Joined: 20 September 2010
Joined: 06 July 2010
Joined: 15 January 2011
Joined: 30 March 2011
Joined: 27 September 2008
She is way too unsophisticated for dutta to like her, again she judged him wrong, her loud appearance or her manners or say lack of manners has nothing to do with his hard feelings, its just the cause for which she is here for!..bang on right I wonder is she really his wife for 5 years!..hard to believe but its true But you explained that very well in this update! Very very very calculative move as a writer by making supriya nanasaheb's daughter,..lol..thanks she belongs to the same world as he does, so clearly she's not making any sacrifice for dutta by accepting him as a gangster...this world is not new for her so she has slipped into the role of a gangster's wife quite easily..But the best thing is'.ummm I dnt knw how to word it, bt I'll try. Look nakusha is the lead of the story dutta is destined to fell in love with her, so there should be something 'extra ordinary" of nakuhsa which supriya must lack, but what, a prostitute clearly can't compete against a LADY leave alone winning, but now nakusha too has a chance, it's pretty evident that all because of her belongingness from underworld she doesn't realize the restless and internal turmoil of dutta that he faces everyday due the clash of his wish to turn back and the reality of not being able to do so!..to sum up in simple words every husband/ wife needs a partner who understands him/her well with whom one can be himself/ herself ..sadly in this case sups fails badly to understand him..one looks for a true companion in life and she is definitely not his companion.
Now the opening part, very well done, I'll have to confess that until now, it was unethical for me to force somebody to sleep with someone without his will, though I was trying to see the picture was it was this part which nails the fact when it comes to a man like dutta it's not merely unethical it's UNHUMAN!..cheating in any kind of relationship by dutta is totally unacceptable by him.. Very well portrayal of dutta's frustration and his reaction, wahi purana khud ko dard dena, but it kept him in the character through out..thanks so much for appreciating this scene.., anyways dutta has been in the character throughout except for the fact that he's married to supriya, and we are swallowing it with a spoonful of salt..ohh not with a pinch of salt ..lol..'.lol. No seriously, I'm loving the portrayal of dutta supriya marriage, you know how much I was looking forward to it..see i always knowingly or unknowingly write up what u want ..now if thats what u wanted then u should not complain no matter how difficult its for u to see him with some other lady .lol... It's perfect for a man to fell in love with another woman, you find KANK not convincing..falling in love when u r already married does happen ..i don't deny that but to accept that i need a good reason ..in KANK sadly i did not find it convincing for both shahrukh n rani to leave their respective spouses n fall for each other when they had such lovely n understanding partners..especially abhishekh was a wonderful husband he always wanted to save the marriage ..he loved her immensely and i failed to understand what shahrukh gave her and abhishekh didn't that made her fall in love with him..anyway i guess i can go on n on as to why KANK wasn't convincing and I can sense the effort to make yours one convincing...i hope the readers are convinced when the story ends..Now more than the marriage I was pleasantly surprised with the characterization of supriya, if kala would have been a good dutiful wife to someone isn't she be like her? I mean I don't intent to say that your characterization of supriya is inspired with kala but what I intend to imply is that the personality prescribed to sups is a personality that is bound to clash with dutta's and he has been avoiding it hard!..yup they are poles apart ..You are pointing the follies of the marriage or this woman in a very matured and a subtle manner, it's not like there was a man called dutta and he was not all happy with his marriage, you are not declaring the marriage a "failure' on the rooftop..neither am i saying that sups is all bad ..but you're making sure that readers get the point that it's not a "success" either..in other words they are not meant for each other ..had sups been anna's wife then this marriage would have been a success. What followed the first part was again too good *applause* firstly again a hint that supriya doesn't have a practice of speaking according to the mood of his husband, the 'thank you bit'' was clearly not the best thing to say at that point...lol..thanks I loved dutta supriya face off kahe ka face off it was only dutta..may be that's why u enjoyed it more ..sups bashing is something we all love 'lol. But I loved what he said or rather what you made him to say, like nakusha most of us are predujiced towards men and think that it's not that big deal for a man to switch s*x( see this time I maintained caution..yeah so much caution ..i can see that ) partner as it is for a woman...for a change i have given a lot of respect to all the men in this world ..lol..
And the symbolic sequence, too good the broken frame and bangles respectively in the right and left of him, you intentionally kept the bangles in the left..no no ..its just co incidence a beautiful one ? In hindu marriage wife is placed in the left of husband and what came later is my fav part of this whole ff issh issh issh..rofl ..shameless .. he under the shower who bhi hawt water..temperature is bound to rise as soon as he steps in that shower cubicle. No that was again a great sequence''honestly ..you are not the only shameless around ..me too..lol..i liked writing this scene a lot as i imagined everything in so much detail ...and especially the end where he doesn't wipes the mirror. Dutta has a habit of seeing himself under bad light, a very sadistic habbit, but he needs someone to constantly remind him that he isn't and supriya clearly in oblivious of this need of dutta. I quite like the part where dutta's story has been mentioned. Loved ur perspective towards dutta that at the end it's destiny who rules him no matter how much he like o believe that it's the other way round, he avoids nakusha to the core but he's bound to fell in love with her only'.oops not love it's ishq wala love!..you keep mentioning ishq wala love all the time and i keep thinking will it happen eventually ? will their love reach that point through my writing ???????
