Ek Hazaaron Mein Meri Behna Hain

   

Lying in your feet & Living in your arms-Jeeman OS

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Amii90

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Amii90

Joined: 30 June 2005

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Posted: 20 September 2012 at 3:26am | IP Logged
I honestly don't know what I have written; just something that came to mind and I jotted it down without giving it a second thought! Requires major editing but due to lack of time, I wasn't able to do so; please ignore the grammatical errors! Comments/Criticisms are welcome! (PS: First attempt of writing something on Jeeman)

Lying in your feet & Living in your arms


There she was, sitting on the bed with her eyes closed and a pillow in her lap; she had isolated herself in a dark room after the conversation that she just had with her sister. Each and every word of that conversation echoed in her ears; it was an expected reaction but still deep down, she hoped that she would understand. If not her, then who will? Tears continued to roll down as she recalled those words of her sister, "Di, aapne mujhe zindagi nahi maut di hai"; just the word 'maut' managed to send shivers down her spine yet again. Did she really do all that for nothing? 

Manvi's silence and anger in return of her sacrifice almost made it all seem worthless; yes she saved her sister, but in actual terms, she lost her. She handled all the pain without uttering a word but this- her silence- was killing her more than anything; she knew Manvi would express anger, but now that it has been almost a week since they have talked, it is becoming intolerant for her. She knew Manvi's anger is more than just that; her anger really mirrored her love, her concern for her Di, but Manvi really needs to understand that I couldn't have just sit through her cancer knowing that I had the chance to save her!!! While she was immersed in her thoughts, she twitched her foot slightly as she felt a droplet on her foot, and just as she opened her eyes, she saw a pair of hand resting on her feet.

She quickly leaned forward and held those hands as she looked in her eyes nodding her head to forbid her from what she was doing. Manvi quickly got up and sat next to Jeevika crushing her in a tight hug and they stayed like that for an eternity; a room that had pin drop silence few minutes ago was now echoeing with loud sobs. Jeevika rubbed her back and carassed her hair to calm her down but it seemed like a dam over filled with emotions had broken down; those tears were words of Manvi's guilt, her gratitude, her devotion towards her GOD and for Jeevika, they were tears of her acceptance and forgiveness , her breakdown, her joy of getting Manvi back. Jeevika slowly pulled herself back stroking Manvi's hair and placed a soft kiss on her forehead. 

Could words have done justice if Manvi was to express her apology to Jeevika for hurting her during all these days, for not understanding what she must have gone through dealing with a loss of her baby, for not being there for her when she needed her the most; Could words have done justice if Manvi was to express her gratitude to Jeevika for saving her- how does one thank their GOD? She opted for something that she felt couldn't have been more perfect; She seeked solace and forgiveness as she touched her feet with a devotion that one ought to have towards their God- a GOD that she can proudly claim as one of her own, her own blood & her God-Jeevika held her in her arms, protecting her angel from all the harm!!!
**********************************************************************************************************




Edited by Amii90 - 20 September 2012 at 3:25am

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jeemanrocksakrititaurusmy.shringEHMMBH-loverisha01ammyanshujenna_p..Jessie..dmg123noboshine123sanjana_coolSaaraa.hnisha-Pj-Neha.K.*Reemz*

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nobo

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nobo

Joined: 14 March 2012

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Posted: 20 September 2012 at 3:52am | IP Logged
Awesome Amii, one of the most wonderful I have came across recently !! Such beautifully penned out ( lol I love your quick thoughts from now on ) , do think more often & do write more often

I loved the line ' She twitched her foot slightly as she felt a droplet on her foot'
& the rest that followed...It's so peaceful some times. When words fails towards ur elder/sister/mum/god...why not surrender to them..they handle things from there, Just like J did, Wrapping her arms around her as if saving from every evil thing of world. 
 Dunno but it felt just like when we have no hope left Then don't we make absurd promises to ourselves &Surrender everything to god, It's our devotion that ensures us nothing would went wrong...that things will Heal themselves, 

Beautifully said the part that Manvi opted sth that was peaceful & apologizing at same time... Good shot man !! Keep up the good work

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akrititaurusAmii90..Jessie..shine123Neha.K.*Reemz*

*Reemz*

IF-Stunnerz

*Reemz*

Joined: 10 May 2005

Posts: 41395

Posted: 20 September 2012 at 4:00am | IP Logged
This is the first OS I have read in God knows how long and I loved it, felt it and imagined it <3 I really hope the reconciliation matches up to something like this. With no-one around PLEASE? Will you be continuing this?? (Yeh my knowledge of FFs/OS is quite rubbish)

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akrititaurusnoboshine123Amii90-Pj-Neha.K.

shine123

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shine123

Joined: 20 May 2012

Posts: 3614

Posted: 20 September 2012 at 4:09am | IP Logged
Awesome os...
loved it...
Ps:well my comments r always short...

