Discussion of the Day: Virtual Flirting - Page 6

Eggo, since we are discussing, let us remind ourselves not use big size fonts and capital letters (forum codes) because it seems like yelling and you probably don;t intend to do so 😳😳.
If you have complaints about threads closed, please reach the dev team as they would gladly deal with the issues. I would have no idea which thread you are particularly talking about, because I resolve the matter of personal attacks then and there and also adequately imply it to the poster when I feel offended 😃. Only when the poster continues, I report.

Originally posted by: EGGHATCHER

IN THE SPIRIT OF LETTING GO BYGONES .. SO I HOPE IN FUTURE NO ONE CRIES OVER DEV TEAMS SHOULDER BEFORE THEY RESOLVE IT AND DO SO HONESTLY REPEAT HONESTLY AND WITHOUT EMBELLISHING FACTS .. BECAUSE LIES SHOW UP GLARINGLY ONCE THE THREAD IS REVIEWED IMPARTIALLY BY A THIRD PARTY .. JUST MY POV ON RESTORING AMITY ALL AROUND

huh???
I don't know who exactly you are accusing of lying here. You once again can resolve the matter either via Dev team / via friendly communication.
I do think your capital letters and posting this message in response to my post hurls some of the comments at me.
😳 😳 hence I wrote. If they are hurled at me, I am willing to resolve them through the dev team/ through PM.   If the "lying comments" are hurled at someone else, please let them know 😊.

Last but not the least, in the spirit of bygones be bygones, I choose to IGNORE few.  I hope they respect my feelings and not quote me, if they have to, then atleast definitely not twist my words, and do not make personal attacks at me.   If they avoid the above, there will be no reporting required 😃😳.  I would love it too.. 😃.  Quoting me will not get a response from me either and I promise not even to read what they've said.
They are more than welcome to report me whenever they feel like.

Thanks and appreciate your time.

mermaid_QT Edited by mermaid_QT - 17 years ago

Originally posted by: mermaid_QT

A question to those who think flirting is always HARMLESS fun and others who are policing it are doing it just for being jealous 😃 -

Would you say the same if / when you have a teenage daughter who is flirting online with God knows who? Would you police / would you sit back and relax for not being jealous of her and her flirting partner? 😉

I am curious to know this!

flirting imo is not harmless. as they say, one thing can lead to another, including partners and by-standers getting jealous, of going down the garden path that runs nowhere etc. That said, it might still be preferable to more serious emotional/ physical attachments.

problem with moral policing as i see it is people running around with their heads chopped off each excercising their personal judgment. cant have folks individually and selectively apply their moral filters. that would quickly result in a lowest common denominator of expression, one where people are afraid of being rebuked and less willing to take the risk of engaging in spontaneous behavior. not much fun.

then, there's the question of verifying sincerity in the virtual domain. the person who is dispensing all that valuable advice could be trying to lure the kid by first establishing trust. dont a lot of pedophiles use the same bait and lure approach?

as for the question about the teenage daughter, i think the kid is already in trouble if she needs to take advice from virtual strangers. horse has already left the barn by then.😉😆

Originally posted by: chatbuster

flirting imo is not harmless. as they say, one thing can lead to another, including partners and by-standers getting jealous, of going down the garden path that runs nowhere etc. That said, it might still be preferable to more serious emotional/ physical attachments.

problem with moral policing as i see it is people running around with their heads chopped off each excercising their personal judgment. cant have folks individually and selectively apply their moral filters. that would quickly result in a lowest common denominator of expression, one where people are afraid of being rebuked and less willing to take the risk of engaging in spontaneous behavior. not much fun.

then, there's the question of verifying sincerity in the virtual domain. the person who is dispensing all that valuable advice could be trying to lure the kid by first establishing trust. dont a lot of pedophiles use the same bait and lure approach?

as for the question about the teenage daughter, i think the kid is already in trouble if she needs to take advice from virtual strangers. horse has already left the barn by then.😉😆

Wow!  There were so many points to debate against to my "anti-flirting for-policing" rant!  Do not corner me now mister. 😉 I agree with these.

