Joined: 22 October 2010
This is a little Eid present to everyone!
MG SS: Near to you
She felt numb as grief created an impermeable barrier around her. She could vaguely hear those around her, talking and crying, but nothing got through to her. For she was in her own little world, where everything hadn't been destroyed and there was still the chance for happiness.
But reality would always intrude.
He is gone...he is gone'.The words echoed at the back of her mind, threatening to break the icy composure and denial. To accept the fact that...he had left would destroy the last piece of sanity she had been clinging to.
"Bechari" An elderly lady sitting next to her patted her head and spoke softly, "It is cruel of fate to make you a widow at such a young age...only 26. You should be living your life, not having to face such a harsh loss"
Widow, such a powerful word. It changed everything about her; from being happily married to the man she had loved from the moment she had understood the meaning of love into suddenly being all alone.
Widow meant that no longer would she awake to the sound of her husband moving beside her, no longer would she feel his arms around her as she slept and no longer would she cocoon inside his love.
Widow meant that she wouldn't age with him; go through the motions of life, both the ups and downs. It meant that they wouldn't reach an age where there would be no longer anymore discoveries of each other, instead she was left with only the couple of years of their married life.
Some would say that she should have been better prepared for his death, after all the doctors had already warned her that he had only months to live with his brain tumour. It had been inoperable and he had been told that there was nothing to do but face death.
But how can you truly prepare? How could she convince herself that one day he would seize to breathe? That her life partner would give up on life?
"Beti, at least he has been saved from the pain of his illness" Another well-wisher tried to console her.
Saved? How has he been saved? She thought bitterly. For the last couple of years he fought against his own body and I fought for him, to die?
She closed her eyes, willing those well-meaning words to disappear and to be left with only him in her heart. Her mind wondered to one of their precious moments, when it had felt like they could never be torn apart.
Happiness is feeling the lightness inside of you, she spoke into his ear as she slept next to him. The feeling of flying.
Happiness is being with you, he smiled, his eyes crinkling at the edges, Even if I die today, I'll die a happy man.
She frowned as his words hit her, Why do you do this to me? She pushed away from him, turning to stare at the ceiling, not wanting to tear up at his words.
Darling, we cannot change fate but can change the way we accept it. His fingers brushed her cheek, I could bemoan my fate or I could enjoy these precious moments. Death makes these moments more valuable than they would be otherwise. How many people can feel these sensations as I do? How many can savour being with their love the way I am doing now? He leaned forward to press his lips against her neck, If I must die, than I would die in your arms.
If only I could keep you safe in my arms, her voice broke as she finally turned towards you, Maybe if you stay in my arms, death won't come. Maybe this is one way of being together.
But even her love hadn't been enough to keep him alive. The inevitable had come to pass and he had been taken away from her arms, never to return.
She looked around the room but she didn't see all the mourners. Instead she saw the images of him sitting in the chair in front of her, of him walking around in his boxers and of him leaning forward to kiss her.
Everywhere he has left his mark, a tear slid down her cheek, how can I ever let him go? How am I to live without him?
"Geet?" a familiar voice called out to her, one of the few capable of breaking through the blanket of her pain.
Blinking she turned towards the voice and saw the one person capable of breaking down her walls. She felt the sobs rise within her and finally she let them out. She choked on her tears but they wouldn't stop till he came to hold her hands.
She stared into his eyes to see their shared grief shining within them. She had never seen him in such a state, for he had always been strong and unbreakable but today even he was fragile.
"Geet I am so sorry" He patted her head despite feeling the same grief and pain. He wanted to console her but didn't know the right words.
"Oh Maan!" Geet cried out, "Vicky is dead...our Vicky is dead Maan. How am I to live without him?"
Maan felt his own tears in his eyes, as he thought about his cousin and best friend Vicky. "I know Geet, I know. But we are all here for you."
Okay I know some of you are ready to kill me for starting a new story...but be patient
So surprise...surprise...I am sure you didn't see the end part to his
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