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Amii90noboNeha.K.

..Jessie..

IF-Dazzler

..Jessie..

Joined: 18 November 2011

Posts: 2739

Posted: 20 September 2012 at 4:57am | IP Logged
AMII dude i was planning to ask you one but thank god you fulfilled my wish. That was beautiful as you always give us. <3.

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Amii90Neha.K.

Neha.K.

IF-Sizzlerz

Neha.K.

Joined: 16 January 2007

Posts: 15587

Posted: 20 September 2012 at 5:25am | IP Logged
Umraan di saanjh hove yaar tere naal..
Bas mainu ehna hi pyar tere naal :)

( i dnt know why but this song came to my mind while reading this- suits JeeMan na?)

1st of all I want to say,u made my day
(wow tht rhymed :P).
..i read n re-read n re-re-read it and believe me it Amazed me to the core...
I won't say something u know already obviously, but just for the beautiful way to put it: SUPERBBB...BRILLIANT PENNED and ADMIRABLE writing in Every Sense..i can't even begin to tell u how much i LOVEDDD...i thoroughly enjoy your writing style because its neat, precise and JeeMan in it made it UNIQUE and Divine :)

she twitched her foot slightly as she felt a droplet on her foot, and just as she opened her eyes, she saw a pair of hand resting on her feet
. - it was BANGGG ONNN!!!! i totally loved this one to the core...

a GOD that she can proudly claim as one of her own, her own blood & her God-Jeevika held her in her arms, protecting her angel from all the harm!!! - B.E.A.U.T.I.F.U.L. - I seriously feel that  there is no need for me to say anything at all...the part speaks for itself!!!!

You are going to continue it..right? M waiting for next part eagerly :D its Magical...
HeartHeartHeartHeart Love you!!!!!!!!!


Edited by Neha.K. - 20 September 2012 at 11:49am

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akrititaurusAmii90nobo

Amii90

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Amii90

Joined: 30 June 2005

Posts: 3318

Posted: 20 September 2012 at 3:27pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by nobo

Awesome Amii, one of the most wonderful I have came across recently !! Such beautifully penned out ( lol I love your quick thoughts from now on ) , do think more often & do write more often

I loved the line ' She twitched her foot slightly as she felt a droplet on her foot'
& the rest that followed...It's so peaceful some times. When words fails towards ur elder/sister/mum/god...why not surrender to them..they handle things from there, Just like J did, Wrapping her arms around her as if saving from every evil thing of world. 
 Dunno but it felt just like when we have no hope left Then don't we make absurd promises to ourselves &Surrender everything to god, It's our devotion that ensures us nothing would went wrong...that things will Heal themselves, 

Beautifully said the part that Manvi opted sth that was peaceful & apologizing at same time... Good shot man !! Keep up the good work


Thank You :) Honestly it just came to my mind while I was working on my assignment and I just had to jot it down!!! I guess sometimes spontaneity works the best!! With the given relationship of Jeeman, I couldn't think of anything else as how Manvi & Jeevika would reconcile! And part of the reason of not including dialogues was just that- words couldn't have done justice to it! 

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nobo

Amii90

IF-Dazzler

Amii90

Joined: 30 June 2005

Posts: 3318

Posted: 20 September 2012 at 3:35pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by *Reemz*

This is the first OS I have read in God knows how long and I loved it, felt it and imagined it <3 I really hope the reconciliation matches up to something like this. With no-one around PLEASE? Will you be continuing this?? (Yeh my knowledge of FFs/OS is quite rubbish)

I saw your 'like' Reema and I honestly sat there thinking out loud "She READ this?" because like you have mentioned, I knew that you don't read OS/FF as much so just knowing that you read this is more of a compliment in itself! I had initially planned to involve Viren and Manvi's dialogue conversation where Viren would help Manvi to understand Jeevika's situation (apparently that happened in today's episode) and Manvi's realization to follow after that, but like I said I was in middle of my assignment, so I didn't have the time to make an extensive OS! And as for your question of continuing it, umm it was just a one shot of my take on their reconciliation so now that is done, its pretty much a wrap lol! I had planned one version with dialogues incorporated in it but decided to go with this one as it synced in well with the theme I wanted to project- words couldn't have done justice! So yes but I am glad you were able to relate to it! Thank You :)


Edited by Amii90 - 20 September 2012 at 3:50pm

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nobo*Reemz*

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