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PR this week: Purvi deconstructed (Page 19)

NadaCinta IF-Rockerz
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Posted: 11 September 2012 at 10:56pm | IP Logged
The main criteria/tool in a marriage is trust, understanding and communication. When you don't have either one of it, then this is what happens in ArMan's life which has been clearly pictured to us. They have so much of love for each other but due to the miscommunication they lost 18 years of their life. This is when the third party (devils) dwells in your life. 

I strongly believe be it husband and wife or girlfriend and boyfriend, the problems they face should be solved by themselves only. They can ask for opinion if they wish to but not asking others to solve it for them. Even children for that matter should not interfere. 

For instance Purvi from day one has been interfering in her mother's divorce matter. So much so she thought by her becoming a tyaagi, only then her mother will get back her happiness. What is the need of your parents if you wish to make major decisions in your life without consulting them?

The truth here is Archana nor Manav did not communicate what actually went wrong 18 years back or now till today. It's always very convenient for us to blame others without identifying our own mistakes. Remember, when you point 1 finger to the other party the rest of the fingers are pointing back at you. Let's say for instance if something else crops up again in ArMan's life and they both decide to keep it within them, will it not lead to another separation again? This time what does Purvi have to give?

Don't always put our problems to the god and wait for miracle to happen when we are not doing anything to rectify it.

So, the basic groundwork here is trust, understanding and communication. Once you have these three in you, then you can have a blissful marriage. It will be so strong that no one can even shake it.






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Posted: 12 September 2012 at 12:12am | IP Logged
Thumbs Up Clap, Zeezee!! But Archana is not going to do this, she is too happy in her happiness to sacrifice for her daughter, Purvi. She could say to Ovi, give up Arjun if you want your dad's happiness and if you want me to return to him as wife and to you as mother, tit for tat , eye for an eye, I will teach you to bargain and barter human beings. Of course, this is not going to happen not for the reasons some may cite that she has gotten her happiness back after 18 years and deserves it or that her children are adults and she should steer clear of their affairs or that both girls did what they did of their own volition and so she is absolved from the situation. Yes, she is deserving of her happiness, no question about that but as a mother her first priority unfortunately should be her children's happiness and teaching them right from wrong. Stepping aside from the matter because they are adults will not cut it. If we can find excuses for Savita for meddling in her adult son's life because Savita wanted to save Manav (he was several years older than these 3) from his wife, we should expect Archana to meddle too, what is good for the goose is good for the gander. Archana instead comes into the house too happy and makes do with an ice breaker kind of convo, "oh, how can you smile with the pain you are hiding", the sanskari daughter responds "anything for you" and that paids put to the daughter's sacrifice.

Zeezee, I agree with you, whether 18 years or 50 years, Archana should tell Manav she cannot accept what Purvi has done or what Ovi has done and that until matters are set right, she cannot return to him as she was used by both girls. I would force Ovi to understand and give up on Arjun.

Zeezee, you are right, sisters marrying the same man is not uncommon. We have an Indian family down our street here where the man brought his wife's sister to take care of his kids and be an unofficial wife to him as his wife is an invalid. Marriage is a sacred institution for what it entails, trust, love, friendship, commitment. If these are not present, the essence of marriage is lost and to uphold a hollow institution sans those important elements only serves to make a mockery of it. Sans those elements, it is not a marriage but a convenience or contract, in this case a barter exchange and hence meaningless and void.

That said, if I were Arjun, I would get the marriage annulled and get out of Mumbai in a jiffy to escape the clutches of both the VI girls.

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koolsadhu1000 IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 12 September 2012 at 7:30am | IP Logged
I  beg to differ here .Smile

It is uncommon to marry a sister it is definetely not a common occurence . One can say it is not unheard of but it is definetely not common .


And if sisters marrying the same man is common and acceptable why was there such a hue and cry when Manav decided to marry his brother's wife ? In that case the brother had died tragically , Manav was not in love with his brother's wife and was clearly doing it to keep his brother's blood in the family . 

Just as sisters marrying the same man is not unheard of , brother marrying his dead brother's wife is also not unheard of . Infact they showed in Ek Chadar Mili si that the north Indians had such a ritual .

But then what is this show about ?  Love and how it should be the top priority over relations and responsibility or vice versa ? Coz this show is called 'Pavitra Rishta' and Manav  was once shown as a very responsible kind of man . He took the responsibility of his whole house on his shoulders .

If 'love' defines any amount of divorces , incest , public insults of elders etc sorry I am better of without it . It is clearly a very toxic drug in this show . Or does this show advocate that take responsibilities as much as you can , then when they become unbearable or stifling dump them and go running to your 'love' . Take a whiff of that drug . For they did show Archana running from the mandap and arriving in Shravni's wedding mandap after divorcing Manav and making her wait two whole years.

