Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon


Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon
Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon

Love, Sacrifice and The Raizadas

LadyLaLa IF-Rockerz

Joined: 16 August 2011
Posts: 5578

Posted: 04 September 2012 at 2:25pm | IP Logged
"Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds, or bends with the remover to remove. O no, it is an  ever-fixed mark that looks on tempests and is never shaken. "
         - William Shakespeare

The above prose made me think, do the Raizadas understand Love and Sacrifice? When we hear the word sacrifice, we often think of completely selfless acts where someone does something for another entirely for the other person's benefit. Sacrifice isn't purely altruistic. The best definition of sacrifice is "To forfeit something for something else considered to have a greater value."  Sacrifice does not mean giving up something for nothing, it means giving up one thing for something else we believe is worth more. When we talk of Sacrifice in the context of this serial, the first name that pops to our minds is Khushi. Time and again, she has put her happiness in the back burner just to see others smile. She has considered the happiness of others to be worth more than her own. Once more, we will be seeing her put her happiness aside to make her Di and LG happy.

Have we seen ASR sacrifice? Sure we have, we have seen him giving a pocket full of change to a little girl to buy Doves. We have seen him helping Khushi with her hospital bills. However, his best sacrifice to date has been the sacrifice he made for his sister. He sacrificed Khushi, he made Khushi his sacrificial lamb. You may say he sacrificed his love, did he truly? Tomorrow, when the need arises, would ASR sacrifice his happiness for the sake of Khushi's happiness? Would he sacrifice his sister's happiness to gain Khuhsi's happiness?

The law of sacrifice says that one cannot get something one wants, without giving up something in return. In order to attain something of greater value, one  must give up something one believes is of lesser value.  According to this rule, Khushi seems to be the person to be of lesser value in our story. Because, time and again it is Khushi who has been easily expended to gain the happiness of all. The residents of of RM have denied the law of sacrifice at every turn. They always have looked to fulfill their desires without having to forsake anything at all.

Anjali refused to sacrifice her happiness, her marriage, no sir, not even for her unborn baby. We saw her parents do the same. To them, their happiness and their marriage came before the happiness of their daughter's marriage or their children's lives. The denial of the law of sacrifice keeps a person from progressing in life. To reach one's goals, one must move forward, which necessitates leaving some things behind. But the person who believes they can get whatever they desire without sacrifice tries to hold onto everything in an attempt to have it all. Instead of moving forward, they are stretched out horizontally and are often found sitting on the fence. Which is what we see happening in the case of the Raizadas.

Their failure to understand the law of sacrifice has led them to a life of restlessness and regret. When you believe you can have whatever you want, without giving up anything in return, you can never fully embrace and enjoy your choices. A great example of this would be ASR's action of forcibly marrying Khushi. Great unhappiness arises when we fail to acknowledge the necessity of sacrifice and subconsciously hold the idea in our heads that we can have both things at the same time.

One must embrace the fact that there are trade-offs in life and that you can't have one thing without giving up another. Sadly,the Raizada view on sacrifice has always been "As part of loving people, we have to give some things up and sometimes we have even given them up"

Edited by LadyLaLa - 04 September 2012 at 2:38pm

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-DKS- IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 23 May 2012
Posts: 15782

Posted: 04 September 2012 at 2:27pm | IP Logged
A very good post...Clap

The show has it the rock bottom and I am not even viewing episodes, so it takes me some time to digest serious posts...lets leave that aside

Sacrifice is the basis of any relation, be it mother-child, brother-sister or Husband-wife. It denotes the extent of ones love towards another. The love of Khushi towards her loved ones is filled with sacrifices and compromises, she sacrificed her dignity and self respect for her sister who wasn't even related by blood, she sacrificed her self respect for Anjali by hiding about Shyam, she sacrificed the love of her loved ones when she got married forcibly...these are only a few instances.

While on the other hand we have selfish lovers in the Raizada family. Arnav who marries khushi forcibly so as to protest her Di, he forces Khushi to stay with him by showing the contract, he brings back Khushi in his life by blacmailng her and so on and so forth. Anjali the lesser I talk the better.

So Khushi is ready to give her all but ASR and Anjali cling on and are not ready for any sacrifice. Both cannot think of others happiness and it is always me, my and myself attitude for them. 

