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A OneShot a Day: A SwaRon Collection (Page 48)

mrash Senior Member
mrash
mrash

Joined: 25 August 2012
Posts: 524

Posted: 16 October 2012 at 12:18am | IP Logged
Hi Nidhi,
 
People don't just read it, they eagerly wait for the update. And while waitig, they re-re-re-read it. (I have lost the count.) Got it?
 
I'm not good at writing, so I'll just say 'ditto' to everybody's comment. Thank you for the update. please keep writing.

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Sawyer_Tom

kool kanz Senior Member
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Joined: 02 November 2007
Posts: 352

Posted: 16 October 2012 at 12:21am | IP Logged
extremely well portrayal of swayam's emotionsClapClap...written superbly...d emotions wer so beautifully expressed...update soonSmile

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Sawyer_Tom

Ardour. Goldie
Ardour.
Ardour.

Joined: 17 November 2011
Posts: 1725

Posted: 16 October 2012 at 12:32am | IP Logged
Dancing
No asking for a reservation!
EDITED

Lines which absolutely intruded my heart-

Whatever I do to keep away from you, I somehow always end up with you. I don't want that. It hurts more than you can imagine.
Its like completely obvious!

Wishing against her better judgement that he would spare just one glance at her. She had felt a dull pain resonating through her body, crying at his negligence. Every few seconds, her gaze would rest on him, almost willing him to look at her. She couldn't stand the thought of him ignoring her. His lack of attention and frozen silence had been unbearably hurtful.

She thought she had been hurting. But after reading his side of the story, her pain felt trivial in front of his.

I'm speechless, Nidhi, you are outstandingly brilliant!

all of their beautiful memories had had a thick layer of pain underlining them.

Umm, its so beautifully depicted.

Sharon,

What is pain?

For me it's synonymous to the feeling of Love, now. Love has taught me the real meaning of Pain. It's because of Love that I feel so much Pain. For the first time I find myself wondering would it have been better if I hadn't fallen in Love with you? At least I wouldn't have to go through this pain.

For weeks now, I have driven myself crazy wondering if there ever was going to be an 'us'. And today, you killed that last flicker of hope in me. I guess I deserved it. I had been stupid enough to hope that we would ever be together. I have accepted it now. We were never meant to be. In all of this heartache and cold war I never imagined that you could like someone else. That someone else could take that place in your heart which I vied for. I guess I was too selfish to think that if you ever decided to let anyone in, it would be me. Or may be too ignorant. But either way I was wrong.

Because you do like someone else. You do want to be with someone else.

You are with someone else.

That night, when I saw him kissing you, my world had collapsed. It had come undone. The pain of seeing you with someone else was so immense that it took me by surprise. Everything had felt surreal. I felt numb. I felt hurt. I felt lost.

I don't know what had happened to me. You were never mine. Then why did it feel like I had lost you?

I will never forget how I had felt that day.

And if that wasn't enough, today you told me that he and you were together now.

And even after all this, my heart sank. I guess somewhere deep down I had been wishing that it had all been a mistake. That, that kiss didn't mean anything to you. But, once again, I guess I was wrong.

Nidhi, I'm crying. Its like Swayum speaking himself.Cry

The ink on the entire page had been smudged as if he had been crying when he had written this. And that just made the words more painful.


Its our Sharon! So insanely relatable,

. Are you actually softening up towards me?

When I looked into your eyes this morning, I saw a different light in them. There was actual gratefulness in them. What I didn't know was that this gratefulness was actually directed towards me.

Swammy returns with a profound analysis of ache.

I learnt today that I have always been blaming you for all the situations we get ourselves into. I shouldn't. You can't help them any more than I can and now I've made peace with the fact that I really shouldn't expect much from anything. Different situations demand different things from the both of us and we act accordingly. There really isn't anything much to it. I've been seeing all these connections everywhere when I should have just accepted them as something beyond our control and move on. I have now truly given up all hope I had of us ever being together. It'll happen if it has to happen.

I understand that what happened in Goa was merely because you needed me then. Only then. I understand that you no longer need me and I'm alright with that. I won't force myself on you, you don't have to worry.

I thought that was it. That was all that needed to be said between us. But then you surprised me. At first, I almost thought that I had imagined it. Sharon Raiprakash wouldn't say thank you to me!

Such quintessential excellence. Go and ask the creatives to appoint you as the head, I'm damn serious.

It surprised her when she felt a trickle of tears making their way down her cheek. She thought she had been burned out. Apparently not.

Her fingers, once more, found their way to her belly and she rubbed soothing circles on it, unsure whether it was her baby she was soothing or herself.

"I love your father very much," she said, her crying taking a noisy turn. "I was stupid back then, so stupid. I didn't mean to cause him so much pain. I would do anything to take it back."

