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Ek Hazaaron Mein Meri Behna Hain
Ek Hazaaron Mein Meri Behna Hain

VirMan FF |Hate How Much I Love You| Part 5 Pg 19 (Page 19)

..Ankita.. IF-Rockerz
..Ankita..
..Ankita..

Joined: 19 June 2012
Posts: 5067

Posted: 22 November 2012 at 10:16pm | IP Logged

Part 5

Of Love and Betrayal



'You know it's not love until it hurts.'

 

Viraat.

I walked across the street, lost in my own thoughts. I had no idea where I was; all I knew, was that I was alone, as always. Never had I had the pleasure to have the company of someone who loved me, of someone who cared for me. Someone to laugh and smile with in my happy moments; someone hug and cry with in my weak moments. They say that even if the world turns its back to you, family sticks with you, through thick and then. Where was my family, I wondered.


Dad had died a long time before I even knew what the word 'dad' meant. Mom didn't have much time to spare for me, with the endless parade of parties and cotillions, dinner parties and polo matches, with the same narrow minded people with their mindless chatter. When was the last time we talked? Ah yes! A few months back at the fund raiser for MSA. So was left?


The girl who had broken my heart? The girl who had kissed me and then killed me?


Maanvi?


I had spent six long years waiting for her, hoping that she would come back and explain the reason why she had rejected me that night. Why she had accepted me momentarily if she only wanted to run back to Steve. Why she had played with my feelings the way a butcher plays with a goat before slaughtering it. Such a long time had passed between that night and tonight, yet the way I felt then was the way I felt now. The same feeling of despair, hopelessness and dejection.


You know that a good, long session of weeping can often make you feel better, even if your circumstances have not changed one bit. So I cried.


When someone cries so hard that it hurts their throat, it is out of frustration or knowing that no matter what you can do or attempt to do, can't change the situation. When you feel like you need to cry, when you want to just get it out, relieve some of the pressure from the inside - that is true pain. Because no matter how hard you try or how bad you want to, you can't. That pain just stays in place. Then, if you are lucky, one small tear may escape from those eyes that water constantly. That one tear, that tiny, salty, droplet of moisture is a means of escape. Although it's just a small tear, it is the heaviest thing in the world. And it doesn't do a damn thing to fix anything.


I fell down on the road, washed by nothing and hanging on. I never cry at night. I am afraid of hearing voices, or a voice. But tonight, I cried, hoping desperately that a fraction of the pain that was burning my heart would ease out. The salty droplets stung my face on the cold wintry night, as I tried to force the hurt out of me.


I have come to the edge, of the land. I could get pushed over any second. I waited for someone to push me over the ledge and end this misery that they called life, yet in my heart, I still had a desperate hope that she would come to rescue me.


My mind suffered a series of flashbacks.


---


"When I see your face, there's not a thing I would like to change. Because you're amazing, just the way you are. I love you Maanvi. I love you."

She took my hand and danced with me when I asked her to.

 

---

'Why are you apologizing Viraat?'


'Because I promised to protect you from the world. From yourself. And I went back on it. I'm truly, truly sorry Maanvi. I just...'


She stopped my speech by kissing me on my lips. A kiss that felt like it last for an eternity.


 

---

"You're just not my type. You're too childish. I don't get where you those fake emotions from, seeing that you've never seen emotions to begin with. You don't even have a family Viraat, how can I expect you to have even an ounce of sentiment?"


"Maanvi'"


"I don't love you Viraat. I never have and I never will."

 

---


Why Maanvi? Why did you hurt me so? If you never loved me, then why didn't you say so? If you wanted Steve, why did you kiss me? If you never wanted me beside you, then why did you take shelter in my arms whenever you felt weak? Why Maanvi? Why did you do this to me?


The tears having flown out, my heart felt a little lighter; the pain, a little more bearable. I breathed slowly as I recalled our most recent meeting, a few hours ago.


'I will hurt you the way you hurt me, and I feel make you understand the pain of the wound you had inflicted on me. I will show you what it feels like to be a walking corpse. I promise you, I will.'


I realized that time for revenge had come now. I felt that maybe now, after all these years I was strong enough to be the heartless bitch that she had been to me. My resolve had weakened to a great extent until I found out that she engaged to someone else, who was no Steve. Which for some reason, didn't bother me as much as I thought it would have.


I had known, deep in my heart, that she never loved Steve. She had never loved him. I was sure of that. Whether or not she had ever truly loved me was a question that would remained unanswered even after my death, because of her expertise at putting up a veil for the rest of the world. I didn't ask myself whether she loved me or whether she didn't; neither did I ask myself why she had done what she did.


