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A OneShot a Day: A SwaRon Collection (Page 51)

ShrutikaSwaRon IF-Rockerz
ShrutikaSwaRon
ShrutikaSwaRon

Joined: 07 July 2012
Posts: 5120

Posted: 18 October 2012 at 8:38pm | IP Logged
What an update...it really left me speechless...bought all the old memories back...culd very well visualize sharon...u r such an awesome writer...hatts off...plz continue soon.

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Sawyer_Tom

gunnu1 Goldie
gunnu1
gunnu1

Joined: 01 June 2012
Posts: 1113

Posted: 19 October 2012 at 7:14am | IP Logged
loved it...!! 
The pain she's going thru...
Thw way Swayam's diary is written...
u're choice of words is great...!! loveeed it totally...!! 

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Sawyer_Tom

thegameison IF-Sizzlerz
thegameison
thegameison

Jedi of CC
Joined: 01 July 2010
Posts: 22725

Posted: 19 October 2012 at 10:09am | IP Logged
For One Shot#4

You know what I call this? I call this erotic! I had this En-is-impossible grin on my face throughout the reading experience which was, to start with, technically polished and sensationally written. I had always thought that Sharon will have the boldness once she united with Swayum in the earlier days of my watching the show. But alas, she instead found blushing furiously a better idea. Anyway, her choice. Stern Smile

I am not sure exactly how to comment on this one, not sure whether or write anything further in your praise. The entire thing raises many, many questions in my mind about this lady I am friends with. Geek While the others can wait I must ask you, just HOW did you come up with that paragraph in which Swayum so brutally teases his lady love? Sure only a character like Swayum can resist plunging into action, quite true to this character here. It was an upheaval of seduction on like so many different levels. How did you pull it off?  Geek

A confused
Kanks





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Sawyer_Tommarauder

thegameison IF-Sizzlerz
thegameison
thegameison

Jedi of CC
Joined: 01 July 2010
Posts: 22725

Posted: 19 October 2012 at 10:39am | IP Logged
For One Shot#5

I'm moved. 

Forgive me but my comments on almost all your one shots so far have been terribly bland. My proper fashion of commenting does not come to life when I do not feel what I had been reading. My two cents will however always be nearly as good as the prose itself if I did feel it. You have written this one shot with the elegance and supremacy that I have always identified your works with. En, this is a masterpiece and I am not even kidding anymore. Most of all before I even begin with the actual comment, thanks for writing it. Embarrassed 

The beginning is very sharp. It is intelligently written as though both the author and character have been having an equalized magnitude of bad luck in their day lately. It bears stark resembles to any setup in which Swayum and Sharon from LTD were pissed.  Ingenious! A creep old lady stalks Swayum into the bus. LOL Might I add expressions like 'the bus arrived just then, squirting a cloud of polluted smoke in its wake'  explain all the sharpness I am talking about. I love a prose with details.  

The main narrative is really very engaging! It's miraculous how I almost believe that the horrendous thoughts and a surge of intimidation that regulated through Swayum were indeed because of how the girl looked. LOL It was good of you to first mention his motion sickness and then the awe he displays for the girl sitting next to him. A regular writer can't usually wait to jump up to the point they make the hero ogle at the heroine.  Sharon's appearance was so well described by the way. It was flawless with the simplicity of it all. Well done already. 

I pronounce myself outta an adjective to give here to tell you just how much I cherish the conversation between Swayum and Sharon that you've penned down. It is literary excellence along with a generous amount of moving emotion. I had an inkling that Sharon was blind since she was wearing goggles on a winter day. But that did not at all affect the pit that formed inside my stomach when she told Swayum about it. 

I can give you more but you'll get bored. I dun kid. So I come to you with a business transaction now that occured to me. Toodles!


Kanks Hug


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Sawyer_Tom

ProngsPadsMoony IF-Sizzlerz
ProngsPadsMoony
ProngsPadsMoony

Joined: 11 August 2012
Posts: 16326

Posted: 20 October 2012 at 12:27am | IP Logged
awesome part 2

Edited by additive_monaya - 20 October 2012 at 12:27am

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Sawyer_Tom

gargicool Groupbie
gargicool
gargicool

Joined: 10 October 2011
Posts: 163

Posted: 21 October 2012 at 4:33am | IP Logged
OK, first of all, I am SO SO SO very Sorry for commenting THIS late! i mean, my schedules have been so erratic, I cant muster up the time at all. Ermm
This is a brilliant piece of writing Nidhi, yet no surprises there, coming from you. I would like to tell you though, the parts where you showed Sharon speaking to her yet-to-be-born baby, those parts really touched me, they show the inner character of our Sharon. And in the middle of the update, where Swayam states that 'You were never mine, yet I feel like I've lost you' or something like that, its SO true and leaves SUCH a great impact on the reader. 
Well, its good to read something written by you after such a long  time. But please don't make us wait for so long for the next update. *sigh*
P.S- Loved the update nevertheless. Embarrassed Do write more.

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Sawyer_Tom

surbhimathur IF-Rockerz
surbhimathur
surbhimathur

Joined: 16 December 2011
Posts: 6082

Posted: 21 October 2012 at 5:13am | IP Logged
Sorry for commenting so late here nidhi..! Ouch

There's no doubt to the fact that the update was beautiful! Embarrassed
Though it had all the pain which swayam felt...but yet it was plain beautiful! Embarrassed
Sharon's a little convo with their junior was adorable..! loved how she orders the baby to strictly be like swayam and then laughs considering it a inherited quality!! Embarrassed
Update the third part soon! Embarrassed

btw you wrote awesome!! Cool

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Sawyer_Tom

--Tanzz-- IF-Dazzler
--Tanzz--
--Tanzz--

Joined: 23 June 2012
Posts: 2748

Posted: 21 October 2012 at 1:01pm | IP Logged
Clap Clap Clap
awesome nidhi! Clever write i must say.swayam's pain was portrayed perfectly and it was communicated to the very right person Smile
great job... Big smile
waiting for the third part and ofcourse your surprise.. Wink

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Sawyer_Tom

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