Only the one with big hearts can forgive and sacrifice, it is Khushi which wins the race hands down.

Edited by Didikisaut - 04 September 2012 at 4:18pm

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asha... IF-Rockerz

Joined: 05 August 2011
Posts: 6196

Posted: 04 September 2012 at 2:29pm | IP Logged


La Hug

I'll come back when my grey cells are functioning... !!!

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sbk2 IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 17 August 2011
Posts: 10400

Posted: 04 September 2012 at 2:34pm | IP Logged
La Hug

What a thought provoking post! I loved how unique your post is...brilliantly written Clap

Will not/cannot add anything to it, for you have said it all.

I am utterly disappointed with the turn of events in this serial now...

There was a time when I would sit and write long posts analysing and recapitulating the day's episode.
Now I just don't feel like it...I was waiting for their remarriage to be shown, and thinking of taking a break from the forum...but the writers decided to ruin the very track we all have been waiting for since ages! 
After that horrible Friday episode, I am so upset with this serial!

Edited by sbk2 - 04 September 2012 at 3:25pm

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Jayne IF-Dazzler

Joined: 23 February 2012
Posts: 3668

Posted: 04 September 2012 at 2:42pm | IP Logged
Very nicely put, La.

I do think you have hit on the crux of the story.
In fact, the core of all Indian Soaps.
If it isn't a tear-jerker with enough 'Indian' sacrifice - read, woman giving up her life, symbolically as well as literally - it isn't Soap.

Now how to make that sacrifice stand out amongst so many other sacrifices of putting up with *sshole husbands, fathers, brothers, mothers, sisters, family members, MILs, FILs, DILs, SILs, BILs, bosses, friends, etc.?

Why, lets do a bait and switch!
Star-crossed love!
Arnav and Khushi.

Wait. Wha...

Arnav and Anjuli?

Ms.Gul Khan has herself informed us - via interviews - that Anjuli is very damaged.
We get that.
In fact, we got that within one month of IPK airing. All that touchy-feely with Arnav was frankly nauseous; but we tied a red bow on it and called it 'Aww..., Anjuli is so sweet."

But isn't sacrifice the name of the game?
And what could produce more angst, pain, and heartbreak for every viewer than having the apple of their eye - ASR - be in the throes of agony over sacrificing his love and his very own life?

What's new, you ask?
Why, that the sacrificial lamb is ASR! A man! Not the usual woman.

What about Khushi, you say?
She was never a lead, so she does not matter. She was the comic relief and the punching bag, and like the dumb blonde in every cheap horror flick, she got axed.
No sweat.

When a show presents a the premise of a problem - a damaged Anjuli - the general outlook for that show would be the treatment and 'normal' mode establishment for the damaged person.
Clearly, the idea of treatment has never occurred to the CVs or the PH.
Because they do not see Anjuli as having a problem.

Ms. Gul Khan might state that Anjuli is damaged, but to her and the CVs mind, that's just the way she is; and by throwing in a few (sickeningly) sweet smiles and moves, we have to take her just as she is.

We might be persuaded to feel sorry for Anjuli but for the fact that she is the kind of insidious 'destroyer' of whom we each have at least one in all our families.
The one who is good, kind, generous, and sweet.
Yet, also clingy, needy, incapable of living independently (without support or family), and greatly self-centered.
This person is not selfish. They will share all they have and willingly.
Its just that the entire world (and their family) must revolve only around them.
They never see it as thus, though. And neither do the family members.

To the family and friends:
Such people are just 'having a rough time'... 'going through a hard patch'... 'suffered a lot in the past'... 'beginning to work towards a normal life'... 'needing support from those around because they are suffering'... 'facing trying times'...etc.

Nobody ever cottons to the fact that these scenarios are perpetual with no end date in sight.
As is the case with Anjuli.

Such people will find 'tragedy' anywhere in their life. If her parents had not committed suicide, Anjuli would have found something else that made her 'suffer' and be damaged.
It is a personality trait, the way one can be a go-getter or easy-going.

Such parasitic people live with us everyday, even in our homes.
And we love them.
Because it is hard to hate someone who is good and kind and generous, etc.
But it is easy to resent them. Eventually.
And they invite this themselves by sheer dint of their parasitic personality.