his tongue licked the droplets of sweat formed on his upper lip..arghh that was supposed to be a sexy scene and u found it funny ? u r impossible
I tried imagining him doing that it was really funny
Actually what used to transpire between them couldn't be named as love making but an exercise to produce a baby. Their interactions were devoid of love and passion..you are so glad to know that nah ..now does it make u feel better that they r married for 5 yrs
Joined: 27 September 2008
Joined: 27 September 2008
Supriya was chopping the almonds coarsely on the chopping board, the rhythmic and regular sound made with the chopping board caught nakusha's attention. Her eyes followed supriya's hands that were quickly and ruthlessly cutting those almonds.
" tayi ..yeh kya kar rahi hai?"
" ladoo bana rahi hoon." She replied without raising her head. Nakusha made a face on hearing her answer, she wasn't fond of sweets.
" tere liye bana rahin hoon..har roz doodh ke saath khana ..taaqat milegi." She added further. Nakusha gaped at her, now she was supposed to have milk and that too with ladoos! What a horrible combination.
" main nahin khayegi koi ladoo vadoo." She declared while picking up the tea pot to pour morning tea for herself. Supriya's eyes shot up as soon as nakusha refused, she was not used to of taking no for an answer therefore informed or reminded her," agle nau mahino tak ..tum kya khaogi ..kya nahin khaogi ..woh sab sirf main bataungi." Her words were firm and precise, sending across the message clearly. She passed on a glass of milk to nakusha and said," chai peeni ho toh sham ko peena magar din mein teen baar doodh peena hoga." Nakusha frowned at her, how dare she stop her from having tea and dictate her like this?
"nakusha subha chai piye bina nahin reh sakti." She declared pursing her lips. Supriya didn't care and indicated the servant who standing close to her to take the tea pot away. This annoyed nakusha more, clutching the glass of milk in her palm she stared at supriya who was busy mixing the almonds in the batter of gram flour, suji and ghee. Nakusha turned towards her right where dutta was sitting, today buttering the toast himself. She softened her expressions and looked at him expecting him to support her but he was too engrossed in his upcoming meeting to feel her gaze on himself.
" main kya doodh peeti bacchi hai jo har baat maane?" she complained like a child. Supriya was still not bothered whereas dutta's eyes moved from the glass of milk in her hand to her face, he was slightly amused to see her words not matching her actions. He took a bite of his toast. Nakusha realized what she'd said and what she was holding, immediately she left the glass. Dutta shook his head and stood up to leave with the toast in his hand, he had no time and interest to intervene between his over bearing wife and the lady who was bearing his child (a fact he still had to come to terms with). He had far more important things in his mind.
Dutta went through the legal papers one more time sitting under a tree on a wooden chair that creaked every time he shifted his weight. The papers were all in order and it shouldn't be a problem if the opposite party cooperated with him which was quite unlikely. He looked around at the vast expanse of land, it was indeed a very good property where the proposed shopping complex could be built.
" namaskaram ..namaskaram dutta bhau." He heard someone say and turned to look into the direction from where it was coming. A middle aged man with a south Indian accent stood before him in a spotless white safari suit which was in complete contrast to the black pathani that he was wearing.
" myself maleshawar anna." He lend his hand out across the table. Dutta clenched his jaws while glancing at the hand that was being offered to him then flopped the file in anna's direction. Anna adorned a fake smile on his face seeing dutta's arrogance, it infuriated anna to see someone sitting on his land and posing as if instead of him the other person owned it, nevertheless he maintained his composure and began the conversation.
" kya lenge ..tea/coffee?" he offered in an attempt to be hospitable with him.
"sirf aur sirf yeh zameen." Pat came dutta's reply. Anna's face lost its color however that grin was still there.
" dutta bhau ..main apko apni life de sakta hai..yeh land kya cheez hai? Par mere pass apke liye ek proposal hai." Dutta could see through his fake smile the devilish intentions in his mind and he allowed him to blurt those intentions.
" kyun na hum dono partnership mein yahan ek factory dalein?" anna suggested but before he could spell out the whole proposal, dutta intervened," drugs ka?" anna nodded his head instantly to which dutta shot him an ice cold stare and said," dutta shriram pail ke rehte PV mein drugs ka dhandha nahin hoga." Anna felt that his sweet talks and his hospitality were taking him nowhere, thus it was time to show dutta his true colors.
" yeh land mera hai..ispar kuch karne ke liye mere ko kisi ki permission nahin chaiye." Anna spoke while resting hands behind his head. It was a clash of titans with neither of them willing to bow down. Dutta gestured his advocate who'd come along with him to speak. The advocate gave an account of the whole situation. The piece of land had been collectively' mortgaged' not 'sold' to anna by the farmers of PV, thus technically anna was not the owner of the land. Dutta was willing to repay the debt on behalf of the farmers along with an extra ten percent of the cost of the land to anna if the land was transferred to dutta. The advocate placed a brief case containing the required amount with the necessary legal papers for anna to sign.
