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SS: Pyaar Ishq Mohabbat: Part 4 Page 3

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ezria

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ezria

Joined: 27 September 2012

Posts: 14

Posted: 05 October 2012 at 1:50pm | IP Logged
Just another fan fiction! Came in to my mind and i penned it.

Ram lost case with priya and now, he had to invite her to his house so that he can spend time with peehu. Priya walked in to find everyone waiting for her in KM except Ram. As she walked in, everyone hugged her, especially daadi, who missed her companion in every naughty deed. Rishab got his good friend, his bhabhi back and he cant wait to hang out with her.

Ram walked in to the hall from his room and scooped up peehu in his arms and totally ignored priya. She had tears in her eyes but totally controlled them. She did not want to make a mess out of it infront of everyone.

Ram: Come on Peehu, i will take you to my room, our room.

Peehu: Our matlab? Main, mumma aur aap?

Ram: No beta, I, you, khush and your ayesha maa.

Peehu: Kya? Mumma ka naam Priya hai. Papa aap toh yeh bhi nahi jaante?

Ram: Haan mujhe pata hai aap ke mumma ka naam priya hai lekin ayesha bhi aapka mumma hai. Dekho aap kitne lucky ho, aap ke do do mumma hai.

Peehu sees ayesha and smirks.

Peehu: papa, yeh wahi aunty hai jinhonne mera dress cheen liya that. Mujhe bohot daraya iss ne aur shop owner se kahan ki he sould not sell me the dress. Iss ne shop owner dhamki bhi diya. I hate her papa. Mujhe isse dekh ke dar lagta hai.

Peehu ran to priya and repeated the same thing.
Priya bent down to peehu's level and told her not to say such things - bad manners!

Peehu: mumma, mujhe aap ke saath sona hai.

Ram gets an irritating look at this. He diverts the topic by telling peehu that he got aloo ka parantha for her. Peehu rushes with him and Daadi shows priya the guest room. 

Few days pass. Priya tries to talk to ram and explain but he is in his own land of anger. When they come across each other, ram just glares at her with anger burning in his eyes and walks away.

In the same time, while ram kept using ayesha, ayesha got wrong signals. She is on the top of the world thinking that now no one can reunite ram and priya since ram hates her now.

One fine day, Karthik walks in to KM with Veer, priya's childhood friend. They were together right from their kindergarten to until the moment veer had to join his service as an air force officer. His mission was successful and when he came back, whe went to sharma house the first to get to know about priya's whereabouts. Veer and priya were unseparable. They were BEST of friends. He got to know from karthik that she married ram kapoor and is now living there.

Veer spots priya but she doesnt see him at first. Ram is reading newspaper sitting on the couch.

Veer: Priyuuu...

He shouts and runs to her and hugs her tightly lifting her up.

Priya: VEER???? Tum kab aaye?

Here on the other side ram is startled and angry. Priya and veer went into her room and priya explained him all the things that happened and how ram doesn't love her anymore. Ram, who standing out of the door listening to their conversation boils with anger seeing the rappot both these shared.

Veer kept visiting priya most of the time. He got close to peehu and became her buddy. Spending time with veer was a relief to priya after going through all the torture by ram. While ram concentrated on priya and taking revenge, ayesha on the other side kept working on how to get ram do things in her way.

5 days later...

It is becoming more often that ram even misses his office to eavesdrop Priya and veer's talks and he was startled that day.

Veer: Please accept this. I am so sorry for being a jerk I did not get to takk to you all these years but baby, i never wanted it to be that way. I just had to and it was my job. I want us to be together. I, you and our baby. Just us.

Priya: Hmm... This one sounds good... 

 And before she continues, ram barges in and punches veer straight in his face that leaves veer oozing with blood. All these days, he did not have any conversations with ram just to keep his promise to priya that he will leave it to her to solve the problems of her life but with this one moment, he understood what ram was and felt sorry for priya. He was totally confused and went out of the room not to create anymore embarrassment for priya.

Ram dragged priya out of the guest room. He thought it was safe for him to talk out with her since the kids also were in the school. 

Priya: Mr. kapoor, what are you doing?

Ram: wahi, joh tum deserve karti ho.

By this time, everyone in the house gathers (Shipra, ayesha, krishna, daadi, rishab and soumya)

Daadi: ram puttar yeh tu kya kar raha hai?

Ram: daadi, mein joh kar raha hoon, sahi kar raha hoon. Yeh ghatiya aurat pata nahi aur kitna gir sakti hai. Yeh aur iska joh dost types ka boyfriend hai na, VEER. Dono apne family planning kar rahe hai. Priya, tell me the truth, were you actually with HIM all these years and the whole story of living in dubai just a lie? Tum ne mujhe dhoka diya, you are such a ... 

