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Emotional Surrogacy or Nidhi's Insecurities?

ApoorvaFan Goldie
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Posted: 03 September 2012 at 3:50am | IP Logged
I read Sujatha's post about surrogacy. Did not plunge into those threads because I do not want to hijack her threads :)
 
What I gathered now is the great writer is driving this thought that Ashu has a strong need to parent and he has chosen Mallika's unborn as the means.
 
But unfortunately when I tried to analyze, what I felt is, normal viewers never got this concept of Ashu's subconscious desire. Instead what they understand is, Nidhi is feeling insecure with Mallika's presence and she has voiced her fears mixing up with her guilt/insecurity of not accepting for motherhood immediately.
 
I am talking about normal TV viewers who do not come on to Forums or understand writer's interpretations from his messages.
 
The built up incidents shown about Anji voicing the same cause also has not impacted common viewers. They are feeling Anji has voiced Nidhi's view.
 
What was annoying is Nidhi was kamchor and was projected as not serious about career type. She did not even get into serious working mode when her father fell ill. That kind of a girl, without serious external influence (eg: She getting to know about her Nana's wish for her mom etc), has become too serious about her career suddenly and rejects motherhood.
 
Common viewers who do not follow his FB or his interpretations did not catch what he wants to convey but they understood it differently. If the director of the show also has a FB page, I really would like to ask him, did he understand what writer wanted and pictured it that way or not. Because lot many times, writers think one thing and the directors understand it differently.
 
Or it could be, most common viewers have more soft spot and empathy for the character of Ashutosh than Nidhi so they are still giving him benefit of doubt...
 
Note: I spoke to 2 different family members of mine who are in India, watch this show, 40+  women working in professional environments. They do not follow the forum or any other internet news. This analysis is what I gathered from them.
 
Now my question is, if you did not read/understand KPJi's words, what you got by seeing the show?
 
Its very interesting because thanks to FB, we understand what wrtier is trying to convey. This kind of a chance is very rare. We never know what the CV wants to convey in any other show. So this show becomes a great case study for understanding human interpretations.
 


Edited by ApoorvaFan - 03 September 2012 at 3:54am

mudraswathi IF-Stunnerz
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Posted: 03 September 2012 at 4:09am | IP Logged

A very good post again Af.. my like is on Strike ...Ouch

I am a below normal viewer and it takes atleast 20 posts for me if someone is making fun of me on my face... So, no possibility of reading some story teller's inner meanings/ interpreted by some other creative team...

what you said about your relatives applies to me too... I have taken what Anji said is what going in her mind, may be Nidhi too thinks that way... I couldnt have imagined even in my dreams that this is the circus of Ashutosh's sub-sub-sub-conscious mind

Now my question is, if you did not read/understand KPJi's words, what you got by seeing the show?

I have expressed in simple terms through  'Me and My ET' ...both are counterparts to what-you-see-is-what-you-get...

Many times I thought the writer is making spoofs of his own characters (Nidhi's sudden career bug / Ashutosh's child bug)... and my hands itched so much to stage a dharna at his wall ...and ask him...

'aap kyon mere key board pe laat maarte ho... you please create your characters aur hum hain yeha to break them... oops... make spoofs for them'



Edited by mudraswathi - 03 September 2012 at 4:27am

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Posted: 03 September 2012 at 4:29am | IP Logged
You know, AF, despite my constant interaction with KPji, his response today zapped me...

I had put down Ashtuosh's reaction to Mallika to humaneness for one and the normal paternal or maternal instinct any human being experiences when faced with a vulnerable child...when my maid was heavily pregnant and lost her home in the rains, we brought her to live with us, My husband ad I tried to take care of her needs becasue she did not have her family around her then. Her husband had abandoned her and her family had already deserted her becasue she married against their will. We could hardly let her suffer in the rains and felt morally obligated to help her. My husband ran out to rhe rain to get her medicines, ran her to the hosptial in the rain when it was required etc. As a father himself, he knew that this woman needed to be cared for and did just that. While it was a paternal response at one level, I would say the response included the mother and child. He felt paternal towards both of them since there was nobody to care for them. Now, I cannot possibly imagine this to be a case of vicariously experiencing parenthood, since we already have kids.