Is this culture ? Is this responsibility ? This show boasts about sanskaars ...a.re these sanskaars ?

Btw ...my personal belief . It is infinitely better to remarry when your spouse dies rather than  have a marraige with her sister in front of her sick , invalid eyes . It is a living death for the spouse .  If the husband becomes a cripple or an invalid and the wife remarries his brother in front of his house ' so that he can take care'of the house it is regarded as sacrilege .

I feel deep sympathy for the invalid wife . What she must be feeling she only knows . In marraige there is a vow ...the companionship will last ' for better or for worse .''

Well this is the 'worse' part . There is not always romance in a marraige . Sickness comes too . If the husband becomes an invalid the wife learns to manage the house and outside affirs like a man and takescare of her sick spouse too . Same goes for the man . He should learn the management of the house instead of making a new wife dangle in front of the invalid wife's weak sick eyes . 

In my eyes this is sexist and only an excuse for giving priority to one's 'needs' .






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KalapiDabulls23

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Posted: 12 September 2012 at 7:43am | IP Logged
Originally posted by zeezee55



So i apologise to everyone but i shall continue to live my life with my daughter Purvi.  Manav - maybe there is a hope for us to get together someday but not now - i cannot even bear to be with you right now.
 
That would be what i would do if i were Archana.
i think ovi is criminal bc she did deal with purvi who buy arjun so purvi also the person who accept deal and sold arjun happiness so the person who do crime and who help in crime both guilty same time.archana not only purvi/ovi's mother,she will choose between ovi/purvi to stay with ,there is teju also,she didnt do any deal why archana willnt think of teju,the girl already didnt get love of her mother these 18years for her parents mistake so why archana willnt think of it?archana only think of purvi not about others?teju herself didnt leave her mom at the age of 1year old,so why she isnt deserve archana?bc she is ovi's sis?LOL

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ForeverSHINee

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Posted: 12 September 2012 at 8:06am | IP Logged
Kool, wrote you a long post, IF swallowed it :( will be back in a bit.

Poas, not saying Archana should choose Ovi or Purvi over Tej, she should do the right thing as a mother. Tej didn't ask to be abandoned at one but both parents were at fault including the grandmother, of course, for what transpired. To set things right from 18 years ago, you cannot forget the immediate situation on hand. Also, by outing the truth, it has already been set right in a way. Enjoying conjugal bliss with Manav and being a mom to Ovi is not the only way to accept Tej as a daughter. Just my POV. And as my original post already stated, I understand other reasons may be cited but her duty as mother is to ensure her children's happiness (if it is within her power and/or if she is able to correct the situation) before accepting her own.

Also, not to forget Archana is the one who chose Sachin over her entire kaandhaan and maybe if she had not made that foolish decision, Purvi would never have been put in a situation to give up Arjun for her mother's sake as her Aai would have already been back with her baba giving Ovi no advantage in the barter game. Just a thought.

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Kalapi IF-Dazzler
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Posted: 12 September 2012 at 8:30am | IP Logged
Originally posted by koolsadhu1000

I  beg to differ here .Smile

It is uncommon to marry a sister it is definetely not a common occurence . One can say it is not unheard of but it is definetely not common .


And if sisters marrying the same man is common and acceptable why was there such a hue and cry when Manav decided to marry his brother's wife ? In that case the brother had died tragically , Manav was not in love with his brother's wife and was clearly doing it to keep his brother's blood in the family . 

Just as sisters marrying the same man is not unheard of , brother marrying his dead brother's wife is also not unheard of . Infact they showed in Ek Chadar Mili si that the north Indians had such a ritual .

But then what is this show about ?  Love and how it should be the top priority over relations and responsibility or vice versa ? Coz this show is called 'Pavitra Rishta' and Manav  was once shown as a very responsible kind of man . He took the responsibility of his whole house on his shoulders .

If 'love' defines any amount of divorces , incest , public insults of elders etc sorry I am better of without it . It is clearly a very toxic drug in this show . Or does this show advocate that take responsibilities as much as you can , then when they become unbearable or stifling dump them and go running to your 'love' . Take a whiff of that drug . For they did show Archana running from the mandap and arriving in Shravni's wedding mandap after divorcing Manav and making her wait two whole years.

Is this culture ? Is this responsibility ? This show boasts about sanskaars ...a.re these sanskaars ?

Btw ...my personal belief . It is infinitely better to remarry when your spouse dies rather than  have a marraige with her sister in front of her sick , invalid eyes . It is a living death for the spouse .  If the husband becomes a cripple or an invalid and the wife remarries his brother in front of his house ' so that he can take care'of the house it is regarded as sacrilege .

I feel deep sympathy for the invalid wife . What she must be feeling she only knows . In marraige there is a vow ...the companionship will last ' for better or for worse .''

