Originally posted by GirlOfFire
Arnav Singh Raizada
I am Arnav Singh Raizada. Twenty-eight years old. Businessman/Entrepreneur From Delhi. Happily married to Khushi Kumari Gupta Singh Raizada. Brother of Anjali Jha.
Every year, when Di ties a Rakhi on my wrist, I vow to protect her and her happiness. As a child, I took that oath, and I have kept it. Kept it in the face of all odds. I have tried my best to see that she is happy and safe.
She is one of the most important persons in my life. She is the mother I lost all those years ago. She is the one I looked up to. Oh, I know, she likes to make me do things that I don't want to do, like put on a tika and come for pujas, and for her sake, I have done all that. She brought Khushi back into my life. I never believed her 'saanse rukh jayengi' wala story. Funny, I now believe it. I've had to.
But now...I've the made decisions about our lives, since I was fourteen. I've had to, and sometimes, it hasn't been easy. I thought she was happy. I thought she was ready to move forward, without HIM. She was looking so beautiful at her Godh Bharai, she glowed. Then I saw her lying on that hospital gurney, so frail and pale. I couldn't face her, how could I? How could I be the one to tell her that she lost the baby? I couldn't help her, couldn't protect her. If only... what could I have done?
I had to bring her home. I couldn't leave her there knowing that Shyam could walk in anytime. At least at Shantivan, he cannot reach her. The security should be in place. But now she says she wants him back? Why, Di? Doesn't she know what he tried to do? That he tried to kill Khushi and me? How can I let him back here again? I have to protect her from herself now. I'm sorry, Di. He is the worst thing for you right now. Please try to understand. He is not what you need. I know what's best for you. I have taken care of you all these years. I wouldn't let him harm you, Di, you have to trust me. I can't tell you all the about the things he said and did. You don't need to know it, Di. Just trust your Chotey, Di.
Well, she did look better today, but I'm worried about these mood swings of hers. First she didn't want to eat and now she sits down at the dining table with all of us. I hope this is a sign of better days. Di deserves to be happy and smile and laugh. And forget about him.
I cannot let him into this house again. He is too dangerous for all of us.
Shyam. The very name disgusts me. He fooled me. He fooled us all. All he wanted was money... and Khushi. Dammit! He is the cause of Di's unhappiness. I should have seen what sort of a man he is. The many times he was away, the times he was late for all the pujas. His overly sweet caring husband act around Di. I should have told Di about him as soon as I knew about it. To tell me to my face, that Khushi was his obsession. I thought it would be over once Khushi and I got married. But even then, he didn't stop. He tried to put color on her at Holi! How dare he? Then he changed after I cut off his money. At least I thought he had changed. But I should have known better - a leopard doesn't changes its spots. I never thought he would stoop so low as to kidnap me, then try to kill me and Khushi! Just thinking about him taking Khushi's name ... I knew it was him, even then. Sitting in that dark room - who else knew that I had diabetes, and that the family thought I was still in Scotland? He was the only one with a grudge against me. But it was only for my money! He didn't want me to see his face. Of course! because I would recognize him! It had to be him. And Khushi confirmed it to me. It's only because of Di that I didn't have him thrown in jail. He deserves to rot in there! I thought he was gone from our lives. I thought he would stay away. Now he has the audacity to come to the hospital! How dare he? And put up that drama of a bereaved father. Really? Did he really think I was going to fall for it? All those years, he cheated us, the bas***d! Not anymore. Not me, Arnav Singh Raizada. I will not allow him to do that. Never again.
It felt so good to punch him. I could've killed him, if it hadn't been for Khushi...The hurt this man has given to us, to my family, I won't allow it, not again. The man is a con artist and I have to be careful with him around. If he tries one more thing, I will have to go to the police. I don't have a single piece of evidence against him. Not one piece. I trust Khushi and know she is telling the truth. But will the police, without some hard evidence?
And now he's sent in Dadi?! Huh. Dadi. She left us, fourteen years ago - she left me and my sister to fend for ourselves. If Nani hadn't picked us up, when Chacha-ji threw us out, where would we have been? And today, she's come back. Shyam seems to have done a good job on her. She is being conned, and she doesn't see it. Why would she? Her ego won't let her see the truth in front of her nose. She didn't even believe me when I told her Shyam tried to kill me. What is wrong with her? She trusts him over me, her grandson? I knew she didn't like Khushi, but now I know why. Shyam must have fed her some story. I hate the way Dadi treats Khushi. I don't know how long it will go on. But Dadi will have to accept it, dammit! Khushi is here in my life to stay, whether she accepts it or not. Because what's the point in explaining anything to Dadi? She will believe what she will believe and everyone else is wrong if they don't agree with her. She hasn't changed and she never will.
