GibberishNonsense| KiSha FF | Epilogue, Page29 (Page 9)

12^th January

So guess what? I talked to Juhi. Again. What the hell is wrong with me, you may ask?  Truth is I honestly have NO idea. I don't know what I'm doing. Anyway,  Juhi, being the most die-hard fan of romantic novels and cheesy chick-flicks declared that what KD was demanding, in exchange for keeping his mouth shut, was ROMANTIC. Yes, she actually said that.

'Wow Kiya! THE Keshav Desai is asking for you to kiss him again! That is just so romantic'. Her words, not mine. She thinks that KD thinks that I'm a good kisser. Okay, Juhi: HOW on EARTH does that even MATTER? I mean, thank you, it's very flattering but I didn't even want to kiss him in the first place. Why must all this happen to me? Juhi is mental; that's what I've deduced. But I always knew that.

Anyway, I'm not going to demoralize myself like that. I have principles, strong ones and I'm not going to waver. That's it. No exceptions. I'd rather eat something that I find absolutely disgusting rather than kiss KD again. No, I mean it.

Anyway, Royal calls. More later!

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Okay. I'm off my rocker. I've lost my brain and all sense of logic has gone out of the window. So I can read what I wrote before I left for school and I've decided that I'm going to cross it out. Just so that no one can ever read it; mostly me; because what happened at Royal today definitely makes me a bad human being. I suck.

Actually, if you think about it from a twisted perspective, Karan would really appreciate me right now, because I did whatever I did, for him! That's what I've been telling myself at least, and it's not making me feel any better. And I know, I'm not making any sense once more and it's not going to help me if I have jumbled up ideas in this journal too. So, well here goes:

As soon as I'd reached, this time instead of looking for the bane of my existence, I went in search of my boyfriend, someone I've been hiding from for the past 3 days. Yes, call me a coward if you will.

I was looking for Karan, and guess where I found him? Talking to Piddi; in the classroom; and I couldn't help but spy on their conversation. It went something like this:

Karan: Yaar Piddi, tune Kiya ko kahin dekha hai?

Piddi: Dude, who teri girlfriend hai! Main dekh kar kya karoonga!? 

Gosh, that guy's too much! He's gonna make me laugh. Yes, after being in the same circle of friends as Pratham Punj for about 2 years, I've learnt to laugh at his jokes. Now, I don't even have to make an effort! He automatically cracks me up!

Karan: Are waise nahin! Have you seen her today in school?

Piddi: OHH! No man, not yet! Have you asked KD Bhai? If he's had a fight with her since this morning, you'll know if she's here or not.

As much as he cracks me up, sometimes, I really wanna hit him on the head.  Honestly.

Karan: Yaar, I just wanna see her! I haven't seen her properly since the past few days and I really need to talk to her!

So after that sentence, I ran off and hid in the girls' toilets. I mean, what else could I do? I couldn't afford to listen anymore! He said he had to talk to me. I mean, he had to have found out somehow. And here, I thought that my boyfriend was the most oblivious one.

I can't visualize his agony filled eyes when he tells me that he knows. He knows about the escapade I had with KD. I can't let myself go through the pain of the break-up. I mean sure, I was getting a bit tired of the whole no-attention thing, and the whole 'he's-only-with-me-because-of-the-limelight' thing but I've invested almost a year into this relationship. I can't have one more failure. I can't. I won't know how to deal with it.

Therefore, as I sat there sitting there in the girls' toilets, I came to a drastic conclusion. I'm going to give in. To KD's 'proposal', I mean.


AAARGH. I'm so frustrated! I need everything to get back to how it used to be, and I want KD not to have anything to hold against me. Now really, is that too much to ask?

-Kiya Gujral, the girl who's made a decision.

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..to be continued

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