Posted: 05 September 2012 at 7:35pm | IP Logged
You are flawed; you are stuck in old patterns; you get carried away with yourself...Indeed you are quite impossible in many ways. And still you are beautiful beyond measure.
Yash is not doubting Aarti's character...period. The reason for his anger is simple yet complicated...complicated because he made it so, his insecurities made it so, his lack of inner confidence and self-acceptance made it so. This is a period of transition for Yash...and as such his self-worth is at it's lowest...He is relying too much on the sunlight to find its way in and light his inner core on its own...and this reliance is defeating him...making him create clouds between him and the Sunlight. These clouds...of his insecure persona of the moment along with all the defensive patterns: the fear, the distrust, the reactive prowess, the aggression, and the distorted perception...this partly cloudy sky is filtering his feelings for Aarti. Yash cannot let his love freely flow...because the wounds that he carries have not surfaced fully to be healed, and till they are healed he will continue to feel inadequate and not let the warmth seep through him...
Yash continuously moves back and forth between clear skies and dark clouds...between clarity of his relationship with Aarti and his interpretation of her needs. Because he is so different from Aarti in personality, he is overtly sensitive of his dark nature falling short of her sunny one...because he feels himself handicapped because of his obsessiveness for Arpita, he feels he has no right to hinder her happiness, which is why he so readily let go during the divorce fiasco. This is exactly what is happening now...he is letting go...and making a complete mess of it. Why? Because this time, his feelings have taken a turn. But why is Yash letting go? Why does he think that Aarti wants...rather needs...out? One word...Aman. Yash's insecurities came to the fore with the advent of this long, lost friend from her past...one who can make her laugh...one who seems so attuned to her. Unfortunately, this intrusion coincided with his letting go of Arpita. So, just when he was coming to terms with his past...he sees her past present itself. Look at the turn of events...
In Mumbai, Yash had started to feel the warmth of Aarti's closeness and bask in the glow she emanated...in the words of love she uttered in that unguarded moment...and had started on the path of self-acceptance, when the chain of events happened. Yash was fine with Aarti when the frame broke...because it was a genuine mistake and she was profusely apologetic...and he was more impatient with her carelessness that caused her to bleed while picking the glass pieces. Again, when the fire happened, he was fine with a much bigger loss than a broken frame...till she blurted out the truth. He got upset...yes...but he was fine because she was again apologetic and had accepted her mistake. Then, on the backdrop of all the easy camaraderie between his wife and her friend, the night in question happened...and this time Aarti neither let him in the matter nor did she admit to remembering it...and that was Aarti's biggest blunder. What she didn't find important enough and let pass as the events of the morning took over, Yash found it gravely amiss that she should keep such a big matter to herself and not disclose it...that is why the distrust...As far as he is concerned, she had gone to the mandir on her own...and then he finds she was with Aman...and she didn't even bother to let him know later about what happened. Not only that...she just refused to remember what it was that could have made him angry.
Yash was totally defeated here...and standing at cross-roads from where he himself had permanently barricaded Arpita on one hand, and on the other, the one toward whom his heart reciprocated didn't seem forthcoming. Arpita no more gave him peace...and one who would seemingly is happier with and seeks the company of another..."...and why won't she be? After all I told her I was not interested in a relationship!!!" Yet he expected her to come clear...his feelings for her now had started to make him expect from her. These conflicting, transitional feelings became difficult for Yash to deal with. ...Loneliness engulfed him once again. The claustrophobic feelings spiraled out of control and the anger burst out, and in anger-hazy logic he assumed Aarti is better of with someone like Aman...so he kept pushing her away...or kept running away from her. This is the reason he keeps saying that nobody can help him...and that he has to live with this hell. He himself blocked her approach to him, so he feels he has no right to stop her from doing anything...Yet the fact that she seemingly blocked him out hurt him so bad!!!
Aarti is definitely misconstruing the importance of the night's events. And she is doing nothing out of character...It was a night out spent mostly on the roads with just a small break in Aman's apartment, where she changed...and the importance of Ansh's injury took precedence over the night, so she passed it by. What she cannot fathom is that it is not the whole reason for Yash's disappointment. Well...she'll know soon enough. In the meantime she just gave enough fodder for bua to completely malign her character and for her to give in to another bout of histrionics...this time, Agni Pariksha!!! She still has the fire in her to stand up for herself...in whatever manner she can. That is so our Aarti...isn't she? The never-give-up fighter...!!!
That's it folks. I have rambled...and gone totally berserk with my thoughts today...my apologies!!!
Have a nice day.
Edited by InduG64 - 05 September 2012 at 7:57pm