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The surname fuss: A married woman's predicament!

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Posted: 08 October 2012 at 10:39pm | IP Logged
A majority of married women across the globe face a never-ending, never-subsiding trauma of changing their last names to their husband's surnames. Though some are lucky enough to bypass the cultural radar by opting to retain their maiden names, there are those who are left with no choice but to append their male spouse's surnames to their first names. Inasmuch as we beat around the bush and throw the cultural tantrums around, we cannot deny the fact that such rituals are synonymous to involuntary slavery. When such biased, one-sided morals and virtues can be shoved down a woman's throat, why can't men be made to observe such traditions, at least in part?

Please debate.

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Posted: 09 October 2012 at 12:56am | IP Logged
I don't think women should be forced to adopt surname. If you want to keep your existing surname, keep it. Smile

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Posted: 09 October 2012 at 4:19am | IP Logged
And where did that existing surname came from? Father or Mother? lol.
 
- On individual scale one still has the right to change their maiden name or not take the surname legally if I am not mistakes
 
- On level of society we cannot go back now as the whole system is built around it. It is like English language which has  became the medium to communicate among different people. Even if we don't like it to change it will be a problem.
 
- On principle, I see your point. lol.


Edited by King-Anu - 09 October 2012 at 4:23am

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PocketThe-Voice

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Posted: 09 October 2012 at 5:29am | IP Logged
Originally posted by King-Anu

And where did that existing surname came from? Father or Mother? lol.
 
- On individual scale one still has the right to change their maiden name or not take the surname legally if I am not mistakes
 
- On level of society we cannot go back now as the whole system is built around it. It is like English language which has  became the medium to communicate among different people. Even if we don't like it to change it will be a problem.
 
- On principle, I see your point. lol.


From the father, I suppose. But I see your point.

Since it's the sperm that fertilizes the egg, should the male parent or spouse be given the authority to dictate the terms?
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Posted: 09 October 2012 at 5:33am | IP Logged

I dont think, a person's identity depends on a surnames...I know some people who use to say,''I liked my husband's surname more'' ...One practical difficulty, If anyone want to go outside india, or what about getting visa from outside countries ? For traveling on " spouses visa " claiming visa by virtue of her husband' s visa status , one of the cardinal points foreign countries check is whether in the visa application , husband's name has been taken by the wife a her last name or surname . If not, "spouse" visa could be refused. but she can apply separately and obtain tourist visa for limited period ...government of India shld take up this matter through diplomatic channels and incorporate the spirit of the Indian Law in respect of changing / taking names by women after marriage..Smile

 
The other question is, Men should be allowed to use wife's maiden surname after marriage and and even after divorce??!?!?!Big smile

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The-Voice

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Posted: 09 October 2012 at 5:45am | IP Logged
I've never liked the idea. Simply because in historical times, and probably even now, its looked upon as a sign of ownership, which makes a woman sound like a piece of property. I believe it should be one's choice, the ones that are pro changing last name should go ahead and do so, while the ones that aren't should have a choice not to.
Personally, I don't believe in these traditions and rituals, so wouldn't change mine. Unless ofcourse, the sole purpose of marrying one is their last name. ;)

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Posted: 09 October 2012 at 7:34am | IP Logged
Xaffron, I do not think this has got anything to do with sperm or egg. lol. It is might is right type of mindset. Since the society in general has always been men dominated it is they who have set the rules and now they have become so common (passport, IDs, school register) that very difficult to go back now.
 
Prometeus, wife's maiden surname would be her father's name or father's family name. Now imgaine a man taking his father in-law's name instead of father's name lol.
 
What can happen is that husband adds his wife's name.
 
Example
 
Ajay Devgun becomes Ajay Kajol
Shahrukh khan becomes Shahrukh Gauri
Amitabh Bachan becomes Amithab Jaya
 
Now I don't know much more about who has married whom. lol.
 
Some information from Wiki
 
"Historically, a woman in England would assume her new husband's family name (or surname) after marriage, and this remains common practice in the United Kingdom today as well as in common law countries and countries where English is spoken, including Australia, New Zealand, Pakistan, Gibraltar, Falkland Islands, Ireland, India, Philippines, the English-speaking provinces of Canada, and the United States. This remains the most common practice in the United States. In Massachusetts, for instance, a Harvard study found approximately 87% of married college educated women take their husbands' name down from a peak before 1975 of over 90% but up from about 80% in 1990"
 


Edited by King-Anu - 09 October 2012 at 7:38am

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Posted: 09 October 2012 at 8:33am | IP Logged

I never understood the tradition of changing names. Many people in my grandmothers generation didn't just change last names, but first names as well. Irrespective of who our names come from, our name has been ours from childhood to adult life. It is a part of identity and one should not have to change it. To me the thought of changing my last name is inconceivable.  Not just is it unfair, it is such a hassle. Submit official name change forms. Update all your social networks. Update your banks, credit cards, wireless provider, employer, retirement account, voter registration, drivers license and registration – it is a pain in the ass that's not even worth anything.

 

I would be open to hyphenated last names if my spouse will also hyphenate theirs. The children will also have hyphenated last names. But what if children with hyphenated names marry each other. So hypothetically a Rai-Bacchan were to marry a Arora-Khan they would become Rai-Bacchan-Arora-Khan, and what if they in turn marry someone with quadruple hyphens? The Sri Lankans will have a run for their money with long names.

 

Some people are doing away with family names and giving their kids neutral names at birth. So John Doe does not name his kids Jane John Doe & James John Doe. He names them Jane Shannon Rose and James Michael Ryan or something like that.  Eventually, many decades down the road, I think names passed through generations may slowly fade away. But who knows.

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