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TS: My Heart Will Go On (upd p.7) NOTE p.11

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-Grace-

IF-Rockerz

-Grace-

Joined: 06 June 2008

Posts: 8308

Posted: 30 August 2012 at 9:44pm | IP Logged

Hi Guys!

Started this os a while ago finally completed it, don't know what this is just wrote as it came 

PMs Later

*********************************************************************

His eyes stood still as he clutched the letter tightly in his hands deciding whether to open it or not, for it may expose something he would not be able to comprehend.

 

He finally decided he had to read it, he needed to read it. The only noise that could be heard in the dark room with the moon's natural spotlight on Arnav and the letter he held was the swooshing of the winds and the thudding of his heart that he felt like would explode breaking his rib cage any minute.

 

Slowly opening the letter his hands shivered as to what he would see next, he had an idea of what it contained but also had a tiny hope for it to be an illusion.

 

As he began reading, the soft fabric of the dull teal colored curtains caressed his cheeks, the winds swooshing harder encouraging him to read further.

 

Dear Arnav,

By the time you get this letter you will already know that I have left.

 

That was it. The tiny hope buried itself under the pieces of his broken heart.

I have left.  

He could imagine the pain she must have gone through to write that, his tear ducts could hold no longer and his eyes welled up.

 

Please don't think that I left because I hate you or wanted to defeat you. I left because my leave would be in the favor of everyone.

 

Just like always, she had put others above self. Why can't she be selfish for once? For a change

His mind wondered.

 

I think it would be  in everyone's benefit if I left.

Besides our marriage wasn't meant to be, it was us who were mending the destiny but now Im tired. Im tired of fighting every breathing second. Im tired of the life I have been living. Im tired of being responsible for every single problem.

 

I know after reading this you will come looking for me but please don't. I insist.

I know you love me, and know that I love you too, but soon you will get used to it and then Di can find a suitable wife for you, please don't refuse her she'll be hurt.

 

And she thinks he will be able to move on? Marry someone else? Get her replaced?

His heart clenched in pain as he realized what she thought of her importance in his life. Is that all?

 

 

Now don't become the angry young man you love to be.

Take your medicines on time, don't eat out and be sure to smile it's a bigger healer than you think

 

I will definitely miss your What The's

Take Care,

Khushi.

 

 

Uncontrollable flow of tears rolled down his cheeks as he finished reading the letter.

A shiver ran down his spine and the letter fell from the shivering hands.

As they say you don't realize the importance of something until its gone. That is exactly what happened with him. He did not realize what an essential she was to his existence until she left him. And this time he knew he would not find her, and how hurt she must have been to take such a big step.

 

His knees gave away and he fell down on them crashing against the marble floor.

He sat there still, tears rolling down without a blink he stared into empty space ahead of him. His life seemed like it has stopped and he would forever be in this trance.

 

Despite the constant knockings on the door by the family members every noise sounded like a distant blur

 

All he remembered was that she had left him, all due to his misjudgments. Only if he had taken the right step at the right time.

 

Hours passed by.

Days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months and soon it was her birth day.

 

Today he remembered, for once he remembered the date of something other than a business deal, an expiration of a contract, a schedule of a conference. He remembered her birth day. The day this selfless creature was born. The day fate decided to punish her by letting her being born in this world, and more so by letting her path intersect with his.

 

Without a second thought he drove at the speed of a rocket in the direction of Laxmi Nagar, all those memories came flooding into his mind.

 

He had forcefully stuffed the cake into her mouth after forcefully making her cut it.

She vowed she would do the same on his birth day. Do those exact things that he hated or that caused his allergies to react.

He smiled. A genuine one in a long time.

 

Tears rolled down his cheeks from the reddened eyes covered by a few strands of hair wetted in sweat.

 

His grip on the steering got tighter as her image refused to leave his mind.

The car came to a screech and he stepped out of his SUV banging the door shut. He did not no how to express his hurt, his pain, his sadness, and anger on himself thereby it came out as frustration on the objects around him.

 

However, he did know where the best place would be for him to go on this day, on her birthday.

 

Ever since Khushi left, Buaji had understood his pain even though she knew he was mostly responsible for her leave, but she also knew how genuinely sorry he was and how alone he now felt.

He often came to Laxmi Nagar to talk to Buaji and it gave him a sense of belonging, belonging with her.

 

Bauji and Amma had left for Lukhnow for Bauji's new sweet shop leaving Buaji all alone here. Arnav would often come here for evening teas and the two would chit chat until dinner.

 

Buaji's home and her warm loving personality often made him feel better but today nothing would do the magic.

He took giant steps and reached her room in no time, not even paying attention to the surroundings or a formal greeting to Buaji. She understood that he needed to be alone and didn't bother him with any of the random ramblings.

 

The cool breeze of the winter hit his face as it passed by the light pink curtains flowing in every direction.

He felt the chan chan of her symbolic anklets even though his mind spoke otherwise.

 

"I will apply the balm you sit on the bed"

"no you want me to dance right I'll dance"

"just sit down"

 

he rubbed the balm on her ankle and the silver chain around it peeked from under the chudidaar.

 

"they are beautiful"

he said looking directly into her eyes

 

The sweet noise of the anklet let him know that she was fine, just fine. Life was moving without him too, and she was coping, just fine.

 

Every night in my dreams
I see you, I feel you
That is how I know you go on
Far across the distance
And spaces Between us
You have come to show you go on

 

He smiled at the memory as the tear rolled down his cheek.

