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Balika Vadhu

Dadisa's mistake .. And Jagya's mistakes..

prerna4rishav IF-Stunnerz
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Posted: 08 September 2012 at 10:14pm | IP Logged
Okie guys, I am really surprised to see people comparing Jagya-Gauri's nonsense with Dadisa's old crimes .. As a DS fan, I felt of making this thread putting forth my opinion about it.. Smile

First of all, let's have a look into DS's background.. She is portrayed as an old lady ( even pre-leap, she was a Dadi only ) from a rural village .. She had grown up in an environment where women are treated as commodities .. where number of incidents of 'female foeticide' is maximum ( Rajasthan ).. where education hadn't been available for women for AGES.. where the 'sarpanch' of a village makes separate law from actual Indian laws.. and they even refuse to believe the Indian laws if needed.. All they care about is 'social norms' and age-old customs no matter how regressive those are..

Now coming to Dadisa's characterization, she has been born and brought up in such environment.. Her life has been much cruel to her in initial days.. And when she reached her old days, she just returned life what she has got from them.. Agree all her methods, thoughts and everything was wrong.. But that was what her beliefs were.. She didn't do all those to 'hurt' people.. Whatever she does, what-ever, she does that out of STRONG faith in that and with ULTIMATE determination.. Her forcing ANandi to leave studies, not to let her play outside, forcing Gehna for a boy-kid, almost killing Basant's first wife.. and many MANY more.. But nothing came out of any 'personal' revenge.. If so, she would not been THAT dead against Sughna, her own grand-daughter's second marriage .. She even refused to see how happy her grand-daughter can be after her re-marriage.. And all these for what ? Just for the stupid superstitions and beliefs she had been brought up with..

True she became Sarpanch of her village in her end days, but life was not a bed of roses for her too !! She wasnt born with a silver spoon either.. She was in a haveli, where people like Mahabir Singh exist ! Did we all forget about the molestation attempt of that scumbag ? Did we all forget how DS struggled to come out of that haveli with a small kid in her lap ? If we come to think of it, DS got punishment for all her sins MUCH before she had committed those.. Nothing justifies DS's evil acts or the mental torture she had made her family members been through.. But those acts are the reflection of the traumatic period she has faced throughout her life as a woman !

It proves the reason behind forgiving THE Mahabir Singh - the scumbag as well Smile No one in the world can take his side and justify his male chauvinistic act he did with DS.. But still he was forgiven by one and all.. Why ? Cuz of the similar reason.. These people come from an age where they were TAUGHT to behave this way.. These values were roped in their blood ..

Now at present age, DS and Mahabir Singh are reformed beyond imagination.. They were given a chance to change themselves, and they accepted that oppurtunity with grace.. And here lies the difference between Jagya-Gauri and people like DS and Mahabir Singh etc etc.. Jagya-Gauri are brought up in a much liberal society, age-old norms ( except for BV ) seem to have loosened up a bit.. Women were allowed to go to skool.. They were given a chance to differentiate between Right and Wrong.. And even in such environment, these two people FAILED, absolutely miserably failed to judge what is right and what's wrong.. The misakes they have made, might not seem heavier than those of made by DS and MS, but if you go in depth, you'd see they are indeed much more unpardonable than DS's..

Firstly, Jagya-Gauri manipulated, lied, betrayed .. played with human emotions.. These traits can not be inherited to someone cuz of environment or customs.. These are in genes.. And that can never be changed.. Sleepy Dadisa, no matter how cruel she was, never PLAYED with emotions or manipulated anyone to get her 'selfish' purpose done..

Secondly, Jagya's ego vs. Dadisa's self-esteem.. When DS realized her mistakes, realized how WRONG she was, everytime she personally went and apologized in fronta that person.. She not only repents at her realization, she rectifies those with so much grace that it doesnt look mistakes anymore.. There had been numerous examples of that.. Do I need to provide any ? But we cant say the same about Jagya.. forget about accepting mistakes, when he is reminded of his wrong-doings, all he does is 'Blaming' others.. aquiring some stupid ego ( donno from where he even gets it Sleepy ) and cry and then do NOTHING except having self-pity..

Thirdly, DS might be extremely cruel in her earlier days, but even she did few selfless acts.. She gave a new life to Basant when she could simply leave her at the haveli to rot.. She never ever let Basant feel that he was not her own son.. In fact she adored him more than her own son.. Smile Which shows that her intentions behind any of her act can not be 'Selfish' and 'hurting family members intentionally'.. By all means, she put her family above everything.. But Jagya-Gauri.. OMG, their family values are just beyond discussion Dead.. The selfish duo can leave the whole world for each other.. Family comes last in their priority list.. Jagya was as happy as ever before he came to know about Gauri's deeds.. He cares two hoots about his family.. And this thing you can not change with time either..

