When you told me to leave, i felt like i couldn't breath -- Ben C
It was just another day, another hour, another minute, and another second of his life, he was living. Grabbing the disposable cup from the counter and handing over the due fee to the cashier, he strode over to the side of the elevators. Standing there in his sharp-looking, and well-fitted - stark navy blue Armani three piece suit, except the the coat was strung over his left arm in a negligent manner. While waiting for the elevator - he mentally went over this week's schedule. There was a merger meet with the Mehta's, dinner with the Malhotra's, Lavanya's G----
His thoughts were inadvertently left hanging, when his cell phone rang, '' Arnav Singh Raizada, speaking! '' He confronted the person at the other warily -- And before any other
words could simply make way from his lips, the plastic cup slipped out of his
nimble fingers, landing with a loud thud on the floor, spilling the piping hot
liquid everywhere. And it felt like time froze; nothing was making any sense,
the rough voice at the other end despairing with seconds, and tremor was
jolting down his spine threatening to overcome him.
'' Arnav, are you still there? '' The person called out through the
other end,
their beseeching voice hurling towards the man who had now become
unconscious
to his surroundings, standing there like a stone. A deep intensity of
emotions shot through him, leaving him in a haze, and mercifully
afraid.
Now, is not the time to break down!! Arnav rehearsed to himself, like a
silent prayer. He broke free from the internal dread and focused his attention
back to the phone call, '' I am coming '' And with that, the phone was back in
his pocket. His steps were quick and measured, soon he was out of the building.
His mind was leading him back to the locked away memories, he had so preciously
hid from others, including himself at times. And now those same memories
seemingly were colliding with his today.
He kept himself from crying out loud, shivers surrounded his entire body, heart
thumping at a faster rate, parched breaths dying with quicker steps.Tears tried
so hard to form, but he couldn't let himself feel the depth of the misery
that had taken an inclination within him.
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When the door pulled open, Arnav's eyes instantly found her, everyone else in
the room disappeared from his vision. He saw her, and only her. She looked the
same to him, except now she was surrounded by mounds of wires, tubes and
machines.However even those instruments did not do anything to detract from her
beauty. She looked just as lovely as the first time he had met her. And the memory
of their first collision still brought a vigorous smile to his lips. She had
flogged him. Yes, flogged him with her hockey stick when they had first met - of course, accidentally , as
she liked to recall that incident.
And now she was lying away on that; cold, white, sterile bed, watching him
keenly with those same huge beguiling eyes of hers. Her eyes called out to him,
and his feet of their own accord moved in her direction.
Landing up at her side, Arnav extended his hand outward to touch her, but he
was afraid. She looked so fragile; like one of those ancient china dolls that
could break with a touch. It scared him to see her like this, he was so used to
seeing a lively and filled with life girl.
Everyone else in the room took the cue, and silently lined up to leave the
room. Nani retreated first, the rest of the Raizada's followed
along.
'' How long, Khushi? '' He asked breathlessly, as if he had been holding his
breath this entire time.
''..You came... back'' She answered with a hesitation, it was clear there was
discomfort in her speech. Her hand lifted slowly, the attached wires tagging along
as she reached for him.
Arnav closed his eyes slowly when the pain threatened to pronounce itself. He
took her hand into his own, softly caressing it, '' Was there any reason to
doubt otherwise. I always said i would''
Khushi smiled ruefully, and shook her head with the little strength she had
left, '' I didn't know if there was...a'' her dried lips closed, as she tried
to summon enough vigor to speak properly ''...an expiry date on that offer''
Khushi completed once she was sure she could spell out the words properly.
Arnav watched her struggling to maintain her speech, and felt helpless before
her. He leaned down slightly to her level, placing his lips delicately on the
backside of her hand, '' Never. You were. You are. You ---''
'''No...Arnav...'' Khushi warned immediately, cutting into his words, '' Arnav,
nothing has changed...'' She reprimanded him with her eyes, watery eyes,
which begged for him to stop and not to utter another word that may bring forth
the closed doors of the past.