Will Arnav ever resent Anjuli?
Because by making his character the younger brother and exposed to the same tragedy, the CVs have bound him tight to the bosom of a sister he cannot ever leave, unless she lets him go.
Which she never will.
She is sweet and good and generous, but she does not recognize her clinging and needy nature for what it is.
Arnav does, but gives it all the 'explanations' - read, excuses after 15 years and a marriage! - outlined above.
When a problem does not exist for someone, how do they solve it?

Aha! But this is a problem for mature, rational people.
For Soap land, Arnav letting Khushi go - his love, his life - will be the crowning moment.

Sacrifice is the name of the game, after all.


Edited by Jayne - 04 September 2012 at 3:25pm

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AmazingAmy IF-Dazzler

Joined: 10 March 2012
Posts: 3496

Posted: 04 September 2012 at 2:47pm | IP Logged
Amazing and insightful post LadyLa!

Arnav's love for Anjali is unconditional.
Khushi's love for Arnav is unconditional.
Anjali's love for Shyam is unconditional.  

I want someone to give that unconditional love to Khushi, that she gives to everyone else. They have all failed her at some point...not just Arnav but her own family who said she's not their blood, after she has done more for them than their so-called biological daughter. It's sad.

As for the Raizadas, no question that they cannot see past each other's pain. It upset me that it was so easy for Arnav to see his sister's pain and cry for her...even though none of it was his fault. Khushi's pain was his fault...yet he didn't show that much remorse for her when he discovered her innocence. This after the year long of pain and accusations he hurled at her. Its a shame he can't see her pain. He didn't treat her pain with the same sensitivity, rather he forced her back into his house in his usual arrogant way.

Edited by AyeReKhushi - 04 September 2012 at 2:53pm

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CDlove IF-Rockerz

Joined: 25 July 2011
Posts: 8884

Posted: 04 September 2012 at 2:57pm | IP Logged

La, wonderful post darling. Aren't queries of love have been the greatest of mystries that had puzzeled the man kind from the beggining of time? How does one define love? Can it even be defined? We see many varies facets of love everyday. Can we ever give a singular definition, pinpoint to these facets and call it love? It's too complicated an entity in my opinion.

I sometimes think everything that drives us towards somewhere in life beggins and ends with love. We do so many things driven out of love, which we never would want to do in the first place. We earn, we study, we marry and so on and most of these decissions are driven by what our loved ones expect from us.
Arnav made a life of his own, fought silent battles with himself and achieved a great deal soley to give a good life to his Di. He sacrificed his happiness, his childhood and his spirit. He did this again when he sacrificed Khushi as he married her on that fateful day. All in the name of love
Khushi has sacrified almost everything for people around her without asking so much as a morsel in return. All in the name of love
Yet she is the one least loved, cherished and understood. Her parents, her sibling, her in-laws, her husband- all have and is still taking her for granted. But does she really mind? No I believe not becuase at the end of the day she's living for these people and would be happy to see them happy, even though it might be at the expense of her own happiness.
I can connect with both these characters (well at least I used to). They have both crossed limits of propriety for the sake of love. It's after all a love story albiet messed up as it still is called 'what name should be given to this love'.
I really do not want to comment on Anjali becuase I believe her character was not thought out well in the recent times and hence doesn't resemble realistic boundaries. Atleast it doesn't to me and her actions goes over my head. I tend to think she's seriously psychologically imbalanced and damaged, just like Shyam.
So at the end of the day I believe it depends on individual perspectives. People love in different ways. Some rightly, some wrongly, some for valid reasons, some for stupid reason, some according to social definitions, some defying the conventions, some according to the books, some out of the box.
My peeve is that they are loosing the essence of the show. Anjlai-Arnav story of their past was suppose to revolve around Arnav And Khushi's dynamics and their own love story. It should have brought out hidden layers of their characters and thier relationship.
 But what I see is bad story telling because the love story is put in the back burner while unncessary emphasis on Anjali-shyam, Anjlai and her psychotic behaviour, Anjali and Arnav's strange sibling relationship and so on are given priority.
What happened to the love story?

Edited by CDlove - 04 September 2012 at 3:54pm

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Jayne IF-Dazzler

Joined: 23 February 2012
Posts: 3668

Posted: 04 September 2012 at 3:22pm | IP Logged
Updtd. Pg 1


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