However, I thought what Ashutosh was doing was pretty much the same. He could not find it in himself to hold a grudge against this woman who had wronged his wife badly simply because she was far too physically and emotionally vulnerable. And he felt a rather normal paternal response to the child. Much like we would feel when faced with a vulnerable kid, dog or cat!

After this morning's explicit explanation, I understand that he is going the route of emotional surrogacy. I would never have taken it to that extreme as a viewer unless i had not heard it from him

On Nidhi, what you have outlined is what any normal person would understand and read it as. She is insecure about Mallika and somewhere there is guilt because she has prioritized career over family.The kind of guilt that all of us women feel at different points in time!

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mudraswathi IF-Stunnerz
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Posted: 03 September 2012 at 4:40am | IP Logged
@ Sujatha

Thanks for quoting your reallife experience.
I have observed that, you have reacted to your maid's situation because she has literally no support... relatives / money/shelter

But, Mallika is not... Even Nidhi pointed out this... she has help (Maxi) and money...atleast Ashutosh has provided that much... Now is it necessary for anybody to bring the situation to break his own house??

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Posted: 03 September 2012 at 4:43am | IP Logged
Originally posted by mudraswathi

@ Sujatha

Thanks for quoting your reallife experience.
I have observed that, you have reacted to your maid's situation because she has literally no support... relatives / money/shelter

But, Mallika is not... Even Nidhi pointed out this... she has help (Maxi) and money...atleast Ashutosh has provided that much... Now is it necessary for anybody to bring the situation to break his own house??


Mudra...taking a woman to a hospital is hardly breaking your marriage...you do not prescribe limits on help...am sorry but I do not agree that AShutosh's actions were wrong at a human level...I may not endorse him as a husband but i would not have misunderstood my husband helping his ex  if the circumstances had been similar...and yes, even if she had tried to kill me...!


Edited by Sujatha.rao - 03 September 2012 at 4:42am

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Posted: 03 September 2012 at 4:51am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Sujatha.rao


Mudra...taking a woman to a hospital is hardly breaking your marriage...you do not prescribe limits on help...am sorry but I do not agree that AShutosh's actions were wrong at a human level...I may not endorse him as a husband but i would not have misunderstood my husband helping his ex  if the circumstances had been similar...and yes, even if she had tried to kill me...!


@bold

Isnt it what he did??

BTW, I see some change in the direction..so not commenting any...Smile

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Posted: 03 September 2012 at 5:00am | IP Logged
Originally posted by mudraswathi

Originally posted by Sujatha.rao


Mudra...taking a woman to a hospital is hardly breaking your marriage...you do not prescribe limits on help...am sorry but I do not agree that AShutosh's actions were wrong at a human level...I may not endorse him as a husband but i would not have misunderstood my husband helping his ex  if the circumstances had been similar...and yes, even if she had tried to kill me...!


@bold

Isnt it what he did??

BTW, I see some change in the direction..so not commenting any...Smile



I don't think so...his intention was certainly not that...

And yes, a debate on the right or wrong of Ashutosh's actions is not the point of this post...so I think it is better we stick to what she wants to discuss!

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Posted: 03 September 2012 at 5:09am | IP Logged
i am a normal person and normal watcher of the show,and really not understand kpji's complicate explanation,Nidhi faced all the hurdles for ashu and ashu always disappoointed her and us also.[as a husband not as a dr]and now suddenly he is feeling sympathy for her bec she is preg.Nidhi is not insecure but she understood mallika's intention.and after knowing mallika's preg she told ashutosh not to interpere in that matter,she also told ashu why he get back her in kgh?though she is a woman,and mallika tried to to kill her,she don't want mallika's interpere.and as surrogecy concern we also as a normal viewrs don't want ashu and nidhi to adopt or feeling for mallika'a baby.bec we saw there are so many parents who earn their benefit on the name of children,and mallika is one of them.

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