Looking up, he met her solemn gaze, and nodded, '' How are you feeling?''
Smiling, she relaxed, fighting the urge to close her eyes as
heavy lids weighed down on her, '' I have felt better --'' turning her head
around, she delicately entwined her hand within his, '' Thank you for coming. I
wanted a last goodbye''
Arnav could have wished those were the words he did not ever have to hear. But
they had been said, and by her also, the one person who lived her whole
life with each breath she was given.
Raising his head slightly, he abhorred her words, '' Don't ever say that. You
are not going anywhere''
''Arnav, i have to''
Shaking his head, Arnav deluded himself into thinking otherwise. It was
impossible to let go of her, the memories they shared, the moments that had
been theirs, how did one let go of a part of them? Khushi owned a part
of him, he could not let her slip away just like that.
She looked so pale, lifeless to be exact. However to him, she was the old Khushi.
Her almond shaped eyes, now drained and circled with shadows. But they
still held a spark to them, it was something that always called to him. Her
dried tears, traced down her sullen cheeks. Though a hint of rose still arose
from them. Lips dried and cracked, however still holding themselves to that ever so
full smile of her. The white washed walls tried to cage in her beauty, but
it was impossible to hold in such a striking captivity.
''I am sorry'' Arnav whispered quietly, his eyes begging for forgiveness.
Leaning in, he placed his head upon her hand, '' Khushi, i am so sorry. If
only...''
''Arnav look at me'' Khushi commanded with a direct tone, anger evident in her
voice. He coincided with her request and looked up, waiting for her to
continue, '' I was never the one. It was always Lavanya''
''I love you'' He voice deliberately, aware it might not make any difference
now, '' I was stupid. I was foolish. And I was ...''
''A, Laad Governor?'' Khushi completed with a smiled, breaking into a extended cough. Her lungs contracted, and breaths heaved out of her as if they
might be her last.
Arnav immediately rushed to the small desk, pouring water into a glass. He was
by her side in seconds, '' Here --'' But fortunately by then her coughing had
subsided.
''This won't help now'' She spoke candidly, eying the glass in his hand. Rest
assured she was trying to make light of the moment, but there were just so many
compressed emotions that were looking for a way out, ''I need you, come'' she
motioned towards the bed. Placing the glass on the table, Arnav dejectedly
joined her on the bed, carefully lying by her side. Khushi snuggled up to him,
placing her arm across his chest, and closed her eyes, '' Promise me
something'' She asked, tilting her chin up, meeting his gaze.
Arnav was quick to reply back, '' Anything...'' soothingly he pushed back her
fringe, eying her keenly.
''Promise me, that you will forget me''
Arnav leaned in to kiss her forehead, he replied, '' When you could have asked
for anything else. You asked for something,so, impossible...so irreversible. I cannot control my
feelings for you. They are not mines -- they own me. And, If these past years
could not change how i feel about you -- then neither would a lifetime align with
my feelings for you''
'' But, you were the one who let me go'' Khushi accused, warily, hiding her
face in his chest. He could feel her tears stain his shirt, the slithering
warmth seeping into his shirt. Arnav Singh Raizada, felt impotent and
vulnerable.
If he had known, the moment he chose to distrust his love would come
with such
a heavy price, Arnav would have retracted his words right that moment.
But fate
had such a way of making itself evident, that only after the crime had
been
committed, would the punishment make itself evident. And similar had
happened
to Arnav, he had told her to leave his life. And she had begged
relentlessly
for him to believe her, place his faith in the love they shared. But
Arnav had
become blind in his rage that, he only saw what he felt right. He saw
that his wife in the arms of another and forgot his sanity --- Khushi
bore the brunt of his
crude words, horrible maligns, and even silently swallowed the
separation
he announced. He left her feeling alone and worthless, the same man who
had
once promised her the whole world. Even though she had the support of
his entire family, her world shattered right before her own eyes. And
she could do nothing by watch.
