Entry#11
A Promise To Love You.. Till Eternity
It was an early autumn evening.. Elizabeth slowly made her way towards a nearby garden and took a seat below a huge oak tree.
Tears
silently made its way out of her eyes as she wept silently.. She did
not know when there would be an end to all her sufferings and pain. She
looked around at the almost deserted garden.. And the beautiful oak tree
under which she sat. A huge amount of its leaves had already fallen.
Just like her life..she thought.
It was one of the very rare times when she got to spend time all by herself, without even the slightest disturbance.
Though she did not want to.. She found herself engaged in thoughts of her past...
...
...
She had been blessed with an almost perfect life.. Be it her parents, friends, life or even anything else for that matter.
She had the looks too, dark brown hair and well defined features topped with silky smooth olive textured skin..
During her high school time, she just had to snap a finger for boys to literally rush towards her..
But yes.. She was taken. She was committed and again she had a perfect boyfriend that every girl dreamt of having.
Zac,
the name itself still gave her the jitters. They both had been besotted
by each other at the very first day of high school.. Zac being the
hazel eyed hunk and newcomer and Elizabeth, the high school prom queen.
And as in every ordinary love story..
Both met, fell in love and expressed their love too..
All
were of a view that their relation would not last long.. Maybe because
at present there are quiet a few couples who stay together after high
school..
But
both Zac and Elizabeth had never thought about the future that deep,
they prefered to go with the flow.. But deep inside both were very sure
about their feelings for each other.
And maybe that was the reason
that despite of what others said, they were still able to stay together
even after high school.. And also a year apart from each other, their
bond had just grown stronger.
Again, a perfect love story that anyone could die for?
No!
May no one be blessed with such a love life if what happens at end..is
equal to dieing a thousand deaths! This was what Elizabeth always
thought bitterly.
That no one has to face the heart wrecking pain she has had to go through.
After a year of completing their education, both Elizabeth and Zac were very much content with the placement they were offered.
And without any further delay both had thought of tieing the knot as quickly as possible.
A couple of months later, Elizabeth had also learnt that she is expecting.. Which called for a double celebration!
Since their marriage had also been fixed for the very next month..
In those days, Elizabeth had learnt how deeply Zac had grown fond of her and began to love her.
He was an orphan.. And Elizabeths entry to his life had given him much more than he ever expected.
He
was not only showered with true and deep love and care but now
Elizabeth had given him the world's biggest happiness by proclaiming
that she was expecting their child!
In
the beginning of their relation, Zac had always tried his best not to
grow too found of Elizabeth.. A fear of growing too fond of her, and
then losing her always haunted him..
He
was not accustomed to being loved so deeply all these years, and in
just this one instant he had got the happiness of the world..and also
his life from this one girl.
But
of lately he had completely let go of his guards and had come to grow
completely fond of her, love her to no extent.. Now he was almost sure,
that no matter what happens she would always stick to his side.
And even he would not think of leaving her ever..
This
little feeling of insecurity was which had made Zac rush into their
marriage. To which, luckily, even Elizabeth obliged and had no issues.
The days had passed in a blur, and with the wink of an eye, just a couple of days had been left for their wedding.
Elizabeth
had been off to visit and invite a relative at a distant town.. Whereas
Zac was quickly winding up all his office chores inorder too take a
month long leave after the wedding.
Elizabeth
was all set to return home the day before the wedding, and had also
called up Zac informing him that she had just left town and would be
boarding the train back home in an hour or so. She had ended by giving
Zac the minute details of her train timings and as of when he had to
pick her up.
Just when she ended the call, her phone swithed off indicating that the charge is over.
Zac
was eagerly waiting for Elizabeth's arrival.. It was after a long gap
that she had been away from him for so long and to tell that he missed
her like hell would be an understatement.
He was going restless every
passing second, sometimes fussing about her safety and the rest of the
time looking at tle clock which seems to be moving extra slow that day.
He
decided to kill time by watching anything on t.v to deviate his mind
from constant thoughts regarding Elizabeth.. Liz, was what he called her
lovingly.
Just when he was browsing through the channels, his hands and body almost froze on one of the news channels.
It
showed breaking news, that there had been a devastating crash between
two trains that travelled on the same rail and ended up running into
each other. It also showed that not even a single soul was able to
escape the major accident.
Zac
had already gone numb, but with the few strands of left strenght, he
somehow managed to look at the train Liz was supposed to travel by and
that was it.. that was the last he thought sanely.