The time for questions was over now. It was time, for revenge.

 

 ---

 

Maanvi.

 

I loved Viraat. Always have, always will.


Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you've never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you.


When something wonderful happens, you can't wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around.


You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it's like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn't exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day's work and always brings a smile to your face.


In their presence, there's no need for continuous conversation, but you find you're quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon.


You open your heart knowing that there's a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that's so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.


As I walked alone on the street, I recalled the events of the nights that had forced me to push Viraat out of my life.


---

 

'C'mon babe! Stop being so cranky! It's not like I'm luring you into my bedroom' he said seductively.

 'f**k. Off.'

I pushed Rahul into the pool in the drive to push him away, but ended up killing him.

---

 

'Because I promised to protect you from the world. From yourself. And I went back on it. I'm truly, truly sorry Maanvi. I just...'


His words were drowned as I pulled his face down to mine and kissed Viraat. The door blasted open and we pulled apart to see who it was.


 'How dare you, bitch! How could you kill him? He was my best mate!' Steve yelled at me.


'Steve, it wasn't her fault.'


'You stay out of this, Vadhera. This is our business.' He said as he tried to grab my hand.


Viraat stepped in front of me and hid me from Steve's view.


'What's Maanvi's business, is my business.'


They glared at each other, eyes filled with loathing, their fists clenched in fury, each of them waiting for the other to make the first move.


'Look Steve, Rahul was misbehaving with Maanvi. He tried to assault her. She pushed because of self defense; it was an accident.'


'Try telling that to the police, lover boy.'


'The police will have no choice but to believe Maanvi. They will see the bruises on her hand, and they will have her honest testimony. They can form no case against her; of that, I'm sure. So if you're thinking about an arrest and bad media, you don't need to worry Steve.'


'Are you sure?'


'A hundred and one percent sure.'


'Great. Now that this business is sorted out, why don't you give me back my girlfriend Vadhera?'


I stepped from behind Viraat and said, 'Steve, I'm sorry. I can't be with you anymore. I love Viraat.'


Steve looked at me with his eyes wide, unwilling to believe what I had just said. For a moment, his eyes flashed with a red glint of utter madness and anger, but the next second he smirked.


'Good luck handling her Viraat. Have a nice life.' He said as he walked out.


Viraat beamed as he hugged me, but my mind was wondering what the hell was Steve up to.


---

As I walked, a pair of hands groped my waist and pulled me into a room.


'Hello there, sexy.'


'Steve! You nearly gave me a heart attack!' I gasped as I realized who it was.


'So, how are things going with Viraat, huh? True love, you say?'


I couldn't think of a reason to lie to him, so I admitted to him, 'Yes, I love Viraat.'


'So how do you plan to live when he's away?'


'What do you mean?'


He turned around to look at me and smiled.


 'What are you talking about? Stop talking in circles Steve! Get to the point!'


'Ok. Let me put in a straight and simple way. A murder was committed on the school premises tonight, at a time when school is officially closed. Party after hours, isn't it?'


 'The police needs to hold someone responsible isn't it? So even if they let you off the hook, they've got to catch someone. How about, the person who started this party? The one who had secretly stolen the pool keys from the Principal's office? The one who had started this mess in the first place?'


He pulled out from his pocket, something small and jingly. The swimming pool keys.


I remained silent as I tried to digest what he was trying to say.


'Your dear Viraat is going to be in deep trouble now Maanvi. What will are you going to do, I wonder? No one in this batch is going to testify for Viraat, of that I'm sure. The only one who will, is the one who murdered Rahul, which is you.'


'Now, I'm sure you must be thinking of a hundred different ways to save Viraat from getting suspended from school and getting jailed for, I guess, a minimum of 14 years? His life will officially be over.'


I shivered at the thought of it.


'Instead of wasting time racking your brain, why don't you listen to the proposal I have for you? The one plan I'm sure will save Viraat from a life of utter nothingness and humiliation.'


'What is it?'


He let out a huge sigh and said, 'Dump him.'


'What?'


'Break up with him Maanvi. Tell him you lied to him. Tell him that you don't love him. Make him feel the same feeling of betrayal that I felt when I saw you two kissing. Hurt him the way you hurt me Maanvi.'


'And how is that going to save him?'


'If I know Viraat, he's going to storm out of this place as soon as you break up with him. I'll make sure the police don't reach this place before Viraat is gone. I will set the key on fire before things get worse. Even if they can't find Rahul's murderer, they won't find the keeper of the keys nor will they find any keys to being with.'


He put up a disgusting baby face and said, 'So Maanvi, what do you think? Either way, you've got to spend your life without him. I don't see why you should be so confused.'


