I'm in a phase of my life where there seems no light, looks like I'm in a dark tunnel.
I have one dissappointment after another. Just can't find any job for example, I have a feeling of being useless, I keep trying but looks like my path is blocked, I give one interview after another but everytime I'm rejected. This disappoints me very much. Besides that, we have financial problems. I know my husband loves me a lot and I love him equally much, but Im so unhappy and sometimes I cant stand him. If he makes one little mistake of says something wrong, I get very angry at him which I actually dont want to do.
We live in a country where we are considered as outsiders for the white people, maybe that is also a reason why I don't get a job.
We had family problems also, my parents has problems, my brother has problems with my father, my husband has problems with his family, they are not on talking terms, his family writes very mean letters to us.
I'm from one country, and my husband from another, when we met each other and married I moved to his country, but he wants to move from his country and go to my country, where all the families are with all the big problems. After coming to his country I got some rest and peace of mind, far away from everyone else we made our world. But he's so blind, he doesn't want to stay in this western country and wants to go back to my country.
As a good wife I always supported him in all decisions, but I'm very much scared of this decision of him. Because here we have certain securities and luxuries, which we won't have there. And besides that when the family will come to know we are back in the country lots of dramas will happen again. I thought when I will get a job here maybe we will postpone our emigration plans for some time. Telling him that I dont want to go back is not an option as he will not listen to me.
Am I being ungrateful? Am I being unhappy for no reason? Please give your views and advice.