As soon as he learnt that it was indeed the same train Liz was travelling in, he collapsed on the floor, unconscious.
...
Elizabeth
quickly made her way towards the hospital in tears, as she learnt soon
after arriving at their apartment that Zac had been hospitalized. She
was somehow able to make out what would have had happened and blamed
herself for his condition.
She
should have atleast made a call informing him that she had missed the
train, and would be boarding the very next. But she had not given much
thought to it.. Infact it was only after she arrived home that she
learnt about the accident of the train she was supposed to travel in.
She folded her hands in silent prayer, waiting for the doctors to report Zac's health.
After a complete observation of 24 hours, the doctors finally reported his condition..
He
was reportedly self paralysed due to the sudden shock he got, and now
he was declared brain dead and all his muscles were paralysed. His
condition was declared incurable.
This
brought Liz shattering down, her life which had been so perfect so far
had come crumbling down in just an instant... She was shattered from
within and had no hope of living at all from that very day..
...
...
Elizabeth came out of her thoughts as she felt a leaf fall upon her..
She quickly came out of her thoughts and looked around to find it has already become dark.
She slowly wiped her tears and started walking along the garden towards the hospital...
She
again recalled how then only her child was the sole reason for her to
survive, the sign of their love, but fate had also snatched that
happiness from her.
She had a miscarriage due to the mental stress and shock she went through.
Now, she was in such a situation from where she could neither move on nor end her life..
Though Zac was paralysed she made sure to spend each second of her life in his presence.
But by looking at his condition, many a time, she blames herself but would still be unable to find the right means to repent!
Lost
in her thoughts, an idea formed in her mind just as she entered the
hospital premises. She did not want to rethink of her decision and
quickly rushed into the pharmacy.
After a while, she rushed into Zac's room and stared at his frail form for a long time.
Then took out a pen and wrote a letter and kept it at the bedside table.
After
having a final look at Zac, Liz made herself comfortable on the couch
next to Zac's bed, and then slowly took out the kerosene injection she
had brought with her and without giving any second thought she closed
her eyes and injected it in her own body..
The
slight pain and Zac's face what Liz finally thought of before taking
the injection and paralysing herself and freezing every muscle of her
body at that very second...
Later, a doctor came and looked at the two still forms of bodies in the room.
She quickly went and inspected Liz and soon enough found out what she had done...
Tears formed in her eyes thinking of the whole situation and that is when her eyes went upto the letter on the bedside table..
She slowly took it and read it..
She choked on her tears as she read its content...
It
read 'Please keep me close to him Doc, and also please do me a final
favour of ending my life, the very day Zac breathes his last.'
Entry#12
Love/l?v/
an intense feeling of deep affection.
***
What is love?
Love is unconditional, they say
And it is felt in many ways.
Whether it's the soothing caress of a mother's hand,
Or the warmth that exudes from your lover, as you stare out into the open land.
Love can be something which eases away your sorrows,
Something which fills the voids that are hollow.
Love is unconditional, they say
And it can last an eternity of days.
***
Love, for her,
was seeing him walk along the street as the golden sunlight added to
the radiance of happiness that shone from his face, the streaks
highlighting the slightly ageing yet still handsome face as he embraced
the child playfully with one hand, whilst taking the hand of the angelic
woman beside him with the other.
Love, was seeing him
fulfil the dreams they had shared in their yesteryears, the secret
which filtered in their love letters, which swayed with the breeze on a
cool summer's night, which washed away with the waves as they sat on the
sandy shore.
Love, was seeing his deep brown gaze
lock with hers, seeing the familiar charming smile light his features as
he acknowledged her presence, and feeling her own lips curl up in
response with small delight.
Love, was watching the
picture perfect family pass her by as her eyes lingered on the
retreating figures, satisfaction seeping into her soul.
Love, for her, was knowing that he would live a life of nothing but peace and content.
***
The
autumn leaves flirted with the wind before finding their destined
places on the ground. She picked up the beautiful auburn brown
concoction, the concoction which had once been vibrant and green but
would soon grey and disintegrate into nothingness.
But
love isn't like that, she thought as she stood up, folding her arms and
walking the very same path she had witnessed them walking 3 years ago.
Love was eternal, love was everlasting.
Passing
by their resting places, she gave a silent prayer before letting her
eyes linger upon his name engraved in the tombstone.
She placed a kiss onto her fingers, pressing it into the engraving ever so gently.
Love, to her, was realising that he was at peaceful content now, laid beside the ones he loved.
