Originally posted by GodHelpUs
Warning: Great wall of text. Sighting confirmed from the also ran of a planet...Now, non existent Pluto
My Problem today: I hate illogical small talks.
Claimer: These are all real incidents and everything implied and explicitly stated is true and intentional.
At a family gathering , I park my car and have barely taken couple of steps.
Annoying relative : Oh my god, you are here, abhi aaye?
Me: (Weak half hearted smile) Namaste
What I want to say:" Nahi chudail, main icchadhari naagin hoon.. Su toh ghar pe hai, ye uska alter ego hai jiska roop maine dhaaran kiya hai..badi bhook lagi hai, aap badi hatti katti dikh rahi ho aaj
But really, remember the time about my aunts and Mum and suffocation?????I think like in the Victorian age where people were forced to take classes on the art of conversation, it should be made mandatory for people everywhere to go through this training even now! Stop stating the obvious fro crying out loud!
I am upset after a yell fest between two colleagues while on a dinner outing. I get sucked in and despite not saying anything get dragged into it anyways.( Note: I was upset because I din't know what it was they were yelling about. and given that they were recalling incidents as old as 3 years I was bewildered to say the least..If I had my attention anywhere else it would be an insult to the coleslaw salad and made to specification Wheat Penne pasta that had me on the brink of achieving the Big O
Ideally I would rather shut up ,let me process the anger, more like confusion in this case and get it out of me.But then there's always this 'ungli' in your circle.
Ungli: Hey Su, don't be upset yaar, hota hai..
Me: I know. I'll be fine in 5 just let me be.
Ungli: Yaar she dint mean it that way.
Me: I know. I'll be fine in 5 if you let me be. I will forget it as well.
Ungli: You know her na, atleast,you act like an adult.happens with friends.
Me: I know. I'll be fine in 5 . Will you let me be. I will forgive and forget it as well.
There is always that one oh-not-so-goody-2-shoe character in all our lives eh? I feel ur pain sister!
And then I let out a loud sigh,get up and go. Because by now I don't know what I was upset about anymore..what ever it was has been replaced with pure fury..wanting to kill the Ungli with my bare hand.
What I want to say : Marjaani, daffa ho jaa yahan se, Abhi isi waqt. If I should launch into a verbal assault now you will be scarred for life. And hope you are fed bug infested ravioli some day cause you ruined my appetite, just like that.
Btw, we went to Little Italy for the treat
Main yahaa pizza kha kha ke bore ho gayi hoon! Shop main jaade charades khelne padte hain! Koi mujhe ek accha samosa dilaado!
Should I even wonder why do I end up being the bad girl almost always?
So , as you all gather, its one of those days today , and no I am not PMS'ing...A lot of things irk me, momentarily of course ( and trust me patience is a virtue with me driven home by the fact that I make such descriptive posts)
And then I get over it. But then these little things sort of accumulate in my sub conscious as would sebum and one fine day burst forth like an angry, unsightly, stubborn zit before prom night. Today's epi was strictly speaking, fine. Maybe because mediocrity fed in large doses over a period of time finds its audience even in the most resilient of grey cell ; even in the most analytic minds like us
And no one gets to rubbish this theory simply because we all still follow the...mmm... Iss serial ko main kya naam doon? Pagalpanti, Ramanchhi, Nalayakapan, Velapanti..take your pick..
Where is this leading to , you ask? Patience. Back tracking couple of weeks I chanced upon threads where busy body's were compiling the best dialogs by Khushi-ASR onscreen and SI BS off screen..It was fun while it lasted because it let's one relive all those wonderful on screen off screen moments.
Yet today I snapped. Because of bakwaas dialogs. There's a prevailing wisdom," speech is silver, silence is golden.
This has been happening Post kidnap. Khushboorat ke kisi naye confusing post main she said ki all this drama is going to lead to something more dhamaakedar! Dhamaaka toh hoga...apne dimag ka!
If the PH had let, in recent times, Shyam contort his face and exercise his facial muscles instead of mouthing silly dialogs, that would scare the pants off a lot of people far more effectively than his absurd monologues .Doosro se chodo, khud se kaun sa chunchundar aise baat karta hai !!
In yest's epi, when Minerva chose to smile on our Chottey and he figures out that Shyam facilitated -Return of the root cause of IPKKND jhamela.My not so dear Dadi, reason of all that effing barbaadi...Lot of folks went OMG!!!! Thats's the ASR of yore . The calculating , shrewd, and smarty (jodhpuri) pants...What came out of the realization? Nothing. He now knows Dadi's arrival was orchestrated. So? How does it help the current situation at all?
In contrast, the scene in today's episode, when he followed Khushi sad gaze at the retreating figure of Dadi ji, wordlessly he assessed the situation just right. I was like. Thank god kuch dialog maar ke inhone moment kharab nahi kar diya.
May be I have spoken too soon kal mere armaano ka kachra kar denge ye..
In today's episode, which brain f*** gave the dialog to NK, ' hum di ke liye bazaar se jaakar dher saari mithayi laate hai... Like , really? Ye kehna bada zaroori tha? Kyunki aap frame mein ho aur aapko kuch toh bolna tha? Is situation mein mithayi and kheer? Really long hmmm!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NK ka dialogue???? Aaj Aakash ka Dialogue suna??? Generally main bhai ki baat aakh band karke maanta hoon, par aaj...pataa nahi...LIKE REALLY...ABHI TERA MUH KHUL RAHAA HAIN KAMEEENEEE!!!!!!!!
Ab koi nahi puchega ki Albert pinto ko gussa kyu aata hai?
Is it just me or there are souls who find that the one writing the dialogues should be hunted down and ripped apart? Most of the times the dialog don't sync with the gravity of the situation or sit well in the context.They don't add value to the scene being played out but adds to the stupid quotient of the speaker. It's so jarring that it pisses me off to no end.
I mean who talks like that in real life? I may not say the most intelligible stuff at all times ( this post is clearly an indicator of that self destructive streak in me) but you will never catch me dead or alive mouthing such lame sentences.
Why can't people just shut up when they have nothing to contribute to a conversation? Why dear God why? And what makes me so special that you have me run into just those kinds? You must really hate me cause someday I'll have blood on my hands. Please let me be the chosen one, jisse saat khoon maaf ho...
I'll come up with a compilation of all such annoying moments from the show..soon enough (hopefully).. mean while you can add if any springs to your attention.
P.S: What really caused this tragedy of a post though is...I was travelling on work..At the airport. Collecting my baggage. Run into an ex colleague. Who goes like , " Hey, its you" What are you doing here? I can't believe it's you? and then goes bonkers for next 10 minutes basically repeating the same stuff.
In my mind, I go, Why??Why me? He know what I do for a living. He knows where I am based out of. He even knows what I am currently working on.He effing chatted with me last evening on skype...So why God why?
All I could say to him was...Nice to run into you here. Last we spoke you moved base here and hope that's working out fine for you. Sorry gotta rush for now.Catch you online for updates.
And then, they say I have an attitude. To all those...I don't need to say anything because I have delegated all my talking to a particular fingerSamjhe ya samjhaoon
Philhaal these days I am trying chanting Om to coool down...try karke dekh kuch farak padta hain kya !