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Gauri's pregnancy results... (Page 2)

akvats01 Senior Member
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Posted: 04 September 2012 at 10:54am | IP Logged
Your POV is very important and critical.
 
I will share a real time incident here.
 
In a meditation class, I met a russian lady, who was 30+.
 
She shared , " I was an unwanted child as I was born as a result of adultry between my parents. my parents used to hate me as They never wanted a baby but I was born. I was forced to them.  when I used to see other children getting pampered by their parents, I used to feel very inferior. I have grown up with a feeling that I have pushed my parents at shame due to my existence."
 
She said that she wanted to kill herself many times. Also That she used to feel very unhappy because she used to love her parents, but it was due to her birth that her parents were ashamed.
 
I can not express that feeling of pain , which she communicated in that class. We were hats off to her, At one side we can not imagine ourselves without our parents support, she had survived with such a parents who raised question on her very existence.
 
If gauri is going to be a mother, who is not ready to accept the kid just because she hate it  is of Jagya's . Is this justified to give birth to a child and make the child feel as if s/he has done any mistake by taken a birth to her.?

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vamita Goldie
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Posted: 04 September 2012 at 11:05am | IP Logged
Originally posted by akvats01

Your POV is very important and critical.
 
I will share a real time incident here.
 
In a meditation class, I met a russian lady, who was 30+.
 
She shared , " I was an unwanted child as I was born as a result of adultry between my parents. my parents used to hate me as They never wanted a baby but I was born. I was forced to them.  when I used to see other children getting pampered by their parents, I used to feel very inferior. I have grown up with a feeling that I have pushed my parents at shame due to my existence."
 
She said that she wanted to kill herself many times. Also That she used to feel very unhappy because she used to love her parents, but it was due to her birth that her parents were ashamed.
 
I can not express that feeling of pain , which she communicated in that class. We were hats off to her, At one side we can not imagine ourselves without our parents support, she had survived with such a parents who raised question on her very existence.
 
If gauri is going to be a mother, who is not ready to accept the kid just because she hate it  is of Jagya's . Is this justified to give birth to a child and make the child feel as if s/he has done any mistake by taken a birth to her.?
 
I am convinced that a child who is born out of wed lock or love, is an unlucky child, but here, Gauri and Jagya themself are doctors and claimed that they love eachother...They need to realize that it was their own mistakes which led them to this point...! And further after first Gauri's miscarriage, she should have been more careful...Being a doctor, I am sure these both knew how...! One time we can understand, but again she did the same thing...She should have atleast waited for getting married, when she knew that her marriage had no legal stand...Now, that she has already concieved, she is thinking about aborting...Doesn't she realize that this all is the result of her own foolishness and mistake...Why lie, if you really love a person...? No, but she did...! But like Jagya, she doesn't have any sense of responsiblity...! That is the reason I am just angry on this issue...! If she thought that she is Jagya's responsibilty and he should take care of her during pregnancy, rather than go to Jaitsar for seeing his dying aunt, then she should also know her responsibility...! She should understand her mistakes...! 

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tanvismile IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 04 September 2012 at 11:11am | IP Logged
At this stage there is no harm to abort the baby if she doesnt want it,becoz the baby is not even grown,its just a life which has no consiosness,at this stage i dnt feel there is anything wrong in it but i strongly feel she wil give birth to the baby and take care of it,curently she is just very disturbed by situations in her life.

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shamarsunitasharmaelasingh

aparnauma IF-Stunnerz
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Posted: 04 September 2012 at 11:20am | IP Logged
Originally posted by vamita

Now that we know that Gauri is pregnant, but doesn't wants anything to do with the kid, what do you all feel she will do...? Abort the kid? Or will she give birth...?
 Ethically, she should Let go her ego as a mother to her unborn child, go and ask for forgiveness from Jagya and his family...? But will she do it? Will her ego let her do it...?
You can see, that she is still not blaming anyone and just wants nothing to do with Jagya...So, wants nothing to do with his kid...
What do you all think one should do, in such a condition...? I know many of you care less, but still this is the reality of life...There are many people who don't give a damn to others feelings in this world, but still at this stage, where they have to make touch decisions...At this stage Gauri should think about her unborn child...It is not just Jagat's child, but hers too, and she has the life of a little unborn baby in her hands...Morally, though their relationship is almost over, a mother can never kill or even think about killing the baby herself...But Gauri seems to be in an insane world, where nothing matters now...! She wants nothing to do with the baby...So, what do you think her next step would be...?
It is her initial reaction.She was just coming around the moment she opened her eyes she was told of the news about her pregnancy.And just before her blackout her thoughts were revolving around her relationship with J about how it started and how it all ended and her mind is still thinking about that's why her reaction has been negative.
You are right she is not blaming anyone at present and she also doesn't want anything to do with J.At present she thinks of the baby as the product of a relationship that has gone bad not as an individual.The baby has not yet become real to her. 
Her world has come down crashing around her In this situation she is bound to feel that way right now.Once she starts thinking about the unborn baby she may change her mind.For whatever reasons she may decide to keep the baby too.Who knows the baby may change her for better.