"For
as long as I live, I will love," she whispered, before slowly walking
down the path she had came, picking up the trail of leaves that had
fallen to the ground before her.Entry#13
Au Revoir
Sometimes you defy your own destiny,
Sometimes you alone are responsible for the woes in
your life..
Sometimes you love so much that it becomes
suffocation,
Sometimes your truth becomes your lie..
Sometimes you break friendships with your own
hands..
Sometimes you are honest and the honesty backfires,
Sometimes you want to cry and not a tear falls..
Sometimes you stab and betray when all you wanted
was not too..
Sometimes you know it was love but it comes across
as something else...
Sometimes you are only the cause of your shattered
self,
Sometimes you deserve...deserve to be alone and
isolated..
Coz sometimes you snatch your own hope and break the
one you love...
I
don't know why I'm writing this letter to you nor do I know will it ever reach
you. Then again if it reaches you will you be willing to give me a chance is
the question that haunts me. I know we've had our ups and downs maybe a lot
more than a normal relationship has and every time we mended our difference but
this time I've really lost you, lost us and no matter how much I want to forget
you and even hate you for not trusting me enough and saying me things I least
imagined I can't bring myself to do so. I won't say more but this is my last
letter to you.
Dear
Aman,
It's
a cold autumn night with the week looming ominously ahead. The rustling of leaves and sweet murmur of
the nightingale are the only sounds that whisper to me. My mind is stirring
with a million things yet it is blank and tears are relentlessly rolling down
my cheeks.
I'm
crying, I can't help but cry as there is this void that has engulfed me. My
heart aches still I try to be strong and it's breaking me apart each day. I
wait, wait for you to come back and hold me in your embrace, loving and
caressing me like always. There are days when all I want is to bridge the gap
and come running to you as the distance that separates us is not miles apart
but hearts apart. But, I can't do that, can I? When it's you who's tearing us
apart.
I should have told you everything, right from befriending
your younger brother to meeting him accidently at the very start but I was
afraid that you will call me a stalker when it was nothing of that sort. I
didn't want to hurt you but I did and for that even my sorry won't be enough!
At this point I don't know where I stand and where am I headed too, but there
was a point when I was lost and lonely I didn't lie if you feel am lying to
you, and you were the only person who was there. Irrespective of being a
stranger you made me smile! It didn't matter how you were, who you were; I wish
it had mattered so then life wouldn't have been such a mess, both mine and
yours. This is not my way of moving on this is my way of shutting myself to the
world.
Time heals all wounds they say, but the memories are still fresh
in my mind like it was just yesterday when we met but in reality it has been
three long years I last saw you but I always felt your presence deep in my
heart.
There have been days when I wished you were there with me when the new day
dawned and were with me forever. But I can't build hopes nor walk on roses as
thorns are not far away, can I? Yet I don't know how to squeeze the distance
between me and you...I miss you and I miss us too!
Without you I'm a burned down flame,
Whose ray, no longer lights the way'
A soulless flower, A coast-less bay'
A deemed topaz, A dried sea'
A mirthless bird and a hazy memory'
Without you I'm there but I don't seem to be,
Come back my love,
As each day now seems like eternity'
I
don't have it in me to say anything more as I'm nothing but an emotional mess.
Though you say waiting is a waste of time and I'll realize it someday yet I
will be right here waiting for you. And I wish it were easy but it's hard to
stop loving and say goodbye.
Love,
Faya
Entry#14
Another Autumn
Hot tears stung the back of her eyes as she tried hard to
fought them, her emotions. Blinking hard she pushed them away and looked
straight ahead at the orange sky as the evening sun settled at the horizon.
Another autumn evening was coming to its end. Another day gone by. Sun making
its way to go down, taking its light away with it leaving behind a thick
blanket of darkness to cover the night sky.
She sighed and looked at the side of the park. Brown dried
leaves flitted around aimlessly. Fallen on the ground looking miserably about
as the insensitive wind swooshed them further and further from their roots.
They didn't have any control over their lives just like she had none on hers.
She was just a mere puppet of fate being swashed from one point to another.
She
wished she had some control, a little bit so she could steer the life back in
direction. Back to where she wanted it, back to how it was. But that wasn't
happening she knew. Her life would never be the same again. She felt her heart
constrict at this thought, yes life would never be the same again because he
would never be with her again. He would never return. She knew that now for
certainty. Any hope she had been nursing for the past one year was rudely
snatched from her.
He was not coming back. Never. For he was gone too far for
return. A new surge of tears made their way to her eyes. This time she did not
fight them as they escaped one by one from her hazelnut eyes.
