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maha2us IF-Dazzler
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Posted: 11 September 2012 at 12:14am | IP Logged
Now a probable solution to this problem. The poem itself has a key to the solution. 'Reasons unjustified.' is a line in the poem. I ask why am I to believe an unjustified reason? A programmed belief has been made a truth through generations and so the society we see now is unfair to women. What can we do? One point I learn is this is not the only unfair aspect we see in this World. Things which happen in this world are more unfair than fair. All of you will accept that rich have one rule and poor have another rule. We have even seen parents giving preference to one child over another.
 
One point. Probably we may be able to accept that the belief of women that they need the support and the protection of men is a false belief. But many persons in the society may not accept this and they feel clinging on to the old belief gives safety to them. Also it is impossible for anyone to change this belief all on a sudden. It is upto each of us to challenge this false belief. The hard truth is we can't dislodge the deep-seated beliefs in people. How many people believe what is said in Thirukkural are all maxims? Because of this reason we could not change the society. An attempt to change the society makes no sense to me.
 
One point I can say is we can follow the examples of those who challenged these false beliefs. One truth I learn is God wants everyone of us to show up as extra ordinary or someone who could make some difference in this World like Gandhiji or Tagore or Madame Curie. That capability is in everyone. If I can find how I can excel in life, it will give satisfaction. I won't be frustrated by the unfair situations in this World. A person who could direct his/her efforts in this line would not be frustrated by these types of unfair happenings. Interestingly those who have excelled in this World all had to accept this point as they themselves were treated unfairly in this world. Complaining that my parents ill-treated me and pampered my brother is going to take me nowhere.
 


Edited by maha2us - 11 September 2012 at 1:26am

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maha2us IF-Dazzler
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Posted: 11 September 2012 at 12:17am | IP Logged
One last point. My dear sisters! I have all of you in my heart. Whatever I said I meant to hurt no one. If anyone is hurt by what I said, please forgive me.


Edited by maha2us - 11 September 2012 at 1:31am

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thendralfan007MindFreezervjayamGiselShemmo

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Posted: 11 September 2012 at 1:50am | IP Logged
I would like to take the honor of writing the poemSmile !
And I didn't know that version of Ahalya's story. Thanks for the info.
There is one basic point you are trying to point out in all your comments as to "Probably we may be able to accept that the belief of women that they need the support and the protection of men is a false belief." I guess a support of man (real man) is needed by women. In the earlier stages when a father doesn't give that strength or courage, then comes the brother and then of course the husband. A girl today at age of 20, if she says that she is able to face the world and doesn't want to get married (I have heard a lot of my friends say that), that is necessarily because of their fathers. They have given them support, independence, courage and most importantly believed in them. 
I, being a girl, know the physical and mental pain, a girl has to undergo throughout her life. 
"I am fragile. I am week. I affirm. I speak." One such pain would be when she wants to do something but can not because the society will talk bad of her and her family. Talking about physical pain, it is not just the labor pain which is equal to 20 bones getting fracture at a time, there is much more.


Edited by Gisel - 11 September 2012 at 2:23am

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vjayamMindFreezerShemmo

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Posted: 11 September 2012 at 2:24am | IP Logged
Men have jumped from dhotis to pants. Women from saris and salwars to pants. And we all know how everyone looks at ..you know want I am saying. This is basically with reference to the Tamil community.
Now let's come to a general community.
Watch the video (from 13.00 to 13.45)
We can clearly see the bias here.
"You are a women how can you be smoking? Aren't you ashamed?"
I would have liked it better if she said, "When a man isn't ashamed why should I be?"
Well what she says is that it is her personal desire which again no one should question. If someone advises that it is no good for your health, it is more than fine.


Edited by Gisel - 11 September 2012 at 6:11am

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vjayamMindFreezerShemmo

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Posted: 11 September 2012 at 4:51am | IP Logged
[
Same is not the case with MM. His ego was shattered when Bhuvana left her and to prove his point he not only married again but also tortured Thulasi during her tender days. He could never forgive Bhuvana. And so he is cruel to her even today as she stayed in Bhuvana's home. But for Thulasi she is also programmed to believe that she needs man to protect her. And she wants to have the love of the first man in her life at any cost who is her dad. And she is behaving in this way.
 
Isn't Laavanya behaving in a certain way in her husband's home because of her insecurity? Can we say if Nitish were more loving and understanding to her, she wouldn't have been so bad? Wouldn't she have felt overwhelmed as she entered a rich household where her MIL was nagging at her?
[/QUOTE]
 
A good analysis maha...but a small diff of opinion or rather interpretation..
For T it is just love and not needing man to protect her...T is shown as someone who gives a lot of importance to integrity and committment, In fact if it is just protection vel shud hv been welcomed or anand's proposal which came with affirmation to educate also...but it is not so..having been always taunted as someone who wud behave in a manner that her biological mother did,she abhors the thought of immorality and deception and letting down...
 
reg lavanya the analysis u gave is precisely what T told nitish as she understands the sentiments being a girl...
 
we or most of us follow the principle of "advaita" which is the principle of nondualism...Given the same circumstances, situation, background, there is only one response, which makes all of us unique and our responses to a given situation or circumstance unique...
 
in the case of sudha, her own background explains much of her character..her selfishness or ability to think of herself first arises from being the only child, a highly pampered at that. This cud be also why the thought of being called as sister by T at first made her mellow down a bit...but still she is highly suspicious of everyone around, probably because she has no one to talk with about any of her thoughts...her only companion is puvi who is not given to any kind of intense talk with her and mostly brushes away what she says..GW has also not added anything of value to her life except  probably confirming her impression about the world.  if gw had been a mother figure which sudha lacks, then sudha cud have been more understanding or on the other hand jealous of the second daughter-in-law for sharing her affection..
for sudha the only thing of comfort as she sees is the money that she is blessed with  and that too from paternal side only...so she feels that is her strong point and fights and protects it at all times...
But am sure once she is shown unconditional love, she will become a changed person...
 
 

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thendralfan007MindFreezerShemmo

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Posted: 11 September 2012 at 6:58pm | IP Logged
Wow great job here guys interesting views. 

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thendralfan007MindFreezervjayamShemmo

Gisel Goldie
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Posted: 13 September 2012 at 4:55am | IP Logged
Hm..not much of an expected response!
So I think it is time to close our discussion...
PS- How do we do it?

Thank you Maha, Vijayam, Shamz and others for the warm support!Smile



Edited by Gisel - 12 December 2012 at 9:10am

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thendralfan007MindFreezervjayamShemmo

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Posted: 13 September 2012 at 12:40pm | IP Logged
@Gisel: I lost the line now. Hahaha didnt came for few days, so dont know what Maha Uncle and Jaya akka were discussing Big smile

But super idea, like a discussion thread. We shall start more of it. Great job Thumbs Up 
Waiting for another one from you Smile

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