She smiled as she remembered how he had insisted that she tried it on that night itself when he had first brought it home, & she had deterred him after much negotiations, which eventually landed her in a bigger soup, as she distinctly remembered how Mamiji had found out their quilt discarded on the rooftop the next morning as a consequence of Arnavji's night out on the roof & how the whole household had teased her, only her, mercilessly.
Two hours later, the Haldi was on full swing under a small canopy set on the small open space off the road beside Buaji's house, placing almost 50 women inside & Khushi was fluttering from here to there like the creature her Buaji called her after, Titaaliya or butterfly! Buaji & her Amma tried several times to calm her down by reminding her about her pregnancy, but Khushi was just bubbling with happiness & excitement from inside. She was too exhillarated to take it easy today, Khushi thought as gobbled on three laddoos at once, holding them up to her mouth with both her hands. Just then she felt a collapsing blow on the side of her right shoulder from below, & as she turned with her lips & chin smeared with grains of laddo, she saw Buaji standing there clutching her head with both her hands & Payal beside her trying to calm her down.
"Buaji!!!" Khushi whined, trying to soothe her shoulder still stinging from the blow by rubbing her laddoo covered chin on it as her hands were still full of laddoos. Buaji's eyes widened further at the action & her mouth fell open wide, gaping at her niece's antiques, & then she raised her hand again to slap Khushi's chin away, but thankfully Payal gripped her hand in time & deterred her.
But Payal couldn't stop Buaji's yelling, which issued in full force at Khushi, "Hai re Nandkissore. Sanka devi, what? What are you doing? People are coming & asking me, Madhumati, how did you find such good husbands for your nieces? How did you find such good in-laws for your nieces? & what do I tell them? That, my nieces are jewels, & their in-laws & husbands are really the lucky ones here to get such nice, well-bred girls as their daughters-in-law & wives. & THEN, I turn to show them how well mannered my nieces are & see you stuffing your mouth with laddoos, like you're fearing there would be 'laddoo-famine' in the world soon & you're trying to store as many of them as you can in your stomach! GLUTTON!" Buaji rested her hands on her hips & breathed out fire in her anger at being embarrassed in front of her own in-laws.
Khushi looked at her Buaji sheepishly & tried to say with her mouth still full of laddoos, "Buaji, they are so tasty! Here, you have some too." & she offered some of the half-eaten ones from her own palms. At this Buaji's eyes rounded further & Payal hastily came & turned Khushi away form Buaji & took her to a secluded corner & sat her down in one of the many empty chairs there. Then she too sat beside Khushi & started dusting Khushi's chin with the pallu of her saree fondly, a slight smile playing at her lips. Then she motioned towards Khushi to finish eating the remaining laddoos & with a grateful look & gleeful smile in her direction, Khushi obliged. Once she was done Payal tugged her hand & stood her up, saying, "Now, go, run along home & wipe your hands, mouth, chin.. & your nose too. Khushi, you are just...!! Anyways, go now. Oh, & please bring the big red bowl of Haldi that I have kept over the kitchen counter while you're there. There's still plenty here, but what use would it be after the function is over anyways. Might as well use it here to smear over each other, right?" Se asked, dancing her eyebrows at a worried looking Khushi, as she knew Khushi planned to go back to Shantivan after the function was over & she didn't want to get smeared all over with Haldi before her husband had a chance to admire her in this saree. Khushi made a face at her Jiji & started in the direction of Buaji's house once she was out of the canopy.
Once she was at Buaji's house, she wiped her face, washed her hands & grabbed the big bowl full of Haldi to go back to the fuction as soon as possible. Khushi Kumari Gupta, whether before or after she was Singh Raizada, didn't like the idea of a function going around without her being a part of it. As she was hastily crossing the threshhold of the main door of Buaji's house, her steps got somewhat entangled in the pleats of her saree & she couldn't keep the balance of the heavy bowl in her hand & it fell with a dull, but loud thud, just an inch away from her feet & the Haldi from it was smeared everywhere around. & all over her saree too. Khushi let out a loud gasp as she saw the whole of her saree from below her knees were spattered with big blotches of Haldi & she felt tears prickling her eyes.
