Joined: 31 May 2012
Joined: 01 November 2012
Joined: 02 June 2011
Joined: 14 April 2011
Joined: 01 November 2012
Joined: 15 October 2011
Apologies for taking so long to get here, last few weeks have been hell at work and this is the the first weekend after a long ,very long time that I have had a chance to do exactly what I feel like that means just nothing….I read this chapter on the phone the day you posted but then couldn't come back till today…so here I am with my two pence worth of comments….
I like the way you describe the small details so vividly, like the processing of flashbacks in his mind that leads to his temporary loss of control and then again beautiful description of Gulaal's sleeping state and her subconscious mind processing her unfulfilled wishes….I am in absolute awe…..
Just loved how he forgets all his physical desires and is drawn into keeping that hand over her head,the one that will always protect, the one that will always care for her, the one that will always be for her a promised sealed unconsciously by purity and innocence that still dwells deep inside him……
"Theek hai'",Kesar got up hastily and choked completely quickly went back to his bed . Here is the man whose greed, desire, craving had lead him to be near her, here was the man who could have got what he wanted(he had ensured by paying hefty price) and here was a man walking away in shame, guilt, embarrassment aroused by pure ,innocent and probably unfulfilled wish of a noble heart…..
And then Gulaal's guilt in sync with Kesar's confused and accusing stare, doesn't that say everything that now exist between these two, where is a need for words…they both understand each other so well…Champ feels like an outsider….
It was heart wrenching to read the last para where you have described his pain in explicit detail, it was like you could watch him walking through that corridor, picking up those pebbles throwing them with as much force he can muster at the speeding train and in the end flinging himself on the ground with no thoughts crossing his mind…amazingly done…..
Ahh next one was so intense, relieving the pareshaani and also the confession scene both confessions actually,he was out of control but so was she, she was the one who couldn't bear when he was walking away, her guilt, her confusion her shame made him hold that hand as she wanted to explain herself but what resulted after that was something they both had feared all along,Gulaal in her dreams and Kesar 24*7 as he confessed…….I am surprised that she could hold on to her nerve when he was looking like that at her but she won't be Galool otherwise na….
And yes I do believe she deserves champ as long as she keep repeating what she was saying thousand times over….ignoring what her hearth is screaming at her….
Wonderful …na..brilliant chapter Piyu,I am sorry it took so long to comment I promise I will be regular henceforth….looking forward to the next update soon……..
Joined: 14 April 2011
RULE NO .7 If you love someone set her free,if she comes back ,she was meant to be yours ,if she does not ,then she was never meant to be.
STATUS :YE WALA TO ULTIMATE CONFUSING HAI ..ITS LIKE TO BE OR NOT TO BE HEHE
Joined: 14 April 2011
His face grew from red to scarlet red.His lungs could not bea it anymore.The tight grip around his neck had cut off the last supply of air that was supposed to wash his breath.Rajveer squealed in excruciating pain caged in the strong muscular grip of Negi as another strong kick,squashed the tender skin of his abdomen., "Saley teri himmat kaise hui ..Twinkle k saath'.bas***d 'Saley'."
Negi kept kept on kicking him and Twinkle screamed in horror.The campur caf was silent as people looked shocked.
"Dadda leave him we were just having coffee'.",Twinkle shrieked.
Rewa 's eyes popped in horror as she too had joined both of them.What a crushing evening it was.
"Shut up'Twinkle..I had warned you not to mix with the desis ..and how dare he gave that rose to you'.",Gritting his teeth in fury and in absolute rage in his eyes Negi clutched RV's neck and his face became plae.Eyelids drooped as his vision blurred .He felt he was sinking into darkness.
"Negi '"His roaring voice echoed and panting breath broke the silence of the caf where Twinkle's wailings were highly audible.Negi did not pay heed .
"Negi ..Leave him'.",A grip so strong pushed him him back freeing RV as he coughed bitterly .Kesar stood there as a shield in between Rv and Negi .His own eyes bloodshot .Not being able to sleep for the last 24 hrs,With no clue what he wanted and Gulaal out of his sight,Kesar looked as if he had just walk4ed out of hell himself.
"Kesar"'Negi ran towards RV and punched him again
"I said Leave him chhod use'.",Kesar held Negi who was impatient ready to pounce again .
"Tum sab ki main shikayat karunga'.",Hunching upon his shoulders RV screamed pointing his fingers which were shivering in fear and shame.Tears were rolling down his cheeks .Everything swooped upon him like a whirlwind.How Negi had caught them as RV gave Twinkle a rose and since then beat him black and blue.
