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A OneShot a Day: A SwaRon Collection (Page 47)

sky_fighter IF-Sizzlerz
sky_fighter
sky_fighter

Joined: 23 June 2012
Posts: 15287

Posted: 15 October 2012 at 2:26pm | IP Logged
u are a great writer no need to say that to u 
read the first part like ages ago tou had to read it again today 
really love the concept 
and remembering all of it at this moment is even making me cry (hehehehe)
any how 2nd part was equally great as the 1st 
however the ending of this part was quite cute 
a mother telling her unborn child to be like its father :)
do update soon 

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Sawyer_Tom

marauder IF-Sizzlerz
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Joined: 08 January 2011
Posts: 12093

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Sawyer_Tom

Snowey IF-Rockerz
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Joined: 15 March 2012
Posts: 9620

Posted: 15 October 2012 at 6:23pm | IP Logged
Dear Nidhi, 

There is a third part to it should come with a Big smile  face and not an Ermm
Coming to the update, while reading i was thinking that along with the guilt and pain Sharon would have sure felt an unsaid emotions taking over mostly a feeling of being loved no matter how she reciprocated to the feelings then. Its not that Swayam has not been vocal of his feelings but his diary stating the same and more so because its the memory from when they were not together adds to the love which is painfully pure. The best part was when Sharon got talking to her unborn child asking him to take over Swayam's traits and not hers.
The update also got me reminiscing to the beautiful Swaron past and thankfully gave reasons to why i still love them the way i do. 

P.S - For some weird reasons my like tab has gone rogue on me and iSorry. I Promise i will check it first thing in the morning again. 


Edited by Sudha-SK - 15 October 2012 at 6:24pm

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Sawyer_Tom

Crazy4AshVik IF-Rockerz
Crazy4AshVik
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Posts: 7668

Posted: 15 October 2012 at 8:06pm | IP Logged
Awesome!! Cant wait for the next partSmile

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Sawyer_Tom

Sawyer_Tom IF-Dazzler
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Joined: 22 March 2012
Posts: 3573

Posted: 15 October 2012 at 9:19pm | IP Logged
@Marauder: You can't imagine the number of times I asked myself that question when I was writing this. I don't know any guy who has documented his thoughts in a diary like this (or maybe they have but just didn't tell me about it). But like Rafi says, a little modification and fabrication is okay when writing a story. And besides, everybody knows Swayam is not just any boy. So I'd like to believe that he has it in him to maintain a diary. Big smile

@Sudha: As you know, I haven't been writing much lately so now, writing a third part may take a LOT of time hence the Ermm

@All: Thank you so much. I'm surprised people actually read this. I'm not exactly regular. Ermm 

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MirageSwaronSnoweymarauder

nature2 IF-Stunnerz
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Joined: 20 April 2011
Posts: 25832

Posted: 15 October 2012 at 11:10pm | IP Logged
ConfusedConfusedConfusedConfusedConfusedConfusedConfusedConfused
nature2 IF-Stunnerz
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Posted: 15 October 2012 at 11:12pm | IP Logged
Great writting ClapClapClap

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Sawyer_Tom

pratik54000 IF-Rockerz
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Joined: 25 March 2012
Posts: 5594

Posted: 16 October 2012 at 12:11am | IP Logged

 Heyo nice to see an update to the diary...was waiting for you to write something and finally you wrote something so I as usual enjoyed reading that piece of work...

Now I am not a writer or some language expert to comment on technicalities or grammar or use of words... I know this things you look for most in the comments you recieve. But I guess there are persons who can judge and comment on that part best so I would surely not try to fit my legs into their shoes...its your work meera,shishir,kanks,sudha to comment about this parts as you guys know best of this things...
 
so now you would be wondering that why I am here than?... reasonable to thing because you will be thinking that I have not uttered a single word about the update that you have posted... so before i comment on that I would like to say whatever I am about to say is just an opinion that any commonier who doesn't have knowledge about anything will do...
 
Now when the first part was posted of this diary... i was thinking that can it be writen with anymore simplicity than this... well answer was no because to hold on to emotion perfectly with correct frame of minds and words which are simple yet touching is not anyone's cup of tea... so full dose of appreciation there for you... that part touched my heart with the way it was explained...
 
After that i knew there is a second part to come and my expectation were sky high for this part... so when I saw PM, I got this Idea that atlast the part 2 is posted and finally I am reading it... so now if that first part touched my heart then this part touched my heart till last mili inch and it truely represented a human emotion of guilt for betraying someone...
 
The first part in the update where she recalled the event which swayam had writen about the state of mind after few days past to that abandon corridor incident... it was simple yet it perfectly had that connect of words of diary to the mind and heart of sharon... every reaction of sharon was explained with this ease that she just captured my heart and mind so i began thinking like i was sharon for the moment...
 
The next part had this event where sharon told swayam that she was dating someone else... and i can say this as I am a boy and I can conncet to the feelings of a boy after such an event... it was just perfectly descripted. You touched the right emotion state of swayam and expressed with so much simplicity and words which were few but it had effect to capture any human who was reading that... and sharon's pain and frustration that she herself was the reason for all the pain he went through that time was showcased perfectly...cudoes to you (I know me saying all this doesn't make much difference to you  but what do i do i am a fan of your writing and cannot stop myself from commenting or appluading the good work)
 
And than this last part came where that after fest thanking gesture happend again in the abandon corridor... it was the part of the os that was best and my personal favourite part of the os... A pleasure to read all the emotional cycle going on in the minds of swayam who wrote the diary long back and reaction state of sharon who was reading it now after years gap... but the way she felt reading those sequences was a pleasure to read...
 
Loved the way Sharon chatted with the baby inside her that one self destructive Sharon Rai Prakash is good enough for world, they don't need a second one and asked her to be a Shekhawat just like her father. She also happily and proudly said that she can do it because somewhere she has jins of her father was joy to read...
 
So in the end I really want to say it was set in Sad or Realisations strike mode but it was a pleasure reading this One Shot in 2 beautiful parts...
 
I can just hope that this extra large comment hasn't boared you much...
 
Pratik...
 
P.S. I know that I have just spoke everything good about your work and I can say you truely desrve that also for such an excellent work... But with that I really want to say this is the first work of your which had all simple words so connecting to the story was more easy this time.. I know your language and command over words is excellent but everybody reading on this forum are not that much enriched with all the difficult words so usage of some easy words and simple lines make them enjoy the works more...well this was stricktly my personal opinion don't take in a negative way. You can carry on with your Idea's I and all will be eaching to read as ever...I am sorry if any of my words have hurt you...


Edited by pratik54000 - 16 October 2012 at 12:14am

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Sawyer_Tom

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