Gulping hard she tried to keep a calm appearance even as her
insides broke with hurt. Yes, she was desperate. She was desperate for relief. Desperate
for escape from the pain. Desperate for the long hurt to stop. Desperate for
him to come back once so she could say goodbye. Desperate enough to end her
life if it brought any release. So desperate for salvation.
She had been struggling for too long but now all the control
she had was slowly fading. With each passing second the pain grew and she was
tempted to let all go. Let her life go.
Closing her eyes she said a silent pray; asking to be
released. Hoping that wherever he was now, he would be listening to her and
would come find her. Yes, he would come for her.
With this final thought she picked up her belongings from
the bench and started to walk away on the path carved by dead leaves leading
nowhere.
Entry#15
I'm Sorry
Dry autumn morning greeted her as she stepped out on her
porch. Slowly she looked up at the dreary morning sky where sun was creeping
out from behind the fleeting clouds. Soon it will be sunny, pushing back the
signs of the previous night, the sounds of the mourning would die down as the
sounds of birds happily chirping will fill the air but one thing would remain the same;
her broken heart.
Sighing deeply she stepped down on the ground, the dead
leaves making crunching sound as she walked on them to make her way to the
backyard. She took out a shovel from the garden hedge and started to push the
leaves away, clearing the yard. She stopped as a memory crossed her mind; it
had been a similar crisp morning a year ago but it had been a happier one, she
was smiling, he was with her. She shook her head to push the memory away and
dropping the shovel on the side went back into the house.
*
The kettle continued to boil the water as she sat down on
the dining table staring out at the dusky sky from the window. Her mind was
still clogged with memories from the past; hurtful memories. She closed her
eyes to stop them but they kept playing in her mind. The kettle whistled loudly
breaking her reverie. Standing up she
took the cup and poured hot water in it before placing a tea bag in it. Going
into the lounge she sat down on the big sofa chair facing the main door.
"Lillian I said I'm sorry."
"It doesn't change anything Derek. Just leave."
"Lillian..." he stopped his words hanging in mid air. 'I'm
going.' He said with a hint of desperation in his voice. Somewhere he hoped she
would stop him.
"Go, I never wish to see you again."
He paused at the door and turning around looked at her with
longing eyes.
"You don't mean that do you?" There was hurt in his voice.
She closed her eyes taking every ounce of her will not to
break down before him.
"Just go." She said between clenched teeth.
She kept
standing there with her back to the door; cold, detached. Finally she turned around
as she heard the door click as he went away.
A shudder ran through as the memory made a way.
She gulped
hard remembering how it was the worst fight they ever had in the three years
they had been together. He loved her she knew that now but she had been foolish
enough not to see it then. He had been guilty, he had made a mistake but he had
repented too. He had asked for forgiveness but she had denied him that and now
she wanted forgiveness but it was too late. She would never get that because he
will never be coming back.
A lone tear rolled down her cheek as the silent fact
hit her hard again. He was never coming back. He was gone.
"Derek, I'm sorry." She whispered closing her eyes.
She hoped he had forgiven her, she knew he would have if he
had survived that accident. If only they had not fought that, if only she had
given him a chance they would still be together but no he was gone. And all
there was left now was bitter pain and regret.
"I'm sorry." She said again before breaking down into a
flood of tears. Still waiting and hoping for a chance to find forgiveness; release...
Entry#16
That One Fateful Autumn
The sunrays filled the ambience, showering the whole
place with a golden glow. The twilight added more effect, making it even calmer
except the scratching of dry leaves that contacted with the cobbled roads of park.
The isolated metal bench was occupied by the lone
girl who sat at one corner of the bench, her eyes fixated to the small stream
running in front of her while her mind was numb by the reminders lying around
her.
The dead leaves, the gloomy effect, the silence, the
loneliness, it was all excruciating making her live the fateful moment all over
again which had the capability to make her die a thousand deaths. The raw pain
was still felt, the minute agonies unforgotten, as every autumn came and go.
It all started on one fine day of autumn and ended
again on an autumn day snatching all the colours of her life. She sighed and
looked up at the sky that appeared regal in all its glory.
She saw his face up there, smiling that signature
lazy smile of his down at her, with a tint of longing. It again constricted her
inners as tears threatened to spill. She closed her lids and let her head fall
back as she envisioned the whole moment, again.