Whereas Arnav built himself another
world
somewhere far away from her, with another woman. And no sooner did the
truth make itself evident to him -- that he ran back to the same Khushi,
he had vehemently tossed out from his life. But she had nothing to give
him anymore, for everything she had, he had taken with her long before.
Khushi told him to return to his life, and move on just as he had
wished too. However Arnav could never move on from his one mistake that
cost him everything, that meant anything in his life. He lived with
Lavanya, but his heart always belonged to Khushi. He built a house with
Lavanya, but his home was always with Khushi.
''I know!'' Arnav stressed, '' I know! I was stupid -- I became a typical man''
Khushi was about the respond when a striking pain burst through her insides,
leaving her in shivers. She instantly grasped Arnav's hand, reeling in the pain,
'' I didn't know, if you were going to come'' Khushi confessed, still mellowing
from the after effects of what despaired within her. Her body was was leaving
her, she could feel it piece by piece. It was almost time.
'' Why didn't you call earlier?'' Arnav murmured, into her jet black tresses.
Khushi choose to ignore the question, and held onto him tighter, '' I need you
to do something for me'' she voiced , making Arnav aware of her agony. He
could hear the strain in her voice, as she tried hard to speak to him.
''Don't say anything'' He hushed her silently with his eyes, but khushi was not
khushi, if she didn't have the last say.
'' Arnav, you have to free me of this pain''
Even if Arnav chose to ignore what her words meant, he could not ignore the
creeping alarm at what she had just voiced. She was leaving him, again. He shook his head, cradling her
head upon his shoulder, '' I can't...''
''Arnav -- I need to breath'' She pleaded, lightly touching his arm with her
trembling hands. She knew what she was asking of him, but it didn't make any
difference. He was here, she was in his arms, and this was her small little
world. Nothing else mattered, now even death was welcomed with opened arms.
''Khushi...i can't...''
'' When you left, you took my breaths with you...but now i don't need them, i have you.''
Sitting up, Arnav cupped her face with both of his hands, she looked so small
and delicate. He could not possibly do what she was asking of him, '' Please
set me me free'' She begged him, gasping for breath, weeping mildly, tears trailing down her translucent cheeks.
''Khushi, don't do this''
Khushi shook her head, urging him. Arnav realized for the first time in life,
khushi was asking for something. It was not in his nature, to ask for herself.
But today, she was pleading for this one last wish. And he was still being
selfish -- keeping her from her breaths.
''Give me this last wish''
He nodded, shaking himself to stop the water from pooling in his eyes. The tears that had fought there way out -- now mitigated from within. Commanding himself to set a control on his emotions, Arnav gently
leaned into her. The misery poured out of him in gushes and his lips
meddled with her soft ones
blissfully, tasting her. He breathed in her scent, '' Lavender'' he
breathed. Khushi relaxed against him, and Arnav reached for the machine, pulling the wires one by one.
And within seconds, the lines started to decline slowly and slowly, just as
khushi's breaths started to dry out. He lay with her in silence, counting
her last few breaths, watching her leave right before his eyes. And
when a straight line beeped across the monitor, echoing into the silence, Arnav sighed heavily against her limp
body, soft muffles erupting from within . She was finally breathing.
[YOUTUBE]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DthUgRl15yc[/YOUTUBE]
I was inspired by this song while writing this OS :)
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I seriously do not have words to explain this OS - because its a rapid influence of my wild imagination. And this is dedicated to Simi, consider this your Birthday Present. You requested a OS that was gut - clenching sad, i hope this is sad enough for you?
I hope you like it :)
Would love to know your thoughts or opinions upon it. Do comment or Like :)
My Index - -arnavkhushi.myriad parallels-
Shiz :]
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