(RV'S CHIRP-I cannot tell you how embarrassing it was,I was so scared that I I could not even defend myseld.Imagine being beaten by the brotherof the girl whom you love..HUSH HUSH BLUSH BLUSH..HE he ..Yes I had indeed fallen in love with the rosy cheeks of of my Equally rosy cheeks.I prayed to the Lord to somehow send Di here to protect me,But I was shocked to see Kesar of all persons standing right in front of me.I wanted to hide and duck behind his strong arms and cry hugging him)
"Saley shikayat karega..Kisse ..apni behan se'.apni behan ke piche jakar chupega'..Teri behen ko bhi zinda gadh dunga'.",Negi gritted
"Negi '",Kesar roared in anger and gritted his teeth cutting short his statement
"Tu chup kar Kesar '.Main janta hun..Ki tera dil iski behan par aa rakah'",Negi blurted in a fit of rage.Everything around came to a standstill as everyone looked at Negi.Rajveer's eyes were ready to pop out of their sockets and Rewa looked at Kesar speculatively. A complete uncouth that Kesar was,his shabby attire,his rugged look and his bloodshot eyes.Rewa shivered at the thought of Gulaal even remotely liking him .
(REWA'S RANT-Hell no!! Gulaal can never like this guy'I was sure '.It was only Kesar who might have wanted her)
"Bbakwas mat kar'.Kuch bhi bol raha hai'.Oh just shut up'.Muh band Kar Negi'",Kesar's face turned as pale as if he had seen a ghost.Last thing on earth he had wanted that in his college he would become a laughing stock.He squeezed Negi's shoulder in a harsh grip .
"Kesar",Negi shook his haed realizing what he just did.
"Maine kaha Chup ho ja'.",Kesar gritted his teeth scaring Negi
"Dadda'",Twinkle tried to mutter something.
"Twinkle tu hostel ja'.",Kesar commanded folding his hands across his bosom, "Aur tum sab ," He looked around , "..chalo Get lost..Yahan koi tamasha nahi chal raha..Jatey ho ki Du sab ko ek ek'',Clasping his fingers in a fearful grip ,he shooed away everyone.Rewa was too scared toreact and gulped a huge lump in her throat,"Chinky chal'"
"Nahi ise rehne do'Ye baad mein ayega'",Kesar stared at Rewa.
Kesar said with a strange soft radiance ion his eyes , "He will be safe ..It's a promise..Go back now'.",The baritone of his voice reached his usual harshness again.
"Kesar par",Twinkle whimpered while Negi still looked shocked.
"Maine kaha na ghar ja'..Negi ise ghar chhod k aa'.",His furious eyes commanded Negi who grabbed Twinkle's hand and dragged her away.
"Aur tu'Tu mere kamre mein aa'.",Kesar roared at Rajveer signalling him to follow him AS Kesar walked away.
RV stood there like a statue. He wanted this to be UNREAL.This was the most horrible nightmare of his life .He was still reeling under the tremdous upheavel caused in his mind by Negi's statement that he stood there like a lifeless climber who needed his Di at the very moment.He was clueless how to react.
The door of the hostel room 102 creaked and grated on its rusted hinges.Peeping through the tiny gap were two little eyes beaneath which black sores ached.Hot fuming panting and angery grunt was echoing from inside as Kesar furiously exercised thinking about everything that went beyond his control since Gulaal entered his life.Life fluttered his eyelids scared not able to step inside.Those huge biceps which flexed with with each push and sweat dripping around his muscular body scared RV.
(RV'S CHIRP-My life had been miserable now .I was left wondering what was everything all about.Was he planning to murder me .What was wrong between him and Di and What was this meeting supposed to mean.I was damn clueless.).
Kesar's breaths vigourously increased and anger made his body even more tense .The tiny sweat sweat droplets trickled his nose as he got up and kicked the bed in frustation and passed his fingers through his hair, "DAMN IT!!",He yelled and suddenly he saw RV sneaking rolled in one corner opf the room near the door.
"Come inside",Kesar said in a low husky tone.With his legs shivering with fear RV walked inside the room.
Kesar grabbed a towel in his hand and wiped off his sweat and muttered carelessly,"Sun tu hostel chhod k chale ja ..turant warna Negi tujhe jine nahi dega yahan"
"Main kyun jaun'.",RV mustered all his courage remembering his Di's words
"Dekh '.Teri bhalayi isi mein hai kit u yahan se chala ja..warna '."throwing away the towel from his hand,Kesar slumped on the rocking chair and looked speculatively at Rajveer.