*~*~*
Adi lay on his bed, his death bed to be precise, as
the ray of twilight caressed his face. The colour of his skin was pale and his
naturally pink lips were parched just like how his shiny orbs lost its twinkle
and how his cheeks fell hollow under cheek bones.
His state was horrifying her yet she mustered the
courage to smile before him, holding his hands into hers saying the words
believed to soothe him from his pain. She knew it's all going to end soon
panicking her. But still her mind hasn't given up the prayer that she started
on one day of the fall when they all came to know about his disease.
'Autumn...', he eyed the window as his voice broke
while he fought for air.
'Yes'', she let her voice act strong as her eyes
followed his out to the window.
'I.. It was autumn.. when we first met', he breathed
loudly.
'And when we became friends', she tried to sound
cheerful.
'And when you.. slapped me for flirting with-',
unable to finish he pointed her and let out a hoarse chuckle.
'Yes, and also when you proposed me', she kept
swallowing.
'And when we found I have neared the end', he smiled
at her wearily. His eyes reflected the fear and she felt helpless. She gave his
hands a tight squeeze to let him know that she is with him. He looked at their
entwined fingers and looked straight into her eyes.
'I'm' he let out air lethargically, '' sorry'.
She felt her heart broke into pieces seeing him
apologise to her. He was always stubborn not wanting to speak first but making
everything to make her speak with him. She could not control it and before she
knew they spilled. The tears. They always betrayed her. She looked at him
questioningly as his eyes turned moist too.
'I didn't keep..up my pro..mise', he rasped.
She shook her head to make him stop. That was what
she had always dreaded. The moment that would bring up the most sensual and
truthful bitter facts.
'You were with me..since school. You..waited. But I never..took
you beyond the position. But, I had always..wanted to..take you as my
wife..but, no time..left', he admitted his desperation to live with her.
'It's not your fault, Adi', her voice broke, and 'we
just didn't reached the right time. But there's a lot of time left for us. We
will make it one day', she tried.
'And, it's autumn again' he said meaningfully.
He smirked at her, sadly. Suddenly, his eyes bore
into hers making her heart throb frantically. It was as if he was pouring his
life into hers to store it safe.
'Ad.. Adi.. I'm with you..', she ranted in tension
only to find his lip curl in the corner and his gaze still.
Her fake smile flattened and it dawned on her.
He left her.
*~*~*
She opened her eyes, saw him still smiling from
above and she returned the gesture. Somehow, she knew he is with her.
In her breath.
She quietly took her bag and walked into the rain of
yellow leaves, her silhouette fading into the glow.
She would be back here again, to relive the moment,
at next autumn.
As she did' every year.
Entry#17
The Air Column
He woke up with a start again. Shivering. He
always dreamed of her voice. His heartbeat had doubled. He reached for his cane.
Called out to Murphy. The dog walked up to him lazily. And laid a reassuring
paw on his chest. And he started breathing easy again.
Master "Murphy, do you hear her? Can you see
her? I hear you can see in the dark. Bark if you see her."
Murphy licked his hand. He always did that when
master was tense.
Master "I always hear her voice at this time of
the night. Why Murphy?"
Murphy was onto the bed. He knew that master allowed
him to dirty the bed at night.
Master laid his hand on the soft belly of
Murphy. Heard a gurgling noise.
Master "Did I forget to give you dinner again,
Murphy? I am sorry. I forgot."
Murphy made a cooing sound. Master got up, his
cane tapping the marble floor. He felt his way to the refrigerator. Opened its door
and fetched a can of milk.
Master "Take me to your bowl, Murphy."
Murphy slowly tugged at the cane. Guiding it to
the bowl ever so slowly so master would not slip. Master opened the can and
started pouring. Murphy held the bowl in the right place so the milk would not
spill much. He was a good dog who cleaned up any spilt milk after him anyway.
Master made his way back to the bed. And tried
to sleep. But it managed to evade him. It always happened to him when the
temperature dipped. He was not sure why. All his dreams then reminded him of
her voice.
He decided to read. He opened the Bhagwat Gita
and began to feel the Braille. When she had been alive she used to read to him.
All the beautiful poetry. It was his life. The word of the Lord himself. But
somehow the same words lacked the depth sans her voice.
He kept the book aside. And decided to take a
stroll.
Master "Murphy, lets go for a walk."
Murphy looked at him strangely. It was time to
sleep. But Master was his own master. Murphy just whimpered and followed.
Master opened the flat door, leaving it open. Tapping
his cane, he walked on to the common balcony. Feeling the chilly air blowing on
his face. Murphy kept making soft noises so Master would know where he was.
