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Destiny[FF]: Part 11 updated pg 27

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bhuvana90

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bhuvana90

Joined: 27 September 2012

Posts: 207

Posted: 06 October 2012 at 5:10am | IP Logged
Confused..
my expression was the same as above when i was to fill the subject column...
i have a story in mind...and had done a lot of paper work too..D'oh but really couldnt find an appropriate name for it...Ouch...
  by the way... it is a short story...with the leads to be aarti and yash.Big smile..
but the story is totally different ...Wink...
 
i will just give an epilogue kind of a paragraph...Smile
please help me in selecting a title for my story...Thumbs Up
so i hope you people would post ur suggestions,so that i could pick one,
or rather editWink one of them...
hey of course i will continue it only if you want me to... Embarrassed
anybody against it could be free to tell me...

thank you.






Part 5              Precap


Part 7              Teaser 



Part 10         page 24

Part 11          page 27


Edited by bhuvana90 - 09 December 2013 at 10:10am

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bhuvana90

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bhuvana90

Joined: 27 September 2012

Posts: 207

Posted: 06 October 2012 at 5:29am | IP Logged
Introduction:
     
 It would be casual kind of a love story that could really happen with anyone of us...Day Dreaming.
        
             The heroine of my story will be a typical south Indian modern girl,who has a very different views about life and life style...Smile...
her grand parents who were actually natives of south India,got settled in Mumbai... long ago... her parents moved back to their native place to conserve their hereditary property as their ancestors passed away... she will go to mumbai for her studies.
       
              Hero would be a normal modern but a very reserved boy,who was born and brought up in mumbai. He doesn't share his feelings even with his best ones...loves to be lonely... he loves his family and somebody else alsoWink...which will be revealed later as the story goes on...
      
                These two are destined to fall in love in my story.

So now my friends... i heartily welcome your suggestionsSmile...hey dont take me wrong... 
i would pick up or edit the one which i feel would be more suitable for the storySmile...
i hope you people dont mind.Big smile...

Thank youSmile.


Edited by bhuvana90 - 06 October 2012 at 5:49am

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KrantiGuru_JKR

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Posted: 06 October 2012 at 6:03am | IP Logged
i m very bad at suggesting name still i will try 

it may be  " THEIR DESTINY "

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bhuvana90KS1000kholita

gcluv

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gcluv

Joined: 10 April 2012

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Posted: 06 October 2012 at 7:54am | IP Logged
very interesting 
please continue 
you ask to suggest a name . fine, though i am very bad in it .
how about  " LOVE CONNECTION "

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taahir004

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Posted: 06 October 2012 at 11:36am | IP Logged
Bubbly and yet lonely

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Manali_IamGCian

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Posted: 06 October 2012 at 12:21pm | IP Logged
it sounds intresting, cont. soon!!
i suggest the name " Koi  Kashish Si Hai "

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bhuvana90

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bhuvana90

Joined: 27 September 2012

Posts: 207

Posted: 08 October 2012 at 1:29am | IP Logged

Cool..Hi friendsSmile. This is the first part i'm updating.Big smile ...

the part in italics was flashback. and i've given the conversation of parents in Hindi itself as i felt that would suit them the most.Big smile... moreover i cant imagine Gayathri speaking in english...LOLWink...

Part 1(A):

"OMG we are already hr late", shouted somebody loudly ,which woke her up from sleep. She slided over to the other side and peeped down, it was very calm now. She tried to make out the time(of the day)seeing through the window, but could not as the windows  were covered with curtains. She was then back to her senses that she had a lavish watch on her hand and could indeed have a look on it instead of this perception. It showed 5:30, she then got relaxed and moved back to her position thinking she had 2 more hours to pack up.

She was on the left upper birth of a 1st AC coach of a train heading towards Mumbai. The train was to reach there by 7:00 AM. It was hr late late as somebody said, so she simply added to make it 2 hrs more to sleep. She immediately fell asleep.

She woke up as her mobile rang, looked at her watch and wondered how fast two hours have passed. She answered the call saying "Good Morning Mom".

Mom: Aarti where are you? Reached Mumbai? Got down? Found Him?

A: Maa wait!! Let me speak too'

M: okay, go on.

A: Hmm, we didn't reach mom, it takes another hr may be'(said she trying to get down.)

M: What! 1 hr late???  Exclaimed her mom, as if she just saw a Big Black Cobra near her foot.

Aarti  laughed at her mom's expression. 