Originally posted by: mermaid_QT

Eggo, since we are discussing, let us remind ourselves not use big size fonts and capital letters (forum codes) because it seems like yelling and you probably don;t intend to do so 😳😳.
If you have complaints about threads closed, please reach the dev team as they would gladly deal with the issues. I would have no idea which thread you are particularly talking about, because I resolve the matter of personal attacks then and there and also adequately imply it to the poster when I feel offended 😃. Only when the poster continues, I report.



huh???
I don't know who exactly you are accusing of lying here. You once again can resolve the matter either via Dev team / via friendly communication.
I do think your capital letters and posting this message in response to my post hurls some of the comments at me.
😳 😳 hence I wrote. If they are hurled at me, I am willing to resolve them through the dev team/ through PM.   If the "lying comments" are hurled at someone else, please let them know 😊.

Last but not the least, in the spirit of bygones be bygones, I choose to IGNORE few.  I hope they respect my feelings and not quote me, if they have to, then atleast definitely not twist my words, and do not make personal attacks at me.   If they avoid the above, there will be no reporting required 😃😳.  I would love it too.. 😃.  Quoting me will not get a response from me either and I promise not even to read what they've said.
They are more than welcome to report me whenever they feel like.

Thanks and appreciate your time.

mermaid_QT

well said QT. as always.

Originally posted by: mermaid_QT

Wow!  There were so many points to debate against to my "anti-flirting for-policing" rant!  Do not corner me now mister. 😉 I agree with these.

oh i was so hoping that you'd have something for the moral policing stuff. that's my favorite😆

and i did give you the first line in that post- flirting NOT being harmless. though that might be a bit like mark anthony's speech misleading the killers with his famous first line😉😆

Edited by chatbuster - 17 years ago

Originally posted by: mermaid_QT

Vineet,  I agree with you myself and hence said that some may think it is NOMB. I see why you would say that it is the duty of parents / mods. But when these are not around, I see nothing wrong in making a suggestion to see if majority would like such behaviour stopped.  If one can prove that majority finds the moral police wrong, then there is a reason to figure who is being oversensitive 😉.

honestly I feel even one oversensitive person is far too much, talking about majority, there are two people who are flirting and have a wavelength, a moral police steps in and says ok, I find this offensive, anyone else here think this is offensive, majority is on the side of the flirters😆. by this action the moral police has succeded in putting a mortification effect on the flirters, that goes against any discussion groups rule #1, treat your fellow member with respect

Generally by this time the flirters would have left the discussion and the moral police is now in the majority of one

what has just happened is the moral police has succesfully been able to impose their set of values, morals on others. Now people do not join forums to learn morals, do they?

In your opinion, just as the self-professed moral police is being over-sensitive and supposed to ignore the dirty words and flirting comments, the poster of such comments can (almost always does in fact 😆 😆 😆) ignore the police/ or should report the police in turn for that 😳
never happens, Indians/South Asians in general are very respectful or others feelings

e.g A boy and a girl are standing by a street corner, elderly person passes by clears the throat, generally the kids will say, lets talk tommorow at school/college, the kid will never say, "Uncleji Gale me kharash hai, Do you want Strepsils"
Pressing report button multiple times against a poster making offensive / dirty remarks (which majority find distasteful and comment in PMs ) can only get the poster in trouble.

now offensive dirty is a subjective term, if it is beyond a discussion groups policy, they will get warned, the moderator will step in right away and that flirting session will shut down. Also individuals are well aware of their limits, they will not cross that limit or else they know there are consequences, no-one needs to tell them, they know

If it is allowed and moral police is the one who is getting offended, maybe it is time they realize they are in the wrong place

Instead, if the moral police chooses to make it known to the poster, and the poster chooses to select audience, place and tone, I see no harm in trying that. It is being an adult instead of running to Dev team for every twisted or offensive word.

Nope that is vigilatism at the very best

Regards RISKS of personal chatting, what can I say Vineet? I cannot agree more 👏 👏 with you! Your parenting pointers are the right thing and there is only so much people other than parents can / should do when it comes to saving their friends from predators- who come in discrete fashion.