In retrospect, Khushi would probably agree that hormones had a big role to play in it, but at that moment seeing her saree all ruined, Khushi felt the hot tears starting to stream down her cheeks. This was something that always happened to her. Whenever she felt everything would be alright in a moment, everything would be fine between herself & her Arnavji, she did something hasty & rash & she herself smeared Haldi all over her sweet perfect life! Khushi crouched down before the mess in the floor as she started to weep in earnest, she did this that day too. Arnavji fought for her & she fought with Arnavji. At this thought she started to cry with renewed vigor, now hiccuping with the force of her emotions leaning against the door frame. She not only distanced herself from him, she also distanced their baby from her father. Khushi felt so wretched at this thought, that without thinking about anything else, she started scooping up Haldi from the large puddle before her & store it in one of the bigger broken pieces of the bowl, just for the sake of doing something & stopping the self-damning train of her thoughts.
It was at that moment that she heard it. The powerful revving sound of the engine & a car then coming to halt near Buaji's gate. Both the sounds were achingly familiar to Khushi. She stood up shaking a little with sobs & with anticipation, & saw through tear filled eyes, her husband, immaculately dressed in a three piece pin-striped suit, looking extremely well-groomed & dapper, the exact opposite of her at that moment, got out from behind the driving wheel & then stood there, not even closing the car door immediately. He just stood there for a couple of minutes, staring at her, looking up & down her full form, taking in the whole mess around her. Then he tore his eyes form her, looked towards the lighted canopy, the noise of songs & chatters coming out from it, & again looked at her, his eyes questioning silently, what are you doing here, away from the singing & dancing & noise you so love, & standing here crying in the middle of this big puddle of mess?
& it was this question in his eyes that made Khushi move. She slowly bypassed the puddle & as she did so her steps gained pace. She saw him slamming the car door shut & take a few steps towards her, getiing inside the fence of Buaji's house & then he hesitated & just stood there looking worriedly unsure. Khushi let out a small cry as fresh tears started falling from her eyes & she broke into a run. Upon reaching him, she litterally jumped on him, throwing her arms around his shoulders,clutching his head with her forearms to her, her hands, crossed behind his head, not touching him as they were smeared with Haldi. & she cried hard. The sobs raking her full body. She cried apologetically, complainingly, angrily, & then just sadly. & lasty, she cried just because she couldn't seem to stop it. & all this while, her husband kept her gathered close to his chest, with both his hands rubbing her back soothingly, not trying to stop her, not even saying a word. He just let her get it all out.
Then when after what seemed like ages Khushi didn't show any signs of slowing down, & waves after waves of sobs just kept coming out of her as she clutched on to his shoulder with all her might, Arnav decided to at least try leashing some of the flow, as he could feel her going gradually limp in the circle of his arms. He slowly guided his hands to her shoulders & gripping them tightly he tried to gently move her away from him. But what Khushi derived from his gesture only she knew, because she only clutched on to him tighter & started rubbing her face on his shoulder in a negative motion, as if asking him not to part her from his warmth. & then lifting her face up, she pressed short kisses starting from his temple down to his jawline. Arnav could feel her wet, damp cheeks grazing his skin & he grasped her head by one hand & pressed his cheek roughly against hers, & then rubbed gently, trying to wipe some of the dampness away. & then maintaining his strong hold on her head, he forced her to back up, so that he could see her face properly.
Her face was red, especially her nose. There were blotches of tears on her cheeks, & she looked almost breathtakingly beautiful to Arnav. Although he hated it when she cried, he had also noticed that, when due to crying not just the tip, but the whole length of her nose became all red & her cheeks looked flushed with rosy hue, he almost always had difficulty tearing his eyes away from her face. She must have gotten ready pretty fussily for the function, he noted, but all that crying had left her careful ministration of cosmetics in a mess. Her mascara had started to run, her cheeks were bare of any other color except the soft flush due to all the rubbing she had done, & the soft pink lipstick she had applied now barely visible, but her lips looked deep red as a result of her merciless biting during her sobs. Her ears looked reddish too, probably from the weight of those very heavy looking ridiculously ornate Jhumkas, & the gold strings attached to the Jhumkas which were pinned to the bun on the back of her head had tugged strands of hair from her bun free & looked about to come off. Then his eyes trailed down, & he saw how her whole saree was ruined with Haldi stains from knee down & in the process of jumping on him, she had also ruined his new Baubridge & Kay ensemble's pants!
