RaHi FF | NewBeginnings | Parts6&7, Page11 (Page 7)

Hey everyone, here's part 4 of NewBeginnings. This part has a lot of emotion attached to it and it was something that was going on in my head ever since I heard 'Yaariyan' after yesterday's episode. I asked Piyu to make a VM of it too, since I'm rubbish at that sort of thing but I had to pen it down, so well, here goes: 

Once again, thanks a lot for all the reviews. They keep me inspired and are very much loved!

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NewBeginnings

Chapter 4 - Yaariyaan

'Alvida, yaara alvida,

Ho rahe, tumse hum juda,

Le chale, saare gham tere,

Khush rahe, yaara tu sada.

Tumse bhi zyaada hongi, ab yaadein pyaariyaan,

Hum donon ki hain apni, apni laachariyan'

Panchi Roy couldn't help but stop in her tracks as soon as she heard 'Yaariyan' blare out of her speakers.  A face flashed right in front of her mind's eye. Memories so powerful that it caused her knees to give way, making her sink right down to the marble floor.

The face belonged to none other than Ranveer Shergill. She'd had a soft corner for him ever since she could remember. Those brown eyes, that charming dimpled smile; no wonder girls were attracted to him like moths to a flame. She remembered the first time she'd met him; he'd helped her make a sandcastle on the beach. She didn't know his name, he didn't know hers; they just sat there, collecting wet sand, moulding it in shape to make a beautiful structure.

Moulding. It's such a funny word, Panchi smiled sadly as she thought about the friendship that the two of them shared.  When they had met in Royal Academy a few days later, having joined the school on the same day, they knew they'd share a wonderful friendship. With personalities like chalk and cheese, they'd learnt to mould each other according to their relationship as 'best friends'.

She didn't know what had changed; whether it was him, or her, she had no idea. High school had changed both of them; he had discovered the 'beauty' and 'charm' in being the school's Casanova and she had learnt to harbour her feelings for him, never letting it come in the way of their relationship.

'Marz bhi hai deti,

Chain bhi hai deti,

Dard bhi hai deti,

Jaan bhi hai leti,

Yaariyaan'

A lonely tear escaped her eye. Her stomach churned, and so she sat there, pulling her knees to her chest, clutching them tightly.  It hurt. Whenever she saw him with another girl, whispering sweet nothings into her ear, it hurt. She wanted to be that girl. She wanted him to hold her, take care of her, and protect her from everything that tried to harm her.

He was her Prince Charming, and her 'magical' fantasy had come crashing down around her as another memory overpowered her. One in which Ranveer had so carelessly classified her as his 'teddy bear'. Was that all everything they shared had come to? She didn't know. She didn't know.

The tears had started to fall freely now, and all she could think of was the time when he'd told her everything. He'd told her that she was his rock. He'd told her never to let him be by himself. He'd told her he'd never hurt her.  He had told her she was the only part of his day that was 'real'.  He closed her eyes tightly, trying to block the images out of her head, but they kept coming back, haunting her.

'Ab jeene ko jaane ko, na koi rasta,

Tanhaiyon se hoga, ab dil ka vaasta,

Hum khud hi khud ko,

Kar lenge laapata'

Panchi pulled her head up from her knees only to stare at the mirror that was placed directly opposite to where she was seated.  She could see a blurry image of herself, cheeks tainted with tears; her smile lost into oblivion, her eyes replacing the spark within them with an irritable shade of red, sprouting tears steadily.

This is how she felt about herself; blurry. She felt like she had lost a very important part of herself. She had lost who she was. Despite being surrounded by people, she couldn't help but feel lonelier by the minute. Was this how it going to be? She stood up, and walked towards the mirror. She saw herself at that very minute for what she was; vulnerable, scared and alone. There wasn't a single thing that she could turn to at this very minute for solace. It used to be Ranveer, wiping her tears every time she cried ' usually about someone calling her fat. She had no one but herself, and that wasn't a very comforting thought. 

'Maan le tu aise,

Hain zara bhole se,

Jaante hai waise,

Hain nibhaani kaise,

Yaariyaan'

She was naive. Every single time she watched a Disney movie, her face lit up like a child's on Christmas morning. She knew that her happy ending was round the corner somewhere. It was waiting for her. It was waiting with open arms and when she found it, she would get lost inside it forever and that was that. Her happy ending, her world, with her Prince Charming; where everything would be perfect. Little did she know that as time went by, her dreams would gradually get tainted with the harshness of the reality that was her life.

She remembered the time when she had covered for Ranveer when the prank on Banga sir had been pulled. She remembered standing a few steps in front of him, her back facing his front. She knew she had to protect him, just like he'd always done for her. She couldn't help but ask again; what changed? What changed so drastically, that she wasn't his 'rock' anymore, but merely a 'teddy bear'? Merely a thing that, he carried around when he felt lonely? She cried for him, she cried for herself, she cried for their friendship that was lost somewhere along the way; she cried for her loss.

'Marz bhi hai deti,

Chain bhi hai deti,

Dard bhi hai deti,

Jaan bhi hai leti,

Yaariyaan'

They were friends. They were supposed to be each other's shield; be it from anything! Panchi gradually made her way towards her bed and lay down. She was exhausted and she didn't know what to do anymore. She wasn't strong. It wasn't as though she hadn't tried. She had, and each time, she had failed miserably. She expected too much, and got nothing in return. She gave it her all, and didn't get anything back. 

She was like a piece of glass; on which people threw rocks over and over again, causing her to break down in shreds, never to be whole again.  That morning when she'd had her epiphany of not changing for anyone, she hadn't realised the paradoxical nature of the promise that she'd made to herself. She had to change. For the better, for herself, and this time, there wasn't going to be anyone trying to break her. Not if she could help it. As that thought entered her mind, she clutched her blanket tightly around her and drifted off to sleep.

Panchi Roy was going to be okay. 

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There it is, let me know what you think. 

...to be continued

Track used: Yaariyaan reprise from Cocktail. It isn't mine, I've just used it for the purposes of conveying my message across. It'd help if you played it along with the part :)