"Warna kya '.Di kehti hai tum jaise ghatiya logon se ..mujhe nahi darna chahiye..",RV spluttered
(RV'S CHIRP-I donno what got into me,but somehow I did not feel afraid anymore.Maybe his relaxed cautious words gave me the courage to lash back at him')
Kesar was furious .His mind had not been at rest.The pain of being snubbed,the humiliation he had gone through due to Gulaal acted as a fuel to his already burning soul.The visions of being slapped by Gulaal swooped upon him like a whirlwind and he lost all his grip on himself.
"Abey saley Di k chamche",Kesar got up furiously and grabbed his collar , "'.Tu abhi tak yahan zinda khada hai kyunki mera dil teri di pe aa gaya hai'.Isse pehle ki tujhe nEgi jaan se maar de..Twinkle se milna chhod aur ja idhar se'.
SILENCE ENSUED FOR SECONDS.RV looked at Kesar shocked,numbed with horror clueless how to react.He was fighting with rage
"Meri di ' wo tujhe iski saza degi'Tum jaise gunde k muh pe thukegi bhi nahi'.",RV spluttered his eyes still wide apart with shock .
"Kya kaha..Hmmm kya kaha'",Kesar tightened his grip on RV's collar, "..Main chahun na'.haan Agar main chahun to ek minute bhi nahi lagega'.Aur teri DI YAHAN',"he extended his arms with a dark sinister look on his face, Theek inhi bahon mein ..haan bahon mein hogi'aur kisi k baap mein dum nahi hoga",He clutched his cheeks digging his nails and pushed him on the floor and yelled, " ..Na tujhmein na tere us fighter bhai aur tere us racer hmm.kya naam hai uska" he scratched his head, "'Karan haan karan mein ki mujhe rok le'.Tu ye to chhod khud teri behen yahan khud chal kar ayegi samjha'",Kesar gritted his teeth in madness and savage satisfaction.RV looked at him horrified .His limbs were paralysed with shock as he saw the EVIL look on Kesar's face.His tongue was tied in shock.Kesar walked towards him and pulled him up with his hands grabbing his shoulders and wiped off the dirt from his shirt and mumbled with a tone that gave him shivers down his spine.".Shukar mana ki mera dimag thikane par hai abhi'.isliye Gulaal sahi salamat hai 'chup chaap ulte panv bhag idhar se aur ho sake to Gulaal ko mujhse bahut dur rakhna samjha'.."His bloodshot eyes narrowed with rage.RV felt as if he has seen a ghost .
"Samjha ki nahi",Kesar patted his cheeks,"Warna aur bhi tareeke hain samjhane k samjha'.",Kesar walked away and held his bat in his hand .RV quickly nodded his head in fear.
"GOOD!!Ab bhag idhar se warna yahin zinda gad dunga'."Kesar pushed him towards the door .His own breathings rapid and he fought with himself .He was in a state of ABSOLUTE RAGE so much so that he actually wanted to kill someone right there.RV dragged his feet and started walking away when Kesar's voice stopped him dead in his tracks., "Sun'.Rajveer' Ek free ki advice leta ja'Be a man'Kab tak apni Di k pallu k piche chupa rahega'Bhai hai tu uska..Tere samne uske barein mein itni ghatiya batein keh gaya aur tu'.Tu sala kuch bola hi nahi'..Mana ki Gulaal ko kisi ke sahare ki zarurat nahi par.. her protection is your duty..Apni zimmedari kab samjhega tu'.Ab tak to tujhe mera muh tod dena chaiye tha'Samjha'Teri Di ko bhi apne sar pe kisi bade ka haath rakhne ki zarurat mehsoos hoti hogi'.Uski ichaon ko kab samjhega''You should stand as a shield to her It shouldn't be the other way round samjha."
"Main kuch samjhu na Samjhun ...But one thing you understand 'My Di is my life..Please do not harm her Please '",RV burst into tears.
Kesar looked at him with shock .Something melted in his heart He walked towards RV and hesitantly put his hand on his shoulder,Acha theek hai rona band kar 'but tera jawaab galat tha..you should have punched me right across my face samjha'.Remember you are her brother'Chal ab Get lost",Kesar pushed him out of the door and yelled, "Don't you dare ..Step in the hostel anymore '.."
"Di…kya chal raha hai..",The darkness of the room broke suddenly into lights and Gulaal was scared as she placed her luggage inside her room, only to be shocked to see RV sitting in his arm chair.
"Gosh you scared me Chinky..Me abhi to ayi hun…I am tired ..I need to immediately freshen up and sleep" ,Gulaal threw herself on the bed and yawned. Her eyes were heavy and her mind was tired. She had not slept since two days…She hardly slept and thought about Kesar 24*7 and how he had hurt her.
"First you answer me..Di..Kya chal raha hai ye sab?,RV fumed.