Khushi followed his eyes to his pants too, & upon seeing the irredeemable state that they were, Khushi gasped loudly & tried to distance herself from him by pushing at his chest & before Arnav could stop her by clutching her hand, she put it over his heart & made an imprint of her hand constructed in Haldi on his Jacket. Four pair of eyes simultaneously stared at the Haldi clad hand resting on the obviously expensive looking Jacket for a couple of seconds, & then they looked up at the same time to gaze into each other, one registering guilty shock, the other unsurprised mirth. Khushi felt like bursting into tears again, nothing was going according to her plan today. She wanted to be at her seductive best tonight when they met again after 3 whole days! & here she was! After she had ruined her own saree, which was a special gift from her husband, she had gone on to ruin his obviously new, obviously over-priced suit too. Die Khushi, DIE! She berated under herself under her breath, & hadn't realized she had been loud enough for him to hear it over, until she heard him snap in an irritated voice, "Shut up, Khushi! Don't just say anything!" With that he bent & unceremoniously picked her up in his arms, with Khushi now forced to hold onto his shoulders with her dirty hands, & started purposefully striding towards Buaji's house.
Khushi didn't say anything else, she just hold onto him & stared at his face, examining it closely. His face looked washed-out, with prominent dark rings around his eyes. As Khushi saw how deep those circles were under the glare of lights inside Buaji's house, she felt a pang of guilt in her heart. It was her responsibility to keep him happy, since the day he had handed his whole life to her for her perusal with his proclamation of love. & she hadn't even called him once in the past three days. She came out of her musings, when she felt him sit her down on the counter beside the kitchen sink. Then with a half muttered, "Stay here!", he went away towards her room & came back in minutes with a towel draped over his right shoulder.
Arnav gently took her hands in his own & openning the tap, he held her hands under the jets of water & started rubbing the Haldi off from both of her hands. Khushi was looking down at his hands rubbing her own free of stain without blinking, when she felt his eyes look up & examine her face critically, just like she had done minutes ago. She held her breath as she knew he wouldn't miss anything. She couldn't hide anyhting from him. She kept her eyes trained downwards, when she heard him ask dryly, "Did you trip over the threshold?" She refused to look up & just nodded in a jerky movement. Arnav turned off the tap, having washed her hands up thoroughly, & started wiping them with the towel. Then suddenly jerking her hands upward, still covered in the towel in his hands, he forced her to look up at him. His eyes searched her face as he asked, "Did you hurt yourself anywhere? Are you alright?" Khushi, unable to release her eyes from the hold of his look, barely shook her head in a 'No', & then immediately nodded in a 'Yes'. Then realizing the ridiculousness of her actions, she licked her lips & finally opened them to speak.
"I didn't hurt myself. The bowl slipped from my hand & broke, that's it. I am alright." While talking she realized how croaked she sounded, almost like a frog, & her throat hurt too. Then she let out small sudden scream as she saw him bend slightly as she felt him grabbing her feet in one hand, then in one swift movement turned her 90 degrees on the counter & placed her feet before her over the counter-top. The splatters of Haldi on her saree was by now sticking to it as they were dried up after all the water was soaked by the fabric. There were also much less Haldi smeared on her feet than she thought it would be as she was wearing a pair Mojri. Arnav took off the shoes & started wiping her feet with the towel after wetting a corner of it. Then still concentrating on her feet, he asked in low voice, "Why were you crying like that then? Wanted to make me feel more guilty than I already do?" he ended with a slightly accusing note in his voice.
Khushi immediately looked up at him, trying to read his expression, but he was looking down at her feet with almost infuriating concentration. His lack of reaction compelled her to show some & she shook her head as she almost yelled, "NO. No! I was.. I cried because... Because I spilled Haldi all over myself, all over my life.. All over us. I ruined everything, Arnavji. I shouldn't have. But I runied everything!" She sounded wretched by the time she stopped & as she looked up at Arnav, who was by now finished with cleaning her feet & was looking at her searchingly, she knew he understood exactly what Haldi she was talking about. Then Arnav threw the towel down beside her on the counter & without any word pulled her closer by tugging at her waist & cupped both her cheeks with his hands, & said in a firm voice, "You ruined nothing. Nothing is ruined. & if you feel something is ruined, just tell me what it is, & I promise you, I will make it right."
Khushi would have wept with happiness at that moment if she had any energy left, or for that matter, anymore tears left. Instead she just clutched his hands with her own & asked in a weak voice, "I thought you were very angry. Like you've never been after our wedding. You didn't even call me in three whole days!" Khushi almost wailed by the end in her despair. & Arnav just cupped her cheeks more firmly & kissed her eyelids one by one in an attempt to calm her down, & then said with his lips against the bindi on her forehead, "& I thought you left me. Just like I asked you to. I thought you took my word for it & both of you left me to rot alone." He felt Khushi's hands clenching over his own & she pulled back instead of his resistance to keep her against himself & shook her head rapidly.
