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Dill Mill Gaye
Dill Mill Gaye

My FIRST EVER AR OS : SACCHA PYAAR.

sgksg Goldie

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Posted: 07 September 2012 at 1:52pm | IP Logged
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Armaan_ForeverarakRogue...sakshiAsochonarads73937Sayali_KSGHR-DMG4lifesmiley_lizi.Naruto.

sgksg Goldie

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sgksg Goldie

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Rogue... Goldie
Rogue...
Rogue...

Joined: 11 July 2012
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Posted: 07 September 2012 at 11:56pm | IP Logged
Wow man wow !! I actually read the whole stuff !!...seemed i was viewing  those 80s hindi commercial flicks ...all the masalas were present !!!  & Sids saying  '' ab Riddhima ki body sirf mera hoga ''  wah bhai wah ...what   a line !   But mate u  shd ve given a more dramatic entry to Armaan ...y use his hand to break the window when he was on a bike?   He shd ve  entered with his bike breaking the window & ride it over Sid !  ...& then say '' Yo basket yeh lo aa gaya tumhari Apple ...ab is kutte ki khair  nahi '' !...( pls pardon my bad hindi )   & Riddhima saying '' mujhe pata tha tum aaoge meri Apple '' !
Suhagraat  part ...simply mindblowing ...but y did u stop after they got under the sheets ...ouch tht was the main part ...u shd ve explained how Arima was born ! ...& then Armaan telling  Arima  ''  angel aapke liye ek bhai lane ki tayari kar raha hu ''   & Arima replying ''toh continue karo !''    u get my full thumbs up  man !!!  Arima is such a sweetheart  & understanding kid  !!!  & wat more  she was born within 8 mnths !!!   no signs of prematurity !!!!  The date chosen fr Apple & Baskets wedding was also very cleverly put in ...9th April ! clever thinking !
 
U shd continue writing OS ...& this was yr frst !! ...i just cant wait to read the OSs tht u r going to write after u becum a pro !!!...man oh man supaexcited !!!!

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_Vikram_sochona.Naruto.

sgksg Goldie

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Sayali_KSG IF-Rockerz
Sayali_KSG
Sayali_KSG

Joined: 10 October 2011
Posts: 9174

Posted: 08 September 2012 at 3:37am | IP Logged

nice os
lovely...AR's romance was awsome
keep writing...
Rogue... Goldie
Rogue...
Rogue...

Joined: 11 July 2012
Posts: 1625

Posted: 08 September 2012 at 5:51am | IP Logged
Originally posted by sgksg

Originally posted by Hail_Van_Helsin


Wow man wow !! I actually read the whole stuff !!...seemedi was viewing those 80s hindi commercial flicks ...all the masalas were present !!! & Sidssaying '' ab Riddhima ki body sirf mera hoga '' wah bhai wah ...what a line ! But mate u shd ve given a more dramatic entry to Armaan ...y use his hand to break the window when he was on a bike? He shd ve entered with his bike breaking the window & ride it over Sid ! ...& then say '' Yo basket yeh lo aa gaya tumhari Apple ...ab is kutte ki khair nahi '' !...( pls pardon my bad hindi ) & Riddhima saying '' mujhe pata tha tum aaoge meri Apple ''!
Suhagraat part ...simply mindblowing ...but y did u stop after they got under the sheets ...ouch tht was the main part ...u shd ve explained how Arima was born ! ...& then Armaan telling Arima '' angel aapke liye ek bhai lane ki tayari kar raha hu '' & Arima replying ''toh continue karo !''    u get my full thumbs up man !!! Arima is such a sweetheart & understanding kid !!! & wat more she was born within 8 mnths !!! no signs of prematurity !!!! The date chosen fr Apple & Baskets wedding was also very cleverly put in ...9th April ! clever thinking !
U shd continue writing OS ...& this was yr frst !!...i just cant wait to read the OSs tht u r going to write after u becum a pro !!!...man oh man supaexcited !!!!

hey thanxx for liking it ..but i m really confused on ur comment .u r really saying it was good or just mocking .
Waise let me tell u riddhima was 1 month pregnant so 9-1 =8 ..simple maths..man

anyways thanxx a ton for encouraging me
 
sorry fr the late reply mate !...wasnt online...anyways simple maths huh !  hell stupid me ...y didnt I utd such a simple calculation !!!  sorry sorry !
& I was absolutely nt mocking u !  ...did my comnts sound like tht ! ...dont be confused ! 
 
Only the Armaan entry part ...u cud ve added more spicy lines ...like punching , kicking Sid  those things were o.k  but  he cud ve mouthed more lines like ...'' Yeh lay  kameenay ...aa gaya main  Armaan  ...ab karunga tera dhulai banke  main   Salmaan ...dhinka chika dhinka chika dhinka chika re ''  !     again pardon me ...my hindi is awefull !  & Shanky falling at Armaans feet ...wow wat a scene ! ...by now u mst be assured Im not mocking u ...see how minutely I read each & every word !
& btw u shd PM  my gud frnd Moeen...he goes by the i.d krazykiller ...if u knw him then pls do PM him ...i m sure hes going to enjoy yr OS very much !  
Continue writing OS  ...I can guarantee u I will surely read them & comment ! 
 
& one last thing ...I am sure u r satisfied with  wat u wrote ...  then thts the most imp thing !!!
 

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sgksg Goldie

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