Love Marriage ya Arranged Marriage

   

DC: Same old bahu

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Armu4eva

Coolbie

Armu4eva

Joined: 26 November 2009

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Posted: 06 October 2012 at 1:25pm | IP Logged

The same old bahu

The same old bahu

Ho! Hum! Yet another dreary week in the world of soaps. In the serial, Love Marriage ya Arranged Marriage, the saasu ma is a control freak who wants the bahus to dance to her tunes. When the younger bahu steps out to work on the sly, she is issued an ultimatum — stay indoors and serve saasu ma or get out with hubby and never return. Now what would a sensible new-age girl do, opt for the latter, right? But then how will a show that feeds on dated values

garner TRPs from India's heartland? So, the bahu consults her parents, who hide their financial hardships and insist that she quit working and slave at saasu ma's feet. Regressive? The message that women should stay at home is further reinforced in Diya Aur Baati Hum, where the well-educated protagonist yearns to study further and even saves her domestic help from being blown up by her bomb. And what does she get in return? A saasu ma who fusses over her, but clearly adds salt and not just haldi to her wounds by softly muttering that she prefers her bahu to utilise her intelligence within the four walls of their home.

And of course these simpering and cloying sweet women dutifully bend their heads and agree. Where's the fire or the spirit to fight back? There is surely nothing wrong in being traditional or a homemaker if that's what the character desires, but to force women to a life of domesticity and reinforce this message through dominating mother-in-laws is surely not benefitting those women who deal with such battles everyday.

Not just this, in Kya Hua Tera Waada, the pendulum swings to the other extreme, where the over zealous in-laws want to get their wronged daughter-in-law married. Sure, they deserve brownie points for this decision but they don't care about the fact that the divorce papers are not yet signed. Their ex-bahu-turned beti gets the papers on her engagement day. And yes, the marriage is over, but the lady carps about her mangalsutra in a dreary monologue and frankly deserves two tight slaps! So it's left to ex-mum-in-law to plead her to remove her mangalsutra minutes before another engagement ring is slipped onto her finger. Regressive? Because the character is made to feel guilty about opting for a remarriage; what's worse, she is not ready for this new relationship. But her needs are trampled upon by the channel that wants to project its evolved stance. Female characters continue to be either shrews or spineless!

Where is the middle path?

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ShanUlas

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ShanUlas

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Posted: 06 October 2012 at 1:54pm | IP Logged
thanks dear

btw who is the writer i just want to congratulate him for being bold enough to bring out the issues which nobody cares in present trp race

the channels cater what a middle call household and saasu maa wants...and bahus just do what their household wants happy or unhappy who cares women are born to sacrifice ain't they!!

they are either showed shrewd or spineless with no middle path Sigh !

Even in LMYAM i just watch Sahil Anoop scenes and shivi mansi together and skip as soon as Rajlaxmo torture comes on screen Dead

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sahilshivi

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Posted: 06 October 2012 at 2:52pm | IP Logged
agree with the article tv shows are not at all letting Indian Woman grow...they too propogate the same idea that all traditional middle class people want...never let women think of herself...let her think of people around.Stern Smile

Sometimes I feel women are expected to be inborn Mahatma Gandhi,working and dying for well being of others...and if they dont do so they are called house breakers selfish shrewd...nobody ever thinks of middle path Unhappy

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ShazzieSurish

Shazzie

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Posted: 07 October 2012 at 1:03am | IP Logged
Soo true! It is soo disheartening to see that in 21st century, this is propogated on indian telly. Forget about promoting education, upliftment and independence of woman, it is other way around and woman are reduced to getting all decked up and make food for their husbands and deal with shrewd saasumaas. I understand that a married woman has to look after her family, kids but why does she need to sacrifice her career, and her aspirations for that. What about maintaining a balance between personal & professional life. Why is that a working woman is shown as a shrewd vamp and a house-maker is a good simple girl.. Why is everything so black and white in telly world.