"Kya chal raha hai…..", Gulaal got up from the bed and started taking out her clothes from the wardrobe and tucked her hair in a band.
"Tere Aur Kesar k beech mein…",RV said in a serious tone. Gulaal felt as if she had been struck with a lightening .She looked at him shocked as if someone had congealed the blood flowing in her veins….She quickly hardened her face and said carelessly while continuing her work., "Chinky That's none of your business.."
"Hell it's my business..",RV pulled her arms and her clothes scattered all over the floor .Gulaal looked at him shocked as he narrated the entire incident to her. Gulaal was abhorred by Kesar's statement. She loathed him even more .
"Did he hurt you..Bata..Did he….Warna I am calling Pinky..",RV muttered
"Stop. And Shut up",Gulaal squeezed RV's arms and continued, "…You know what kuch bhi nahi..I hate that bloody rascal..Samjha..I hate that Bloody rascal….Nothing else..Aur humare beech kuch bhi nahi ok…Now shut up and get lost.."
"No I WILL NOT GET LOST..I AM YOUR BROTHER..I REALISED IT'S TOO LATE..Tu kab tak hum sabki probs solve karegi bata..Kab tak…?...I need to protect you….Mujhse galti ho gayi Di…I swear agar aaj k baad usne teri tarf ankh utha k bhi dekha..to…",RV fumed as he recalled Kesar's words to stand up for himself.
"Chinky…",Gulaal choked upon her own words as she saw in front of him not the timid Chinky who hid behind her but in fact standing in front of her was Rajveer his brother who promised to stand by her. She felt overwhelmed.
"WHAT",RV fumed., "Why the hell are you crying"
"Kuch nahi ..Yun adat nahi hai na….Tu to achanak se bada ho gaya Chinky….I feel so protected right now…Awww Chal come on gimme a HUG ….",Gulaal embraced him tightly.
"Tu HUG chhod…Tell me Do you…I mean..Kesar…",RV creased his brow, his heart pounding and afraid to hear her reply.
"Oh no..I hate the bloody jerk..I SIMPLY HATE HIM…Usmein aur ek gunde mein koi farq nahi..I just bloody well hate him…..The way he looks at me, I hate it..The way he smiles ,I hate it…The way he tries to show off..I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM SAMJHA….",Gulaal spoke in a frenzy recalling her humiliation in front of the college and her own brother.
"Bas to phir tu aram se reh…..m …",RV turned around to walk away.
"Ruk Please do not talk about these things with Pinky…",Gulaal raised her eyebrows with concern.
(TINKY'S TWEET-I loathed him. I actually hated him ,but still I shivered at the thought of Pinky intervening. I knew he would make Kesar bleed to death ..but somehow my heart still melted for him.)
"Tu chinta mat kar …I do not need any support……",RV walked away leaving Gulaal behind lost in her thoughts .
"Di …",RV's voice Gulaal stance as he stopped after walking a few steps.
"Di tu sach mein…..",RV looked at her curiously again.
"I TOLD YOU AGAIN RV..I HATE HIM…..I HATE THE VERY SIGHT OF HIM SAMJHA..Mera us ghatiya ladke se koi lena dena nahi hai…..",Gulaal shouted loudly trying to calm the upheaval of emotions which swooped down upon her.
RV smiled breathing a huge SIGH of relief and walked away….Gulaal breathed heavily trying hard to control her tears.
Standing like a statue for a few seconds ,she walked into the shower with a heavy heart completely unaware that her words stabbed HIM –the ONE who had just climbed the balcony, to catch a glimpse of her, following her from the station and in this process ad overheard their conversation----unaware that Ever since he had left her on that train, he stood there every day at the station waiting for her arrival clueless about her whereabouts-unaware that behind those flowing curtains near her balcony door stood there the boy whose heart was stabbed listening to her words-KESAR WIPED THE TEARS FROM HIS EYES .Those eyes which sought her, burned with humiliation and rage .Her words hurt her. Since 48 hours he had waited just to catch a glimpse of her, but all he got was HATRED. Yes he had earned it himself but yet in his heart, a tiny feeling had brewed somewhere that everything will be all right, but her abusive words made him choke. Wiping away tears of hurt, anger and humliation, Kesar looked at the Huge portrait of Karan and Gulaal which stood majestically adorning one of her walls.Gulaal's words echoed in his ears..., "I hate you...I hate you….."
Walking away, clutching his fist in frustration, he vowed to himself, "Miss Gulaal Tomar. Now I will give you a bloody well reason to hate me all your life…..You will hate me now …I SWEAR..."
TO BE CONTINUED IN NEXT PAGE
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