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A OneShot a Day: A SwaRon Collection (Page 21)

marauder IF-Sizzlerz
marauder
marauder

Joined: 08 January 2011
Posts: 12093

Posted: 07 September 2012 at 10:48am | IP Logged
*Edited*
LOLLOLLOL

Well I don't what to say or from where to begin. First of all let me start with telling the title was just mindblowing and the concept was equally amazing. But the thing which was the best the way you wrote it. It was titillating to an extent but still it has the core SwaRon element of love intact.

Whether it was Sharon's teasing Swayam or vice versa everything was just awesomely written. But the best bit was small portion which you interjected in between that is so aptly SwaRon like. And yeah the most favourite portion me was the way you described the reaction of boys and girls. Usse jyada ache tarike se nahi likha jaa sakta. LOL

You never cease to amaze us. Everytime you have come up with something new, something even more awesomer. Waiting for the next OS looking to see whats up your sleeve next.


Edited by marauder - 08 September 2012 at 3:35am

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shan16MirageSwaronSawyer_Tom

Snowey IF-Rockerz
Snowey
Snowey

Joined: 15 March 2012
Posts: 9620

Posted: 07 September 2012 at 10:48am | IP Logged
RES
edited

Nidhi am still not feeling good :( but wanted to edit this one soon.
 You already know what i feel about this for most of the part..not going to be looking for new adjectives here Embarrassed As we already did a 3 page discussion on how well you wrote the foreplay part i will leave that part here. But apart from that i loved how have shown  SwaRon enjoying their secret relationship and why they wanted to keep it that way. It felt real SwaRon like also both Sharon and Swayam's character were so close to what they are in D3. It made a lovely read and as i already told you there is no need of you being conscious as you do perfect justice to any thing you write about.
Loved it
P.S - congo u a dazzler now Cool
Sudha Hug



Edited by Sudha-SK - 07 September 2012 at 6:47pm

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MirageSwaronSawyer_Tomnature2

OceanicRockStar IF-Rockerz
OceanicRockStar
OceanicRockStar

Joined: 09 March 2012
Posts: 7645

Posted: 07 September 2012 at 10:51am | IP Logged
wow!!! very interesting concept dear...luvd it!!!
poor aryan had to suffer alot...lol
amezing one.

Edited by Luvsd3 - 07 September 2012 at 10:54am

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Sawyer_Tom

gargicool Groupbie
gargicool
gargicool

Joined: 10 October 2011
Posts: 163

Posted: 07 September 2012 at 10:53am | IP Logged
I really loved this verbal ping pong match. Especially from the son's POV and i also liked the name Aryan Shikhawat. At first i thought you were going to make him Swayam's little brother! The hilarity of it all is really amazing. I absolutely loved the update and Aryan was really adorable. SwaRon were also quite good. But Aryan took the lime-light. Embarrassed

Will read 'Foreplay' and edit the comment with my review soon!


Edited by gargicool - 07 September 2012 at 10:54am

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Sawyer_Tom

OceanicRockStar IF-Rockerz
OceanicRockStar
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Joined: 09 March 2012
Posts: 7645

Posted: 07 September 2012 at 10:54am | IP Logged
res!
*unres*
woooahh!!! wat was that...luvd every prt of this os...the kiss topic...sharons demo...swayum as volunteer...but more than that liked the part whr swayum made sharon to feel the same...awesome os...the foreplay really played alot!!!

Edited by Luvsd3 - 07 September 2012 at 11:27am

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Sawyer_Tom

swaronland Goldie
swaronland
swaronland

Joined: 07 June 2012
Posts: 1127

Posted: 07 September 2012 at 10:57am | IP Logged
res
unres
OMGBlushingonly u can manage to imagine the concept like this "Kiss demo"ShockedLOLHug 
loved the explanation of their secret relationship. its very true their love story can be never normal.Wink
loved this bold sharon & naughty swayamHeart
enjoyed it every bitClap
thanks for pm



Edited by swaronland - 08 September 2012 at 12:29am

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Sawyer_Tom

nj_SRKholic IF-Rockerz
nj_SRKholic
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Joined: 03 March 2012
Posts: 6767

Posted: 07 September 2012 at 11:07am | IP Logged
ooo god breath takinng update...!
ur awesum..

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Sawyer_Tom

lyfisbeautiful Goldie
lyfisbeautiful
lyfisbeautiful

Joined: 01 January 2012
Posts: 1667

Posted: 07 September 2012 at 11:17am | IP Logged
Res.. eee sorry.. this one last time..
unres

With this u completely thwarted my plans on going slow with unresing.. how cud i read this n nt comment right away is beyong me..!!Stern Smile But i can't delay this further!! U hv no idea how amazing this one is!! all the OSs are so different from one another that we can't really compare but this one was a bold attempt at an OS as the title suggests and u hv done the best u cud hv done with the concept!! U hv written it so well that it hs already made it to my list of favourites.. No not bcos of the contentTongue but for the writing style and the overall appeal!! 
I don't know if u made a conscious effort to mk it seem dat way but this one here is very balanced in its approach.. at first glance it seems wat its meant to be.. a fun read, highly enjoyable n very engrossing for obvious reasons!! but in between we hv few swaron bits that'l nvr fail to demand serious attention and tug at a swaronians heart regardless of the mood set by the os.. 

But the truth was that they enjoyed keeping it a secret. There was an odd thrill to it, a contagious excitement. But the still deeper truth was that they were scared of what it would do to them. There would be no more privacy, they would be compelled to share their intimate moments. And the thought of sharing even a single memory of theirs with someone else was unacceptable by both. The fact that only the both of them knew about it, lent a certain charm to each memory. It was their own little world where nothing else and no one else mattered. And anyone intruding upon it felt hurtful.

Beautifully put.. this is our swaron..!!

As his eyes began to widen, he clenched his teeth, to stop them from widening anymore. His hands curled up into a fist, to quiet his heart which had began singing a rapid, intense tune. He put all his mental energy into stopping his breath from dancing a fast paced dance to the rhythm of his heart. But he couldn't stop the heat wave that her hand send through his body, directly towards his heart, as if fuelling it on.

No amount of words cn appreciate how how amazing u are with such descriptions so i'l kp mum..
of crs i hv other favourite bits as well but i won't quote them.. i think i'l read them again!!

P.S as meera said u don't need to be conscious about ur writing.. u can never really go wrong with any storyline!! Hug


Edited by lyfisbeautiful - 07 September 2012 at 1:47pm

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Ardour.MirageSwaronSawyer_Tommarauder

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