her way.
"Yes." She whispered to confirm she was there. Arnav nearly smiled at her. It always thrilled him to see that look in her eyes, though he wasn't sure why. He'd seen it only two or three times before, but that was enough for' "enough for what Arnav?" ASR came right back the second Arnav started to slip. This wasn't the time to think about stupid things. There was a task at hand which needed to be dealt with.
"Khushi? Did you hear what I said?" he spoke with intangible softness.
"Yes. I did." She replied in the same hushed tone.
"And'?"
"And' and' I' I want to meet Sakshi Bua. I'm ready to face her."
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