All I would say is, DS's mistakes can not even be compared with Jagya-Gauri's ones.. Dadisa's mistakes were circumstances-driven.. JaGa's ones are intentional and selfish.. DS thought by doing those cruel acts she is taking care of her family.. no matter how wrong she was, her motive was well-being of her family.. But JaGa doesnt have any values inside them.. They are just plain selfish, mean and betrayor.. These traits can be controlled to an extent for a period, but you can not diminish or erase them completely from them.. That is why DS's mistakes can be forgiven as she drastically changed her thought process and became liberal, but Jaga's mistakes are unpardonable cuz they have 100% possibilities to re-appear..

Thanks.. Tongue


Edited by prerna4rishav - 08 September 2012 at 10:25pm

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Tuttifrutti Goldie
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Posted: 08 September 2012 at 10:25pm | IP Logged
What a way to say...if i do, i am good, and if othersdo..they are bad..you yourself mentioned so much about DS ..thanks and clearly states what ds did and if she can be pardoned Jagya too...you just dragged gauri to make your point strong...i do not think anyone talked about Gauri and her sorry..she never said,asked so far..no one talksed about Gauri...we are talikng about only JAGYA...WHAT A WAY TO DEGRADE JAGYA FURTHER BY PUTTING GAURI S SIN ALSO ON JAGYA..when Jagya came to know the truth it was he who slaped gauri and left him..

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Posted: 08 September 2012 at 10:29pm | IP Logged
Okie I have edited and made it only Jagya's mistakes.. Cuz even I think he is more at fault..

Now are you happy ? LOL.. Why are you almost shouting ? Writing in caps doesnt change the facts dear Smile..

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Tuttifrutti Goldie
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Posted: 08 September 2012 at 10:34pm | IP Logged

Some people just carry concave lense...they do not have convex lens to see the things...not me..but by writing that i am shouting..I can now very well imagine how civilzed you are..you have clearly shown your civilization by shouting yourself..good luck to you

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elasingh

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Posted: 08 September 2012 at 10:38pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by bhach

Some people just carry concave lense...they do not have convex lens to see the things...not me..but by writing that i am shouting..I can now very well imagine how civilzed you are..you have clearly shown your civilization by shouting yourself..good luck to you



Excuse me ? Confused According to the forum rules, writing in caps = shouting.. And that's what I said.. I am sorry if you were not aware of that.. or you took it in other way.. Confused

*Edit :-

For reference, check BV rule topic.. Point 6 ..

6. All Caps and bigger fonts: It is considered as "shouting"   on the internet and can be viewed as offensive.  In order to stress a point one word or two words can be written in CAPITALS or Bold.    Please DO NOT write the whole post in Capitals or Bold or use large size font.




Edited by prerna4rishav - 08 September 2012 at 10:37pm

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Posted: 08 September 2012 at 11:00pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by bhach

What a way to say...if i do, iam good, and if othersdo..they are bad..you yourself mentioned so much about DS ..thanks and clearly states what ds did and if she can be pardoned Jagya too...you just dragged gauri to make your point strong...i do not think anyone talked about Gauri and her sorry..she never said,asked so far..no one talksed about Gauri...we are talikng about only JAGYA...WHAT A WAY TO DEGRADE JAGYA FURTHER BY PUTTING GAURI S SIN ALSO ON JAGYA..when Jagya came to know the truth it was he who slaped gauri and left him..


Yeah. Your own words show that what a coward Jagiya is. First he left Anandi saying that she is bot worthy of him coz she is uneducated and ganwar. Now he left Gauri saying that she is a liar and selfish. In both the cases he escaped from the situation. If he ever loved Anandi then instead of leaving her he should have helped her in pursuing her studies further and acted as a strong support for her. If he ever loved Gauri he would have realised his mistakes first and then made her realise her mistakes, gone to Singhs together and ask for forgiveness. But he left her too.

You will say that he always supported Gauri and was with her even after she did his insults. Why ? Coz he loved her ?? No !! Coz he was degree less, jobless and hence money less at that time. He knew it that he has nothing and had to be dependent on her for everything !! If he'd have had a job and mobey he'd have left Gauri after first insult and have never given a damn to her !!

Same applies to Gauri. She was not with Jugs coz she loved him but coz of the Sumi's challenge to her, ''tumhaari shaadi jyaada din tak nahi chalegi''.

Its clear that both of them never loved each ither. They were each other for selfish reasons. LOVE is not at all the reason for them staying together !!

Now, dont take it wrong but i understand what makes you sympathise with Jagiya.
I never knew that with the people i am arguing are MALES. Their comments/ posts are now justified !!

Its an old habit of man to blame woman for everything.

''You are selfish, you are characterless. You did magic on me through your fake love and made me do things your way !!''
As if he was a doodh peeta munna who can be behlao phuslaoed by anyone !!

In the way Prerna has justified DS actions is AWESUM ! Clap

Whatever she did was coz of the stupid norms that were stuffed in her mind by some people. ( her parents ofcourse ! )
Moreover she is trying hard to rectify her mistakes. But what is Jagiya doing ?!! Except drinking hard, crying and falling here and there to gain sympathy ! If he is guilty then he should prove himself !! Show his parents that he has changed ! Parents know their child. They will notice if any positive change will take place in him. But a change wont come by drinking and crying. It will come by doing something !!