" nahin ..main yeh deal nahin manta." Anna said flaring his nostrils. Dutta slightly slipped down his chair making himself comfortable and replied," mere pass yeh zameen lene ke do raaste hain.. ya toh ek do phone karoon yahan ke MLA aur police ko aur teri drugs deal ke baare mein bataa doon ..ya phir teri life le loon jaisa tune kaha." He finished the last part of the sentence after leaning forward and gazing right into anna's wicked eyes. Anna was aware of the power and dominance that dutta possessed especially in PV. He was the enthroned king of this region and it would be really difficult for anna to create a niche for himself in this area forget of trying to dethrone him. Still he'd attempted to lure dutta into his drugs business only to gain his trust and eliminate him later. However the man sitting right across him was hell bent on foiling his plans which was making him furious. Anna narrowed his eyes and looked at him as he slowly took out a cell phone from his right pocket then a pistol from his left pocket and kept both of them on the table for anna to choose. There was a gang of around 7-8 hefty men dressed in black tee and jeans standing behind dutta with guns in their hands. Waiting for a signal from dutta to pull the triggers.
" paseena ponch kar ..paper sign kar de." Dutta suggested. He took the small yellow towel hanging around his neck to wipe off the moisture on his face, no he wasn't nervous or frightened of him, the bright sun was making him sweaty, anna told himself. Anna carefully weighed his options, if he refused him then he would put him behind bars and he'd rot in jail for life or as it was amply clear that he'd butcher him into pieces and let the street dogs devour him without anybody getting the slightest of hint that a man called 'anna' ever existed on the face of this earth. Anna gulped the lump down his throat and thought, if today he signed the papers, took the money and left then probably he'd get the chance to get back to him sooner or later which he would definitely. He took the pen and scribbled his signature on those papers. Dutta stood up at once, grabbed the papers and turned on his heel to leave without caring to meet those murderous eyes.
Nakusha turned on the gas stove to heat the milk, right milk! She couldn't believe that she'd given in to supriya but then supriya was right, the next nine months of her life belonged to her. supriya was paying her to carry that baby in her womb. Nakusha touched her belly and felt that supriya was doing all this to have a healthy baby, technically once he/she would come into this world then eventually supriya would be the mother, she'd nurture the child so if she was doing this from the onset then what was the harm. Nakusha opened the lid of a steel container and gazed at its contents 'ladoos' she couldn't help making a face. Turning off the stove she poured the hot milk in a glass when she heard some footsteps from behind. Dutta came in the kitchen, glanced at her back then shifted his gaze to the fridge. Opening it he took out a bowl of rice and a bowl lentil then transferred some of them on a plate. He turned to walk out but stopped in his tracks on hearing her.
" main khana garam kar deti hai." She offered while looking at him from the corner of her eye. He nodded a no and took a step forward only to be stopped again.
" do minute lagenge." She said after walking up to him. Seeing him stare back at her with a serious expression she slowly brought her hands up and took the plate from him. He didn't protest and went out in the hall. The dining area was dark and silent as always, he didn't bother to switch on the light and sat on the chair with his head low. Minutes later he saw a tray in front of him with hot rice and lentils along with two glasses, one had water and the other had milk. He wrinkled his face on seeing milk.
" yeh mere liye hai." She informed him and picked up the glass of milk. She looked at him and then at the empty chairs around him, he definitely wouldn't appreciate her accompanying him for dinner but her aayi had taught her not leave alone a person who was having his meal, its inappropriate. As per her aayi someone who has food alone is the most lonely one around and he was clearly one of them. When we have a meal with somebody we not just share food but we also share our feelings with the other person, we exchange the events of the day and thus spend some quality time with each other. Taking her glass she sat on a sofa in the hall that was right across the dining table. He took a spoonful in his mouth and saw her sitting in front of him, he'd thought that she'd retire to her room like others but she didn't. Her wish and he was least bothered about it.
" sahab ..dal mein namak kam hai." She said all of a sudden on remembering that a few hours back when she'd tasted the dish it was completely bland. He frowned at her as if she was speaking some alien language.
" dal main namak nahin hai..saalt ..SAALT." this time she told him loudly. Her English was weirdly amusing, he shoved his hand in the air, how the food tasted it hardly mattered to him. He ate only to survive and not to enjoy. She drank half the glass then opened her palm and saw the ladoo, as soon as she took a bite he cocked his brow, she thought he wouldn't notice but he did. Taking the rest of it also in her mouth she could barely speak clearly still she defended herself after keeping her hand on her stomach, " taayi ne samjhaya ..iske liye accha hai." His eyes moved where her hand was placed and stayed there for some seconds. The pulse in his neck throbbed rapidly, he dropped the spoon, pushed aside the plate and marched towards the bar making her wonder, had she by mistake touched his wrong nerve?
Thanks for reading
next part http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=3234274&PID=70816704�
Joined: 17 March 2011
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