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How should I treat a woman

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COWBOY59

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COWBOY59

Joined: 25 August 2012

Posts: 2

Posted: 25 August 2012 at 6:42am | IP Logged

I am an older man who has been hurt by women who say they love me then leave me. I am quick to engage with women but slow to trust.  I met a lady on a dating site, but not sure if I can love and commit to her. I need time. I have started a sexual relationship with this lady and we have taken our dating profiles down so I can get to know her. I am still meeting other women without the lady knowing. The lady says she is in love with me but I need time to grow into her. Is it right that I keep seeing other women while I work out if I can trust this woman and if she is stable and won't hurt me.  If the lady finds out that I am still meeting others can I expect her to get really angry with me and ditch me.  I am not sleeping with the other women but cannot commit to one woman only until I am sure. Is this fair on the lady to see others behind her back or what she doesn't know won't hurt her.

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Dexterkilaila

IF-Sizzlerz

Dexterkilaila

Joined: 16 June 2012

Posts: 17085

Posted: 25 August 2012 at 3:59pm | IP Logged
You need to man up and tell her you're seeing others as well. Its not fair that you sleep with her but also see others on the side. If it was just casual, it would be okay. But here, you have already initiated a sexual relationship so just be upfront and tell her you are still playing the field and cannot commit yet. If she is okay with that and still wants to continue the sexual relationship, great. If not, you should respect her wishes and end it and see other women. The key is to be upfront so you don't put yourself in messy situations. 

COWBOY59

Newbie

COWBOY59

Joined: 25 August 2012

Posts: 2

Posted: 25 August 2012 at 5:26pm | IP Logged
The lady at one stage did question my activities. She got extremely angry at me in text and email but I smoothed things and I told her that I am seeing emotionally safe women, one is my x girlfriend. I don't think she had the right to get angry at me. That has distanced me more from her as when people love someone they should not get angry, should they?

Dexterkilaila

IF-Sizzlerz

Dexterkilaila

Joined: 16 June 2012

Posts: 17085

Posted: 25 August 2012 at 5:30pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by COWBOY59

The lady at one stage did question my activities. She got extremely angry at me in text and email but I smoothed things and I told her that I am seeing emotionally safe women, one is my x girlfriend. I don't think she had the right to get angry at me. That has distanced me more from her as when people love someone they should not get angry, should they?


Well...you are sleeping with her so she has every right to question your "activities" if you act shady around her. 

I don't know what you are asking here. Seems like you are more confused about yourself than the women you see. You need to get your emotional health in check and only then focus on those women. Are you even mentally stable to be serial dating at this point? You seem very conflicted with the choices you have yourself made. 

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