Additional Comment to clarify -  There is a THICK  line 😆😆 between funny flirting on web and making it more personal or of sexual nature.  I frankly support and even indulge in the former, while I have negative feelings regarding the LATTER in an Internet community where membership is open to children over 14.  That is when unasked-for-policing comes in.

now that is our personal opinion about where that line is, I have seen 14-15 year olds who are more advanced than 30 year olds, that is called as Generation gap, When we were 14-15, we were more advanced in certain areas than 30 year olds

I think we are applying our morals in our timeframe to current times, when the rules of engagement have changed significantly and we should let people who understand it more deal with it, rather than getting our hands into it and complicating the matter for the person responsible. Also different people have different set of rules, what is good in my household might be too conservative in yours or vice-versa, with such kind of subjectivety, moral policing is better left to the party responsibile of it, am just glad I am not the party responsible😃

ok, I see Egg and CB also, so I will step away from this😃 for the time being

Edited by sareg - 17 years ago

Originally posted by: chatbuster

flirting imo is not harmless. as they say, one thing can lead to another, including partners and by-standers getting jealous, of going down the garden path that runs nowhere etc. That said, it might still be preferable to more serious emotional/ physical attachments.

Internet flirting itself leads some people to come out of their inhibitions and take coast-coast flights to meet that special someone and there could be more serious emotional &/or physical attachments in store for once just virtual flirts / lovers

problem with moral policing as i see it is people running around with their heads chopped off each excercising their personal judgment. cant have folks individually and selectively apply their moral filters. that would quickly result in a lowest common denominator of expression, one where people are afraid of being rebuked and less willing to take the risk of engaging in spontaneous behavior. not much fun.

hehehe.. that reminds me how someone had policed me in PM saying I was flirting and whether my husband knew about it.  Sadly, that police was the only head thinking that way.  My moral policing involves watching individuals that become target of several PMs exchanged and discussions generated and questions raised.. and comments objected by more than one or two.   Then if of these group of individuals, one or two speak up as the moral police, I see nothing wrong in that.  A group will rarely judge an individual.  If they do, then since group forms majority, the chances that the individual will have fun among the group are slim 😉.

then, there's the question of verifying sincerity in the virtual domain. the person who is dispensing all that valuable advice could be trying to lure the kid by first establishing trust. dont a lot of pedophiles use the same bait and lure approach?

they sure do 😭.  this is why once again a group approach should be used.  If a person (eg me) has several girls on my MSN under 16 years of age, they all should be aware of that and also aware of the PM exchanges that may happen between us.  Sharing the conversations is the key.  I am more than happy if all my little friends here tell one another how qt didi was mad when they got bad grade and what she cooked tonight.  Most importantly, As Vineet said- when it comes to KIDS ON MESSENGER, I am sure parents have their strict rules and kids must abide by them. 

as for the question about the teenage daughter, i think the kid is already in trouble if she needs to take advice from virtual strangers. horse has already left the barn by then.😉😆

The kid is not always seeking advice, but the kid is reading and imbibing.  It is upto us to provide good examples! Most of the times when you talk of charity, people find it BLAH 😆..  There are different kind of people here which makes it a fun and real place 😃.   I know that not everyone here is here to be role models.  In fact, all of us are mainly here to have fun.  All I think is in a forum like DM, where kids do post sometimes for advice also, we should be aware of the impact we could make.  I love to have fun myself and have flirted occasionally and almost alway tried to keep discussions funny.  Just as digressing is funny only when done in limitation and with intellect/ wit flirting is funny within limits of words.  Why kids?  Even older members may be sometimes irked by some references.  If and when such individuals seem to form majority, one can assess themselves.  I definitely would!! 😃

Originally posted by: sareg

ok, I see Egg and CB also, so I will step away from this😃 for the time being

Is it fun for majority to read words that indirectly suggest SEXUAL scenarios between two chatters?  Really???  If one is a moral police in such scenario and others have a problem with that even in a forum infested with under-age posters, then perhaps one really doesn't belong here!

In terms of general flirting, I have indulged in it myself on separate threads, with several respectable debaters around here including Jatayu, there was a mermaid -flight attendant thread momentarily with you, with an italian server thread with rahul, on srgmp with CKY, with Tania, Maya, ANI   even girls...  many of these folks have indulged in flirting with others and I have never policed.  Funnily, 😆 I have been policed though PM for that and did not make a big deal out of it 😉.