Pata hai daadi, Veer aur Priya ek dusre se...

That's it. A tight slap falls across ram's face and it was none other than veer. 

Veer: you know what Mr. Ram Kapoor. Priya doesn't deserve you. She deserves someone better than you. Let me tell you something, whenever i meet priya, in fact, all these days, she kept talking Bout YOU all the time. Ram is like this, ram is like that.. Woh kya hain na, i missed your wedding and didnt get to meet you. We went just catching up. Aur rahi baat joh hum kar rahe the, meri biwi sneha mujhse gussa hai and so is my son Rohan. I went on a mission and returned after 6 long years. Mein aaj unn se mill raha hoon. As soon as i got back, i got to know about priya and rushed to see her before anyone else because priya is my best friend. We grew up together and all and now i need to convince and say sorry to my family. I was so nervous and i was just practicing with priya. Nothing more than that. It is not priya who stooped low. It is YOU. You are lucky to have priya in your life and she is really unlucky to have you as her husband.

Saying that, veer walked out giving a final nod of assurance to priya. Priya stood there crying terribly while ram bowed his head with shame. Ayesha and shipra, who were rejoicing a moment ago are now irritated with priya getting her good looks back.

------

Priya ran to her room and closed the door being her. Ram took a while to sink in all the things that happened and wanted to apologize to priya. He went to her room and knocked the door. He was SHELL SHOCKED with what he saw.

------

PRECAP:

Ram: Kaun ho tum?

Priya: What do you mean?

Guys, this is part one of OS. And let me clarify, the whole story is not the same as BALH. So keep reading :) and leave your comments.





Edited by ezria - 06 October 2012 at 7:12am

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Neo20

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Neo20

Joined: 15 September 2012

Posts: 20

Posted: 05 October 2012 at 2:06pm | IP Logged
Well... Sorry to be honest.. But this is the first OS I did not like.. It does not suit the characters of both Ram and Priya! 

But that is purely my opinion...

ezria

Newbie

ezria

Joined: 27 September 2012

Posts: 14

Posted: 05 October 2012 at 2:16pm | IP Logged
There is more to the story. But thanks for your comment. Good or bad, i accept it with grace. I have left a comment in the bottom that this is not BALH. I have just taken a scenario and character names. The rest, you will have to find out in the next parts, only if you want to continue reading, which is totally up to you. Thanks for dropping by.

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Chitrathan

Pinkjali

Senior Member

Pinkjali

Joined: 24 January 2012

Posts: 831

Posted: 05 October 2012 at 2:54pm | IP Logged
Hey it was awesome.. U got to have continue this that to very soon... And thank god it's not balh, but it was mindblowing.. Waiting for next.

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balhfan4everChitrathan

fanraya

IF-Dazzler

fanraya

Joined: 02 March 2012

Posts: 2975

Posted: 05 October 2012 at 3:14pm | IP Logged
Nice story..Clap

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Chitrathan

name2saakshi

Goldie

name2saakshi

Joined: 30 October 2011

Posts: 1901

Posted: 05 October 2012 at 3:18pm | IP Logged
that is interserting precap is Confuseding

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Chitrathan

balhfan4ever

Senior Member

balhfan4ever

Joined: 09 January 2012

Posts: 596

Posted: 05 October 2012 at 3:30pm | IP Logged
Very nice start...love the intensity of emotions...you are a very talented writer. Please do continue soon...eagerly awaiting next partClap

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Chitrathan

Neo20

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Neo20

Joined: 15 September 2012

Posts: 20

Posted: 05 October 2012 at 3:40pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by ezria

There is more to the story. But thanks for your comment. Good or bad, i accept it with grace. I have left a comment in the bottom that this is not BALH. I have just taken a scenario and character names. The rest, you will have to find out in the next parts, only if you want to continue reading, which is totally up to you. Thanks for dropping by.

I will surely read the next part.. And please don't mind what I said. Since, you are on a BALH forum, anything you right by the name of the characters will automatically generate the picture of real BALH characters in our mind.. (Just because human brain is very strong in drawing associations)OuchOuch

The characterization of real BALH is such that we can see anything that Ram and Priya do to each other, but a third person hitting either of the two, is not acceptable. Also in real BALH Ram knew for sure that she was in dubai (but i understand its not the case here). If you write everything by the name of Natasha and Kartik for example, its fantastic.

So, I would suggest either re-characterize explicitly the people in your fiction once, or use some other names, or make the script that fits with characterization of Ram and Priya in real BALH. It would get much more acceptable!! Again, thats just my opinion. 

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