Even the first time around she hasn't embraced the idea of having baby immediately she took time to accept it but she was genuinely looking forward however careless she might have been.
May be with time she may accept the baby and her mother may convince her to keep the baby.

It is too early to make predictions about what she would do.

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tanvismile IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 04 September 2012 at 11:20am | IP Logged
I would like to add one more thing ,i agree that a child is result of wedlock and they are doctors too So ya they could have been responsible,but did they knew that they wud get seperated ?they were planning to get married right ,soon after that they wud settle up legal issues ,whats the problem with having baby,the birth is going take place after 9 months ,so whats was the problem ,nothing,finaly its a show cvs give attention to twists and turns and not such issues.

Edited by tanvismile - 04 September 2012 at 11:23am

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mahi12 IF-Dazzler
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Posted: 04 September 2012 at 11:37am | IP Logged
i agree with A2ZV in one point even i don't want Jagaya and Gauri to reconcile only because of child ..because if we see their relation is broken with very less chances of repairment Confusedas J went to say to G he will never forget what she did with him and this is his last promise to her ...so i don't think he is going to trust her or love her anymore ..and G she is not on the verge of understanding one thing what wrong she did with J instead she is  sitting in victim mode that its he who did wrong with her thats why want no relation with him  even she is ready to kill her child because of it ...so for the sake of child even if  they compromised they will definitely be living in a very forceful relation and effect will land on poor kid ...as parents living in forceful relation their daily fights ( j and g already use to have  lots of fights before ) or even if they didn't fight and live in a very silent relation very less talking to each other will  have very bad effect on child Ouchchildren have a very disturbed upbringing in such cases ...well i know J is not so cruel if he came to know G is pregnant with his child he will definitely take up the child's responsibility but i think G won't tell him .neither will let her parents tell ..ConfusedJ is more like making efforts to be accepted by his family and G is angry with him he chose his family over her and she lost her challenge ...Deadso child being brought up with such parents who have so many differences with each other will definitely end being a psycho Ermmso  it will be more good if he is raised by any one of them alone ...better will be J ..as if he is accepted back by singhs some time later which i know he will after winning trust back ...singhs will give the child good upbringing..for G its close to impossible to make up with singhs she holds enmity with them since childhood ..life has given her many chances to think they are no bad as she thinks but heck no she doesn't care each time she proved herself worst in front of them and if she raised the kid then she will indeed make him a psycho like her hating singhs Confusedand also G is very career centered woman who cares less about relations more about her career so how much time she will give to child ..send him to boarding school ..again not good upbringing to child so in my opinion it will better if child lands with J somehow 


Edited by mahi12 - 04 September 2012 at 12:15pm

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vamitatiny15

surabhi01 IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 04 September 2012 at 12:08pm | IP Logged
is  gauri aur jagya ki galtiyon ki saza unborn child kyon bhugte . gauri ko child raise karne mein koi problem nahi pur jagya se irritated hai to child ko bhi abort kar dena chahti hai .what a weird logic by gauri
shamar Newbie
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Joined: 28 August 2012
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Posted: 04 September 2012 at 12:09pm | IP Logged
 Well i think ideally the family should forgive both jagiya and gauri , especially on coming to know of her pregnancy - am sure if anandi gets to know, she will push them towards it.


However i'm far more disturbed about this idea that its wrong to abort a child if you are not ready for any reason. There is a reason for which abortion rights were bestowed on women. Here a man who declared his love for her , broke his other commitments  simply on getting to know about a lie about her education decided to abandon her and go back ! As if he had never lied to her right from the beggining about his being single - a far bigger lie, yet she accepted him out of love . But after 8 years of marriage , the spoilt kunwar one fine day decided to live this life he chose and happily go back to his past - mind you a thirty year old man , not a 20 something who had just consummated a bal vivaah. I would like to see which other man would behave like this at such a stage instead of talking, negotiating, discussing first ...

She was always deeply insecure and this ofcourse has driven her inner insecurities further. If not being sure whether jagiya would ever be back, she thinks of aborting because she does not want to bring up this child on her own without a father - she has commited no crime. Birt control and abortion are there to ensure children are given birth to only when they are wanted, when the parents have the resources and desire to do so. Abortion of accidental pregnancies under such circumstances is hardly a crime - its much worse to bring a child for whom you are not ready and whose future you cannot ascertain !! I would say even if this breakup with jagiya had not happened, if she and jagiya felt the time was not right, they had a right to abort the child.

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