Then her dad took the receiver and said, "I have insisted you to the the flight but you didn't, it will be very irritating and boring in the train"

A: no dad, it's a lot of fun travelling in a train, I'm really enjoying'.and got confused finding uncle staring at her ' but she understood that is bcoz she called this 'late' journey to be fun.

D: Fine then, enjoy' but let me know as you reach.

A: sure dad, bye.

It's 7:30,the train is very slow, she got seated beside the window,and smiled at everybody. aunty and didi were discussing about a designer who spoiled the dulhan's joda in a shaadi they were returning from. She neither found it worth, nor interesting for her to get involved in their discussion. It felt boring and dragging. Aarti then thought "May be dad was right".

Aarti then turned to see uncle Chandulal walking to and fro restlessly,cursing the railway system. She was sure he has been doing the same since 5:30 AM' he looks so comical while doing so with a frusted face'..then with a slight smile on her lips, she murmured "May be I was right".

                             ...


"Newspaper'.., chai''.., samosa''.., coffee''', kripaya dhyan dijiye'''''" people were shouting without any gap.

" it's 7:45, the train should be here by 7:00 AM" said yash settling on a bench on PF-3 where the train is expected on, "if it had been, we would have reached home by now. Huh, nothing is going 'perfect' with these trains nowadays"'.  Saying so' he waited for the train as he had no other choice.


                                 ...


          " Hello Scindhia Ji , namasthey? How are you, how is gayathri ji?"

S: hello, Choudhary ji, Kaise hai aap? Aur shobha ji?

C: Ji hum theek hai! Hume aapki madath chahiye suraj ji! (yeah we r fine, we need your help)

S: ji zaroor, kahiye' (oh sure, tell me)

C: hamari beti aarti keliye' (for my daughter Aarti)

S: acha ji theek hain, zaroor..hum sab hai na yahaan pe, hum khayal rakhenge. .. Ji namasthey. (ohk fine, sure, not to worry, we'll take care, bye)

 Suraj pratap scindhia, had a pleasant smile on his face thinking of the conversation.

Gayathri who heard all the phone conversation asked him " kaun hai Ji?" ( who is it?)

S: Choudhary Ji ka phone hai, unki eti aarti ke bare mein baath karne keliye phone kiya tha.!! (it's chowdhary ji,he called to talk about his daughter Aarti)

G3: Aarti..!! (exclaimed she, recollecting when she first met her in a shaadi, that previous year. She liked her at her first sight itself, she was very fond of her lively nature, she immediately thought of yash that day, but'..) "Gayathri?"' said Suraj Pratap'finding her lost'

G3: Ji boliye. (ya tell me.)

S: Aarti ko Mumbai college mein MS ka seat mila, who yahaan aayegi 2 years keliye, choudhary Ji ne hame in 2yrs ko uski khayal rakhne keliye request karne phone kiya tha. (Aarti got a sat in mumbai college, she'll stay here for 2 years, C ji is requesting us to take care of Aarti for the 2 yrs)

G3: Zaroor ji, request karne ki kya zaroorath hain, hamara farz bhi tho bantha hai na..hamari family friends jo hain, aur waise bhi bahuth achi, samajdar ladki hain Aarti. (oh sure, what's need for him to request us, we are family friends afterall, and also aarti is a very understanding and nice girl)

S: ha ye baath tho hain. Woh barso din aayegi  Mumbai, hume usse receive karna hain. (yep you are rite, she'll come day after, we gotta receive her)

G3: Yash ko hi saup dijiye ga ye kaam (let Yash to do it). Suraj frowned a little.

G3: mathlab, Yash tho theek se karega aur kuch bhi nahi kahega. (i mean, he does it rite)

S: okay. 

Gayathri felt very relieved and excited as she felt something good would happen with Aarti's Mumbai trip.


I am stopping it here friends, let me know your views, and now after this part, I expect more title suggestions for this storySmile. I would love get more likesWink and comments on this. Ofcourse any other advices, or comments with respect to any corrections to be made are also welcome...Big smileBig smile

I would update next part very soon...Smile

by the way, I liked the suggestions given very much... just waiting for the best suited one. thanks to everybody who had responded for my post...Hug



Edited by bhuvana90 - 19 October 2012 at 10:03am

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Manali_IamGCian

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Posted: 08 October 2012 at 2:07am | IP Logged
Intresting part, liked it.
waiting for next part, AarYa meetingWink

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bhuvana90

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