She keeps bringing up the past. I want to forget that past. I want to move forward with my family - my Di, my Khushi, Nani... But she won't let me. I wish she would leave it alone. At least I have Nani and Mami. She and her hello, hi, bye, bye. I don't like her calling Khushi Phati Sari - I wish she would stop. But Mami has been such a big support to me. If it hadn't been for her, I would not have built up this empire. She has been like a mother to Di and I. She even went looking for me with Khushi when I was kidnapped! She may be strange, but she has a heart of gold.
Nani. How different are my two grandmothers! Nani gave us so much love and affection when she took us in! Yeah, she can be a bit of a dragon sometimes, but I know she loves us. And I know she loves Khushi. I am so glad she understood about Shyam, she needed to be told. She understood why Khushi and I married in such a hurry. I knew she would accept Khushi as her grand-daughter-in-law, just as soon as we got done with this pheras and stuff. Then Khushi can come back to where she belongs.
Khushi. I can't help smiling at the thought of her. She does that to people. She smiles and they all smile back at her. She brings Khushi into everybody's life. She fell into my arms, and I couldn't stop looking at her, her eyes, her lips. I didn't want to let her go. I was so angry with her. It's like all my life, there has been this anger in me - it made me hollow inside. I didn't even realize it. But then she came into my life - so many times. It seemed like whenever I turned around, she was there. I wanted her to go away, but then I started looking for her. Di brought her into our house. I wanted her gone and yet the thought of her leaving was unbearable. I could hear her payals even in a noisy room, and I could feel her presence like a breath of air, even when I didn't see her. Every time I made her cry, I felt so guilty, like I had hurt an innocent child. I could hurt her. I can't bear to see her hurt.
When did I fall in love? I didn't even believe in love. I didn't believe in happily ever after. I didn't believe in marriage. Khushi made me believe - in love, in happily ever after, in marriage. The day I found out she was engaged, my world had come to a stop. I wanted her to admit what she felt for me, but she wouldn't. I tried to hurt her over and over, so that she would admit to it, and it hurt me more than it hurt her. I couldn't take it anymore. Then her engagement was broken. I was free of Lavanya too. I wanted her. I just didn't know it was love even then. On Akash and Payal's wedding day, I was going to tell her ... what? I didn't even get the chance - I saw her with Shyam. Just seeing her in his arms... I couldn't believe it! My world crashed. And then he told me how they were in love! How could I have believed that man over Khushi? I married her - to keep my sister and her baby safe from him ... and her!
I hated her then. Hated her for what she had reduced me to. Our 'marriage' was in name only. I told her that it would be only for six months. I refused to see the hurt in her eyes, I hurt her, but I was hurting much worse inside. She told me that I had been mistaken about what I'd seen. I didn't believe her. It's only when I was going to London that I realized I didn't want to do this anymore, but then I got kidnapped. There was so much time to think. I didn't want to die and not let her know how much I loved her. So I told her. She was crying.
I didn't know that she was searching for me, until she was captured. She put her life on the line to save mine. When I saw her fall over the cliff... I couldn't lose her. Not after all we'd been through. She had to live for me, for us. I don't know how long it was till I heard her 'hmmm?' but it was the best thing I ever heard.
Once we got back to Raizada mansion, all hell broke loose. I knew Shyam was behind the kidnapping and the attempt to kill me.. but this? Di was crying, Mami had accused Shyam of wanting a divorce. NK thankfully stood up to him. And Khushi. She stood in the middle, and I had to hear every vile word that came out of that disgusting man's mouth - accusing her of being a ... I could've ...lying out of his teeth! Even dragging Payal and Akash into it! But I couldn't leave Di's side. I had to stay by her. It wasn't until Khushi begged me to believe her, I knew I couldn't let this continue. I could have killed him then. But all I did was throw him out of Raizada mansion. I had no satisfaction doing that, but Di was collapsing!
Finally, Khushi and I could be together, the way we were meant to be. I love her. I believe in love. I love everything about her, her smile, her eyes. Her tears hurt me. I want to give her all the happiness in the world - I want to see her smile all the time. For her, I would do anything - even wear that stupid Kurta on Rakhi day.
Then this whole thing about rituals came up. I know she wants it. I took away her dream wedding, and I want to give it to her. We had the mehendi two days ago. She was so happy. She even put another 'A' on her palms - not Laad Governor like I wanted! But that's my Khushi. Innocent. Beautiful. Funny. Fiesty. Strong. Naive. My Khushi. I can talk to her. Laugh with her. Share her my deepest secrets, my fears with her. She is my other half. She makes me complete.
She even thought Shyam would've changed because of the baby's loss. I couldn't believe she could think that a man like him would change - after what he put us through! That is so her. Always thinking the best about everyone, even a scoundrel like Shyam.
I don't think I could do this without her. I look at the mehendi on my palm. We should have been getting married in a few days. But now...
Dadi has been fed lies about her by Shyam - I can see that in the way she treats her. But I have to focus on Di now. Her mood swings bother me. I know my Khushi will be there for her while I have to go to the doctor. But it was good to see her face first thing this morning!