 

He walked over the bed and heard it creak. The same creaking noise when it used to make when she would sleep on it, in hertaekwondo poses.

 

He carried her to the bed and placed her on her side while she still held on to his shirt as if never wanting to let go.

He removed her hand from his shirt only to find her holding on to his other hand tightly under her cheek in her sleep

He smiled and settled in with her, on his side, holding her hand as per his habit.

 

He smoothed out the creases on her side, feeling her presence, feeling her warmth

 


Near, far, wherever you are
I believe that the heart does go on
Once more you open the door
And you're here in my heart and
My heart will go on and on


 

Why did she have to leave? He was Arnav Singh Raizada and he would make sure he finds her.

No, dammit, no he cant.

 

I know after reading this you will come looking for me but please don't. I insist.

 

But he would make sure she remains alive in his memories, forever engraved. No he would not let anyone take her place,

No Khushi,  this is not something that I can do, Im sorry but this wish of yours cannot be fulfilled.

He thought.


Love can touch us one time
And last for a lifetime
And never let go 'til 
we're gone

 

Never will he marry someone else and give her the place that only belonged to her.


Love was when I loved you
One true time I hold to
In my life we'll always 
go on



He walked over to the fairy lights and the poster of Salman Khan and remembered the night of the New Year.

 

She was so excited, he could feel it in the dark.

Holding the jalebi in her hand she counted seconds before the clock struck 12

At the ding of the clock she squealed in delight and turned the lights on, screaming "Happy New Year"

 

Her big brown eyes, turned even wider at the glimpse of him.

Inside he was smiling, he was laughing, he was wishing her a new year too but from the outside he wore the mask of ASR.

 

At that time he pretended to run away from her, get out of her house, go as far as possible, but now he was willing to pay any price just to bring that same spirit back.

 

Even though Khushi was not here with him right now, he could feel her heart beating right beside his, and that was enough for him to take a sigh of relief, that she was fine.


Near, far, wherever you are
I believe that the heart does go on
Once more you open the door
And you're here in my heart and
My heart will go on and on



 

No matter what, together or separated they will always remain one.

He won't forget her and she forgetting him, he won't let that happen.

They physically may not be together but the souls always will be. He remembered her birth day and somewhere in the world she must be celebrating it too, with the feeling of contentment that he remembered it too.

 

Walking to the wall which held Khushi's photo frame he ran his hand over her smiling face and whispered

"Happy Birth Day"


You're here, there's nothing I fear
And I know that my heart will go on
We'll stay forever this way
You are safe in my heart and
My heart will go on and on 

 

____________

 



Edited by -Grace- - 05 January 2013 at 4:13pm

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OnlyHope

IF-Stunnerz

OnlyHope

Joined: 20 January 2005

Posts: 46160

Posted: 30 August 2012 at 9:44pm | IP Logged

So I'm reading just the part with the letter and I'm already crying..GODDD...why Iqraaa..

You don't realize the importance of something until its gone.
HOW true. So so so true. Sighhh...
 
HOLD ON...
His knees gave away and he fell down on them
The ALMOST exact description I had..literally..in my OS..darnnn! I give up. I'm not even continuing that one anymore :P

He smiled. A genuine one in a long time.

How beautiful is a genuine smile, right? Especially one that gets through tears...

Ok...Telepathy or what?
He felt the chan chan of her symbolic anklets
This is creepy because this is EXACTLY what I had in my OS as well...the exact phrase..except the setting was in the RM instead of GH..
 
So I'm bawling here and this is insane...I was totally in Arnav's place and it was SAD...just beyond sad..how awful is the feeling of knowing that person is alive somewhere yet you just can't have them..you both love each other, but destiny definitely decides who you stay with..
 
Iqra, you know where this one's showing up now :P
PS- ILY for this <3


Edited by OnlyHope - 01 September 2012 at 12:58am

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Bonhi_ipkkndvandana1965-Grace-

kbtr

IF-Rockerz

kbtr

Joined: 24 July 2012

Posts: 9668

Posted: 30 August 2012 at 9:56pm | IP Logged
So sad!Cry

Layamaria

Groupbie

Layamaria

Joined: 18 August 2012

Posts: 144

Posted: 30 August 2012 at 10:05pm | IP Logged
Oh god.. Litrly cryng.. Plz cntnue.
Make them meet eachother plz. Otherwise i wil be cryng.. Cryng..cryng and cryng..
Also wndrful writng. I like it.

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-Grace-

shasru26

Goldie

shasru26

Joined: 02 May 2012

Posts: 1806

Posted: 30 August 2012 at 10:08pm | IP Logged
It

-Xpress-

IF-Sizzlerz

-Xpress-

Joined: 03 June 2010

Posts: 22751

Posted: 30 August 2012 at 10:13pm | IP Logged
This was really an emotional touching OS.. loved it.. great work







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-Grace-

devsum

IF-Dazzler

devsum

Joined: 25 November 2011

Posts: 3699

Posted: 30 August 2012 at 10:31pm | IP Logged
it's awesome...but couldn't we have a happy ending, please...

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-Grace-

Devilish.Angel

Senior Member

Devilish.Angel

Joined: 08 January 2012

Posts: 313

Posted: 31 August 2012 at 2:51am | IP Logged
wonderfull
made me cry

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-Grace-

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