Well this is the 'worse' part . There is not always romance in a marraige . Sickness comes too . If the husband becomes an invalid the wife learns to manage the house and outside affirs like a man and takescare of her sick spouse too . Same goes for the man . He should learn the management of the house instead of making a new wife dangle in front of the invalid wife's weak sick eyes . 

In my eyes this is sexist and only an excuse for giving priority to one's 'needs' .






 

Kool…..I totally agree with what you said about the invalid wife. I remember seeing a Tamil movie (I think) long time back that showed that that the hubby got the invalid wife's sister to help out. In time, the sister became the wife in all aspects. The invalid wife just watched while the hubby and sister just prayed for her to die….Is this love….I can only say, I am glad I don't have a sister….if I am invalid, I could rather my hubby dropped me off or killed me somehow, before he does what his able man this….

Let me share another true story that actually happed between 2 friends of mine in collage….The girl in this story comes from my school which was only for girls. So, I knew her from school. We came to do graduate studies (equivalent to the undergraduate studies in USA) in a premier Indian institution. This girl fell in 'love' with a boy who also came from a only boys school. They were going steady for about 2 + yrs, when the boy's parent came to know of the affair. The parents didn't like the girl for some reason. Since the boy was the only child of the parent, he told the girl one day that he can't leave them to marry her. So, the alternative was, let us carry on as we are doing. And when the time comes, I will put you up in a nice flat and provide for you, but will never marry you, I will have to marry the girl my parents choses, but my love will only be yours. I will do my 'duty' to both,-  to my wife as a duty to this girl for 'love"……man, I remember even to this day when this girl came crying to me and told all this. I am glad she could move on without her 'love'. To me, if loves equates only in a physical sense, then, I am better off without this love……  

Yes, I don't believe that love is so vital that anything can be allowed under its pretext. If anyone willingly married someone else, it comes with its set of obligations that needs to be fulfilled. If a wife get invalid for some reason, the husband can't take undue advantage to the situation….yes, lot of things happens in reality, but if we say being in love gives us the passport to living a immortal life….I will, willingly live a loveless life….and to conclude, I must also say, not always ethics and mortality cannot be defined on set of SOP, rather it is a personal choice…and I am amply stated my personal preference here….

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koolsadhu1000Dabulls23

vgiri Senior Member
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Posted: 12 September 2012 at 8:37am | IP Logged
Originally posted by koolsadhu1000

The only problem with this being that nobody 'forced' anyone to do anything . All 3 were adults and took decisions consciously they were not thumb sucking children to be
 coerced . Archana should not slap anyone and stay the hell our of this mess as either support and decision will be very painful .

Kool.. may be I do not fully get your sarcasm here.. but..
Ovi overheard Purvi's conversation with her Manav Baba and made a deal with Purvi..literally blackmailed her, which is worse than Forcing..
Here our Ms. Mahaantha Jr. 'Forced' Arjun to marry Ovi in the name of 'Heights of Love'
 
Archana's slap.. that is Karankakar's way of saying "u have done an amazing job but Iam better than you"

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Kalapi IF-Dazzler
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Posted: 12 September 2012 at 8:44am | IP Logged
Originally posted by vgiri

Originally posted by koolsadhu1000

The only problem with this being that nobody 'forced' anyone to do anything . All 3 were adults and took decisions consciously they were not thumb sucking children to be
 coerced . Archana should not slap anyone and stay the hell our of this mess as either support and decision will be very painful .

Kool.. may be I do not fully get your sarcasm here.. but..
Ovi overheard Purvi's conversation with her Manav Baba and made a deal with Purvi..literally blackmailed her, which is worse than Forcing..
Here our Ms. Mahaantha Jr. 'Forced' Arjun to marry Ovi in the name of 'Heights of Love'
 
Archana's slap.. that is Karankakar's way of saying "u have done an amazing job but Iam better than you"
 
Vgiri...what was the blackmailng 'force' here?? What could have happened if neither agreed with the deal.
 
Say, if Purvi didn't accept the deal that Ovi made (as Archana didn't) what could have Ovi done...nothing as I see it...she could probably have been in the hospital fighting for her life...Ovi didn't put a gun to kill anyone as far as I remember...
 
Secondly, if Arjun didn't accept the deal...what could Pruvi do??? Agian nothing, I think...so how are these adults forced, there weren't a gun nor a candy (if these 2 were behaving as kids) for them to decide. To me, these adult took their decision on their own and with their sense on...yes, under less than relaxing circumstances...but is that uncommon...so, if we take decision in less than relaxing and happy circumstances, are we allowed to change those decisions later because the circumstances were noy happy or relaxing or not really in our favor or the decisions we took were not in our favor that we realized later???? Isn't that convient...my POV


Edited by Kalapi - 12 September 2012 at 9:00am

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