---


'I'll do it. But how do I know for sure that you are going to fulfill your side of the bargain?'


'The moment he leaves, I set the key on fire. No-one will ever find out. Not the school authorities, not police.'


'Fine. Deal.'


---


No matter how much I tried, I couldn't forgive myself for what I had done that night. It had been my fault, right from the beginning. My fault! I had been responsible for the whole situations, I was the reason Rahul was dead, I was the reason Viraat could have been suspended and jailed; I was the reason Viraat's heart got broken. I couldn't bear the guilt any more. So I ran into the street, to run away from the hideous monster that I had become.


My arms groped forward to guide me when my tears started blocking my vision in the darkness. I ran until I ran out of breath and continued to run even after that. Then I couldn't run any more. I sank to my knees and began to cry harder. 

'VIRAAAT!' I screamed.



I suddenly felt strong arms around me. I turned and say Viraat standing by me, holding my arms in his. I bent my head to bury it in Viraat's shoulder, trembling in the darkness.


Whimpering like a small animal in a trap, I pushed myself closer to him and said in a choked voice, 'I'm sorry Viraat! I'm so sorry!'


I felt myself being pulled up to him, his grip around me strong and tight. It was a strange feeling in this pitch-black night, in the middle of nowhere, where not even the light of the moon cast any illumination. His hands massaged my back and I pulled him closer.


'Maanvi,' he said. 'You are, and always have been, my dream.' Saying so, he cupped my face and brought it up to his and bit my lips. Tears sprang from my eyes and I bit my lip to stop myself from howling at the bright pain.


There was a lot of pain in that kiss. There was so much hurt in it. I felt tears rolling down the both of our faces. But, in that kiss, there was even more want. We both wanted to smother out that pain, to not have so many horrible things in the all too recent past; to just be normal, to do the types of things we were supposed to be dealing with had we been a normal couple.


---




Edited by ..Ankita.. - 22 November 2012 at 10:17pm

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abc456PranityanikkidollDOLLY_SHARMAAYARLINFairysaraaaliya172kinzvgaamary9053js1234arhifandebiinlvwithehmmbhchandana123.albatross.anu1989sha19ashni0905MadhuChowdaryX_LifeneghaRadharaday..BlueBird..jia123sagarmika17forever_youngJESNIAvirumanuhooriaaalicemathsapphhiregirl_rocksmystery75kulsum_virmanpreetipc...Juhi._ohsehun.kusharberryLet-It-Go.Anastasia.Cintila.Sumi.

lovelife. IF-Sizzlerz
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Joined: 17 December 2011
Posts: 12528

Posted: 22 November 2012 at 10:51pm | IP Logged
This is Awesome Ankita!
Such a long update!

Thanks for the PM!

Preetha:D

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..Ankita..

aaliya172 Groupbie
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Joined: 07 November 2012
Posts: 184

Posted: 22 November 2012 at 10:58pm | IP Logged
ankita i love your story very much
two broken hearts, will they be united?
cant wait to see what happens next
continue soon
thanks for the pm

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..Ankita..

preetipc IF-Rockerz
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Joined: 13 March 2012
Posts: 6908

Posted: 22 November 2012 at 11:02pm | IP Logged
Loved the update .so intense.Loved the lines,"When you feel like you need to cry, when you want to just get it out, relieve some of the pressure from the inside - that is true pain. Because no matter how hard you try or how bad you want to, you can't. That pain just stays in place.".Love how beautifully every emotions are portrayed.Thanks for the pm.


Edited by preetipc - 23 November 2012 at 1:05am

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..Ankita..

.Sumi. IF-Stunnerz
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Posted: 22 November 2012 at 11:35pm | IP Logged
Anki uff took a long time to finsih it LOL
Nice one...thnx for d PM
naina927 IF-Sizzlerz
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Posts: 13786

Posted: 23 November 2012 at 1:06am | IP Logged
thank you soo much for the pm ankita...
and coming to the update, it was fab...
happy to know that manvi broke virat's heart just to save his life...
she really loves him... happy to know it...

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preetipc

shona9 Senior Member
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Joined: 17 October 2010
Posts: 240

Posted: 23 November 2012 at 3:03am | IP Logged

waiting for virat's revenge part...!!!!!

and that steve i feel lyk killing him...
thanks for the pm...
.Anastasia. IF-Sizzlerz
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Joined: 16 September 2011
Posts: 13502

Posted: 23 November 2012 at 3:28am | IP Logged
it was dam good
finally i guess everything sort out 
rofl when i read chap 4 i was dam confused i mixed up ur two stories 
then i had read from starting
rofl 

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..Ankita..

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