"No!" the word was almost wrenched out of her. "I didn't leave you! I was coming here anyways! You knew it. I told you days ago! I didn't.. I would never! Would I ever leave you?! How could you even thing that I would?" & when her husband didn't even try to answer any of her questions, but just looked at her helplessly, she read the answer in his eyes. The uncertainty & the fear that still resided somewhere in him that, someday their good luck would run out. Someday they would both somehow drive each other away. Someday those frequent, violent, passionate quarrels of theirs would hurt one of them so much, that the other would just give up on the relationship at all. & most of all he feared that it would be his words that would drive her away, as even he knew that he crossed all limits when anger took over him. As soon as Khushi saw these fears written too clearly for her to see in his eyes, with an anguished cry of "Arnavji" she threw her arms around him & hugged him as tightly to her as she could, chanting 'never never never never ever' repeatedly under her breath.
Then when she felt Arnav's hands rubbing her back soothingly, she pulled back from the embrace & said hurriedly, "Let's go home. Now. Right now. I wanna go home this instance." Arnav looked at her a bit surprized at her sudden hurriedness, then he said as if reasoning with a small child, "We will. In a minute. Let me first inform Buaji that I am taking you home." Then he suddenly leaned in & took her lips in a kiss that he had intended at first as a kind of greeting, gentle & a way of getting themselves familiar again with the taste of each other, then the tempo soon changed as their longing from the past three days took the driving wheel & within seconds Khushi felt she could barely keep up with his demanding lips & his roaming hands. Hence, she just gave in. She entangled her left hand through the hair on his nape & let her body relax to welcome his caressing hands. Then she felt his hand sliding over the bare expanse of her waist, & suddenly, all too soon, he pulled back despite her resistance.
Khushi moaned her disappointment agianst his lips, & heard him say quitely, "You're much too thin. You should at least start to grow a bump or something. How is my kiddo?" Khushi sharply pulled back before he had even finished speaking. Her mind slowly registered two things. The first being he had said MY kiddo. & the second one was, she now had to tell him about the visit to Dr Jain's clinic in the morning, & she feared his reaction wasn't gonna be pretty. She took a deep calming breath before saying off-handedly, laughing a little for better effect, "You know, Dr Jain was saying this too in the morning, when I went to see her." She saw the alert look that immediately came in his eyes. But he knew his wife pretty good by now too. So he casually stroked her cheek & asked with a flippant voice, "She did? Why did you go there today? I know for a fact today wasn't the date of your scheduled normal check-up. Anything I should know about, Biwi?" & just because Khushi knew him so well, she wasn't decieved even for a moment into thinking that he was calm or relaxed.
She smiled at him sweetly & tried to explain before he could burst out at her again, "Wo Arnavji. I should have drunk more fluids. Well, you know when the baby inside grows, a little bit of pain is normal." At Arnav's hard sceptical look, she hastily went on before he could intervene, "Seriously she did say it. & I experienced a little bit of pain.." but as she saw Arnav's thunderous expression, she quickly amended, "Not pain. Discomfort actually. & so we visited doctorji. & she said everything was fine after the sonography. & actually.."
Khushi was stunned into silence as suddenly her face was cupped in an intense grip by her husband & she knew they weren't even bothering about pretences of calm now as she saw her husband's face inches away from hers. She felt his hot breath hissing on her face as he rasped, "Khushi, get this straight. I am responsible for you. & I am responsible for kiddo. You guys are my life. & when i fail to fulfill my responsibility or when I am deterred from fulfilling my responsibility, it makes me feel helpless & unworthy. Unworthy of you, your love & of the happiness you're about to shower into our lives. Don't ever do this to me.Don't ever try to disconnect me like this from you or from kiddo. Khushi, you guys are my life! I want you to promise me, that if ever there is something serious going on with my life, you'll instantly let me know. Do you get it?" By the time he was finished, Khushi felt so guilty that she looked about to cry.
Looking at her expression, Arnav slackened his grip & stroked her cheek with his thumb. "It's alright. It's my fault that I ever let you get out of my sight in the first place." Then he smiled a little naughtily, & with a tongue in cheek said conspiratorily, "By the way, I should let you know, Mrs. Raizada, I want my baby to be a girl."
But if he expected some astonished or incredulous reaction from his wife, he was disappointed, because suddenly his wife looked lively, her eyes twinkling with laughter & she practically bubbled with something akin to happiness mingled with barely contained excitement. Khushi circled his neck with both her arms smiling widely & pulled him closer to her & almost wishpered as if sharing a secret, "Well, guess what, Mr. Raizada. YOU'RE GETTING ONE!"
