Originally posted by Angel-likeDevil
To survive in the society, i.e. to pursue my career goal, to lead a good systematic lifestyle with nice dogmatic ethical values and principles so that my future son will lead a good life(afterall, a parent is the one that provides a nurturing environment for a new life - my future child), and to gain knowledge and grow in terms of personality.. "I" think "I" should be like a so-and-so character.. this character is the exterior layer of 'myself'.. full of ..IDK, it is like a container.. full of my character traiters, my psychological traits, my IQ, my emotional nature.
But, these^ look very superficial to me.. when I look deeper, to see what and who the hell am I, I dont get an answer. Is there really an answer? Or am I absolutely making no sense?
'Character traiters" .
I think that whenever one starts having the feeling of 'I should be like so and so' , it somewhere implies a resistance to the natural flow. After all, if you are thinking that you 'should' be like that, it simply means you are not happy with who are you are right now. And how can one use 'how I should be' to define one's present self?
Secondly, to think that having certain values and principles in yourself will make sure that your future son (you are already assuming it's going to be a boy? ) will have a good life is a reasoning which is based on many assumptions. One needs to be aware of those.
Anyways, finding the answer to "who am I" is a process, I guess. Each day you become something new, so how can the answer be static? Yeah, there's this thing we have heard about having a core inner being which is constant irrespective of the changes around us. But then, it's something which we have only heard, not yet experienced. So thinking that it 'must' be there with a hundred percent belief can lead to problems. It's meant to be found out, not believed.
Also, we have accumulated so many layers while trying to deal with the society that I guess coming back to oneself suddenly or even thinking that one will get the answer to who he is instantaneously is quite unreasonable. It has to be a slow process of peeling those layers, which actually starts with realizing that those layers exist ! It's sort of an enlightenment actually as one begins to observe himself, starts to realize that sometimes those things for which the society might appreciate him are actually meant to lead to his downfall in the long run. When these things start striking you, then change starts automatically within oneself and with each step, we come closer to the realization.
But all this is eventually, a hypothesis. A belief, Or at least, an extrapolation...