Everyone was angry when Anandi used to remember Jugs insults and cry. They said she should stand up and make her career instead of doing all rona dhona ! She DID STOOD UP ! As a result she is sarpanch of her village ! Same applies for Jagat ! He should make a place in his family's heart through his good actions not by making himself a phatehaal and getting sympathy as a bheekh !!

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aparnauma IF-Stunnerz
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Posted: 08 September 2012 at 11:25pm | IP Logged
@ prerna4rishav

I completely agree with you.Love this post.

People often judge her on the basis of that harsh demenour.Very rarely people try to see what lies beneath that exterior.While so many posts were dedicated to analyse the basis of Gauri's behaviour.

Here is this woman who was in her early twenties,barely literate, widowed with two small children to take care of one of which is a responsibility thrust on her, driven out of her  late husband's because she resisted her brother in law's advances. How tough it must have been for her to chalk out a life for herself and her two children out of nothing. 

The way she rose to be the matriarch of her family but the entire village.People often fail to see this accomplishment of hers.Along the way she became harsh because that's what life and circumstances required from her.Yes she was harsh to her daughters' in law.Because she perceived softness as weakness that will hamper life.
Her treatment of Basant's first wife came from her ignorance.She probably never seen a doctor during her pregnancy and her delivery was conducted by dhai and that must have made her oblivious to her daughter in laws precarious health status.
I agree she was most cruel to Gehna.Her behaviour can not be excused in this case.

Her harshness towards her daughters in law Sumi and later on Gehna is a result of her thinking that she knows best. After all she was very successful woman in her own right and that success does bring in some amount of arrogance.

About her treatment of Anandi.She was strict grandmother her methods to make little Anandi understand the consequences of her actions sometimes bordered on cruelty.But she never belittled that girl or made her feel inadequate the way J did.DS  was always aware of Anandi's strenghts and positive points.She knew that A is far superior than her laadesar J.In her attempt to bring some equality into J and A' relationship she tried to bring A down to J's level instead of trying to bring J's level to A. That was her biggest mistake.

Finally when she was made to face the consequences of her mistakes she tried/still tries her best to correct her mistakes.Her mistakes were a result of her desire to see her family happy and were committed in order to keep her family together.

Jagya's mistakes were a result of his selfishness and when faced with the consequences of his mistakes he blamed everyone.By the time he owned up his mistakes it is too late for him.

You can not compare DS's mistakes with that of J's.



Edited by aparnauma - 08 September 2012 at 11:25pm

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prerna4rishav IF-Stunnerz
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Posted: 08 September 2012 at 11:33pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by aparnauma

@ prerna4rishav

I completely agree with you.Love this post.

People often judge her on the basis of that harsh demenour.Very rarely people try to see what lies beneath that exterior.While so many posts were dedicated to analyse the basis of Gauri's behaviour.

Here is this woman who was in her early twenties,barely literate, widowed with two small children to take care of one of which is a responsibility thrust on her, driven out of her  late husband's because she resisted her brother in law's advances. How tough it must have been for her to chalk out a life for herself and her two children out of nothing. 

The way she rose to be the matriarch of her family but the entire village.People often fail to see this accomplishment of hers.Along the way she became harsh because that's what life and circumstances required from her.Yes she was harsh to her daughters' in law.Because she perceived softness as weakness that will hamper life.
Her treatment of Basant's first wife came from her ignorance.She probably never seen a doctor during her pregnancy and her delivery was conducted by dhai and that must have made her oblivious to her daughter in laws precarious health status.
I agree she was most cruel to Gehna.Her behaviour can not be excused in this case.

Her harshness towards her daughters in law Sumi and later on Gehna is a result of her thinking that she knows best. After all she was very successful woman in her own right and that success does bring in some amount of arrogance.

About her treatment of Anandi.She was strict grandmother her methods to make little Anandi understand the consequences of her actions sometimes bordered on cruelty.But she never belittled that girl or made her feel inadequate the way J did.DS  was always aware of Anandi's strenghts and positive points.She knew that A is far superior than her laadesar J.In her attempt to bring some equality into J and A' relationship she tried to bring A down to J's level instead of trying to bring J's level to A. That was her biggest mistake.

Finally when she was made to face the consequences of her mistakes she tried/still tries her best to correct her mistakes.Her mistakes were a result of her desire to see her family happy and were committed in order to keep her family together.

Jagya's mistakes were a result of his selfishness and when faced with the consequences of his mistakes he blamed everyone.By the time he owned up his mistakes it is too late for him.

You can not compare DS's mistakes with that of J's.



I thought of selecting few paragraphs and posting that 'I agree' as a reply, but couldnt single out one out of the whole post..

This surely deserves standing ovation.. I am not so good in english that's why couldnt put it this well.. But your post said all which I wanted to say Embarrassed

I am a great admirer of this woman, and how she established herself in the village as sarpanch.. I love her strength and determination like anything.. Embarrassed Comparing DS with such weak and cheater Jagya hurt me a lot.. Hence this post.. Ouch

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