I have given a personal example of myself here in order not to offend anyone who has policed unintentionally.  I do not remember moral policing anybody except one occasion in the absence of viewbie and moderater.  (that too for a hurt and offended friend, not in my interest)  All other times, I have used PM / messenger.
 Unfortunately I have dragged myself into THIS DEBATE today only since I posted my views on being against adult talk in public forum for under-aged. 

In response to your comment about moral police , forum fun and who doesn't belong where-
 I will say again.  If sexual digressing and blabber is FUN FACTOR of DM, even I do not belong here 😆 .  If this is what everybody likes, I'll be gladly back to JJKN forum and never regret not being here.  I am too old-fashioned if your LINE OF DISTICTION allows married women to indulge in sexual talk with fellow debaters (yes I am judgemental about that, i know) I also believe that reporting such posts is the right thing to do every time dev team members are active and around. 

I am sure you agree that there are healthy and intellectual ways of having fun and flirting and there are those who artfully do it .  😃 there are many of us who do that. 
One must also remember that some police are sometimes APPOINTED by chatters that seek some indulgence from 3rd party.  Policing ends up being a mere friendly gesture sometimes. ( I am not sure if you have answered  such requests in absence of Dev Team member, but once I have, hence I know.  It is unfortunate when those who seek help later join the others and forget why they asked 3rd person to police for them in the first place 😉.  Net is a crazy place and I learn it everyday 😆😆😆

Once again, if anything of this got personal, my apologies.  To keep it from becoming that way, I have made personal attack on myself and am reporting myself for the attack 😡😉😆..

Sareg, I have no trouble with flirting except for words of sexual nature in every related / unrelated thread.  I don't come here for that fun 😳. 
If I have ruined fun for others that one time I intervened, I apologize.

Edited by mermaid_QT - 17 years ago

Originally posted by: egghatcher

caps were inadvertent and i apologise if they bumped up your occular numbers.. as for who i was referring to i was referring to CB since you ask and he is back ,, welcome back from the hiatus rahul. and you for fanning fires which you seem to be doing a lot lately  and both of you hide behind abject verbosity after fuelling it more ways than one .....( this offends me as personal attack on two of us, please refrain Eggo, thanks! )  listen a pm is private message not to be used as punitive measure from behind the doors as it were..and I am sure you would afford equal opportunity to both sides of arguments when such a closed post (closed by the devteam itself of courrse ) is forced to be opened up for admonishing just select persons and then closed back again without affording a dialogue from opposing sides .. The ought to be the norm in a open forum ,forum being defined as such , if amity is indeed your goal  and you dont need to migrate to another section just because you cant handle this truth ok .. and I am not getting into my defense of the said post on this thread except making a mention to this because repeat because we resolved a rather irresponsible statement by you Mqt ji about the criteria of using chat and pm for flirting , namely for sexual pleasures .. And while on the subject let me add here that you or me or no one else here has a right to police married folks either that you so emphatically mention and object to ( IT WAS A BLOOPER RESOLVED & CORRECTED IN MAIN POST ACCORDINGLY AFTER ADEQUATE APLOGY)  , if they chose mutually to cogitate on private chats or pm for that matter as long as either parties dont object and report on this forum to the dev team and on other chats to proper entity...

Who is stopping anybody?  I am JUST debating here and making arguments against PUBLIC FLIRTING OF SEXUAL NATURE!!  What is going on? 😕  whatever they do in their PMs and in the messengers and in their lives cannot begin to bother me 😆😆😆.  I feel pukish in public chat though🤢, if one is married to someone else and indulges in such activity in public forum with another.  That is my opinion and I am entitled to have it, Ain's I? ?

In that sense I suspect you are carrying this on from an hearsey of one of your own because if it was you involved i believe the truth saying urge within you would make you spew out such names forthwith 

( HUH??  NO EGGO, RELAX, no names are coming out here.  It is just a DEBATE ARGUMENT and I have used an example from past to provide resons why some chatters end up policing )  .

