Joined: 25 July 2012
"Khushi!" he screamed into the night, holding his hand out to something he couldn't reach. His expressions read pain and anguish at not being able to reach where he wanted to, yet again. His dreams never led him to his destiny, his life... yet again.
He was panting, as though he'd run many many miles. His heart constricted and hurt him, his breath hitching in his throat. He was unsuccessful, a failure. A failure in saving the life of the one he loved the most. He lost her and she was gone. Gone forever.
Looking around, he saw that he was in his room. The same old room that held her memories. The same room that made him feel home... when she was there. The same room that laughed back at him, as though ridiculing him for his unsuccessful devoirs. Her memories peeked through every nook of the room, and he sighed fully aware that he would never be able to go back to her.
The curtains flew along with the breeze, when Arnav realized that the French doors to his room were left open. He was never used to closing it. She always did it.
He went up to the ledge of the windows and looked out into the moon bathed poolside. It was blue, with the ripples on the pool causing its silhouette to distort in many directions, giving it an eerie aura. He thought it reflected how his life was- Tarnished.
As he looked on, the blue light grew brighter till his eyes could take it no more and he closed his eyes.
He saw her.
Her laughter reverberated through the air, as she ran along the front garden of the Raizada Mansion.
"You can't catch me, Arnav" she laughed as she ran around avoiding his catch.
She had a hint of excited nervousness in her eyes that Arnav noticed the moment he saw her approaching him, but before he could ask her about it, she grabbed the bouquet of roses he'd gotten for her and run away towards the garden.
After a long ensue, he caught up with her, bringing her gently down with him as they fell onto the grass.
"Khushi, what is it?" he asked her, anticipation clearly evident in his tone, as if he knew what was coming. "Is it true?" he gasped his insides in total pandemonium.
She smiled and blushed into his arms.
He opened his eyes. The light was gone; gone as quickly as it had come. Was he imagining things now?
He sighed and sat by the ledge, reminiscing all his moments with her. Just the mere thought of her, made her alive within him.
Life was wonderful and beautiful when looked through her eyes, from her point of view. He missed her, enlivening him about life and how to make it worthwhile, and for a person as such, why had life been so unfair and not let her live?
She smiled at him through tears, as they sat in the backseat of their car. Arnav placed his hands over Khushi's stomach, his face expressing concern for his wife while emitting a glow of happiness. Happiness, because he was expecting his bundle of joy in a few moments to come.
"I cannot wait for our lil princess Khushi" Arnav said, kissing her forehead. "You do know what amount of joy you're giving me?"
"It's going to be a boy Arnav. My lil rakshas, a carbon copy of his father" she smiled at him.
"No Khushi it's goi--" but before he could get his defense out, a loud clamor resounded the air.
He jerked back into reality. She left a void space in his life that could never be filled. Khushi Kumari Gupta Singh Raizada had left him that day. She left him behind to fend for himself, when she knew for a fact he couldn't imagine one step without her.
He'd still made it until this day. He really wondered how.
Their journey had been a magical one. Like a magical ride. To just be with each other was what they yearned and what they always fulfilled, up until that fateful day.
His eyes became blurry again. He felt as if he was amidst the whites of the mists that surrounded heaven. If this was heaven, surely she would be somewhere around. She was an angel after all.
A soft and mystical music sounded to his ears. It was like the music that the nightingale sings; something which he connoted with Khushi. He desperately looked around for her, failing to find her again.
Somewhere in the distance, he saw a pure being, clad in white. She looked dazzling and mesmerizing, that he was immediately drawn to her presence. But as he neared her, he found that her expression was painful, almost morbid. She was trying hard to say something to him, but he couldn't perceive anything.
"Arnav, promise me. Promise me that you'd save the baby" she pled as she was rushed into the hospital, her face drenched in blood.
"Everything's going to be fine, love. It's all going to be okay. Don't you worry. I'm going to make everything fine." he cried, as he ran along with the stretcher.
"Please Arnav, please promise me."
"Shut up Khushi!" he barked. "Nothing is going to happen to either of you. I WILL MAKE SURE OF IT."
He had failed. Failed in taking care of her.
The doors to the Operation theatre opened and he caught a last glimpse of Khushi with her eyes open, constantly pleading with him to do as she said. Somehow she knew what was to come about.
He had traveled so far since that day, but his life stopped at that moment. The world seemed so new and alien to him, like an altogether different place that beheld nothing in store for him, except'
"Mr. Raizada, it's a baby girl", the doctor announced as she came out of the OT, looking sullen.
"Doctor... Khushi...?" his face held that last amount of hope.
She merely shook her head.
"She didn't survive", she said with her hands on his shoulder, in assurance.
But Arnav would not be assured.
He felt numb for the first time in years. His world came crashing down.
Falling to the ground, he stood still. Time stood still.
The crying in the distance brought him out of the trance. It grew louder till he realized where it emerged from.
He walked back to his bed, upon which lay his bundle of joy.
His little Khushi.
The precious gift that Khushi had left him.
Her only remembrance.
He had to live for her. She was his responsibility.
In the bask of the moonlight, she looked like a fresh new bud, ready to bloom and blossom, and he'd be doing the most grave mistake ever if he left it unnoticed, just because he was mourning his lonely life.
He cradled her in his arms and took her into the poolside. She loved that place; just like her mother did.
Little Khushi looked up at the navy sky with interest. The milky white stars shined and glowed as fireflies.
He looked up and for the first time in days, appreciated something. The night looked so calm at this time, and the stars adorning it looked even more beautiful.
As the brightest star in the sky twinkled, little Khushi let out a giggle.
And suddenly, nothing was the same anymore.
Realization hit him hard as certain facts started to dawn upon him.
"Third star to the right"
"I'll always look down upon you"
"I can never bear even the smallest hint of sadness in your eyes Arnav, let alone tears."
"I'll be watching you."
She was here. She always was.
She was alive within their baby.
He looked at his daughter and kissed her lovingly, feeling something close to being alive after a long time.
Somewhere in the sky, a shooting star fell.
"I love you, Khushi", he whispered.
The mist surrounded him again, as the pure being came closer.
It was her.
She bore a dazzling smile on her face, unlike the painful one, as a lone tear fell across her cheek.
She came closer to him, till she hugged him, her embrace as warm as ember, surrounding him in her sanctuary.
His world was no longer empty.
Bathed in blue, the walls of my memory divides the thorns from the roses, it's you who is closest.
So happy kinda ending for you Di
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