Master reached the precipice of the balcony. Dropped
the cane to his sides. Outstretched his arms. Called out her name softly.
"Radha. You were supposed to be my balance. That
I had demanded from God for taking my eyes. With you there in my life I did not
feel the need for them. But now that God has snatched away your voice, I feel
like being deaf too. For what else is there to live for. Murphy is old. He is
going to die soon. Who will train a new dog for me? Who will sing me a lullaby
so I can sleep without waking up? Now whenever I hear the air column through
the AC shaft in this accursed flat, I feel I hear you. I cannot differentiate
sounds in my sleep. May be I should just jump from here. But Murphy won't let
me."
He took a deep breath. He heard the mooing of
the air column again. Sounded like a pregnant cow this time. He looked downward
in despair. Then he remembered the line she used to read to him everyday when
she learned she had cancer.
"There has
never been a time when you and I have not existed, nor will there be a time
when we will cease to exist. As the same person inhabits the body through
childhood, youth, and old age, so too at the time of death he attains another
body. The wise are not deluded by these changes."
And then he smiled. She still existed. And it
was her voice that wafted through the air column at night this autumn. Telling
him that she had inhabited another body. And he had to just wait his turn to meet
her again.
Entry#18
Fallen Leaves
The leaves had begun to fall again,
and the wind had grown a little colder. I could feel the crisp air caressing my
cheek lightly as it swept past me, moving on to the trees, before settling to
play with the scarf of a woman who stood a few feet away.
Her fingers wrapped around the scarf
too keep the wind from stealing it away from her neck. Her other hand rested
quietly against her side as she stared at the ground, her face betraying no expression.
I knew, though, that while her lips held steady, her throat tightened with
every breath. I knew she wasn't happy. I knew because it was my fault. My fault
because it was I who had let her go, even though she'd continued holding on to
me.
It had been two years but yet she came
to visit me, and I'd tried to push her away but she didn't listen. I had even
yelled at her, screaming till my voice had grown hoarse but it never reached
her. The wind always managed to carry it away from her as she stood staring at
me, with hurt in her eyes. She didn't cry though. She never cried.
I walked closer to her, and placed my
arms around her shoulder, pulling her back towards me as I rested my head on
top of hers. She shivered a little, so I tightened my arms around her. Her eyes
closed, and her knees crumpled beneath her as she sank to the grassy floor. I
didn't hold her up, instead fell to my own knees right behind her.
"I'm sorry." She uttered. "I am so
sorry." Suddenly she was crying and it made me afraid. I wondered if something was
wrong; if she was ill but that couldn't possibly be. It wouldn't be fair to
her, not when she was still so young. I banished that thought from my head, and
cursed myself for not being able to take her pain away.
"It's okay. Everything will be okay."
I whispered against her ears trying to calm her down, but she continued to cry.
I wanted to wipe her tears away,
console all of her grief away but I couldn't. I decided it was better for me to
walk away, but before I could, another pair of arms cut through me replacing
mine around her shoulders.
These hands were firmer and warmer and
held her tighter, in a way I couldn't any more. It was my turn to shiver as I
pulled away, almost fading in the bright light.
I stepped back allowing the other man
to embrace my wife. He didn't say anything to her, just continued to hold on to
her while she cried.
He wasn't a stranger, but rather a
close friend. A friend I'd grown up with. He was my best friend.
As I watched my best friend embrace my
wife, it struck me why she was crying. I watched his expression, a mirror to my
wife's sorrow and it all made sense. Why she was sorry to me, why she hurt so
much. Why they both hurt so much.
I smiled sadly. I would be lying if I
said it didn't hurt. But it hurt not because I felt betrayed but rather because
I couldn't be there for either of them. But I was also happy that they could be
there for each other when I couldn't.
When her tears stopped, he pulled her closer
while his eyes searched for mine, asking for my permission. They promised to me
that he would keep her safe and happy; cherishing her in the same manner I had
if not more.
How could I say no to that? It was
what I'd wished for since the moment I'd felt life extinguish out of me. It was
what I'd waited for in these past two years, for my wife to find that happiness
and laughter that she'd once carried on her so well. I hadn't meant to take it
away with me but I had, and while I had been sad I had also worried that no one
would be able to return those to her. Today I could sigh with relief. I knew
that it would finally be okay.
I asked the wind for a little
assistance, blessing them with all my heart, a soft smile lighting my face. I
continued to watch them, even as I backed away, quietly disappearing into the
sunlight.
Continued Below..
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