"Don't you dare be like me, you understand?" she continued. "I think one self-destructive Raiprakash is enough for this world! You be a good, kind, caring Shekhawat. Just like your father. Don't worry, you have it in you!" she said, suddenly tinkling with laughter.

Awwie, she is poignant about the past and asking her baby to be like him. Loved the fact more than anything else.

@Red-Our angel Sharon!

Oh good lady, give us the next one soon, please, literally begging you!Embarrassed




Edited by nikita_arsha - 16 October 2012 at 12:52am

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Sawyer_Tom

Sawyer_Tom IF-Dazzler
Sawyer_Tom
Sawyer_Tom

Joined: 22 March 2012
Posts: 3573

Posted: 16 October 2012 at 1:44am | IP Logged
@Pratik: I appreciate each and every comment as much as the other. As a writer I think all opinions matter. So please don't think that I don't appreciate your comments, cause I do. They matter a lot! 

And as far as lucid writing goes, I don't know about my other works but this one has a Diary in it and I have always maintained that a Diary being a personal belonging will contain thoughts and words that the owner is most comfortable with. It is never an eloquent piece of work unless it is meant to be that way. People generally write what they feel as simply as they can in a Diary. 

That being said, I really am thankful for your comment. Like with Kanks, it brought a smile to my face too.

@ Nikita: ROFL. I wouldn't mind being the Creative Head of D3. But then D3 would become S3. If you know what I mean! Stern Smile

Thanks a lot for the comment. I'll try to update. That's all I can promise. 

@All: Thanks thanks thanks. Blushing It's good to see that there is still some readership left for this thread.

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Ardour.pratik54000

sweetangelpayal IF-Dazzler
sweetangelpayal
sweetangelpayal

Joined: 28 April 2009
Posts: 2745

Posted: 16 October 2012 at 1:49am | IP Logged
gosh, i feel so emotionally drained after readin dis!  i was wonderin y it tuk so long to write dis but now m glad it did! its beautiful... d part wer sharon says dat one self destructive raiprakash is enough cracked me up e1 though i was literally tryin hard to gulp down my tears. i cant wait to knw wad wil happen wen swayam comes to knw she has read it, if he ever will know! 

and the whole kiss scene..his feelings were so beautifully portrayed, it really depicted how is heart must hav ached!
dis update was reallly wonderful!

but again, m scared...its march now...d part she read, i mean! n very soon its gonna b april...d canteen seen...i dont want to imagine wads written der...
could again visualise d whole pain swayam went thru in d abandoned corridor wid dis update..n den he was hurt more than dis wid d april fight! gosh!!! m so scared to read d next part now! but cant wait either. see nw m behavin lyk sharon..confusedConfusedLOL

plzzz continue soon...Smile

PS: i second wid nikita abt d creative head part...n i dont think i'l mind watchin S3(as u call it) coz it wil still b d3. honsetly after kria's exit, i hav watched d show for swaron so yeah, i would still watch it. only bring kria bak...n den u can hav ur way wid d storyLOL



Edited by sweetangelpayal - 16 October 2012 at 2:25am

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Ardour.Sawyer_Tom

Ardour. Goldie
Ardour.
Ardour.

Joined: 17 November 2011
Posts: 1725

Posted: 16 October 2012 at 2:50am | IP Logged
@Nidhi- I'm waiting for S3 because I flip the channel whenever they show anything else. SwaRon have still kept me glued to the show.

@Payal- No more S3 now, TanHa departed but jab tak Nidhi jaise writers hain, why fikar?

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sweetangelpayalSawyer_Tom

Legilimens. IF-Rockerz
Legilimens.
Legilimens.

Joined: 06 September 2012
Posts: 9037

Posted: 16 October 2012 at 2:51am | IP Logged
This is seriously great piece of work..Smile
I read the first part too and trust me...you have great command over words..
Amazingly written..
Swayam's point of view was beautifully written in the form of a diary..
The whole kiss part, the thank you scene as well as the scene where nicole tells them that they have mind blowing chemistry were nicely penned and the emotions were amazingly portrayed..
It actually depicted what Swayam must have been through..how much his heart must have ached..
The last part where Sharon tells her baby to be like his father and that she loves him a lot was good too..One of the most beautiful aspects of this part..It was cute :)
Honestly..the line "One Rai Prakash is enough for the world cracked me upTongue
On the whole..it was wonderful..Smile
Loved it!
I hope the third part would be awesome too..
Waiting for the update :D 


Edited by swaron29 - 16 October 2012 at 2:52am

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Sawyer_Tom

Nirju99 IF-Dazzler
Nirju99
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Joined: 02 July 2011
Posts: 3965

Posted: 16 October 2012 at 2:52am | IP Logged
nice

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Sawyer_Tom

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