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A OneShot a Day: A SwaRon Collection (Page 24)

marauder IF-Sizzlerz
marauder
marauder

Joined: 08 January 2011
Posts: 12107

Posted: 08 September 2012 at 10:16am | IP Logged
*Edited*
 
And you did it again. You have never failed once in surprising us and this time it was the biggest one of all. I have never expected by the way this OS began that it would take such a dramatic turn in middle. I was smiling and laughing by the way Swayam was describing his stalker and then the way in which he was goofing up. But then like a sudden break to the bus which they were travelling we were presented with a harsh truth of life - i.e Life is not a bed of roses. All the dialogues hence after was just beautifully penned. Each emotion which Swayam felt was equally felt by me. Simply great.

I just loved the way you have presented the character of Sharon in this update. She really was an inspiration. Awesome job done in this OS. Loved it. One of the most hearrt touching one I ever read.

P.S - Aur rahi remaining two OS's ki baat. To take ur time. I'm sure no one would complain if you gave them an update 4-5 days later.


Edited by marauder - 08 September 2012 at 11:36am

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mili1987mrashswaroniliciousCoffeeAddictSawyer_Tom

lyfisbeautiful Goldie
lyfisbeautiful
lyfisbeautiful

Joined: 01 January 2012
Posts: 1667

Posted: 08 September 2012 at 10:26am | IP Logged
First.. let me bask in the glory of hvning my name mentioned at the beginning of this beautiful one shot!!Cool..  ignoring the context as per my convenience!!Approve
Saved the best for the last.. u just made sure no one nags u fr the remaining OSs!! specially those who hd md up thr minds to do so..Ermm

The idea of the marathon was a surprise but the surprise element didn't end there.. it resurfaced in every OS and in this one it was at its effective best.. It wasn't the kind of surprise that mks u squeal in excitement but it tugs at ur heart like no other.. what swayam felt was true fr all of us..
It was one of those painful moments of life, when a horrible realization suddenly dawns on you and you fervently wish that you were lying in some ditch, dead and unobtrusive. As his eyes met hers, all the longing in them turned to an astonishing amount of pain.

From here onward this turned into a richer experience with every word..

He jerked his head upwards to look at her and for an eternal moment he looked past everything ' her beauty, her eyes and her clothes. For one moment, he just glimpsed at her unmarred, pure soul from where her heart-warming smile came from. For one moment he stared at her in awe. 
U had me speechless.. once n for all.. 

And then it was sharon's turn to do so with her earnest request to feel his face.. the way she does that was brilliantly written.. It was definitely my favourite part. I am amazed at how u made us go through such contrasting emotional experiences with this segment and the one in foreplay.. Though that was different n it would be blasphemous to draw a comparison, i wud like to say that the diversity n innovation one can see in ur work is truly amazing..!
(And to think that u doubt those at times makes me wanna strangle you!Stern Smile)

While most of this was touching and inspiring this had its light heartd moments too!
Loved the beginning. We'l nvr know wat goes on in the few grey cells they hv but a middle aged woman checking them out sure mks it to the unpleasant category in there!! Swayam's reaction to it was totally understandableLOL 
He quickly averted his gaze and prayed to all the new Gods and the old for his bus to come quickly.


Special mention to the perfect ending.. It ended on a wonderful note.. thank you so much for not mkin him help her to her destination..! 

P.S. I love u despite the fact that u used my usual font colour in ur innovative experiments with them n i hd to go thru the trble f choosing another one!




Edited by lyfisbeautiful - 09 September 2012 at 9:56am

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Sawyer_Tom

Snowey IF-Rockerz
Snowey
Snowey

Joined: 15 March 2012
Posts: 9620

Posted: 08 September 2012 at 10:27am | IP Logged
RES
Just in time to res my post. But this one may take time.

Ok i am reading this after roommates and i have to say i loved this one the most.
I liked how you could make us feel so many emotions just with this one OS. The start of the OS had be smiling with the ease the plot started. Swayam reaction on being stuck and later getting himself a stacker reminded me something we spoke in the CC few days before. But with a smooth transaction my mind drifted to other emotions. The second time Swayam could feel her beauty but the beauty of her soul - beautifully done. Just out of the world. I liked the Character sketch you gave Sharon the mot in this one she is not sulking of what life did to her but braving it and enjoying it to the fullest.
You know as a writer myself i sometimes think how important it is to give a message anytime you can with ur work..it may sound preachy but thats exactly how i feel about it and you did manage to do just that. Life may not give you the best, but to make best of it is a art by itself and once u try working on it, life is beautiful. 
Thanks for this amazing OS dear. 




Edited by Sudha-SK - 09 September 2012 at 5:47pm

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Sawyer_Tom

LamheChurake IF-Sizzlerz
LamheChurake
LamheChurake

Joined: 24 February 2008
Posts: 11646

Posted: 08 September 2012 at 10:43am | IP Logged
This is a BAAP thread. Cant wait to start reading. Saweeerrrayyy I love you so FRIGGING much its not even funny <3

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Ardour.lyfisbeautifulTanuka_TanHaSawyer_TomMirageSwaronSnoweymarauder

Sawyer_Tom IF-Dazzler
Sawyer_Tom
Sawyer_Tom

Joined: 22 March 2012
Posts: 3573

Posted: 08 September 2012 at 10:47am | IP Logged
Originally posted by SwaRon911

This is a BAAP thread. Cant wait to start reading. Saweeerrrayyy I love you so FRIGGING much its not even funny <3

I can only imagine how much you love me by the boldness (literally) of this text. Embarrassed Hug

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lyfisbeautifulArdour.MirageSwaronTanuka_TanHaSnoweyLamheChurakemarauder

gargicool Groupbie
gargicool
gargicool

Joined: 10 October 2011
Posts: 163

Posted: 08 September 2012 at 11:08am | IP Logged
AMAZING!!! Waiting for the next OS

Edited by gargicool - 09 September 2012 at 12:11pm

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Sawyer_Tom

OceanicRockStar IF-Rockerz
OceanicRockStar
OceanicRockStar

Joined: 09 March 2012
Posts: 7645

Posted: 08 September 2012 at 11:24am | IP Logged
res!
unres
firstly sry for being late...now coming to the os...wooowww!!!
amezing dear...a very heart touching story...blind sharon and her psoitive attitude towards life...awesome wrk dear!!!

Edited by Luvsd3 - 10 September 2012 at 11:58pm

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Sawyer_Tom

-swaron- Groupbie
-swaron-
-swaron-

Joined: 03 June 2012
Posts: 120

Posted: 08 September 2012 at 11:32am | IP Logged
amazing os
and very touching one also
love it

Edited by -swaron- - 09 September 2012 at 11:05am

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Sawyer_Tom

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