Thanks for sharing. Excellent article. Dont know when will this regressive portrayal of women stop in indian telly.

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ShanUlas

IF-Sizzlerz

ShanUlas

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Posted: 07 October 2012 at 1:20am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Shals9

Soo true! It is soo disheartening to see that in 21st century, this is propogated on indian telly. Forget about promoting education, upliftment and independence of woman, it is other way around and woman are reduced to getting all decked up and make food for their husbands and deal with shrewd saasumaas. I understand that a married woman has to look after her family, kids but why does she need to sacrifice her career, and her aspirations for that. What about maintaining a balance between personal & professional life. Why is that a working woman is shown as a shrewd vamp and a house-maker is a good simple girl.. Why is everything so black and white in telly world.

Thanks for sharing. Excellent article. Dont know when will this regressive portrayal of women stop in indian telly.


Thats so rightly said  Shels I have seen  in most of the serial where bahus are shown working they are mostly portrayed selfish and shrewd while housewives are painted all simple good girls.

But Shals I think the shows are made from the housewives and saasu maa point of view ,the one who live at home mostly as they are the actual viewers of the show.Its appalling to see that the housewives and non working saasu maas paint working women so terribly.

May its a communication gap as working women dont get much time to talk and so are misunderstood Ouch

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Shazzie

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Posted: 07 October 2012 at 1:37am | IP Logged
Originally posted by shana0127

Originally posted by Shals9

Soo true! It is soo disheartening to see that in 21st century, this is propogated on indian telly. Forget about promoting education, upliftment and independence of woman, it is other way around and woman are reduced to getting all decked up and make food for their husbands and deal with shrewd saasumaas. I understand that a married woman has to look after her family, kids but why does she need to sacrifice her career, and her aspirations for that. What about maintaining a balance between personal & professional life. Why is that a working woman is shown as a shrewd vamp and a house-maker is a good simple girl.. Why is everything so black and white in telly world.

Thanks for sharing. Excellent article. Dont know when will this regressive portrayal of women stop in indian telly.


Thats so rightly said Shels I have seen in most of the serial where bahus are shown working they are mostly portrayed selfish and shrewd while housewives are painted all simple good girls.

But Shals I think the shows are made from the housewives and saasu maa point of view ,the one who live at home mostly as they are the actual viewers of the show.Its appalling to see that the housewives and non working saasu maas paint working women so terribly.

May its a communication gap as working women dont get much time to talk and so are misunderstood Ouch



I agree that their main audience is home-makers and their dependence on TRPs force PH to show the same saas-bahu crap again n again. This is the reason that shows like DEK which was not about saas bahu was axed whereas shows like diya baati and yeh rishta who show kitchen politics are still going strong. Its a vicious circle. PH wont portray independent and strong women because of audience and in a way promote such behavior in the audience. So, the viewers will adopt such regressive behavior and a woman standing up for her own aspirations is looked upon as selfish vamp.

This was the reason why I stopped watching all those ekta kapoor serials promoting ideal woman as one who sacrifices her own self and her own wishes to cook food and make her saasumaa happy. Its soo weird that in reality CV's, dialog writers, and PH are run by strong independent business woman but they wont DARE to show that reality in serials that they are producing.

Guess I got carried away and started ranting about this frustration .

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ShanUlasSurish

ShanUlas

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ShanUlas

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Posted: 07 October 2012 at 4:12am | IP Logged
@Shals thats a real irony the PH and channels are run by strong independent women but they dare not show the real face of working women Confused who is often strong independent yet giving if u really see in her heart,after all at the end of the day she is a woman who are giving by nature 

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Posted: 07 October 2012 at 4:18am | IP Logged
tfs Rajlaxmi scares the bejeezus out of me!... I don't find anything wrong with working to support your parents if they need any help. Somehow I believe Sahil should've stepped in between and tried to make his mom see sense. If he can work to support his house and his family then why can't Shivani do the same for her family??

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