Hello Eggo?? Please no personal statements about Rahul and me please !!  Thanks in advance. 😕
I haven't spewed any names and I won't! There is nothing alarming happening here. This is a debate about VIRTUAL FLIRTING and unfortunately, it has become about MORAL POLICING which I AM LEAST INTERESTED IN DOING 😆😆😆. On a personal note, I'll be ECSTATIC to IGNORE a FEW here.  I have done some policing in the past and in this DEBATE, I have provided it as a reason why an online friend could end up doing so. Why are we getting all personal here? All I would have liked is some support, but not getting it does not make me spew any names 😳  Like you said, I do have truth-telling urges, but I also have morals  (the police is off duty 😉😉, but morals stay) that will prohibit me for blabbering 😕
 
With regard to my PRIVATE CHAT post blooper  , I don't understand which part was so unclear. I have clarified my post and also corrected it where it is posted. TYPOS happen and are forgivable as long as they are not repeated, Am I wrong??   

EGGO, Please please contact the Dev Team with all your complaints because I am beginning to lose my pateince here 😕.. SORRY dear! If you wish to catch me on one typing blooper, go ahead and REPORT.  I'll deal with it in a rational way, when they ask me for an explanation.

Edited by mermaid_QT - 17 years ago

Originally posted by: egghatcher

caps were inadvertent and i apologise if they bumped up your occular numbers.. as for who i was referring to i was referring to CB since you ask and he is back ,, welcome back from the hiatus rahul. and you for fanning fires which you seem to be doing a lot lately  and both of you hide behind abject verbosity after fuelling it more ways than one ..... listen a pm is private message not to be used as punitive measure from behind the doors as it were..and I am sure you would afford equal opportunity to both sides of arguments when such a closed post (closed by the devteam itself of courrse ) is forced to be opened up for admonishing just select persons and then closed back again without affording a dialogue from opposing sides .. The ought to be the norm in a open forum ,forum being defined as such , if amity is indeed your goal  and you dont need to migrate to another section just because you cant handle this truth ok .. and I am not getting into my defense of the said post on this thread except making a mention to this because repeat because we resolved a rather irresponsible statement by you Mqt ji about the criteria of using chat and pm for flirting , namely for sexual pleasures .. And while on the subject let me add here that you or me or no one else here has a right to police married folks either that you so emphatically mention and object to , if they chose mutually to cogitate on private chats or pm for that matter as long as either parties dont object and report on this forum to the dev team and on other chats to proper entity... In that sense I suspect you are carrying this on from an hearsey of one of your own because if it was you involved i believe the truth saying urge within you would make you spew out such names forthwith ..

chatbuster IF-Rockerz Joined: 13 January 2006 Location: United States Posts: 6822

Posted: 30 March 2007 at 9:11pm | IP Logged mermaid_QT wrote: Wow!  There were so many points to debate against to my "anti-flirting for-policing" rant!  Do not corner me now mister. 😉 I agree with these. oh i was so hoping that you'd have something for the moral policing stuff. that's my favorite😆 and i did give you the first line in that post- flirting NOT being harmless. though that might be a bit like mark anthony's speech misleading the killers with his famous first line😉😆 Mark Antony also , rahul ,  a weasel who hid while brutus stabbed ceasar and emerged to be the lothario for his inamorata cleopatra  after the coast was clear for him to jump in 😉 had he survived actium carnage i bet he would have flirted with cleo's maidservant even in the interest of variety.. 😊

afford equal opportunity to both sides of the argument? good stuff. am all for it, provided we do have both sides appear with real, not fake, identities and talk things out openly and with proper decorum. cant have one side attack freely and with impunity behind a fake id. 😉also as long as criticism of someone's idol is not construed as "reeking of regionalism". and as long as we realize that there are far worse things in life than a joke about "ducks" which actually is related to the game of cricket. what's worse? imo, some of the really bawdy stuff (such as "stiff" etc😉). even the dhobi ka ghat for dhoni, and the gadha for gajendra singh, lines. the latter fwiw can actually be seen as casting names in an ethnically negative way. also, slinging personal info back at someone ceases to be fun after a while, especially when repeatedly used in a mocking off-topic way. what does a member's financial background have to do with the thread? someone also expressed "hurt" over a fairly light-hearted phrase used in response to their post. sorry, they felt hurt? nothing on the attacks that went on on another person? would that be a case of selective hurting?

without that kind of understanding, i am not sure i want to participate in the "discussion". cant be bothered listening to people who cant even stand up without fake IDs. if they cant have the courage of their convictions to come out in the open, then that's not exactly who i would want to deal with on an intellectual level. silly me, no?😊

Edited by chatbuster - 17 years ago